For being only 10% of the population, why are gay men much more picky than straight guys when it comes to sex & relationships?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2009 3:36 AM GMT
    I'm not saying to just go for whatever, but we add in all these other criteria like age, race, music, fashion tastes or financial status into the mix as if we have the luxury to decide from a huge pool of available men.

    Why do you think this is?

    Personally, I'm holding out for a guy who still reads comicbooks, loves to travel and has an insatiable sexual appetite...
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    Sep 28, 2009 5:05 AM GMT
    This is a hard one to answer lol



  • GQjock

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    Sep 30, 2009 10:41 AM GMT
    Because we can ?
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    Sep 30, 2009 10:44 AM GMT
    A straight guy will stick it in any hole and many will marry whoever they knock up... not that that's much of a relationship.

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    Sep 30, 2009 10:58 AM GMT
    The straight men I know are just as picky
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    Sep 30, 2009 11:25 AM GMT
    Lapinblanc saidA straight guy will stick it in any hole...


    And so do a lot of gay men...or maybe you missed that memo, lol.

    chungo44 saidThe straight men I know are just as picky


    Yeah, this is not a gay thing. But, having less options (because we make up a small portion of the population), doesn't mean you should be LESS picky, and settle for someone who's not good for you. There's a huge difference between compromise, and "putting up with."

    There are certain things I know off the bat I'm probably not going to have in common with someone (music, hobbies), and I'm totally cool with that if they are (those are things that make us individuals).

    There are other things I may not like (like political views, or certain behaviors), but am willing to tolerate as long as they agree to disagree, and they can also accept my differences.

    Then there are things that are such immediate turn offs that I won't look past them (smoking, drugs, conceit, capri-pants).

    Besides...honestly, I really dislike dating. Don't get me wrong; relationships are great. But, so is being single for just as many reasons. It's just the "dating" part in between the two that is the most annoying, lol.

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    Sep 30, 2009 11:44 AM GMT
    You think 10% is bad, imagine being from New York City. They only make up 1.2% of the population.
  • jrs1

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    Sep 30, 2009 12:06 PM GMT
    chungo44 saidThe straight men I know are just as picky


    I agree, chungo:

    I'm not sure as to whether we're more or less picky than straight males, but I think - to begin to answer your question - that like any normal human being, you're not attracted to just anyone. there must be some fundamental element spurred on by several integral components just to maintain a close connection with another person. we are a bit more complex than our simian counterparts ... that is if we would like to discuss " more " or " less " of anything.
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    Sep 30, 2009 12:13 PM GMT
    I'd say that straight guys are just as picky as we are, when it comes to dating.

    When it comes to sex, most people's criteria takes a dive (even more if alcohol is included). So in that aspect there's little difference.

    Basically, you might have the impression that straight guys are less picky since there's just so many more of them, therefore, on a day to day basis, they are going to bump into a lot more people that are to their tastes.
  • BronxvilleNY3...

    Posts: 101

    Sep 30, 2009 12:23 PM GMT
    10 %... What planet are you talking about?
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    Sep 30, 2009 12:30 PM GMT
    Gay men picky about sex? What planet are you talking about?
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    Sep 30, 2009 12:37 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidGay men picky about sex? What planet are you talking about?


    Well, yeah. Not women..........most of the time.

    That could (possibly) mean 50% of the world's population can't be counted.
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    Sep 30, 2009 12:48 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidYou think 10% is bad, imagine being from New York City. They only make up 1.2% of the population.



    that's like 150,000 people.... lol. not THAT bad.
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    Sep 30, 2009 12:54 PM GMT
    I think most people are kind of picky when it comes to who they are going to be in a relationship with and a little less picky when it comes to who they will just sleep with. Gay, straight, or otherwise, it kind of riungs true for everyone. People just start tend to realize what they are attracted to when it comes to looking for partners for sex or companionship and form preferences.

    We all want to be around people that we are going to enjoy.
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    Sep 30, 2009 1:19 PM GMT
    The OP reads: "sex & relationships" but I would distinguish between the two. Gays may indeed be more picky about relationships, though that's a difficult thing to measure. Is a gay guy who only likes bears much different from a straight guy who only wants women with "big tits?" I wonder if it's really ALL men who are picky about certain things and types in a relationship.

    But as for sex, although again difficult to measure, my subjective observation is that gays are LESS picky choosing casual sex partners. I think that's because sex is easier to do with a gay, more straightforward and less convoluted with another gay than with a woman.

