Shy Guys

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Sep 14, 2009 3:15 AM GMT
    Have you met a guy who was shy? If so, what did you do? Do you try and help and talk or whatever, or are they too shy for you and you move on?

    I think being shy is so hard in society in general. I can talk to strangers or ask random people something but when it comes to making friends and talking to cute guys, or a guy I like it all changes. Shy people need someone who is patient b/c we will come out of our little shell after a while. Why do people want the loud or just talkative person right away? Part of my being shy besides it being just part of personality is that people in general do not give me a chance. Most people probably are thinking, "oh well he is shy, that's his issue not mine, whatever." Of course I am gonna be timid, shy and cautious when talking to someone new because I don't know if they will just randomly leave. I am not even THAT shy, I have seen some really shy people

    Do shy guys finish last?
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    Sep 14, 2009 3:24 AM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidHave you met a guy who was shy? If so, what did you do? Do you try and help and talk or whatever, or are they too shy for you and you move on?

    I think being shy is so hard in society in general. I can talk to strangers or ask random people something but when it comes to making friends and talking to cute guys, or a guy I like it all changes. Shy people need someone who is patient b/c we will come out of our little shell after a while. Why do people want the loud or just talkative person right away? Part of my being shy besides it being just part of personality is that people in general do not give me a chance. Most people probably are thinking, "oh well he is shy, that's his issue not mine, whatever." Of course I am gonna be timid, shy and cautious when talking to someone new because I don't know if they will just randomly leave. I am not even THAT shy, I have seen some really shy people

    Do shy guys finish last?


    It takes effort to get to know someone, and shyness can be an obstacle to that. These guys may also interpret your shyness as weakness or lack of confidence.

    You can't let the fear of someone leaving you inhibit your personality. In a sense, you have to throw caution to the wind and just put your best foot forward. Be open, but be yourself. Nothing's wrong with shyness, but people will get bored and turned off if you make them work too hard, and they may feel you are inaccessible.
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    Sep 14, 2009 4:46 AM GMT
    If you don't say anything people might thing you are uninteresting. Just brood a lot. People find brooding guys attractive.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Sep 14, 2009 5:06 AM GMT
    jprichva saidOh, who knows. Maybe they just pass you up for being Republican.


    I am open and would date a guy who is the opposite of me in terms of political views, but it's guys like you who would deter me from that
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    Sep 14, 2009 5:08 AM GMT
    Jmuscle33 said
    jprichva saidOh, who knows. Maybe they just pass you up for being Republican.


    I am open and would date a guy who is the opposite of me in terms of political views, but it's guys like you who would deter me from that

    Then brood, dammit brood.icon_twisted.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 14, 2009 5:09 AM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidHave you met a guy who was shy? If so, what did you do? Do you try and help and talk or whatever, or are they too shy for you and you move on?

    I think being shy is so hard in society in general. I can talk to strangers or ask random people something but when it comes to making friends and talking to cute guys, or a guy I like it all changes. Shy people need someone who is patient b/c we will come out of our little shell after a while. Why do people want the loud or just talkative person right away? Part of my being shy besides it being just part of personality is that people in general do not give me a chance. Most people probably are thinking, "oh well he is shy, that's his issue not mine, whatever." Of course I am gonna be timid, shy and cautious when talking to someone new because I don't know if they will just randomly leave. I am not even THAT shy, I have seen some really shy people

    Do shy guys finish last?


    NOOO my guy is a shy guy-- 6 yrs ago I just planted one on him when we were alone!! I thought he was gonna be mad our punch me out- he wasn't, but said if I didn't he would have NEVER.icon_cool.gif
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Sep 14, 2009 7:01 AM GMT
    TrowelMonger saidIf you don't say anything people might thing you are uninteresting. Just brood a lot. People find brooding guys attractive.


    what does that might?
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Sep 14, 2009 7:01 AM GMT
    Jmuscle33 said
    TrowelMonger saidIf you don't say anything people might thing you are uninteresting. Just brood a lot. People find brooding guys attractive.


    what does that might?


    what does that mean
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    Sep 14, 2009 11:06 AM GMT
    jprichva said
    Jmuscle33 said
    jprichva saidOh, who knows. Maybe they just pass you up for being Republican.


    I am open and would date a guy who is the opposite of me in terms of political views, but it's guys like you who would deter me from that

    I was kidding. Lighten up.
    Stop it! You know Liberals are not supposed to have a sense of humor. icon_smile.gif

    Being shy is no more or less desirable than being an extrovert. Just relax and be yourself.

