Do you trust your date?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2009 9:34 AM GMT
    http://tech.yahoo.com/news/afp/20090923/tc_afp/lifestyleusitinternetappleintelius

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    I think this is just a bit messed up. I understand the reasoning. But if you feel you have to do a background check on your first/second date. Dont do it. Ask. If you still don't feel comfortable, then check. Give a person the chance to tell the truth. lol
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Sep 24, 2009 10:07 AM GMT
    I agree. Why waste time doing a background check. You have to trust your partner and starting a relationship with a back-ground check gets off on a bad footing.

    Doing a background check after a first or sceond date says more about you than it does about the guy you're doing the check on.

    Loz
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    Sep 24, 2009 11:54 AM GMT
    i thnk thats why its best to meet people through friends and relatives. I cant just seem to meet a random stranger and when I do... that never works well lol. I learned my lesson once already.
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    Sep 24, 2009 11:59 AM GMT
    I wouldn't do it - I'd prefer to suss out a liar the old fashioned way - but I can see where people who've been damaged by dating disasters might find this comforting. Sad this is, a criminal record doesn't make someone a jerk, same as not having a criminal record doesn't make someone a prince. When they invent a assholesuperjerk-o-meter, let me know.
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    Sep 24, 2009 12:42 PM GMT
    Going out with someone isn't like giving them your PIN number. Your ordinary people skills should be enough to detect whatever BS may come your way.
    You'd hardly need a background check to cope with dinner and a movie.
  • dantoujours

    Posts: 378

    Sep 24, 2009 12:55 PM GMT
    Doing a background check gives a false sense of security. All that will show is that someone hasn't been convicted of a crime or defaulted on their debts. It isn't going to ensure that your date isn't going to treat you badly, hurt you, steal from you or spread false rumours.

    Part of developing mature relationships with people is dealing with those who are going to hurt you in some way. Personal growth involves some risk.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 24, 2009 1:03 PM GMT
    I make a mistake of trusting my date , a guy I know for about 3 years. (please look at my thread on Betrayed). I come to his town, we promise to go for a walk by the beach after dinner, and he gonna spend a night with me. What did he do....stole my wallet and cellphone after he told me to take a shower.

    Dont trust a date. Hide your wallet, keep an eyes on personal belonging.
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    Sep 24, 2009 1:15 PM GMT
    Let me put it to you this way...
    If I found out that my date had done a background check on me, I wouldn't trust HIM!
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    Sep 24, 2009 1:20 PM GMT
    I went on a date with a guy that works for my cell providor and he pulled my call records and customer information, and he was surprised when I broke it off icon_rolleyes.gif

    In fact he dosen't even work for them.....he was contracter hired by a firm they outsourced to. I shows how quickly even large multinationals with strict policies are essentially useless

    I wouldn't date someone that made a dating decison based on my net worth and how many Sq feet my house is so maybe they are doing me a favor too.

    Eventually they'll probably be able to pull my medical records, what magazines I subscribe too, how many times I went to the gym last month, what I bought at the grocery store and the last DVD I rented.

    I know it's kind of paranoia and irrational but I can't help but feel concerned by this type of thing

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    Sep 24, 2009 4:03 PM GMT
    The street boys I used to pick up I "hug" them first to make sure they didn't have any weapons on them... This way I feel better about bringing them to my place. I believe I have lost a passport (in the US, so it wasn't an immediate problem) to a date like this.
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    Sep 24, 2009 4:07 PM GMT


    lol, well check this out - go forward to 1:10 into the vid and watch.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2009 4:21 PM GMT
    zakariahzol saidWhat did he do....stole my wallet and cellphone after he told me to take a shower.


    This is why we shower together.

    that and we lather each other from head to toe
    rub our wet slippery flesh against each other
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    Sep 24, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
    It was obvious that this guy was a LOSER when he used the term Sizzle or fizzle in regards to his potential mate and the longevity of what could be a relationship.
  • cowboyathlete

    Posts: 1346

    Sep 24, 2009 4:39 PM GMT
    If you actually think you have a right to do a background check on your date, then you should fully expect that THEY have a right to do one on YOU!!!!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 24, 2009 4:40 PM GMT
    A little over the top to say the least. If I ever had someone who wanted to use that on me, I'd probably end the date.

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    Sep 24, 2009 4:45 PM GMT
    So what do these people do on the third date? Do they say "Congratulations, you passed the background check"? I just wonder because if they did not disclose the fact that they background checked you, would they not be guilty of secretive and deceitful behavior themselves?
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    Sep 24, 2009 5:31 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    GuerrillaSodomite saidSo what do these people do on the third date? Do they say "Congratulations, you passed the background check"? I just wonder because if they did not disclose the fact that they background checked you, would they not be guilty of secretive and deceitful behavior themselves?

    OMG! It's totally like that Sex and the City eppy where Carrie meets this like completely awesome guy, you know? And she goes snooping around and getting up in his business? So she finds out he's like totally clean and all, but he catches her in the act? And now he dumps HER because she's like completely a freak?


    I'll have to take your word for it. I've only seen a couple episodes and that was not one of them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2009 5:57 PM GMT
    Yeah, this app is just being lazy. If you're really interested in a person (either a date or a new friend), you ask questions and get to know them better. If what they tell you sounds like bullshit or something doesn't sound right, you casually focus your questions on those things. If they continue to feed you bullshit or try to dodge the questions, then it's time to say goodbye.
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    Sep 24, 2009 6:18 PM GMT
    I had an ex who tried investigating my family trust. He even made some phone calls, curiously trying to determine just exactly how much $ there might be. When the co-trustees alerted me about the snooping - - - - well, let's just say.......that's the day he became an "ex".