met my bf's mother for the first time yesterday...it DID not go well...did I behave badly?

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 27, 2009 2:57 PM GMT
    my bf's questionably str8 friend & co-worker is getting married to a very sweet girl next month.

    my bf's mother was so taken with the couple that she deceided to host a brunch for them yesterday morning.

    the computer generated invitation said that dress was "dressy/casual". (whatever the h**l that means....)

    i wore jeans, a light blue/white stripped "seersucker" look shirt, dark blue blazer and penny loafers.

    upon meeting the mother for the very first time; she looked down her uptilted nose at me and dryly, sarcasticly commented "blue jeans are not approiate for this type of affair".

    I smiled at her at politely said "having finally met you, mrs. F****r, I can tell that **** received his breeding and good manners from his father's side of the family. Good Day, madam!" and slowly strolled away from her.

    perhaps i over-reacted.....icon_lol.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:07 PM GMT
    OMG...the imaginary bf now has an imaginary family and they're getting feisty. ... icon_eek.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 27, 2009 3:14 PM GMT
    How did your bf react?
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:16 PM GMT
    Wow...not only did you overeact... you showed that you have even less class than ur bf's mother. the appropriate response was "I am sorry Mrs. x..x. I really didn't intend to offend you or your guests. I really wanted to make a good impression and i hope this won't prevent us from being friends." then while she was stunned and stuttering you could just have smiled. thats class.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 27, 2009 3:18 PM GMT
    Oy ..... and with Thanksgiving just two months away icon_rolleyes.gif

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 27, 2009 3:20 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidHow did your bf react?
    he had a prolonged, severe coughing attack as he TRIED to cover up a long chortle. icon_lol.gif

    we both laughed and giggled about it as we lay in bed last night.
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:22 PM GMT
    hehe Are you sure you really did that? It´s the sort of thing that occurs to me to say, but being English I don´t.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 27, 2009 3:26 PM GMT
    yes, lostboy, word for word! we reconstructed the entire conversation while laying next to each other in bed last night.

    (the mother has a "reputation" of being a "dragon lady" to those she has deceided NOT to favor with her "approval"; so i was prepared for a put-down from her.)
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:29 PM GMT
    next time try...

    "I can change the jeans for free, but changing that face is going to cost you 1000s"


    Though I wouldn´t have worn blue jeans.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 27, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    mattyrec saidWow...not only did you overeact... you showed that you have even less class than ur bf's mother. the appropriate response was "I am sorry Mrs. x..x. I really didn't intend to offend you or your guests. I really wanted to make a good impression and i hope this won't prevent us from being friends." then while she was stunned and stuttering you could just have smiled. thats class.
    no, that's a "suck up to your elders" reply... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    rnch said
    Timberoo saidHow did your bf react?
    he had a prolonged, severe coughing attack as he TRIED to cover up a long chortle. icon_lol.gif

    we both laughed and giggled about it as we lay in bed last night.

    What a boor!....what a couple of boors! ... even if only one of them really exists .... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:38 PM GMT
    rnch said
    mattyrec saidWow...not only did you overeact... you showed that you have even less class than ur bf's mother. the appropriate response was "I am sorry Mrs. x..x. I really didn't intend to offend you or your guests. I really wanted to make a good impression and i hope this won't prevent us from being friends." then while she was stunned and stuttering you could just have smiled. thats class.
    no, that's a "suck up to your elders" reply... icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, that's the polite, civil reply. Did you go to the Kanye West School of Etiquette?
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Sep 27, 2009 3:40 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidnext time try...

    "I can change the jeans for free, but changing that face is going to cost you 1000s"


    Though I wouldn´t have worn blue jeans.
    jeans are universally accepted on this side of the pond...except by haughty mothers... icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    [quote]jeans are universally accepted on this side of the pond...except by haughty mothers... [/quote]

    Really? I didn't get that memo
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:46 PM GMT
    well you knew she was a haughty mother....

