After seeing a guy for some time, when do you ask him to become your boyfriend?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2009 7:27 PM GMT
    I've always rushed into relationships and I've recently decided to take some time off from them to be with myself. I'm looking to start dating again to see what's out there. At the same time, I want to do something different. If I meet someone cool, I want to know when would be a good time to ask them to start a more serious relationship with me.

    How long do you see someone before asking them if they want to be your boyfriend?
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    Sep 10, 2009 7:36 PM GMT
    The standard time frame is about maybe 3 - 4 weeks (after a month or maybe 2 months) after you guys going out, on maybe 4 - 5 - 7 dates and provided that both of you are sucking each other face already icon_wink.gif. It depends on the vibes, too - you two need to sit down and talk about going steady/being BFs, if both agree then it becomes official, you and him are off the market at that point. icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 10, 2009 7:42 PM GMT
    brennieboy saidHow long do you see someone before asking them if they want to be your boyfriend?

    Do you think they'll ask you first?
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    Sep 10, 2009 8:03 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    brennieboy saidHow long do you see someone before asking them if they want to be your boyfriend?

    Do you think they'll ask you first?


    It's possible. But if they ask me after the first or second date, I would reply nicely that I don't think it's a good time yet until we get to know each other more. I just don't wanna rush things like I used to.
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    Sep 10, 2009 8:04 PM GMT
    SexySwimmer saidThe standard time frame is about maybe 3 - 4 weeks (after a month or maybe 2 months) after you guys going out, on maybe 4 - 5 - 7 dates and provided that both of you are sucking each other face already icon_wink.gif. It depends on the vibes, too - you two need to sit down and talk about going steady/being BFs, if both agree then it becomes official, you and him are off the market at that point. icon_cool.gif


    Makes sense! Thanks!
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    Sep 11, 2009 11:10 PM GMT
    You ask them to be your boyfriend when after a couple of months people start referring to you two as boyfriends. Thats how it happened with me.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Sep 11, 2009 11:34 PM GMT
    i had been seeing my current guy off and on, for about 6 months when it happened. both of us had avoided using the exact term "boyfriend", in fear of over-comitting or boxing the other into something the other did not want.

    after a few drinks, at a post mardi gras blow out party at his house, he was walking me around, showing me off to his co-workers, his arm around my waist, introducing me as "...and this is my bf rnch".

    after that there was no turning back.. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 11, 2009 11:52 PM GMT
    One must take extreme care to avoid rushing. Be absolutely certain that the drugs have taken full effect before placing him in handcuffs. When he wakes up give him two aspirin and let him know that you are now boyfriends. Should he complain, worry not, he will eventually succumb to Stockholm Syndrome.
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    Sep 12, 2009 12:03 AM GMT
    They stop whining, its like a puppy.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Sep 12, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    UrsaMajor saidOne must take extreme care to avoid rushing. Be absolutely certain that the drugs have taken full effect before placing him in handcuffs. When he wakes up give him two aspirin and let him know that you are now boyfriends. Should he complain, worry not, he will eventually succumb to Stockholm Syndrome.


    A more humane approach would be to set out food for him every day for two winter months. After that, he will have to come back or he will starve to death. Wait a second, that's how to get rid of somebody. Nevermind.

    Other than that, you can always ask the other guy "when do you think it's the right time to consider another guy a boyfriend".
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 12, 2009 12:31 AM GMT
    Like what has been mentioned, I've normally rushed into things with people. I refuse to do that after having learned that there is so much to a person than what little of them you get to see. Learning their fears as much as their dreams, learning their faults as much as their frighteningly wonderful and attractive qualities ... they're all just part of the process of getting to know someone. I'm looking for friends because with a strong connection either a relationship can unexpectedly develop or, to say the least, a potentially life-long bond can be had.

    I'm not sure as to when it is right to call someone your boyfriend because it's something that the two of you have to sit and consider together. I want one more than anything else at the moment, but I'm smart enough to consider the fact that I may not be ready to uplift another person into being the best that he can be quite yet. I want to love someone else with every bit that makes me ... me. However, I'd like to line my actions with my thoughts and that is really difficult.
    I want to be a man I'd be willing to date before I can date anyone else.

    I don't mean to ramble but this subject strikes a particular nerve. Very nice thread.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 12, 2009 12:38 AM GMT
    I know guys (including on RJ) that use the term "boyfriend" pretty fast after becoming acquainted with the other guy.

    For me, "boyfriend" means something exclusive, it isn't arbitrary, it involves some degree of commitment. I've only had one and I didn't use the word "boyfriend" for several (well actually a number) of months when it all started almost 11 years ago.