"Looking for a masculine guy"? Hmmm...

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    Sep 26, 2009 7:24 AM GMT
    Whenever I see the "guys I'd like to meet" section in a profile, the term "masculine" is used so profoundly. I mean, I do consider myself a jock however I don't believe I'm the "straight acting" tool bag most guys would like to meet on this site. What gives? Just because your "straight acting" does that make you better than me? Just makes me shake my head and laugh...

    Someone enlighten me with this please...
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    Sep 26, 2009 7:35 AM GMT
    There have been so many threads on this topic. Just type in masculine in search under threads, 83 will come up dealing with this same topic.
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    Sep 26, 2009 9:27 AM GMT
    ..."profoundly"...?
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    Sep 26, 2009 1:42 PM GMT
    Most people will say "I have no problem with blah blah but I just want to meet a masculine guy". Masculine doesn't necessarily mean douche bag. You can be masculine in all sorts of ways. Plus, I think it's usually people who are relatively new to being gay (like me) and they are freaked out about everything. I like to cut people a little bit of slack.

    However, yes, some people are irritating.
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    Sep 26, 2009 2:08 PM GMT
    Or, or, and this is more likely, they're simply indicating their preference for other guys who aren't gay acting.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Sep 26, 2009 3:34 PM GMT
    RyanReBoRn saidOr, or, and this is more likely, they're simply indicating their preference for other guys who aren't gay acting.


    Regardless, they're gonna look pretty damn gay when my dick is in their mouth.

    The truth of the matter is that it stems from homophobia. When I see "masculine only" in someone's profile, it's a big red flag. It's fine to be masculine, it's fine to be feminine and it's fine to be in between. I don't know where I identify (depends on who you ask) and usually anyone I would want to date wouldn't have that as a major identity. Just be yourself.
  • JP85257

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    Sep 26, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    I prefer someone who is naturally masculine than some ass bag that is "straight acting." Why would you want to "act straight?"
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    Sep 26, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    RyanReBoRn saidOr, or, and this is more likely, they're simply indicating their preference for other guys who aren't gay acting.


    (bangs head against wall... BTW your head not mine)


    The problem with this whole debate is the baggage involved in the terms "straight acting" and "gay acting". haven´t you understood that yet icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 26, 2009 3:39 PM GMT
    im not straight acting because i dont act...
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    Sep 26, 2009 3:49 PM GMT
    What about affected speech habits? In my area plenty of straight guys do this and girls are drawn to that. As you know straight women are drawn to guys that talk like them. I think it indicates insecurity, or lack of confidence. You don't go into business negotiations talking like that. Anyhow, I don't find this speech habit attractive at all in a guy. When I'm around guys or gals who talk like that I always worry that they could be passive-aggressive and saying something negative (either self-pity or blaming other people) in disguise.
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    Sep 26, 2009 3:54 PM GMT
    During my coming out process I came to the realization that the guys who are "straight acting" are usually the guys people assume are gay.
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    Sep 26, 2009 4:01 PM GMT
    I love men and I would like to find a big black boy who would really look after me.icon_razz.gificon_razz.gif
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    Sep 26, 2009 4:36 PM GMT
    Jemark saidI love men and I would like to find a big black boy who would really look after me.icon_razz.gificon_razz.gif


    Holy non-sequitor, Batman.
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    Sep 26, 2009 4:45 PM GMT
    I dont care how straight acting or "masculine" any gay guy says he is... the woman in all of them comes out and snaps her finger at the right moment. Someone once told me that my masculinity didnt go with my flamboyancy and that we couldn't date... funny that it took them 4yrs to tell me this. i pointed out to him... aight I might be a bit of a fashionista and can flame out a little more often than he does but only because I am comfortable with myself and with him. He wont even so much as kill a bug while I have no problem giving a car a tune up, getting my hands dirty, cut whatever to get something done. he grew pissed at this but its funny because now he realizes I am exactly what he wants and he was stupid... I think we all want our guy to act like a be a guy but its okay at a certian time and place to let loose.
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    Sep 26, 2009 5:18 PM GMT
    Ryan_Andrew saidI dont care how straight acting or "masculine" any gay guy says he is... the woman in all of them comes out and snaps her finger at the right moment. ... I think we all want our guy to act like a be a guy but its okay at a certian time and place to let loose.

