A woman with a confused gay friend? advice please

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2009 5:39 PM GMT
    Sorry don't know where to put this. I am new to all this but I am confused about my long time gay male friend. I am bisexual myself and many years ago I took him to his first gay clubs, he would kiss men whilst I was with my girlfriend who he did not like at the time. He would say he was 70/30 for women etc.
    He went to some of these guys houses and wouldn't have sex with them apparently he wasn't gay enough they would say to my girlfriend?
    I have always liked him but wasn't that into him romantically, however, years ago we had a few drink and I kissed him, he kissed me back and out my hands on his cock and yes it was very hard, he tried to touch me down there but I moved his hand. He asked if I was over 'rachael' and I said yes, I wasn't and he said his head was spinning from kissing me'
    Anyway, a week later we go out and I kiss someone else let him know we are still friends but that is all I want. I went out with my girl for years after that and he didn't like her, he stopped talking to me he turned weird.
    Anyway, 1 year later he comes out as totally gay and I am happy for him and celebrate. However, he still checks me out, I hugged him as a friend and as you do when you are out and he said rather rudely,' I am not hard. He has boyfriends and I met one who constantly complained about my friend, lack of sex life, how weird he is and how closet he is. My friend was saying 'fucking women' in a rather horrible when we were out. Not like him at all. Also, my friend told me that he doesn't like giving BJ or anal much. A man should be a man and passive men aren't much.???? Personally i disagree.
    Anyway they split up and he kisses my female friend on nights out and she asks him what he is 'he says confused as he didn't have feelings before the age of 19 to men and that he is bisexual and confused. However, with me he is totally gay even though he always points out gorgeous women and rates them out of 10.
    A few weeks ago we go out to a club and I kiss a younger man and we feel each other up etc and he gets quite angry and says' I should look for an older man and that he wasn't right for me' he kisses my friend again and she noticed that he only does it when I started kissing this other guy.
    We went away and I was eyeing up cute guys and sometimes he would play ball other times he would get little miffed and say I lookm for perfection and it is all about the sex with me. All is ok when he gets sexual.
    A few years ago he would put his hand on my bum and say 'you are mine'.
    I do like him but respect his homosexuality and since he never admits to me what he is. I came out as bisexual myself after being straight and a lesbian and realised I liked both. When we are out he sometimes tries to get close to me and touch my bum and stroke my arm, that kind of thing.
    I believe he is homosexual like he says but every now and again he does these things and I don't like his jealousy sometimes with other guys. They are not even guys he fancies.
    His ex said once if he weren't gay he would love me lots and cared more about me than him.
    I am starting to have feelings for him on an emotional leve more than anything else.
    the funniest thing ever was when his boyfriend told me 'he got him to shave his ass smooth, this was a day after I said men ride me and touch my smooth arse and our other friend who is straight but open minded said' I would never shag a hairy man arse' next day my friend told his friend to shave his arse and he did too. I am so confused about his way of thinking.
    fast forward two months on and I am seeing someone new he suddenly tells me he is seeing someone new. When I ended my relationship a few months, he did the same 2-3 weeks later!!
    I can't stand him copying me. My friends have noticed. I have other gay friends and I talk openly about sex etc when I was having a laugh with him, he suddenly goes really mad and his face is furious!!

    Now I have a boyfriend and we are getting serious, the other day he asked my friend if it is love? she said no not yet of course!!

    Also, he said he was sexually frustrated!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 12:04 AM GMT
    Point is?

    The guy just seems difficult to deal with all around.
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    Sep 22, 2009 1:51 AM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 2:05 AM GMT
    Well? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 3:25 AM GMT
    your friend has a thing for you. enough said. you are going to have a choice to make... either 1.)deal with it and let him be the one to get over it; 2.) confront him about it and tell him to get over it that you both are just friends and nothing more and what happened that time you were both drunk was just that. Leave it at that and move on for the sake of your friendship; 3.) sit him down and end everything with him for the sake of your own happiness 4.) depending on how you feel, give the guy the chance it seems he has been waiting for

    from the sound of it though... option 4 is out of the question for you. hope this helps.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 4:51 PM GMT
    You, The grl. The guy, The grl. The grl, You and the guy. Random people at clubs.....HUH?
  • scrumrob

    Posts: 92

    Sep 22, 2009 5:11 PM GMT
    Both of you seem rather confused. From your account, he also comes across as a control freak. If that is true, you will be miserable in the relationship. Controlling people make the worst relationship partners because of their suffocating insecurity and their self-centered nature. It is always about them and their feelings and needs.