Clueless Gym Folks

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    Sep 28, 2009 1:49 PM GMT
    John Romano let's me know I'm not alone in my sentiment:

    Wipe the Bench Off. . . Or Don't? PDF Print E-mail
    Written by John Romano
    Friday, 11 September 2009 02:04

    I've come to tolerate many things in the gym that I would never tolerate anywhere else. I guess that tolerance has grown over time because back in the day no one would ever get away with some of the shit people get away with today. I'm talking about stuff like wonton little nerds sitting on a machine during primetime reading a book between sets like they are the only one in the gym, oblivious to the line of people waiting to use the thing. . . idiots who step in front of me while I'm in the middle of a set and block the mirror. . . people who take every pair of dumbbells from the 20s on down to some obscure corner of the gym to do walking lunges or some other useless exercise and never bring them back. . . and, as you can imagine, there's more.

    Then there are the personal trainers, who are in need of a trainer themselves, who put their clients through the most ludicrous exercises that look more like circus acts that weight-training. Others marry themselves to particular protocols and simply won't budge; like the kettle bell guy in my gym. No matter what day it is, no matter what client he's training, no matter what the client's specific physicality may dictate; he gives them kettle bells. And let's not forget my all-time favorite, the Swiss ball knuckleheads who've decided to redesign the basic tenets of fitness with the mutilation of "core" exercises. And that's just the tip of the iceberg of things that piss me off. I tolerate it mostly because it's not only mildly amusing, but also because I've accepted the fact that most people don't know what the hell hardcore is anymore even of it hit them in the head, which still may happen if I get pushed too far.

    And that brings me to the subject of my rant for tonight. Sweat. Some people sweat when they train, some people merely perspire, and some have this odd affliction that causes them to ooze copious fluids and drip like an old Ford with a leaky head gasket. On this particular day at LA Fitness, one such individual had just left the stair climber like Katrina had left New Orleans. The rubber mat under the machine had a such a huge puddle on it, I swear I saw fish jump out of it. And the dust it had attracted gave the piece an ambiance one would find at Typhoid Mary's house. Leaving such a humid environment in his wake, you would think the gentleman would have at least brought a towel, if not a sump pump. But, no, he opted to drip dry as he walk about the gym; wearing crocks I might add, which made a disgusting squishing sound with each step he took. The guy squished his way over to a flat bench and sat down with a splat. I was on a Hammer incline press at the time wondering if this guy was even remotely aware of the fact that he was dripping like a storm cloud all over everything he touched. But the guy was oblivious! He did three or four sets of some kind of strange thing with a dumbbell that required him to lie flat with his feet up on the end of the bench. When he was done, he just walked away leaving a huge frothing wet spot where his soaked mop of hair had met one end of the bench. Well, his valet was apparently not working that day and neither he nor anyone else wiped down the bench. It just glistened for a while until a stringy annoying, balding, guy in his mid-fifties, who was reading a copy of Rich Dad Poor Dad between sets on a shoulder press machine that I wanted to use but couldn't because he "only had one more left", walked over to it.


    Well, the guy with the financial impediment hadn't noticed the gigantic wet spot on the bench where his head was going to go if he ended up using the thing even remotely in accordance with its design. He went about finding a camber bar, a few small plates, and the end clips to hold them on. As he sat on the opposite end of the bench assembling his barbell for what would ultimately be some brutal sets of skull crushers, I began to realize that he had no idea that when he laid back he was going scuba diving. So, since the guy who left the puddle and the guy about to swim in it were both perceived as the enemy, I took an extra long break between sets so I could watch the punking unfold. Apparently Robert Kiyosaki's economics had distracted this gym reader enough for him to totally ignore anything behind him. He hoisted all 35 pounds of cambered bar to his chest, sat down and laid back with a splash. He might as well have stuck his head in an electrical socket the way he snapped back up and threw his weight to the floor in front of him. He simultaneously raised a hand to his bare pate and looked at what it had just encountered and looked like he was going to throw up, while I, of course, was cracking up.

    (Data record too short. Continues next record.)
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    Sep 28, 2009 1:50 PM GMT
    Now, I surely could have said something to prevent the scalp splattering, but, you know, it was just deserts. I left the gym happy knowing that just maybe the people who annoy me are starting to annoy each other. Hopefully they will all leave and go to Planet Fitness -- or a library-- where they belong, and leave the gym to people who work out with some reverence. Every now and then-- not often enough unfortunately-- justice is served, and this was one of those times.

