Pictureless profiles

  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    May 04, 2007 5:25 PM GMT
    What do you think of picture-less profiles in today's technological wondrous age?

    I have my strong set of opinions on the subject, but to NOT bias this topic, I leave it open to discussion. I am interested in how you deal with and relate to profiles that have no pictures AND guys who IM you with pictureless profiles. And you thoughts on photo verification on this site.

    Your turn!

    daWeatherMan.
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    May 04, 2007 6:16 PM GMT
    I don't mind pictureless photos. On this site who knows whose pictures are real? Even the verified ones aren't fool proof.

    If someone IM with no profile picture then it depends on how I feel at the moment whether I'll chat to them. Quite often it's young guys who are unsure of their sexuality and I can understand why you wouldn't put up pictures.

    But, if they ask me to open my private pix then that's a different story altogether.

    There are lots of reasons why people don't put up pictures and I'm not going to sit in judgement as to why they don't have any.

    However, if they want to meet me then I need to see pictures.
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    May 04, 2007 6:26 PM GMT
    It really drives me up the frickin' wall when dudes send me a note or whatever w/ a pictureless profile. I think in this day and age if you are not showin' your face and stating your truth then your just a fuckin' PUSSY !
    I got no time for the shame club. Stand up and be a man. That is the hottest thing to me. Guys who are hiding behind walls are probably hiding a lot more then just their sexual frustration. If
    skeevy sex is what you are lookin' for - that is one thing. Mide as well keep that private. but we have the opportunity to create a really healthy and decent place for guys to connect here. that to me is what RJ is ALL about. I put my face on THAT.
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    May 04, 2007 6:37 PM GMT
    I have standing rules regarding pictureless / profileless.

    I pre-ignore pictureless where there is chat involved. I just go down the list and ignore them ahead of time.

    In my personal experience, I've found pictureless to be a problematic group at best, and mentally ill at worst.

    Pictureless usually indicates a deeper underlying mental problem: self-loathing, low-esteem, dishonest, game player, married, paranoid, religiously-conflicted, cheating, ugly, fetish, fake, liar, lazy, or not smart enough to upload a picture. ALL indicators of issues that I don't want to have to deal with. There's no reason to. There are 6.5 BILLION other folks. There's no need to put up with pictureless in this day and age.

    Almost without exception, any pictureless I've dealt with (where I've set aside my rules) has had the underlying mental issues I mention above.

    I figure anything worth doing is worth doing well, including the internet experience. If a person doesn't make at least a minimalistic effort, I don't feel they should warrant my time. Certainly not the sort of person I want in my association.

    Would I flop my pee pee out in public? Would I not smile and shake hands in public? Of course not. I believe in keeping my cyber space experience as close to real space as I can. I don't tolerate the creeps with the dick pics, torso shots, etc. As I said, with 6.5 BILLION folks in the world, there's no reason to invite that extra bullshit into my life.
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    May 04, 2007 6:42 PM GMT
    I want to add something.

    Coddling a weak part / weak person, only makes them weaker. If a person doesn't have courage you don't help them by being an enabler and allowing them to continue their bad behavior.

    If I have a bodypart that's lagging, I blast it. Then, I blast it some more.

    Coddling a weak part only makes it weaker. Setting a standard for that part, and taking it there, helps us go where we didn't think we could.

    Was I scared the first time I went on a broadcast mike? Yep. Was I scared the first time I did video shoot? Yep. Was I scared the first time I walked on a stage in less than my underwear? A little bit. You break through obstacles by going through them. You get stronger when you step up to the challenge.

    I would do the pictureless a huge disservice by being tolerant. I set the bar higher, and, if they want to be in my association, they have to step up and live in real space; walk tall and proud.
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    May 04, 2007 7:14 PM GMT
    RIGHT ON BROTHA-MAN... A good dose of TOUGH LOVE is what the matter calls for here. As my mates in OZ say: 'GOOD UN' YA !'.

    peace out now
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    May 04, 2007 8:03 PM GMT
    I have never made a post before, but now that I see the "I'm so much better than you" posts by chuckystud and caltrask2, I have to post. What a joke? Are you guys serious.

    Chucky you posted: Pictureless usually indicates a deeper underlying mental problem: self-loathing, low-esteem, dishonest, game player, married, paranoid, religiously-conflicted, cheating, ugly, fetish, fake, liar, lazy, or not smart enough to upload a picture. ALL indicators of issues that I don't want to have to deal with. There's no reason to. There are 6.5 BILLION other folks. There's no need to put up with pictureless in this day and age.

