Why, exactly, did you break up with your boyfriend?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 4:53 AM GMT
    I'm tired of vague answers like "it just didn't work out."

    Why, exactly, did you break up with your last boyfriend? When someone mentions that they are no longer together, I usually get one of five reasons: 1) he cheated, 2) either he or the lover moved to another city, 3) he went back into the closet, 4) poor sex-life, or 5) abusive behavior towards himself or the other partner. All of these examples may sound like proper reason for a breakup---especially abuse and cheating---but what REALLY went on inside your past relationship that made you throw in the towel?

    What really amazes me is how a lot of guys become such great friends with their ex-partners. I mean, afterall, isn't a boyfriend suppose to be like the best friend you've ever had, only better? If he's such a "great friend" now, then why didn't it work out, especially after being together for several years? Do you think your breakup was over something trivial and that it didn't have to end? Was it really his snoring that made you leave? If you left him for another man, what did your ex-boyfriend lack that the new guy had?

    Think about it. Gay men, and straights to a degree, never discuss the downside of their relationships. One minute, they are together. The next minute, they are not. No one really discusses the "in betweens" (details) that took place that led to the breakup. Could confiding in a close friend, relative, or counselor about the sour state of your relationship might have saved it? If you or him simply "fell out of love"... then, why?
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 18, 2009 9:04 AM GMT
    My last bf, leave me after his other bf ask him to make a choice between us. He is a better provider (time, money, and dedication) and he make up his mind that he are better off with the other guy. He apologize to me, but I kinda think our breakup are coming. I am emotionaly prepare for it.
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    Sep 18, 2009 12:14 PM GMT
    enolcyc saidI'm tired of vague answers like "it just didn't work out."

    Why, exactly, did you break up with your last boyfriend? When someone mentions that they are no longer together, I usually get one of five reasons: 1) he cheated, 2) either he or the lover moved to another city, 3) he went back into the closet, 4) poor sex-life, or 5) abusive behavior towards himself or the other partner. All of these examples may sound like proper reason for a breakup---especially abuse and cheating---but what REALLY went on inside your past relationship that made you throw in the towel?

    What really amazes me is how a lot of guys become such great friends with their ex-partners. I mean, afterall, isn't a boyfriend suppose to be like the best friend you've ever had, only better? If he's such a "great friend" now, then why didn't it work out, especially after being together for several years? Do you think your breakup was over something trivial and that it didn't have to end? Was it really his snoring that made you leave? If you left him for another man, what did your ex-boyfriend lack that the new guy had?

    Think about it. Gay men, and straights to a degree, never discuss the downside of their relationships. One minute, they are together. The next minute, they are not. No one really discusses the "in betweens" (details) that took place that led to the breakup. Could confiding in a close friend, relative, or counselor about the sour state of your relationship might have saved it? If you or him simply "fell out of love"... then, why?


    Wow I take it you live in a very reserved area. Where I come from, people have a tendancy to try to tell you their whole life story if you let them. Especially people who just had recent break ups, both men and women. They'll tell you everything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 1:50 PM GMT
    I have the this-is-why-it-didn't-work-out conversation with the person I am breaking up with. Frankly, it is no one's god damned business and if someone took offense to my vague answer I would take a poo on their doorstep.

    Breakups really make me a more mature individual.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 2:26 PM GMT
    Our respective work lives cut into our ability to have a relationship and also work out some communication problems.
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    Sep 18, 2009 2:45 PM GMT
    He cheated. There is just nooooo coming back from that kind of betrayal.
    I could even look at him I was so disgusted when he told me. EH!
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    Sep 18, 2009 2:47 PM GMT
    He annoyed the shit out of me.

    He would not stop picking his nose in public and then putting it in his mouth icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    Long term BF breakup:
    I grew up.
    He chose to become a child.
    I had no desire to be a parent.

  • swlaman82

    Posts: 83

    Sep 18, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
    He started doing drugs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
    MadeNUSA saidHe annoyed the shit out of me.