    Credit:

    http://www.rxmuscle.com/articles/romanos-rage/722-wipe-the-bench-off---or-dont.html

    LOL. Serves the dummies right! ROFL.
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    Sep 28, 2009 7:29 PM GMT
    May I add The Conspiracy of the Plate Stealers. While I'm doing my warm-up sets for bench press at this one particular gym, EVERY time some loser walks over to the bench I'm laying on and snatches a plate, a quarter, a dime, etc.

    Initially, not wanting to fight, I would walk the extra four steps to the weight tree to get the self-same weight that was snatched from me, and use it in my next set. I know...I'm a real monster. Eventually I worked up to walking over to the rack the stealer was working out on and taking the weight back. My final solution: shout at them, "Hey! Go over there and find some weights I'm NOT using!"

    "Oh, sorry...I didn't know if you'd be needing this."

    I'd point to the weight tree. "See anything there you need?"

    It was always a different guy. Each time. Thus, a conspiracy.
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    Sep 28, 2009 7:43 PM GMT
    Chucky, great story. and I know the type. We have this (extremely homophobic asshole) Ironman sorta guy who wears plain cotten tees and sweats so much the thing looks like its been dipped in the sink. I avoid him.

    Mike: I'd be too scared of you to steal your plates. unless I was tryng to get a better look at you.
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    Sep 28, 2009 9:20 PM GMT
    Oh those sweaty people. There are a couple of guys at the gym I go and they never ever wipe after using any fucking machine.
    You missed another category - The BENCH STEALERS. You just walk over to weight stand to change your dumbells or barbell and they jump on the bench. Listen to the excuse - "Oh I didn't know you were using it", well you were standing right there watching me and I saw you move across quickly.
    Then the extremely social people. Grab two benching next to each other. Do three sets of some stupid stuff and talk for 20 mins. while everyone else is waiting for them to get done.
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    Sep 28, 2009 9:28 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidJohn Romano let's me know I'm not alone in my sentiment:

    Wipe the Bench Off. . . Or Don't? PDF Print E-mail
    Written by John Romano
    Friday, 11 September 2009 02:04

    I've come to tolerate many things in the gym that I would never tolerate anywhere else. I guess that tolerance has grown over time because back in the day no one would ever get away with some of the shit people get away with today. I'm talking about stuff like wonton little nerds sitting on a machine during primetime reading a book between sets like they are the only one in the gym, oblivious to the line of people waiting to use the thing.


    Have the wonton little nerds been spending too much time in Chinese restaurants? icon_wink.gif

    I guess that he meant to describe the little nerds as wanton.

    Maybe he should have just described them as inconsiderate.
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    Sep 28, 2009 9:30 PM GMT
    I always bring a towel to wipe down the machine (before and after,) and another to wipe the sweat of my face.

    But I find trainers that feel as if they are entitled to use every machine in the gym for their clients 'supersets.' Once you leave a machine that I need, and you don't leave a towel on it, I'm going to jump on in. Assholes.

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    Sep 28, 2009 9:31 PM GMT
    Hmmm....

    I don't allow stupid people to bother me, I am in complete control of my emotions and think they can do any stupid exercise or talk on their phones all they want and I won't waste the energy whining about it

    Unless they do something which effects me directly

    That said....

    Quit spitting in the drinking fountain, scumbags!

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    Sep 28, 2009 9:39 PM GMT
    Hydroxycunt said IBut I find trainers that feel as if they are entitled to use every machine in the gym for their clients 'supersets.' Once you leave a machine that I need, and you don't leave a towel on it, I'm going to jump on in.

    Even if they do leave a towel on it they can't expect to reserve half the machines in the gym. If I see a trainer halfway across the room working some totally different body part I don't have any qualms about moving the towel.
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    Sep 28, 2009 10:11 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidJohn Romano let's me know I'm not alone in my sentiment:

    Wipe the Bench Off. . . Or Don't? PDF Print E-mail
    Written by John Romano
    Friday, 11 September 2009 02:04

    Sweat. Some people sweat when they train, some people merely perspire, and some have this odd affliction that causes them to ooze copious fluids and drip like an old Ford with a leaky head gasket.