    Maybe it's because it involves 2 men, with all men tending to search for sex more actively than women do. When it's boy-girl, it's often the boy who has to do all the work, pursuing a female who's less eager than he is. Put 2 gay men together, however, and they can both be equally eager, so things happen a lot quicker and easier.

    Men and women truly are different in certain ways, and I offer the example of the gay bathhouse. I don't think there's really a completely comparable institution like a lesbian bathhouse, it's almost exclusively a gay phenomenon. And in a gay bathhouse you cruise around in a towel or naked, and have sex with other guys, mostly strangers, almost as casually as shaking hands at a Rotary Club luncheon.

    Not that gay bathhouses are that common, or skew the non-picky statistic very much. But I do think they illustrate the more casual sexual approach gay men tend to take with each other, not being very picky at all.
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    Sep 30, 2009 2:26 PM GMT

    Because all we have is sex. Straight people can love on their spouse in public, marry their spouse, brag on their spouse at work, church, and in the men's room while I pee, but not you. All you have is sex and the majority of gay men shroud and conceal that sex. Even if they don't, it's shrouded and concealed in society, only on a crude sorta superficial display in the confines of the gay community. In that confinement, it becomes more about bragging rights and superficiality as opposed to deeper connections and commitment. I think our methods are far more visceral than straight men to the point we are ruled by ours. Raw animal attraction is fine for bed mates, but the world isn't a mattress. In essence we become sex slaves. Homosexuality should be more about life and loving, after all, heterosexuality is. Hence the need for marriage equality. Not that everyman would marry, but at least the shroud would lift and a man could allow himself to to see a person as a possible spouse or at least a person instead of just an object.

  • jarhead5536

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    Sep 30, 2009 2:36 PM GMT
    GQjock saidBecause we can ?


    'nuff said. Brilliant...
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    Sep 30, 2009 2:40 PM GMT
    Because we're much more in to aesthetics!
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    Sep 30, 2009 2:47 PM GMT
    Ghen saidI'd say that straight guys are just as picky as we are, when it comes to dating.

    When it comes to sex, most people's criteria takes a dive (even more if alcohol is included). So in that aspect there's little difference.

    Basically, you might have the impression that straight guys are less picky since there's just so many more of them, therefore, on a day to day basis, they are going to bump into a lot more people that are to their tastes.


    Made me think of this beer commercial icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 30, 2009 2:56 PM GMT
    Lapinblanc saidA straight guy will stick it in any hole and many will marry whoever they knock up... not that that's much of a relationship.



    a gay guy will stick it any hole and get "sticked" in any hole. and refuse to marry any of their stickings - hmmmmmmm how is this different again?
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    Sep 30, 2009 3:07 PM GMT
    It only seems like gay men are pickier because the group is small and the options fewer, meaning choices reduce opportunity more than they do in larger groups.
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    Sep 30, 2009 3:14 PM GMT
    Joecifer said




    Then there are things that are such immediate turn offs that I won't look past them (smoking, drugs, conceit, capri-pants).



    Ther term is manpris icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 30, 2009 3:15 PM GMT

    Blackguy4you said

    a gay guy will stick it any hole and get "sticked" in any hole. and refuse to marry any of their stickings - hmmmmmmm how is this different again?


    A straight guy could...if he wanted to and they do. Plus every gay man isn't a stick slut and some want a relationship if only it were chic. Exactly what does your excessive generalizing lend to this forum? Hmmmmmm, I wonder.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Sep 30, 2009 3:42 PM GMT
    When I was younger I was less picky about who I thought would be a good fit for a relationship. Now that I've gone through a lot of crap in relationships I feel that I am wiser now and I won't make those mistakes. At least I've never made the same mistake twice, lol.
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    Sep 30, 2009 4:06 PM GMT
    Ummm..........what is the divorce rate among hetero couples? And last I heard, straight people hookup, date, fall in love and are just as pickey as gay people.

    I think that nowdays, people are walking around with a checklist of the perfect mate and sometimes the slightest deviation from that list will disqualify your prospects. Plus, quick judgements make it too easy NOT to stick around and it makes people forget that there could be a lot of good stuff to discover about someone if they took the time to find out.

    Having common interests is great. But what's more important to me is that we both are secure about ourselves and curious and open minded to new things and willing to compromise. So even if the guy doesn't share some of your passions in life, there can be other things that bind the freindship or love........and being secure enough to support and encourage each other to pursue their individual interests.

    Someone here on RJ posted a video about the pitfalls of having more than 5 dealbreakers on your checklist of the perfect guy. So true.