6 reasons not to mess with children:

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    Dec 12, 2007 6:28 PM GMT
    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
    The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
    The teacher asked , " What if Jonah went to hell?"
    The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."



    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
    As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
    The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
    The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."



    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
    After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shalt not kill."



    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
    "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael; he's a doctor."
    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."



    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
    "Yes," the class said.
    "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
    A little fellow shouted,
    "Cause your feet ain't empty."



    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray:
    "Take only ONE. God is watching."
    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
    A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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    Dec 12, 2007 6:37 PM GMT

    That's cute LOL.. it's always hard to discuss religioun with children , they always want to know more .. and have a huge imagination icon_lol.gif .. hmm .. do you have a copy of that girl's drawing ? we all want to know! icon_rolleyes.gif lolz
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    Dec 12, 2007 9:06 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    Thanks I needed that!
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    Dec 13, 2007 2:35 AM GMT
    that was adorable...thanx alot Tiggericon_razz.gif
  • Squarejaw

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    Dec 13, 2007 2:56 AM GMT
  • Artesin

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    Dec 13, 2007 8:34 AM GMT
    Ahaha the jonah one was amazing.
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    Dec 13, 2007 10:09 AM GMT
    very funny tigger. thank you for that. just goes to show how problematic it is teaching children patronising confusing nonsense when they are capable of handling so much more.
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    Dec 15, 2007 3:56 PM GMT
    Very funny...I can see kids actually saying some of that stuff...they do come up with very logical statements to life's confusing situations.
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    Dec 15, 2007 5:08 PM GMT
    kids say the darndest things.... Squarejaw, I love that video!
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    Dec 15, 2007 6:59 PM GMT
    Six Reasons Not To Mess With Children:

    1) They are often sticky.
    2) They dress oddly.
    3) They do not want to have a conversation with you about how you're getting screwed at the office.
    4) They press their ears to devices that emit odd sounds they call "music" and you call "shut off that goddamned noise"
    5) They usually do not have enough money to buy you a drink.
    6) They ask inconvenient questions. ("Uncle Bob, Dad says you're a tightwad...what does that mean?")

    Six Reasons To Love The Little Slobberers

    1) They see the world in interesting ways. ("You know, Dad, if I were a bug you'd be a giant.")
    2) They give good hugs, sometimes even when they're being annoying adolescents.
    3) They keep you from turning into a dinosaur. {"Dad, listen to this--the new CD from Dead Babies On Toothpicks! It's awesome!")
    4) They make all the same mistakes you did, which permits you to feel smug.
    5) They sometimes do something totally unexpected which makes you proud as hell.
    6) Like it or not, they eventually turn into you.
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    Dec 15, 2007 7:01 PM GMT
    jprichva, you're the best.