searching 4 happiness... religion and family or leaving home for a fully gay life?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2009 5:44 AM GMT
    this is so "a gay question" what would you u
    or what did u do in some cases...
    im so close to my family, i love god
    and jesus and i know they love me too.
    but i just know what my family thinks about
    gay people. so ive plnned to leave home...
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 21, 2009 1:15 PM GMT

    you have to learn to think for yourself ... you must ask yourself: can I love Jesus and be who I am where I am?

    family is important but sometimes friends can become your (extended) family.
    people with whom you can share your values, joys, pains, and the like can be those who teach you the true nature of man.

    how do you leave your family? it may be tough but if you cannot imagine waking up and being happy with the image you've had to create in order to blend ... how is that a life? I'm not saying it's easy ... I'm saying that some events must be undertaken to understand more about who you are.
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    Sep 21, 2009 1:20 PM GMT
    Be christlike and leave your family.
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    Sep 21, 2009 2:00 PM GMT
    Aunque tu religion es la religion de tu familia, eso no significa que tu relaccion con Dios es lo mismo que tu relaccion con tu familia. Es otra cosa. Si sales de tu casa, Dios va contigo. Yo se que en tu cultura es muy dificil salir de la casa de tus padres sin casarse pero es lo que tienes hacer si no quieres viver una vida falsa. Pero todavia eres muy joven. No te vayas hasta estas listo. Dios te bendiga. Un abrazo muy fuerte.
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    Sep 21, 2009 2:34 PM GMT
    If your family truly loves you then you can stay and show them through example that you are not the abomination they have been made to think you are. It's also important to note that there is nothing wrong with your state of being, especially from a truly Christian perspective (read the account of David and Jonathan in the Bible). Leaving your loved ones to lead a "fully gay life", whatever that means, might ease the pressure on hiding your sexuality but, as these threads indicate, it doesn't mean you'll automatically be able to find happiness.

    In the end, all you can do is do what feels right to you. Hope any of this helps you with your decision, good luck!
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    Sep 21, 2009 3:09 PM GMT
    This is what happend to me...

    About 3 years ago on my 22nd B-day, I came out to my family, knowing full well what they believe. I grew up as a mormon, even went on a church mission. I came out to my immediate family only cause they were the only ones I cared about enough to go through some pain with. My father kicked me out of the house and I was actually shocked that he did, I just thought they were going to get real stern and be controlling for a while. After my family expressed their feelings, I told them that I loved them and would always Love them. Just lik God wants us to and that's how I was raised. Over the next year I struggled with people telling me to fogetd about my parents, just like they did to me. I kept telling people, " Why would I, a believer in God, who has taught me to Love unconditionally, turn my back on those that turned theirs on me?" I stood up for my family repeated amounts of time and am glad I did. Growing up my mother and I were very close. Best friends! When she went with my fathers decision I lost that great friendship.

    My mom and I had continued to talk over the next year and a half because I was persistant in keeping in contact with my family so they knew I was still the same person they had raised, just with a minor "label" attatched.

    I was asked by my mom to go to dinner a couple of days before my B-day to talk about somethings, just like any other friday lunch or dinner that we would arrange every month or so. What I didnt realize was the event that would take place that night!

    I was to meet her at one of my favorite restraunts, Kyoto's, a Japanese Restraunt! Unknowingly to me I look over at a table and who do I see, My entire family.. my heart was pounding so fast I couldnt even walk, was this good or bad, I dont know but I was going to stand up for myself if needs be.

    My father and mother expressed that they missed having me around. They missed my personality and constant Happiness in life. They FINALLY came around and realized I was the same person I had always been!

    I was waiting patiently for almost 3 years for this day to come, and guess what I still believe in God and I still have my family. It was a lesson for both my family and I. I learned patience and perseverance, and my family learned to Love unconditionally!

    I wouldnt trade the experience for the world.

    My advice to you is, make sure you put yourself in a happy state first.. and then make sure your family is happy, because regardless whether its family or friends that will be family to you.. You are the only one that can make you happy! You decide your feelings and emotions! Just keep showing them who you are and Love them unconditionally!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 21, 2009 3:19 PM GMT
    buddy let me save you a lot of trouble. even if you don't appreciate it now hopefully someday you will understand.

    first happiness is not something you can go out to find, you can't just go out an get it. you can't plan what will make you happy so stop worrying about it. chances are if you have the necessities for life then you will eventually find happiness at least once.

    second, your religion is a lie. jesus may have existed but everything the church has told you or your family is wrong and malicious, regardless whether it was intended to be so or not. There is no such thing as being "fully gay." Putting that in your thread title suggests to me that you are very confused. I don't know your family but I hope you get away from them ASAP. Listen to jrs1. that was good advice
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    Sep 21, 2009 5:29 PM GMT
    kingjnthn saidthis is so "a gay question" what would you u
    or what did u do in some cases...
    im so close to my family, i love god
    and jesus and i know they love me too.
    but i just know what my family thinks about
    gay people. so ive plnned to leave home...


    you do not have to choose between the two, God does not hate who you are and made you exactly as he wanted you to be. Your task is proving yourself to your family not running away. it is hard but it's what's right and worth it.
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    Sep 21, 2009 5:56 PM GMT
    I came out late in life for the same reason. I was a devout Christian and I knew my family and friends wouldn't accept me if they knew I was gay. I was married twice, and finally came out when I was 33.

    I guess I thought I had a choice, that somehow, if I tried hard enough to be who everyone wanted me to be, I would become that person.

    The Baptist kept reminding me I had to burn in hell if I was gay, and I didn't want that either.

    I finally realized that I didn't have a choice. I was gay, I had to be out and honest with the people I care about. That didn't necessarily mean having a big announcement, but it did mean living my life and coming to know myself.

    Over the course of this I became a Buddhist and came out to everyone I loved.Most of them accepted me, some haven't but I am happier, and I feel I am a better person for it.

    I honestly believe, the only life worth living is one which leads you to fully understand yourself with love and compassion. I regret not having the courage to realize this when I was younger. If you believe that there is a God, then he made you who you are. He loves you just as you are and anything or one who disagrees with this is wrong.

    Best of luck.

    Rick
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    Sep 21, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
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