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:47 PM GMT
    Mate, I would have looked around and then said to her "How embarrassing. I'm so over-dressed". Then take off the jacket and politely ask her "Where's the bar? I need a drink before I slip into my Speedo".
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:51 PM GMT
    TucsonGradJock saidMate, I would have looked around and then said to her "How embarrassing. I'm so over-dressed". Then take off the jacket and politely ask her "Where's the bar? I need a drink before I slip into my Speedo".


    possibility 2

    "sorry babe, I´ll take them off" and then walk around in your boxers.
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    Sep 27, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    lol, I'd have killed her with kindness..


    Spoken loudly, "Bill, these jeans are inappropriate! Can you get me home to change?" *gives her a look of sober concern*
    Then saying to the mother, with a warm endearing and brilliant smile "Would you prefer black slacks or a light colour?" also in loud center stage voice.

    ...making sure everyone at this party heard the exchange. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 27, 2009 4:00 PM GMT
    the lady sounds like a pompous dry stick.
    If she wants to be so "classy" she should first send a formal invitation, properly printed and all.

    and these days, "Casual" usually includes jeans if they look nice.

    Where was the "ceremony" ?
    It's always a bit surreal watching people trying hard to be so chic and upscale in the backyard of a suburban bungalow. *amused*
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    Sep 27, 2009 4:06 PM GMT
    Hmm, my apologies but im gonna have to go with the mom here. (dont hate me). Your boyfriend's mom is exactly like my family and jeans are considered underdressed for a brunch. Gonna wanna go with khakis for a brunch. In terms of her behaviour though...shes allowed to have an opinion but comments about dress code are best kept inside (except at a restaurant). For the sake of the future of you and your boyfriend, you should probably meet with her for lunch or send an apology. When these types of women put on an occasion like that, they do want everything to go right and it was probably many things that caused her to lash out and you, being new to the family, made for an easy target.
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    Sep 27, 2009 4:07 PM GMT
    whosyourpaddy saidFor the sake of the future of you and your boyfriend, you should probably meet with her for lunch or send an apology.



    The fact that the you wore a blazer made the jeans completely appropriate in light of the fact that the woman's own invitation stated "dressy/casual". What a bitch! The one being rude and inappropriate was her for saying anything at all and making one of her guests (her son's bf no less) feel uncomfortable. It's not as if the OP showed up in ripped jeans and a tank top. The bf should have made her apologize because she was out of line. If my mother acted that way towards any of my friends, let alone my bf, I would let her have it. Then again, my mum would never do such a thing.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 27, 2009 4:11 PM GMT
    Well I have to say I would have been upset with the reaction from your bf's mother........ and would have been tempted to say something like what you did but...

    To keep peace both with your bf and not to create any drama, I would have let it pass, apologized and been extemely polite. She isn't some woman, she's your bf's mother.

    However, if after going the extra mile, she still treats you in a "less than" manner, I would say something. There is being polite and then there is being treated like a doormat. I am usually the former and never the latter.
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    Sep 27, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    despite my other answers, you were pretty much looking for this by wearing jeans.

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    Sep 27, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    WOW! Well in all honesty you did know what the dress code was for the occasion so you should've prepared a bit better. You are old enough to know that when meeting someone's parent's for the first time you should do well to be on your best behavior and at least look good. First impressions make lasting moments.

    You even had the advantage of knowing what to wear when attending the function. There are jeans and then there are dress jeans. I doubt it would've killed you had you wore a nice pair of khakis or some simple dress pants with a simple shirt and maybe for added effect a tie. LOL.

    Your BF should be pretty miffed or at least somewhat concerned how things went down but clearly if he is able to giggle and laugh about something like this then there's no sense in mourning over it.

    You would've been better off ignoring her comment and acting like neither she or her words existed.
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    Sep 27, 2009 4:20 PM GMT
    Both you and the BF's mother showed a lack of class.

    was it some sort of competition to see who could be the bigger bitch or something?