I'm tired of kissing frogs.....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 28, 2009 5:20 AM GMT
    When will the REAL Prince Charming finally appear?

    They always start out with lots of energy and passion and sex and promises of great things and stability and communication, etc and they always fade and pass without so much as a response to questions of calls or e-mails...just a deafening and heart crushing silence and no answer to "what happened?", "Did I do something wrong?"...dejected Sigh icon_cry.gif
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    Sep 28, 2009 1:41 PM GMT
    crtrainer said
    It can be confusing - that one with the chronic STD, who smoked cigarettes with the car windows rolled up, the one who wanted me to stop wearing deoderant? Who lived with his parents at age 37? He wasnt interested.
    He also wasn't employed. I wasn't interested either.........but I was shocked, I thought he, at least, would consider me a catch! I guess the laughs on me!
    icon_biggrin.gif



    Dude, That's CRAZY!
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    Sep 28, 2009 2:04 PM GMT
    I think you never know which way relationship will go in the beginning. I think whereas having someone start off charming, and energetic and hopeful is incredibly uplifting, sometimes its better to invest time in those people who don't seem like they're planning your future out before they even truly know you.

    I knew guys like that back when I was single. And they'd be so into me, they'd be handsome, attractive, young at heart yet successful and responsible. And when I think back on what all these people had in common, they were the ones that suddenly for some reason they just dissapeared or found some really stupid reason to break things off, they were the ones that supposedly couldn't wait to settle down, wanted to take me to places I'd never been, just those ones that painted an extremely vivid picture that now when I think back on it was being said way too soon to actually be true.

    I've read some of your post and seen some of your pics. You seem like a great guy. What I learned was that those guys, though they had wasted some of my time, had done me a favor by finally calling things quit. Whereas sometimes it helps to get that feedback on what went wrong, it would truly be a waste of your time. I think just look at it as them giving you a chance to go find someone who's truly right for you.


    When I met my boyfriend, before I would even give him the time of day, he taught me something really important. If someones really into you, they don't need to paint grand pictures in your head. They put their money where they mouth is and you couldn't shake them off you wanted to. Just remain patient and keep thoughts traits of yours that make you you. At some point you'll find something.
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    Sep 28, 2009 2:32 PM GMT
    Sporty_g saidWhen will the REAL Prince Charming finally appear?

    They always start out with lots of energy and passion and sex and promises of great things and stability and communication, etc and they always fade and pass without so much as a response to questions of calls or e-mails...just a deafening and heart crushing silence and no answer to "what happened?", "Did I do something wrong?"...dejected Sigh icon_cry.gif


    And it just may be your lot in life to kiss frogs for the remainder of your days. Don’t u know frogs want to be kissed too? Perhaps the universe has decided to allot you this job
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    Sep 28, 2009 2:41 PM GMT
    Maybe you shouldn't kiss on the first date icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 28, 2009 2:43 PM GMT
    Sporty_g saidWhen will the REAL Prince Charming finally appear?

    They always start out with lots of energy and passion and sex and promises of great things and stability and communication, etc and they always fade and pass without so much as a response to questions of calls or e-mails...just a deafening and heart crushing silence and no answer to "what happened?", "Did I do something wrong?"...dejected Sigh icon_cry.gif


    I feel your pain. I've often said that we treat each other too callously. i'm sorry to hear that you don't get the closure you seek. it is quite maddening when this happens as we can all attest

    i've learnt over the years to get up, dust myself off and move on. putting such experiences in the perspective of people are brought into my life for a reason or a season...

  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Sep 28, 2009 2:43 PM GMT
    They're young, they're exploring, they want to take a bite out of each piece of candy in the box. So, apparently you're tempting candy but the box isn't empty yet.


    Sporty_g saidWhen will the REAL Prince Charming finally appear?

    They always start out with lots of energy and passion and sex and promises of great things and stability and communication, etc and they always fade and pass without so much as a response to questions of calls or e-mails...just a deafening and heart crushing silence and no answer to "what happened?", "Did I do something wrong?"...dejected Sigh icon_cry.gif
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    Sep 28, 2009 2:46 PM GMT
    Maybe lower your standards a bit? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 28, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidlower your standards a bit?


    no- never lower your standards if you can possibly help it

    instead widen the parameters of who you find attractive. you may find that prince in a package you may not have given the time of day to
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    Sep 28, 2009 2:55 PM GMT
    i always find everything to be excellent, then we have sex for the first time and its like he got what he wanted and now he goes away...

    super lame
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    Sep 28, 2009 3:02 PM GMT
    That is how dating works. If you consider them to be abject failures because they did not lead to a joint bank account and adopted children you are really missing the good stuff. Dating doesn't come naturally. It is a skill you have to learn. Failed dates are opportunities to learn about what a freak you and other people are and how to navigate that sideshow.
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    Sep 28, 2009 3:29 PM GMT

    Gosh, I had the same complaint about a month before I met.....Bill!