    How wise you are, IMHO! I wonder if being gay isn't all about options: we can be anything we want.

    I can be so butch I make Georgia Bubbas jealous. Yet I can dress up in drag and cavort all over a stage. So can lots of masculine gay guys I know.

    I HATE labels & stereotypes. I do what I choose, and for myself I am always a man, never a faux woman, but I still do a bit a silly dress-up for a giggle. I know gay effeminate men, who revel in drag, and they are also my friends.

    The damn thing is, I love PEOPLE, in every shape & form. I love women, I love men, I love every variation there is (except for psychotic criminal types).

    My partner is the same way, and our friends include straights, and lesbians, and gays, and bi's, and everyone. Last night we went to the opening of a tiny little cafe owned by a lesbian couple, and we had a $100+ custom-made floral arrangement delivered a few hours before we arrived.

    Why not? They are family, and we wish them the best. They tried to give us our meal for free, and we refused. We have more money than we know what to do with, and they are just starting out, so we insisted on a proper check.

    This is what our gay community is all about here, we are not exceptional or praiseworthy. My hope is that some day enclaves like ours will exist all over the US, and maybe beyond our shores. And then all of us can "let loose" when we wish. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 26, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    Ryan_Andrew saidI dont care how straight acting or "masculine" any gay guy says he is... the woman in all of them comes out and snaps her finger at the right moment. ... I think we all want our guy to act like a be a guy but its okay at a certian time and place to let loose.

    How wise you are, IMHO! I wonder if being gay isn't all about options: we can be anything we want.

    I can be so butch I make Georgia Bubbas jealous. Yet I can dress up in drag and cavort all over a stage. So can lots of masculine gay guys I know.

    I HATE labels & stereotypes. I do what I choose, and for myself I am always a man, never a faux woman, but I still do a bit a silly dress-up for a giggle. I know gay effeminate men, who revel in drag, and they are also my friends.

    The damn thing is, I love PEOPLE, in every shape & form. I love women, I love men, I love every variation there is (except for psychotic criminal types).

    My partner is the same way, and our friends include straights, and lesbians, and gays, and bi's, and everyone. Last night we went to the opening of a tiny little cafe owned by a lesbian couple, and we had a $100+ custom-made floral arrangement delivered a few hours before we arrived.

    Why not? They are family, and we wish them the best. They tried to give us our meal for free, and we refused. We have more money than we know what to do with, and they are just starting out, so we insisted on a proper check.



    This is what our gay community is all about here, we are not exceptional or praiseworthy. My hope is that some day enclaves like ours will exist all over the US, and maybe beyond our shores. And then all of us can "let loose" when we wish. icon_biggrin.gif




    I AGREE 1000000%
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    Sep 26, 2009 5:42 PM GMT
    Whats so hard to understand? The guy is attracted to another guy that isnt feminine. I feel the same way. Not all "masculine" dudes are tool bags.
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    Sep 26, 2009 5:43 PM GMT
    well... maybe it's just the way they like it, what's wrong with saying it icon_smile.gif
    Yes, I know it can feel bad when you are not the alpha-masculine-macho-type, but so what? Nobody said YOU have to be the guy for him.