    What's so funny about this is that I actually have oozing sweat problem. icon_biggrin.gif By the time I'm done warming up for my workout I've already sweat enough to have run a couple of miles. Which is why I normally have two towels, one for my face(which gets soaked) and the other one for the equipment I use.
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    Sep 28, 2009 10:36 PM GMT
    TexDef07 said
    Even if they do leave a towel on it they can't expect to reserve half the machines in the gym. If I see a trainer halfway across the room working some totally different body part I don't have any qualms about moving the towel.


    Our gym offers towel service (so you'd *think* people would get the hint regarding sweat). This, however, leads to yet another faux pas: Soiled towels scattered about the gym. So, the towel-on-equipment-equals-in-use signal is rendered void, b/c so many people don't bother to toss their sweaty towels into one of the many convenient receptacles, and instead, leave spent towels on equipment.
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    Sep 29, 2009 1:03 AM GMT
    How about the guy that simply stinks up the whole gym because he has worn the same shirt for a week. Everyone but him can smell it. Last week there was a guy, seemed normal, decent body, but the odor coming off him was repulsive and the fans blew his stench toward the other half of the gym. So actually at first you cant indentify who it is and you start smelling your own body before you realize the guy is halfway across the gym. Then the guy went into the lockerroom where he filled up the entire room with a permeating foul smell that was there well after he exited. Simply awful when you are trying to work out. Gyms usually have 2-3 of these guys.
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    Sep 29, 2009 1:13 AM GMT
    Apparently John Romano is the Andy Rooney of the gym set?
  • cowboyathlete

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    Sep 29, 2009 1:17 AM GMT
    This is more of a selfish queen comment than a clueless comment, but here goes. Tonight I asked a guy I know in passing how many more sets he had on the leg press machine. He held two fingers, so I assumed he meant two sets. Long story short, he did FOUR more sets. When he wondered why I did another lift to come back and wait, he said that he did two wide and two narrow. Bear in mind he never made that clear. I pointed that out to him, and being the stereotypical histrionic gay that he is tried to make a fuss.

    Bear in mind that this was Monday night, the most crowded night of the week. I hate anyone, gay or straight, who cannot understand basic rules of communication at the gym.
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    Sep 29, 2009 3:14 AM GMT
    Here's my response when somebody asks me how many more sets I have: "I'm a grown up and don't require exclusive use of the apparatus. You're welcome to work in with me if you're in a hurry." It takes away their whining.
  • cowboyathlete

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    Sep 29, 2009 3:20 AM GMT
    chuckystud saidHere's my response when somebody asks me how many more sets I have: "I'm a grown up and don't require exclusive use of the apparatus. You're welcome to work in with me if you're in a hurry." It takes away their whining.
    I always try to work something out like that myself if a guy asks. Anyone who lifts regularly does. All this guy had to do was to say he had four sets, one way or another, but he did not.
  • t0theheights

    Posts: 428

    Sep 29, 2009 3:28 AM GMT
    While I share the writer's hatred of sweaters who don't bother to sop up their sludge, his article was otherwise arrogant and juvenile. I can't stand those "serious" gym guys who act like their theory of working out and idea of what and who the gym is for is Golden. The fact is, there are no gyms for "serious" versus "non-serious" lifters; every one has his or her own fitness program and goals, so one man's "ridiculous" core exercise is an integral piece to another's workout. So those half-wit know-it-alls who act like they own the gym and possess knowledge of the one and only "right" way to work out only come off sounding like arrogant fools.
  • HereNBoston

    Posts: 221

    Sep 29, 2009 5:21 AM GMT
    I think it's pretty funny that the writer calls lunges useless, and makes fun of trainers who use the kettle bell..two staples of my leg workouts as a runner and biker **shrug** but i guess i'm no serious gym guy, and lack my own douche bag bitch session blog.... oh well icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 29, 2009 5:31 AM GMT
    Okay, 'non serious' lifters do not belong in the gym. If you are just going there to socialize why bother going at all. I do not mind if you talk to someone while walking to another machine, but do not just sit on the equipment/machines chatting it up about Obama's stimulus plan.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Those horror stories about towels make me glad I go to a small gym. It can get crowded at times, but there are never any used up towels just lounging about.
  • cg220

    Posts: 208

    Sep 29, 2009 9:01 AM GMT
    My biggest gripe at my gym is noone puts their weights away. they end up all over the place and you have track down everything. Pain in the arse!

