my friend just diagonosed with HIV+

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2009 12:36 PM GMT
    allo
    a bit of a scary thing, my very close friend got a call from the melbourne clinic advising him that someone he slept with has been diagnosed with HIV+ and that he should get tested..

    well he got the first blood test back yesterday and its positive. eeeek!
    scary scary shit.

    i must admit i dont know much about this disease, and im wondering if some one can point in the right direction for some good sites etc so i can learn.

    we are waiting back for the second test in about 6 days time to see what his white blood count is like to see if he has to take medication or not.

    i wanna be his close friend still, but because of my ignorance to this terminal disease i don know whats safe etc
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    Sep 24, 2009 1:22 PM GMT
    Here is what the US Centers for Disease Control (CDC) say about HIV transmission:

    http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/transmission.htm

    Here is an A to Z index of HIV topics from the CDC. You can also navigate further to discover more HIV information from them:

    http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/az.htm

    Your friend is not contagious in the same sense that one passes a common cold or the flu. I lived with an HIV poz partner for several years and had regular sex with him, as his bottom, and did oral. We practiced safe sex and I remain neg.

    Stick by your friend, and give him all the support you can, he needs it most now. But don't treat him like a terminal case. With early detection and close monitoring, he can have an excellent long-term prognosis. I'm glad you shared this with us, and good luck to both of you.
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    Sep 24, 2009 4:22 PM GMT
    For the most part it's safe to be his friend. support is what he'll need.
    God bless bro, both you and him!
  • Fusion98102

    Posts: 164

    Sep 24, 2009 4:26 PM GMT
    Another good one for you or your friend is http://www.thebody.com - one of my friends is going through the same thing and the most important thing for us to do as friends is be there for them! Learn what you can and help him understand and cope. It is a hard transition to make for him. Best of luck!
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    Sep 24, 2009 4:44 PM GMT
    Walk on in to the Victorian AIDS Council/ Gay Man's Health Centre. They do education on various STIs and will tell you it is perfectly okay to be his friend.
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    Sep 24, 2009 4:53 PM GMT
    http://poz.com also has a wealth of information

    http://positivelyaware.com/ is okay too
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    Oct 05, 2009 12:53 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear about your friend. But it's not the end of the world for him.

    I was devistated when I found out that I was Positive. What was more disturbing than discovering that I had a death sentence hanging over my head....was the awful feeling of being all alone, and not knowing who to turn to.

    He needs his friend more than ever

    That was then...but now...I can actually find the positive (no pun intended) in the fact that I am positive. I have a whole new outlook on life. I appreciate the little stuff that most people take for granted. Everything from the smell of freshly cut grass, or a rainy day, to friends, family, and relationships in general. All the wordly, materialistic junk has lost its appeal.

    And with modern medical advances, there is plenty of hope. Like my doctor says..."just take your meds, and die of a heart attack when you're 70 like everyone else".

    Most important is a close friend, someone to turn to.

    God bless you both.
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    Oct 05, 2009 1:18 AM GMT
    http://www.vicaids.asn.au/content/default.asp

    The website for Victorian AIDS Council/Gay Men's Health Clinic. If they as good at the NSW equivalent (ACON) then they should be a good resource for knowledge and support services etc.
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    Oct 05, 2009 6:03 PM GMT
    what type of unsafe sex did your firend have as i read cases where you can catch it by unsafe oral sex.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Oct 05, 2009 6:10 PM GMT
    Hillie saidFor the most part it's safe to be his friend. support is what he'll need.
    God bless bro, both you and him!


    I agree completely, this will be challenging for him emotionally and you being there for him will definitely make a difference, I commend you for wanting to that as well.
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    Oct 05, 2009 6:25 PM GMT
    What kind of sexual activities did your friend have with that person and what kind of protection did they use (or not use)?

    I'm just curious since it would be heartbreaking if he got it despite using all the recommended precautions (ie condoms).
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    Oct 05, 2009 6:35 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry to hear about your friend... but equally shocking, sad, and terrifying is the concept that anyone "doesn't know much about this disease". This is not said out of arrogance, but genuine shock.

    Am I missing something?? It's 2009. We all have internet access (here) and we're all (or mostly) sexually active and know how to read.

    I don't get it. What's the excuse for ANYONE in this day and age not to have researched and had access to TONS of info on this syndrome, it's history, and it's potential vectors?

    If one is SEXUAL and cares about one's health - not to mention that of the entire community - how could one not know 'much' about HIV/AIDS??