    Me... I can't say I'm feminine and I am definitely not the "masculine" they want. I guess I'm just normal icon_smile.gif And I have to admit, when it comes to finding a partner, I am usually more attracted to the bigger, stronger guys... not the ones with skinny jeans and a pink t-shirt icon_smile.gif It's not wrong, everybody is attracted to different stuff...
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    Sep 26, 2009 5:44 PM GMT
    waxon saidim not straight acting because i dont act...
    amen...you just............are........

    thats me. Im just me. Im masculine but not over the top.
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    Sep 26, 2009 6:17 PM GMT
    I hope that I can find a Big Black Boy who can look after and love me. I will definitely be willing to give him Blow Jobs if he treats me like his lover needs to be treated.icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Sep 26, 2009 6:21 PM GMT
    I've never chimed in on these threads (Str8 acting bs), because this debate is endless. For that reason, I never felt compelled to add my two cents until now, and this will be the one and only time so without further ado:

    Putting labels in your profile such as "straight acting" or "masculine" is cliche. It exhibits internalized homophobia, because people that aren't consciously worried about gender indentity issues or being percieved as gay (when for crying out loud you are on a gay site) are unconcerned with such artificial labels.
    People, that are secure in themselves, don't feel the need to attach labels of these types.

    I'm bisexual. Does that make me bi-acting or androgynous? No, that is just f'n' silly!
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    Sep 26, 2009 6:22 PM GMT
    Wow, Jemark. As my little brother would say, "You're doing too much." icon_eek.gif


    I agree with cthedj, it's not an "act". It's just who you are and, in this case, what you're attracted to.
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    Sep 26, 2009 6:24 PM GMT
    Ganymede0 saidI've never chimed in on these threads (Str8 acting bs), because this debate is endless. For that reason, I never felt compelled to add my two cents until now, and this will be the one and only time so without further ado:

    Putting labels in your profile such as "straight acting" or "masculine" is cliche. It exhibits internalized homophobia, because people that aren't consciously worried about gender indentity issues or being percieved as gay (when for crying out loud you are on a gay site) are unconcerned with such artificial labels.
    People, that are secure in themselves, don't feel the need to attach labels of these types.

    I'm bisexual. Does that make me bi-acting or androgynous? No, that is just f'n' silly!


    Would it exhibit internalized homophobia if a guy put the label "gay acting" or "feminine" in his profile? Why or why not?
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    Sep 26, 2009 6:26 PM GMT
    Athletic1984 saidWhenever I see the "guys I'd like to meet" section in a profile, the term "masculine" is used so profoundly. I mean, I do consider myself a jock however I don't believe I'm the "straight acting" tool bag most guys would like to meet on this site. What gives? Just because your "straight acting" does that make you better than me? Just makes me shake my head and laugh...

    Someone enlighten me with this please...


    I think you meant profusely, or, perhaps, abundantly. You may want to check the dictionary on what profound means.

    I think you meant "you're" as in "you are" as opposed to "your" which indicates possession.

    Everyone has preferences. Many athletes are turned off by certain mannerisms that some gay men seem compelled to adopt as part of their identity. If you prefer something on the creepy side, that's completely your prerogative. Nobody will fault you for that. You're also free to laugh as much as you wish.

    You may wish to look inward and examine whether, or not, your feelings aren't maybe feelings of resentment as opposed to jovial musings.
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    Sep 26, 2009 6:27 PM GMT
    RyanReBoRn said
    Ganymede0 saidI've never chimed in on these threads (Str8 acting bs), because this debate is endless. For that reason, I never felt compelled to add my two cents until now, and this will be the one and only time so without further ado:

    Putting labels in your profile such as "straight acting" or "masculine" is cliche. It exhibits internalized homophobia, because people that aren't consciously worried about gender indentity issues or being percieved as gay (when for crying out loud you are on a gay site) are unconcerned with such artificial labels.
    People, that are secure in themselves, don't feel the need to attach labels of these types.

    I'm bisexual. Does that make me bi-acting or androgynous? No, that is just f'n' silly!


    Would it exhibit internalized homophobia if a guy put the label "gay acting" or "feminine" in his profile? Why or why not?


    How in the hell would putting gay acting in your profile be homophobic? That doesn't even make sense.