    Well Mr. Perfect, I am none of the above. Just because I don't want to plaster my face all over the internet doesn't me I have any problems. If all you care about is what a person looks like then you are nothing more than a shallow person. I personally think people deserve the benefit of the doubt. I'm glad you are so much better than everyone else that you can instantly pass judgement on people based on pictures or lack thereof. Maybe we should distribute pictures of you and caltrask2 and write a book about you two and then start a church. You could stand at the door and pass judgement on everyone and only let the perfect people in.

    So why don't you and caltrask2 get together for your mutual back patting club and don't forget to ignore everyone who doesn't meet your standards of perfection.
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    May 04, 2007 8:08 PM GMT
    I don't care if a person has a picture or not. Verified or not. No difference to me. If you don't have a picture, it's your business not mine.
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    May 04, 2007 8:43 PM GMT
    My (obviously unpopular with you) opinion:

    Simple curiosity, if you're picture-less or profile-less (fairly devoid of info), why do you have a profile?

    Would you go out to dinner with someone that had a bag over their head and only showed their cock shot?


    "Hey guys. I want you to meet SmokinHottie22. Nice cock eh? Yeah, he doesn't want to show his face or tell me his name but he's got a smoking tool right?"


    Ok, I've poked fun. I'm sorry. But there's a big chunk of truth in it.

    I've been down the picture-less profile path SO many times and finally I've decided no more of it. A lot of guys from these profiles eventually share a picture with you. With few exceptions and from about 17 years of such experience (yes, back in the BBS days); they turn out to be entirely NOT what they portray themselves as.

    SmokingHottie22's picture is from 10 years ago. Hot&HardBody isn't 25 years old, he's 52. SmoothCollegeJock is actually 13 years old TonedFootballer isn't 6'2" and 185, he's 5'7" and 215 and far from toned.

    People are always welcome to change the trend of my experience. I surely welcome honesty and lack of facade.
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    May 04, 2007 8:44 PM GMT
    LOL...

    Sounds good to me.

    btw> I only skipped to the end of what you had to say.

    Not so sorry to offend you , bro. Feelin' sorry for anyone is the worst you can do for 'em.

    peace n love to ya anyhoo...


    have you tried having a good laugh @ yourself. that might help.

    It's essential to have a sense of humor about one's self.

    Really. Try it
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    May 04, 2007 8:46 PM GMT
    Oh, I meant that for the NAMELESS - FACELESS dude, not the HOT FIREFIGHTER....

    peace
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    May 04, 2007 8:48 PM GMT
    p.s. I am well aware of people that wish to remain anonymous due to asshole employers or similar reasons. So no need to try and castrate me on that.

    Neither am I being snide with my prior comment. It does sound harsh however I am simply presenting history.

    That doesn't change the fact that there are a lot of fakes on here and other than providing eye candy they scraped from someone else's site, I think them lying is pretty hooky.

    Don't be a dishonest person. That's about as wonderful as comparing a rose to an ass-belch.
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    May 04, 2007 8:54 PM GMT
    HAHAOMGLOLLINGZ! errr, wtf? *laugh* sorry, an AOL moment crept over me. They need to make a pill for that like an anti-allergy thing.

    I agree, undue pity and unwarranted sympathy only worsens a problem such as self-esteem.

    Being fat..being ugly.. I don't give a sideways turd, I have friends of all types. Your character 'n personality are a heck of a lot more important than being Adonis.

    Someone built with a god's body but has an attitude smelling like the pungence of putrified dead animal is entirely repulsive. Even viagra wouldn't get me hot for him.

    But good character, healthy personality? I'll stick by your side for sure.
  • imaxim

    Posts: 94

    May 04, 2007 9:19 PM GMT
    A thought for the anonymous poster above:

    When was the last time you contacted someone without any photos posted?

    Of course there is more to a person than looks. However, if you contact me after you've had a chance to look at my photos and determine your initial interest, shouldn't I have that same opportunity?

    Perhaps not having your photo 'all over the internet' makes you feel secure/superior, but why demand more from those who have already taken that leap? Personally, I just find it very selfish/inconsiderate and hence a major turnoff. Not really qualities I'd look for in a friend or for anything else.

    But, if you contact other pictureless profiles, no problem. Which brings forth another question... do guys on here without photos EVER contact each other? I wonder what the response rate is like (or would be).
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    May 04, 2007 9:20 PM GMT
    Yahoo, bro !

    Right on. This is all about living in the NOW. Aint no one else gonna kick open them doors. I say if we are puttin' out, so should they. Asshole employers need good asskickings not ass lickings.

