Anyone have problems trying to find someone for just friends only?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2009 9:49 PM GMT
    I was curious to know if anyone has been having troubles trying to find other people that are just looking for just friends nothing more?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    Sometimes.

    I think it is almost as hard to find good friends as it is to find a good partner.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 12:18 AM GMT
    yah i know what you mean, i wish there was an easier way to figure out or to see right through people
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    Sep 22, 2009 4:57 AM GMT

    I think the only way to figure out a guy's intentions is to keep chatting them up - on here, you can usually figure it out in a few messages. Or, why not take it to the next step and meet them to hang-out? Just make sure to specify that you're really interested in making some new friends. If they decide to overstep that little detail when you meet, just tell them it's not an option.

    Sometimes it requires a little sifting and digging, but there are definitely more than a few guys also only looking for friendships.
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    Sep 22, 2009 6:01 AM GMT
    yep, real friends online are hard to come by!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 6:08 AM GMT
    AC_MK, friendship is all I really hope for when I come to this site. Wanna be my friend icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 22, 2009 6:34 AM GMT
    All the time. Sometimes I think I should be more tolerant, but maybe I'm just unique?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 8:43 AM GMT
    Hey ...!
    Looking for someone new is a bit hard task, But you have selected right place to find your friend . In fact i found a good friend here..So you can also expect !! it may take some time...
    Best wishes....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 10:24 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]brandohsaurus said[/cite]Sometimes.

    I think it is almost as hard to find good friends as it is to find a good partner.[/quote

    I totally agree. No real friends here at all or a man for that matter.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 22, 2009 5:49 PM GMT

    I've made some amazing friends on here and some're coming to visit!
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    Sep 22, 2009 5:54 PM GMT
    wow I didnt think so much people were having this problem its good to know that Im not the only one having trouble. I tend to be really shy but open up later, but I feel like sometimes if i say something it isnt the right time or thing so then i feel dumb for doing so.
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    Sep 22, 2009 6:26 PM GMT
    I think the easiest time to make friends is when you're starting a new school, your first year of high school, or your first year in college. Especially in college being away from home for the first time, everyone's of in the same boat, and it's not quite as cut throat. Once you get out of those environments everyone has their social circles established, and it's hard to get in if you don't dress, look, act, or think a certain way. Especially with gay people.

    Find something that's social where the group focus doesn't revolve around social pressures and you'll make friendly acquaintances. If you're lucky one or two people might become a true friend.

  • fitnfunmich

    Posts: 181

    Sep 22, 2009 6:33 PM GMT
    Relationships of any kind (whether friendship or love) are like the wind: you can't really go looking for them. They just tend to "happen."

    So my advice is to always be open to what the world presents, and always be yourself. Get out there so you can meet people, and be sure to focus on THEM. (Major irritation for me when I meet someone for the first time and all they want to talk about is themselves. If they never ask me any questions about me then I write them off as potential friendship material. Do NOT be one of those guys!)

    If your phone rings, pick up. If someone knocks on your door, open it. If you get an email, return it. Give a little and take a little, and see where it will lead. Oh and have fun along the way. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 6:33 PM GMT
    Gosh, yer cute, AC! I'll be your friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 6:45 PM GMT
    "Anyone have problems trying to find someone for just friends only? "

    -redundant
  • shirty

    Posts: 290

    Sep 22, 2009 7:20 PM GMT
    jrunner25 said"Anyone have problems trying to find someone for just friends only? "

    -redundant

    You never have anything nice to say.
    -----------------------------------------
    AC - As has already been mentioned here, it can be really hard to make friends. Maybe try not focusing on making friends, but on meeting new people. Have less expectations so you don't feel like you've messed something up. People will come and go through your life... sometimes more frequently, sometimes less.

    On the other hand, if it's a matter of meeting people who only seem to want more than friendship, I guess you just have to be upfront and hope they understand. It's not always easy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 8:01 PM GMT
    For me it was always the opposite. The response used to always be "just friends" when I'd already had enough 'friends'.
    Of course I later realized that they didn't even want that. It's really just a way of softening the actual underlying request of "How about just vague acquaintances."

    It's a moot point for me now, but I supposed it's no less frustrating than being on your [AC_MK] side of the dialog.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2009 9:06 PM GMT
    shirtyAC - As has already been mentioned here, it can be really hard to make friends. Maybe try not focusing on making friends, but on meeting new people. Have less expectations so you don't feel like you've messed something up. People will come and go through your life... sometimes more frequently, sometimes less.

    On the other hand, if it's a matter of meeting people who only seem to want more than friendship, I guess you just have to be upfront and hope they understand. It's not always easy!


    Yeah im starting to realize not to put so much effort into making friends, the funny thing is that I have stated what I am looking for to people and they either pretend they are looking for the same thing but have hidden agendas...then what do you do ?

    Thanks to everyone with the positive feedback though, keep it coming.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2009 1:33 PM GMT

    Hey AC_MK, Welcome to Realjock!

    So how about filling up that profile with some of the things that interest you? Tell us about yourself - and your partner!

    Pleased to meet you, by the way, I'm Doug (with the black hat) and this is Bill (with the puppy on his shoulder).







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    Sep 24, 2009 4:11 AM GMT
    Justmi said[quote][cite]brandohsaurus said[/cite]Sometimes.

    I think it is almost as hard to find good friends as it is to find a good partner.[/quote

    I totally agree. No real friends here at all or a man for that matter.


    I have plenty of good friends and a guy, but they all have their flaws and you have to work with them all just the same. I'm just glad that they see something in me worthwhile or I'd be extremely lonely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2009 3:01 PM GMT
    Its way easier now that I'm in a relationship.

    But back when I was single it was so hard. I had a very vague line between friendship and pleasure and actually enjoyed sleeping with many of my friends unfortunately.

    It never ruined our friendship, but then friends don't fuck each other either lol.

    So yeah I can imagine how hard it is for you to find people who can enjoy your personality without eventually becomming physically or emotionally attracted to you.

    The bf sticker helps alot. Its like I have a boyfriend and I don't cheat. And suddenly all those people looking have sex, well most of them, don't even bother.

    Where it does get harder, however, is that I realize that sexual tension has been a strong factor in my friendships until now. I realized many of my straight friends were men I thought were hot, many of my gay/bi friends were men who found me hot.

    So now without that sex factor, i kind of find myself re-evaluating many of the bonds I have formed until now and sorting out the people that I truly click with who are real, true friends from the ones that were just a nice piece of potential meat.