    ...the deafening and heart-crushing silence is all about THEM, not you and that giant Leo heart. Breathe a little silent sigh of relief whenever this happens, because a guy that does that is surely not the guy for you.

    ...as for frogs, well pucker up, because there are few other ways to tell.







    .......and ONE day..........









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    Sep 28, 2009 4:32 PM GMT
    I think promises are a form of manipulation that people use to get what they want at that moment. Words aren't really anything more than a stringing together of monosyllables so don't take them so much at face value if they ring off a bunch of sweetisms. Just have fun and put yourself out there in a variety of settings. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist, but guys with better intentions do.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Sep 28, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    Sporty_g saidWhen will the REAL Prince Charming finally appear?

    They always start out with lots of energy and passion and sex and promises of great things and stability and communication, etc and they always fade and pass without so much as a response to questions of calls or e-mails...just a deafening and heart crushing silence and no answer to "what happened?", "Did I do something wrong?"...dejected Sigh icon_cry.gif

    Welcome to my life lately. OY. AND he showed up at my birthday party on Saturday.
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    Sep 28, 2009 5:26 PM GMT
    I think Ms. Chi Chi of To Wong Foo: Thanks for everything Julie Newmar said it best...

    "I have a broken heart for every light on broadway... when one of them burns out, I just screw in another one, okay? Hello.. Goodbye."

    ive had a rough couple of months with my bf. We have know each for 4yrs and 5 days now as today. When I met him, i was still grief stricken over the lost of my fance and really wasnt looking for anyone. I was more intrested in just making new friends and he seems like a really great guy. I shoud also mention the fact that I saw him walking around my friend's university that very same day so it was even more of a like WOW, thats weird kind of thing. He liked some other guy that didnt even give him the time of day and apprently it was the other guys and my friend's plot to hook us up and I had no idea. "E" apprently thought that I was in on it and tried treating me like shit at first to make me back off cause he thought I wanted with him but when 'I backed off he realized that I wasnt what he thought I was. We started talking and hanging out and having raeally great times together. When I decided to take a break from college, I left without saying anything cause I figured I would never see or hear from him again. Little did I know that he went looking for me that next semester at my college only to find out I moved back home and he moved back home as well. about 10mths later I found his number again and called him up to catch up on old times see what was new and explained to him what happened. He forgave me and we move foward in our friendship. I soon realized I was the other woman because he had a gf that he was hiding from me. turns out he liked me the whole time but because of him being in the closet and what not.... well you know how that goes. He eventually broke up with her and got with me and we were good for about 2 yrs until this past august. I knew he had family members pushing him to drop me like a rock because they felt I was too flamboyant. He gave in to their thoughts and broke things off with me. I was devistated. i never saw it coming and I was very very good to him. I tried pushing away and moving on and for a while there we didnt talk at all. About 3 weeks ago he called me up and wanted to talk. Turns out he missed me and that his feelings for me never changed and he knows he messed up. He wanted me back. i told him lets start at zero but I couldnt do that... how do you throw away something 4yrs old? Its hard.... very hard. I took the time off to really look at myself because I thought well maybe I didnt do things right... no I realized I wasnt perfect for sure I had my flaws and I changed them and I also gained a new self respect for myself. I always thought maybe that I wasn;t good enough to be in a relationship that I was lacking something. in reading this book "My Guy: A Gay Man's Guide to a Lasting Relationship" I found my selfesteem. I would suggest reading it... its a really great book and maybe it will help you out like it helped me. got me over the "whys" pretty quickly.
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    Sep 28, 2009 10:02 PM GMT
    So many guys on this site. So many really beautiful, intelligent guys. So many "looking". Many say they want a bf...the closest some are willing to get to another man is in front of a web cam. I see so many men list "buds" and guys they think are "hot" that live far away. Hmmm....Did you ever go out with someone you've known a short while and you're attracted to him and you think it's mutual...say you find yourselves in a bar-you're standing with your back to the door while he faces you and while you're conversing, he keeps looking up towards the door every few seconds to see who has come in? Maybe someone better? Sort of disconcerting, hunh? It is the nature of man to continually seek that which is bigger and better, or just different. I wish I could say that I have evolved beyond that kind of thinking, but I have not. I see couples such as the two J.'s from Redding, Calif. & I really envy them. Very much in love, after many years together. I read somewhere, maybe their site, that a relationship is not a 50-50 proposition, rather, it is a 100-100 % partnership. That I think is the crux...most of us have difficulty giving 100% of ourselves to anyone...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 28, 2009 10:06 PM GMT
    I guess I've been lucky..... in the beginning I was pretty clueless and he could have screwed me over (literally). Instead 11 years later, I'm grateful I got the Prince!

