RJ "etiquette" when you see a member out in a "real life" situation...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2007 9:58 PM GMT
    I ran in the "Reindeer Run" 5K on 12/09 at the Easton Lifetime Fitness in NE Columbus, My home gym is the Dublin Lifetime Fitness in NW Columbus. icon_biggrin.gif I recognized a few of the other runners and other guys in the gym, after the 5K run, from this site. They do list their gym in their profiles as a "Lifetime Fitness" in Columbus...so it wasn't a supriseicon_surprised.gif to eventually see somebody from this site. Obviously, you do not interupt someone in their run or workout just to "socialize", that's just disrespectful... My question is this...Do you introduce yourself and refere to seeing their profile and postings on this site, while you are in the gym or do you hit them up later online, (or not at all)? I did neither this time, but am really tempted too.
    Some people think that any personal contact with a person from the net is a "stalker"...I am NOT a stalker. I am "out" and sometimes forget that not everyone is as out or as comfortable with being out as I am. I want to be considereate of others privacy, but would just love to be able to put a real live person with their profile and postings. Anyone been in this situation? How did or would you handle iticon_question.gif For me personally, if you see me in real life...I would love to personally meet you. PLEASE come up to me and introduce yourself. Please tell me that you saw my profile and postings...but that's just me....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2007 11:49 PM GMT
    The best thing to do, when you see a fellow RJ'r at the gym, is to go to the opposite corner of the gym and turn and face the object of your stalk (j/k) and start jumping up and down and wave your arm wildly and shout "hey, hey, I saw your profile on REALJOCK DOT COM, yeah, you, hey, hey, you working out with that girl, yeah, you, I saw your REALJOCK DOT COM PROFILE COOL HUH? WANNA GET A COFFEE OR SOMETHING?"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 12:10 AM GMT
    I think that it is appropriate to send a quick note after to say hi etc., unless you've chatted with them online before and made some kind of connection.

    You just never really know what is going on in their life and it probably isn't right to cause them any uncomfortableness (is that a word?)

    I'm an open book, but I've met a few guys in my brief time of being out where their's isn't... It's probably just best. You certainly wouldn't want anyone going crazy on you.

    But that's just my opinion.

  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Dec 10, 2007 12:13 AM GMT
    I'm only out to family yet, but if anyone on this site were to see me in person, I would really like them to introduce themselves to me. I'm not that bothered about people finding out I'm gay. I just don't now how to tell them.

    As for me seen some one on here in person, well I'm not sure if I would approach them. I don't know if it is just me, but I notice alot of gay guys think if you talk to them, you are looking for something.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 2:35 AM GMT
    I would say if:

    - The person has a picture posted on the internet, and

    - You have previously struck up an aquaintanceship with that person online, and

    - You see that person with a free moment when they are not involved with someone else, then

    Why not walk up and introduce yourself?

    'Hello, I am "Rob", I know we haven't met before but you might know me from xxxxxx as zzzzzz... I just wanted to meet you and say hello."

    Let them take it from there.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16308

    Dec 10, 2007 2:41 AM GMT
    I would wait and say something online to them. You never know where their comfort level is and where their mind is at (might be in professional mode from a days work as they walk in). Its non threatening and
    assuridly non intrusive. While I would welcome you
    saying hello to me in person, others may not have that comfort level.

    I would assume most will say, "Come up and say hello next time".. but the point is, they will expect it
    and you have conditioned them for it. If you just approach them, they might not have any idea who you are and it might be uneasy. I say go the extra mile to insure a good experience.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 2:59 AM GMT
    If the guy has a picture profile on here, I see no reason not to go up, identify yourself as from RJ, and say that you want to say hello and how much pleasure it is to see another from RJ. Say you hope he doesnt mind your saying hello. . After his response, you respond accordingly. If he wants you to get lost, apologize in a general way for interrupting at the meet. Say what a pleasure it was meeting him and say good bye. [Exit]

    Of course, dont do any of this while he is surrounded by other that might embarrass him. Wait for a private moment slightly out of earshot of others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 4:58 AM GMT
    Of course, if he happens to be PICTURELESS, then reach inside your sweats for a .38 pistol and shoot him to DEATH right on the spot. Death to pictureless...

    Sorry, I'm channeling someone else here.....groggy...must wake up.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 7:10 AM GMT
    Caslon's suggestion is a cool one!

    personally, i think it would be cool if a RJ member saw me out and about and said hello. I'm always up for meeting new folks! icon_biggrin.gif

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Dec 10, 2007 11:33 AM GMT
    I don't see anything wrong with someone coming up to me and saying... Hey, I saw you on the RJ website and I just wanted to introduce my self

    If the profile is pictureless or if has a bodypart instead of a face picture then you really would be able to tell who it was anyway

    You're only introducing yourself...and you're not fishing for a hook-up which would be in bad taste to begin with
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 11:42 AM GMT
    Personally...i wouldn't mind having someone from RJ come up to me at the gym or something just to say hi and shoot the breeze for a few minutes. I think it might be nice depending on the guy

    As for myself...i've never been good with starting conversation out of nowhere and would feel awkward about going up to a person out of the blue and saying "Hi...I saw you profile on RJ...just wanted to say hi"..but that's just my shyness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 2:40 PM GMT
    I'd probably hiss at them like a snake in the grass. Well, unless they were hot...either way I wouldn't say anything to them.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Dec 10, 2007 2:49 PM GMT
    Picture this..I was backpacking across southern United States and guess what. I saw this hunky guys, kinda short, balding and realize I seeing Chuckstud..in person. Goodness I cant believe my eyes. I thought of saying hi... but realize it not a good ideas. He might just take a gun and shoot me for being pictureless.