    You see somebody you wanna talk to, you gotta go for it.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Sep 14, 2009 1:31 PM GMT
    Sometimes with shy guys there shyness can be interpreted as disinterest.
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    Sep 14, 2009 2:13 PM GMT
    Eye contact and a smile goes a long ways. Just learn to relax and at times push yourself a bit. We're all different and for that I'm greatful!
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    Sep 14, 2009 2:30 PM GMT
    Jmuscle33 said
    jprichva saidOh, who knows. Maybe they just pass you up for being Republican.


    I am open and would date a guy who is the opposite of me in terms of political views, but it's guys like you who would deter me from that



    Great reply!
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    Sep 14, 2009 2:35 PM GMT








    He's so shy:

    When I first saw him standin' there
    I wanted to speak but did not dare
    Something inside whispered to me
    You'd better move in carefully

    And then he smiled and turned away
    That told me all he could not say
    That's when I knew
    He wanted me too
    But I had to do some breakin' through

    He's so shy
    He's so shy
    That sweet little boy
    Who caught my eye
    He's so shy
    He's so shy
    And he's much to good to let that by
    Oh, yes he is

    Now holding him gently through the night
    Nothin' has ever felt so right
    And I'm so glad I took the time
    That I had to take to make him mine
    He can still do things to my heart
    Just like he could right from the start
    Each time I see
    That quality
    That never stopped attracting me

    (He's so shy)
    So good lookin'
    (He's so shy)
    He's really got me goin'
    (That sweet little boy)
    (Who caught my eye)
    (He's so shy)
    I'm so glad I've got to know him
    (He's so shy)
    'Cause he's one in a million
    (And I'll love him 'til the day I die)
    Oooooh, yes I will

    (Oooooh, he's so shy)
    That's why I love my baby
    (He's so shy)
    You know he's drivin' me crazy
    (That sweet little boy who caught my eye)
    (I said, he's so shy)
    It took a long time to know him
    (He's so shy)
    And I'm so glad I got to show him
    That I'll love him until the day I die
    Oh, yeah
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    Sep 14, 2009 3:22 PM GMT
    I am a kind of shy guy, but nothing to extreme. I warm up quickly once I get to know someone. Oddly, I seem to do better in crowds, like a party or club or large meeting at work than I do in small groups or one on one. Sometimes when I've been approached by a guy that I have liked, my shyness has been interpreted as being not interested.
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Sep 14, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
    It's hard to be shy. My shyness is almost always interpreted as snobbishness, and I therefore have to work pretty hard to appear approachable...
  • Matia79

    Posts: 215

    Sep 14, 2009 3:46 PM GMT
    jarhead5536 saidIt's hard to be shy. My shyness is almost always interpreted as snobbishness, and I therefore have to work pretty hard to appear approachable...


    I'm with Jarhead on this. That was exactly the case with me. I'd been told that I seemed very unnapproachable and that was a problem not only socially but professionally as well (I'm a theatre performer by trade...strange, I know). I recently learned however that keeping your head up and relaxing your face makes a HUGE difference in how people percieve you. I never make the first move in initiating conversation but have found that the more I seem relaxed the more likely people are to feel relaxed and comfortable around me (even though my insides are screaming 'bloody murder'). I even tried this technique in an audition a few weeks ago and was told by my agent last week I scored one of the lead roles. How's THAT for a shift in attitude?! Better believe I'm a convert now!
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    Sep 14, 2009 3:56 PM GMT
    heartrobb saidI am a kind of shy guy, but nothing to extreme. I warm up quickly once I get to know someone.


    This may be related to the 'slow to warm up' temperament in child psychology. This definitely applies/d to me. I can vividly remember early childhood examples of situations where I was too shy to initiate contact. Growing up, most of my friends took the initiative to meet me. Had they not, I probably would have had far fewer friends. To a lesser degree, this still holds true, today.

    One other thing I might mention is that eastern cultures have a deeper respect and appreciation for the introspective as compared to Americans, and to a lesser degree, Europeans.
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    Sep 14, 2009 3:57 PM GMT
    The biggest issue for me back when I was single when dealing with shy guys was that I could never tell if they were into me or not. Because of that I often times gave up on them in as little as the 2nd or 3rd date.

    I myself am mildly shy too, but if you're out with a guy you gotta make some effort to let him know that you're feeling him.

    Most people are patient in getting to know you and getting you to let down your shell when there isn't any romantic interest involved. By the time you schedule a date, they need to see potential. They can't see that if you're withdrawn and afraid to open up.