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 28, 2009 10:27 PM GMT
    Halfstep saidI think you never know which way relationship will go in the beginning. I think whereas having someone start off charming, and energetic and hopeful is incredibly uplifting, sometimes its better to invest time in those people who don't seem like they're planning your future out before they even truly know you.

    I knew guys like that back when I was single. And they'd be so into me, they'd be handsome, attractive, young at heart yet successful and responsible. And when I think back on what all these people had in common, they were the ones that suddenly for some reason they just dissapeared or found some really stupid reason to break things off, they were the ones that supposedly couldn't wait to settle down, wanted to take me to places I'd never been, just those ones that painted an extremely vivid picture that now when I think back on it was being said way too soon to actually be true.

    I've read some of your post and seen some of your pics. You seem like a great guy. What I learned was that those guys, though they had wasted some of my time, had done me a favor by finally calling things quit. Whereas sometimes it helps to get that feedback on what went wrong, it would truly be a waste of your time. I think just look at it as them giving you a chance to go find someone who's truly right for you.


    When I met my boyfriend, before I would even give him the time of day, he taught me something really important. If someones really into you, they don't need to paint grand pictures in your head. They put their money where they mouth is and you couldn't shake them off you wanted to. Just remain patient and keep thoughts traits of yours that make you you. At some point you'll find something.


    RIght on, 1/2 Step.. light and progress be upon you (and your mate whomever he is for setting an example)

    Most guys like to talk a good game and promise you the world, however very few come even close. It's one thing to say it, and it's one thing to bring it.

    To anyone (not just those whom you're interested in) who you come in contact with, pay attention to their actions (or lack thereof). They'll tell you everything you need to know.

    And try not to feel too bad. Most of the time it has nothing to do with you as much as it does with their lack of accountability, consistency and overall ability to follow through. Consider it a blessing that they disappear. That's 1 less flake to deal with. I've just recently learned that lesson and it's worked WONDERS!!

    MC Lyte definitely had it right with this one..

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    Sep 28, 2009 10:28 PM GMT

    I'd imagine they are tired of kissing princes.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 28, 2009 10:39 PM GMT
    David+Beckham+sexy+hot+pic+9.jpg


    Okay... icon_eek.gif Where do I start Kissin' ?
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    Sep 28, 2009 10:41 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI guess I've been lucky..... in the beginning I was pretty clueless and he could have screwed me over (literally). Instead 11 years later, I'm grateful I got the Prince!

    icon_biggrin.gif


    good... gives me hope. going on year 5 with my guy... I hope and pray this is it for the long haul.
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    Sep 28, 2009 10:49 PM GMT
    Sorry guys! I'm on an ol' school womyn of hip hop tip..but this song is kind of apporpriate as well ...



    [Sorry the first set of bars was cut off icon_sad.gif ]
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    Sep 29, 2009 1:17 AM GMT



    Hey bigmusclepete, This is good stuff,

    "I read somewhere, maybe their site, that a relationship is not a 50-50 proposition, rather, it is a 100-100 % partnership. That I think is the crux...most of us have difficulty giving 100% of ourselves to anyone..."


    ...and true for us two.
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    Sep 29, 2009 2:46 AM GMT
    If you are tired of kissing frogs and all the nonsense that goes along with that......

    KISS ME........
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    Sep 29, 2009 2:51 AM GMT
    This is so true. You think everything is going so good. You leave each other saying, can't wait to see you again. Texting all night and day. Then boom we had sex, and he is gone, just to text after a long time to say hey whats up, long time. Not falling for this again, go use ur hands.