    He would not stop picking his nose in public and then putting it in his mouth icon_evil.gif


    EW! icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 18, 2009 3:06 PM GMT
    lenoxx said
    MadeNUSA saidHe annoyed the shit out of me.

    He would not stop picking his nose in public and then putting it in his mouth icon_evil.gif


    EW! icon_eek.gif


    Just make you wonder if he passed it back to him when they kissed. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 3:11 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 3:16 PM GMT
    hector2009 said
    lenoxx said
    MadeNUSA saidHe annoyed the shit out of me.

    He would not stop picking his nose in public and then putting it in his mouth icon_evil.gif


    EW! icon_eek.gif


    Just make you wonder if he passed it back to him when they kissed. LOL


    No! There were no PDAs. And he had to clean up when arrived home
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 3:30 PM GMT
    (I posted something but he has an account on this site...too close.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 3:34 PM GMT
    What about: found someone more compatible?
  • Akula

    Posts: 130

    Sep 18, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    He buried me $60k in debt while i was stationed in Korea, nuf said
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 4:02 PM GMT
    Which boyfriend?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 4:07 PM GMT
    After 15 years together - we came to the mutual agreement that each of our lives were taking on different directions. At the time we met we were both very young, came out to each other, and had never been with anyone else ever. It was a rather unique situation. We have both grown up a lot since then, changed a lot of the way we handle and deal with situations, and neither of us wanted to see the other have to give up anything that he had worked hard to achieve just to satisfy the relationship. Each of our jobs were affecting our lives in terms of lack of time together resulting in too many arguements. There was never any cheating or jealousies. We were both adult enough to realize our journey had come to an end, and we will always remain good friends. We both agreed that we would rather see and support each other being happy with someone else than be un-happy together.
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    Sep 18, 2009 5:00 PM GMT
    RuggerATX said(I posted something but he has an account on this site...too close.)
    Oh god, you can't do that...dish!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 5:34 PM GMT
    after 13 years he didnt want to own a home with me, had already found someone else close to my build and had already started sleeping with them and was treating me like shit...hm I think that was enough to know that it was over. leaving all that and taking the dogs was the best thing. he's still a drunk and I get to sleep with the musclemen I like. Still looking for my full time muscleman though but glad to be out of that crap!
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    Sep 18, 2009 6:11 PM GMT
    zakariahzol saidMy last bf, leave me after his other bf ask him to make a choice between us. He is a better provider (time, money, and dedication) and he make up his mind that he are better off with the other guy. He apologize to me, but I kinda think our breakup are coming. I am emotionaly prepare for it.




    conjugate your verbs! gah!!!!!! this hurts my eyes!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 6:36 PM GMT
    He was highly disengaging, I had no idea what was going through his head and he refused to share.
    (that's the kind way of saying... I was bored)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 7:03 PM GMT
    He was bright, charming, extremely handsome, and we had terrific sex. But he was also a trust fund baby, narcissistic, spoiled, self-involved. Because of his assets he well knew any number of other gay men were ever-ready to fawn all over him -- hence he was un-giving in the relationship.
    I was ecstatic when things were going well and miserable when they weren't. Because he was so good-looking my friends couldn't believe I was dissatisfied. I couldn't bring myself to break up with him.
    So I slept with someone else and made sure he found out about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 18, 2009 7:11 PM GMT
    1- He moved to Utah and long distance wasn't going to work.
    2- We were just fundamentally incompatible.
    3- He was still in love with his ex-boyfriend.
    4- He was still in love with his ex-boyfriend.
    5- (?)... current boyfriend and I are quite happy although needless to say, I'm fairly suspicious at this point of ex-boyfriends.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Sep 18, 2009 7:20 PM GMT
    My only long term bf I had (dated for 4 years), we broke up because I wanted to have more independence and have time to grow and experience things and meet other guys as well. We got together when I was 18 and he was 33 so I feel he got to have his independence, and wanted to discover me without having to answer to us.

    To this day we are good terms, and who knows what the future holds.