    But the sweat and no towell...yea, just plain gross
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    Sep 29, 2009 9:16 AM GMT
    Neophoenician saidApparently John Romano is the Andy Rooney of the gym set?


    I was thinking the same thing.
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    Sep 29, 2009 9:55 AM GMT
    I enjoy and agree with what Chucky, the OP, has said. I just have one question though....Why not call out these bloody daft fools? icon_confused.gif
    There was one bloke at my gym who always left the machines in a disgusting state. I complained once to the management. (Didn't point the person out. I'm not a snitch. I told management that they are not doing their jobs in watching and having the staff clean.)
    After a week of the gym's non-conformance to my request, I simply called the slob out. I told him his gym "etiquette" was terrible. I did it loudly enough that others heard. My goal was to embarrass him so badly that I would not have to see him again. It worked!! I hear he now comes at a different time. Plus the staff is much more attentive to the cleanliness, and makes sure that all of the stations are stocked.
    Just confront these pigs and get it out in the open.
    Cheers,
    Keith
  • cowboyathlete

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    Sep 29, 2009 11:46 AM GMT
    A lot of these comments come down to the fact that some guys act as if they are the only ones who go to the gym. Many have no sense of how to respect the fact that others are there too.
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    Sep 29, 2009 12:13 PM GMT
    cowboyathlete saidA lot of these comments come down to the fact that some guys act as if they are the only ones who go to the gym. Many have no sense of how to respect the fact that others are there too.


    Take your last sentence and you basically have what is wrong with the world.

    1. I am a small guy; but I have the strength to carry my dumbbells back to the rack instead of dropping them on the floor noisily.

    2. Walking Lunges are not stupid, although I dont understand why you need a lot of dumbbells to do it.

    3. Douche Bags are verbose.icon_evil.gif
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    Sep 29, 2009 12:21 PM GMT
    Musclequest saidI enjoy and agree with what Chucky, the OP, has said. I just have one question though....Why not call out these bloody daft fools? icon_confused.gif
    There was one bloke at my gym who always left the machines in a disgusting state. I complained once to the management. (Didn't point the person out. I'm not a snitch. I told management that they are not doing their jobs in watching and having the staff clean.)
    After a week of the gym's non-conformance to my request, I simply called the slob out. I told him his gym "etiquette" was terrible. I did it loudly enough that others heard. My goal was to embarrass him so badly that I would not have to see him again. It worked!! I hear he now comes at a different time. Plus the staff is much more attentive to the cleanliness, and makes sure that all of the stations are stocked.
    Just confront these pigs and get it out in the open.
    Cheers,
    Keith


    I just quoted John Romano, of Muscle Mag. I have and do call folks out at the gym, especially where I know the gym manager. Many in management are paralyzed by the fear of a corporate over-reaction to policing of the gym. In Highland Village, TX, an affluent community, where we often go, the young kids, and a number of the adults, leave weights laying all over the place. They've never been properly parented, and view the world in an I,I,I,me,me,me perspective. Texans are exceptionally rude gym goers, as a rule, but, Highland Village gym goers are some of the worst around.

    E.g., yesterday, Logan and I stopped at a busy 7-11 here for a drink. I went to backup, and this guy blocked me for nearly 3 minutes. I got out to tell him we wanted to back out. He was holding up traffic because he didn't want to walk from the side of the building, some 10 feet further than the front door space he was blocking for. (He was parked behind me, blocking my exit from the parking lot.) When I told him I'd like to leave, he called me an asshole. I said, "Are you so lazy you can't walk from the side the building?" He said, "Yes, I fucking am. ASSHOLE." Somehow, I ended up the asshole, in his Texan mind, because I asked him to let me leave. He could have easily parked on the side of 7-11, instead of the front door, and not blocked my exit. That's how lazy and rude folks are here. The guy blocked traffic because he refused to walk an extra ten feet. It's typical of Texas. They're the same way with trash, throwing it in the lot, when they're right next to the dumpster. It goes beyond rude, to amazing that they can be so bad, but, they are.