    Its not a bad thing, just know that many people don't have anything against you being shy, but rather not being able to tell if you're interested, or if you oddly distant. Shyness is sometimes hard to read.

    If you can't work on opening up a bit more you will find that it will take a man with a lot of patience to truly get to know you.

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    Sep 14, 2009 4:25 PM GMT
    Yeah, but you shy guys have to put a little effort into it too. What if the other guy is kinda shy too and gets up enough nerve to approach you? Then he has to work on his own shyness, and deal with yours too.

    The worst think a shy guy can do is be disinterested ...........as in not returning a smile, or looking the other way when a guy looks at him.....( as a defense mechanism to avoid the awkwardness of meeting someone)..........Even though the guy is shy, he is still projecting disinterest. Can't go very far with that.

    I'm all for making a special effort to pursue someone who is worth it but sometimes its just too much damn work to get a guy to open up.

    No pain no gain........as in finishing last.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 14, 2009 4:48 PM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidHave you met a guy who was shy? If so, what did you do? Do you try and help and talk or whatever, or are they too shy for you and you move on?

    ... I can talk to strangers or ask random people something but when it comes to making friends and talking to cute guys, or a guy I like it all changes. Shy people need someone who is patient b/c we will come out of our little shell after a while.

    Why do people want the loud or just talkative person right away? Part of my being shy besides it being just part of personality is that people in general do not give me a chance. Most people probably are thinking, "oh well he is shy, that's his issue not mine, whatever " ...

    Do shy guys finish last?


    I've met quite a few guys that are shy. First off, I think you are being highly assumptive here ... in a manner that is doing more harm than good to your psyche. The only thing I think most would do here is what you do yourself; most people are content when speaking to those that don't invoke some sort of emotional reaction. most people have trouble finding the words when speaking to someone who humbles them with desirability.

    Don't assume that all or even most people want the talkative guy and, conversely, don't think that the talkative person has their live together completely. We each have some sort experience that we are working through and would gladly like the support of others in order to overcome.
    I, for one, find the quiet guys to have a lot to say once you begin speaking with them. Shy boys are the ones that leave me weak in the knees the most, but that is just from an initial generalization; each person you meet must be taken as part of the general human experience but need to treated as an individual (not so easy to do).

    I'll say that there are many things that hinder our ability to lead the life we would all like for ourselves, but being afraid to speak to another person in your community or beyond should not be one. Try searching for little exercises in breaking the ice and see if practice doesn't make for improvement. Shy is cute, but a gentleman-like sense of restraint is ...
    * swoons *
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    Sep 14, 2009 4:58 PM GMT
    Jmuscle33 said
    Jmuscle33 said
    TrowelMonger saidIf you don't say anything people might thing you are uninteresting. Just brood a lot. People find brooding guys attractive.


    what does that might?


    what does that mean


    If one person sits in a table with others and does not say anything, people may think they simply have nothing to say.
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    Sep 14, 2009 6:51 PM GMT
    shyness can be cute but if the guy doesn't eventually start opening up, it's hard for me to stay interested. i dealt with it as a kid but have really changed over the years.

    "Shyness is nice but shyness can stop you from getting all the things in life you'd like to." - The Smiths
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Sep 14, 2009 9:26 PM GMT
    calinative77 saidshyness can be cute but if the guy doesn't eventually start opening up, it's hard for me to stay interested. i dealt with it as a kid but have really changed over the years.

    "Shyness is nice but shyness can stop you from getting all the things in life you'd like to." - The Smiths


    I agree! I recently lost interest in a guy who was extremely shy, it's like you had to pull teeth to keep a conversation going.
  • me35mtl

    Posts: 306

    Sep 14, 2009 9:33 PM GMT
    IM pretty shy and never made the first move when it comes to guys only..if it were a regular day to day thing i consider myself pretty straight forward..But in the dating world im shy like hell only because i never know why a guy's true intention which makes me come off as maybe standoff-ish or even maybe mean looking..but with me (and all shy guys) once you get to talk to them, we're pretty much like everyone else..and you never know what you could be missing out on if you dont try..(guess i should take my own advice on that one too..lol)
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    Sep 14, 2009 9:41 PM GMT
    I am a talker, so I like to try to bring a guy out of his shell and feel comfortable. If it works great if it doesnt I still try to be nice and will invite him out another time. But eventually there will be a general expectation of trying to converse back and forth.

    But I certainly will try and bring him out.