    I reach my destination of Atlanta and meet this hunky 24 years old guys but look 88. Wait a minute here, it that Harrison Ford,... no it OBSENEWISH. What a dream, this cant be true.

    Sorry guys, just having fun. Of course it OK to say hi. Well, if you guys are travelling in South East Asia or Australia and meet a Malaysian guys with brown complexion, travelling solo, carrying a backpack,wearing glases, hanging on gay area and checking out all those good looking guys. That me, Zak

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 2:51 PM GMT
    Just say hi if you see me. It's cool.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 6:10 PM GMT
    I see one every day in a private situation, but i don't think you mean that icon_biggrin.gif Well not many of you RJ's are living in Holland, so the changes that i meet another of you guy's are low, but seems to me that everyone on here with a clear facepic wouldn't mind if someone say's: "Hi, you look familiar from RJ"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 6:20 PM GMT
    I think we should all get barcodes that identify us!!!!! That way we don't have to worry about what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Dec 10, 2007 6:46 PM GMT
    are you sure you're not just trying to think of an excuse to get another tatoo? a barcode tat would be cool...very Orwellian
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 6:51 PM GMT
    No.. it was my attempt to say somethng clever... too many people have bar code tattoos these days.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 10, 2007 9:50 PM GMT
    I would love it if another RJ member would come up to me and say "Hi"! I would take it as a compliment that I must have wrote something here at these forums to warrant someone to remember me! Does that make any sense? icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 9:59 PM GMT
    well I had something similar happen from someone on gaydar and it kinda freeked me out! I knew the guy went to my gym and whilst Im probably the most open approachable guy around I hadnt said hi to him online as I didnt have anything in common accept that site.

    So I would say message them before hand or after unless you are just striking up a conversation in general.

    I can just see it now "Hey You are on Real Jock" CrunchThumpBang as you get the wrong guy ha ha ha ha ha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 10:00 PM GMT
    I have experienced seeing someone from RJ too. I seriously considered introducing myself, but I decided against it because he was working and I knew if I had someone here recognize me while I was working, I would prefer them not to mention it around my co-workers. Though, there is probably a 80% chance I would recognize them, since there is a whole 10 people in Montgomery on here. I'd prefer to message them about seeing them.

    BUT if I were anywhere else, I completely would not mind if someone came up to me and introduced themselves, and mentioned they recognized me from RJ.

    I don't know maybe I'm just too shy.icon_rolleyes.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2007 10:08 PM GMT
    I know the concern. Online world, the smiling pic and all the posting make you think the guy is very friendly. But in real life, the guy has no smile, looks like he can punch anyone in the nose, and always busy.

    oh well, why not, cover your nose, and go up and chat. someone out to be the first, that's what i always said.
  • irishboxers

    Posts: 357

    Dec 10, 2007 10:13 PM GMT
    A tricky one...

    When I see someone I recognize from online somewhere I'm tempted to say hi, but usually don't because I have an unusual capacity for remembering information in a profile if I found it interesting/cool/unique/odd. It's so bad that my friends love going out to the bars with me because I can go around the room and point people out and either pull some factoid out...or let them in on how much BS they put in their profile.

    In my limited experience, most people are not comfortable with a stranger coming up to them with any knowledge of who they are. They freak out or looked shocked that someone is speaking to them. Imagine that, talking instead of IMing or texting.

    Some folks still think that the internet is some other world that doesn't connect to reality and anything they write stays online and doesn't transfer. Younger generations get it, but it seems to be the case with people over 30 or so.

    I guess the only thing I can offer is to go for it, but be prepared for some guys to be less than thrilled. Now if it's a question about not being out, then they need to rethink having their picture on a gay fitness site, right?
  • SpartanJock

    Posts: 199

    Dec 10, 2007 10:20 PM GMT
    If you have the opportunity to say hello, and have it a private conversation (not within earshot of someone), then by all means say HI.
    IF there is not such an opportunity, then send him a note later...who knows, it could be your next future ex-husband. icon_biggrin.gif

    Posts: 641

    Dec 11, 2007 10:58 PM GMT
    FUNNY as it just happened today, only the dude was from down the mountain [redneck speak for an out of town flatlander!] but had no idea where i knew the face from... I simply went up and said hello, i'm josh, i think i know you from somewhere. He said the same thing and he was the one who brought up the site, and we talked for a half hour, parting on gr8 terms and i extended an invitation to look me up on his next ski trip, or even crash at my place. no weirdness, no hurt feelings, in fact he said he would plan a trip during a storm to get stranded!
    Sometimes the direct, friendly approach is the best.