    I am all about giving AND recieving. I put my face out on the line, so should they < them that want to chat it up- bro to bro that is >
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    May 04, 2007 9:22 PM GMT
    Oh, that was meant for the HOT FIRE FIGHTER, not THE HOT DUDE LOOKIN' UP, but, yah... I concur w/ his statement too.

    peace
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    May 04, 2007 9:32 PM GMT
    Here we go again. This topic already exists somewhere else in this forum.

    I think it's okay to skip over members with no picture, it's your choice. I just don't think it's fair to pass judgement on people just because they don't post photos.

    Needing to see a picture (which could be fake) to decide wether a person is worth your time speaks volumes about what kind of person you are. I base my decision on what the people posting here have to say, not by the way they look.

    I have nothing to hide. My profile is true and being relatively new, I just haven't gotten around to posting a picture. I don't own a digital camera. Does that make me weak, fake or laking confidence? I think not.

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    May 04, 2007 9:41 PM GMT
    Nah, fuck that. Being a teacher, that is not cool for me to have my picture plastered all over the internet. I teach middle school, and the kids would love nothing more than to humiliate their teacher by pulling up the teacher's profile and showing it to their parents, the principal, the superintendent, etc.

    We already have a ban on myspace pages. If I lose my job, will you support me? If so, cool, I will upload today.

    And I am more than willing to send my pic to anyone that wants it.
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    May 04, 2007 9:57 PM GMT
    What stops that person from using your photo that you shared in private? I've seen that done a few times with some of my friends.

    I'm not being caustic, just realistic. Someone could look for a 27yr old teacher in ATL with your br/bl and body description, eliminate the married folks and come up with a fairly short list.

    My other job is network security engineering. Most people are very naive about their level of security. Their perceived notion of anonymity is far from rock clad and often is a thin thread.

    I'm not attempting to scare you, nor to push you to put a picture up.

    Perceptions are both worth their weight in gold and on the flip side, often worthless.

    But I do wish you the best of luck regardless.
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    May 04, 2007 10:05 PM GMT
    I'd rather someone NOT post a picture than post a picture of someone else. Check out gay.com - about 1/4 of the pics in those profiles are of models and pornstars taken off the internet.

    If someone doesn't post a pic his decision should be respected. I wouldn't automatically assume they're mentally off or anything. Crazy people know how to post pics as well.

    Not all of us live in areas where being out is OK. Where I live (Cincinnati) there is still a lot of homophobia out there.

    And if you won't respond back to am IM or email because they don't have a pic, that's fine as well - your choice.

    I'll get off my soapbox now....
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    May 04, 2007 10:22 PM GMT
    I do respect a person's decision to not post a photo. But I do very naturally gravitate to profiles of guys that are hot and guys that have something [smart] to say in their profile.

    :)
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    May 04, 2007 10:28 PM GMT
    I've long noticed that guys without profile pictures always have the hottest stats, including the biggest dicks. If only we could all be pictureless, this world would be much prettier and much better hung.

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    May 04, 2007 11:51 PM GMT
    LOL ....
    'myspace ban' thing for that poor teacher and all, doesn't that infringe apon basic human rights, freedom of speach and all that ? If Demi Moore can appear on any magazine she wants completely naked and talk about absolutely NOTHING important, why should't we be able to plaster our faces where ever the hell we want and apply the message of truth, love and EQUALITY. I'm all for the every man, and YO DUDES ! The verification system here is FOR REAL. So once again, stop being such girls and get with the program.
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    May 05, 2007 12:09 AM GMT
    If they are willing to fire you over a 'myspace' page, why wouldn't they fire you over a gay fitness community profile? And I know that the level of anonymity is only thread thin.

    Not to mention I really don't want to be on the news for some dumbass kid saying I molested him, and parents, etc. taking his side because I'm gay. You really have to think about that kind of shit.

    And the faux sympathy is sweet, Cal, especially since I don't need or desire that shiznit from you. But thanks anyway.
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    May 05, 2007 12:10 AM GMT
    Balljunkie I totally agree with you... by putting your pic here your are opening yourself up to a whole lot of problems that are best avoided... on the other hand, it's the old adagio... damned if you do, damned if you don't.
    Either way, to post or not to post a pic is a personal decision... but to go as far as to say that because we don't have one posted we are this or that, at that point you're crossing a line, and passing judgement on the people of this great community without knowing them it's just not fair.
    In the end, can we not just all get along and wish for world peace? ;)