    I would truly like to know why this would be the case for you... or for anyone.

    Do your best to support your friend - lovingly and honestly... by all means - but for god's sakes - educate the hell out of yourself (and others!!). I don't mean to make you panic - but I DO mean to wake you up!

    What you have revealed is disturbing to my core. Am I the only person that feels this way on here?
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    Oct 07, 2009 2:56 AM GMT
    res_ident saidI'm very sorry to hear about your friend... but equally shocking, sad, and terrifying is the concept that anyone "doesn't know much about this disease". This is not said out of arrogance, but genuine shock.

    Am I missing something?? It's 2009. We all have internet access (here) and we're all (or mostly) sexually active and know how to read.

    I don't get it. What's the excuse for ANYONE in this day and age not to have researched and had access to TONS of info on this syndrome, it's history, and it's potential vectors?

    If one is SEXUAL and cares about one's health - not to mention that of the entire community - how could one not know 'much' about HIV/AIDS??

    I would truly like to know why this would be the case for you... or for anyone.

    Do your best to support your friend - lovingly and honestly... by all means - but for god's sakes - educate the hell out of yourself (and others!!). I don't mean to make you panic - but I DO mean to wake you up!

    What you have revealed is disturbing to my core. Am I the only person that feels this way on here?


    THANK YOU!!

    I have lived my life as a typical "straight" married, father, and only recently, started to explore the "gay" "lifestyle".

    Utterly amazed at the lack of knowledge about a disease so close to home in the "gay community".


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    Apr 01, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    the most you can do is be there for him. i honestly wish him the best of luck.
  • jessetriguy

    Posts: 339

    Apr 01, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    The best treatment is a supportive group of friends and family. Believe me I know. Don't be scarred to be his friend, He needs you more now than ever. It's takes a while to accept an adjust. Also, listen to his doctor and live a healthy long life. Your friend will be just fine. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 01, 2011 3:23 PM GMT
    I provide pro bono legal services to people with HIV or full-blown AIDS, and I can tell you affirmatively that you will not catch the virus through casual contact. I shake their hands, I hug them, I talk to them in close proximity, etc.--and I've never been afraid to be in close contact with any of them. Many of them have no social support, and some have been abandoned by their friends and families when they needed them the most. Don't abandon your friend. Love him more than ever before because this is the time to show him your love and support. Also, remind him to read up on legal issues that might be of interest to him--e.g., wills, powers of attorney, medical directives, etc. There are many lawyers who provide free legal assistance to HIV+ and AIDs sufferers--he should talk to one in his area. Good luck.
  • rikwik

    Posts: 3

    Apr 01, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    manboynyc saidI'm very sorry to hear about your friend... but equally shocking, sad, and terrifying is the concept that anyone "doesn't know much about this disease". This is not said out of arrogance, but genuine shock.

    Am I missing something?? It's 2009. We all have internet access (here) and we're all (or mostly) sexually active and know how to read.

    I don't get it. What's the excuse for ANYONE in this day and age not to have researched and had access to TONS of info on this syndrome, it's history, and it's potential vectors?

    If one is SEXUAL and cares about one's health - not to mention that of the entire community - how could one not know 'much' about HIV/AIDS??

    I would truly like to know why this would be the case for you... or for anyone.

    Do your best to support your friend - lovingly and honestly... by all means - but for god's sakes - educate the hell out of yourself (and others!!). I don't mean to make you panic - but I DO mean to wake you up!

    What you have revealed is disturbing to my core. Am I the only person that feels this way on here?


    agreed agreed and agreed dear.........

    hey dont lose hopes..........coz u r the one to build them for him...
    nd yes educate urself well cuz u may b a guide for him
    i wish u all best luck ................ he must b so lucky to have u than .......go on dude..
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Apr 01, 2011 4:06 PM GMT
    tereseus1 saidwhat type of unsafe sex did your firend have as i read cases where you can catch it by unsafe oral sex.


    My doctor has mentioned that in order to have a mesurable chance of catching HIV through oral sex, you'd pretty much need to drink a gallon of cum. It also depends on wether or not you have leasions in your mouth (since those would give better access to your blood stream)
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Apr 01, 2011 4:27 PM GMT
    Fusion98102 saidAnother good one for you or your friend is http://www.thebody.com - one of my friends is going through the same thing and the most important thing for us to do as friends is be there for them! Learn what you can and help him understand and cope. It is a hard transition to make for him. Best of luck!


    yeah the thebody.com is great
    ALSO, he needs you right now and dont de-friend him thats the last thing you can/should do.