Dec 13, 2007 4:28 PM GMT
I recently received a visit from a person who had been given my number by a mutual friend. We live in a remote area and these kind of introductions are fairly common. Anyway, "Jason" as he calls himself, a middle-aged conservative man, quickly revealed that he's married and just returned from Billings, Montana, where he had enjoyed the pleasures offered at a couple of the adult bookstores.
I initially sympathized with his situation, having been there over a quarter of a century ago, I did however inform him that times had changed and that an open and honest life was not only possible but a desirable choice. A discussion followed and I was quickly informed that not only was he was against Gay marriage, but also against any state sanctioning of the "Gay lifestyle." That included the hundreds of state and federal rights and benefits denied us. I quickly got the sense from his well rehearsed rhetoric, that he not only held these beliefs but actively worked to make sure his beliefs were imposed on the rest of the country.
The conversation rapidly elevated from heated to hot and when I informed him, that I was no longer interested in continuing the discussion, he took on an incredibly smug posture, berating me and dispelling me as a left wing liberal who was closed-minded to the discussion. I should preface all this with the fact that I'm still licking my wounds from an extremely difficult breakup, and am perhaps hyper-sensitive on the subject of honesty and openness.
Anyway... to shorten this story... I ended up throwing the guy out of my house, and found out later the that he is the Pastor of a very large, conservative and politically active church in a nearby town. Sounds very familiar to (and actually resembles) Rev. Ted Haggard... http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/03/haggard.allegations/index.html
It feels to me, that outing this guy would at the very least put one more chink in the armor of the Religious Right Wing Conservatives and expose the leadership for the hypocrites they often are. I know there would be some serious repercussions for his wife and his marriage, but having recently been the object an extended period of spousal deception, I can't help but think in in the long run, she'd rather be informed of the truth than be left in the dark.
So, here are the questions: Is there a time when it is alright to to OUT someone?... Is there a time when it's actually ones responsibility as a gay man to OUT someone?
http://jasmynecannick.typepad.com/jasmynecannickcom/2005/11/much_ado_over_o.html
I initially sympathized with his situation, having been there over a quarter of a century ago, I did however inform him that times had changed and that an open and honest life was not only possible but a desirable choice. A discussion followed and I was quickly informed that not only was he was against Gay marriage, but also against any state sanctioning of the "Gay lifestyle." That included the hundreds of state and federal rights and benefits denied us. I quickly got the sense from his well rehearsed rhetoric, that he not only held these beliefs but actively worked to make sure his beliefs were imposed on the rest of the country.
The conversation rapidly elevated from heated to hot and when I informed him, that I was no longer interested in continuing the discussion, he took on an incredibly smug posture, berating me and dispelling me as a left wing liberal who was closed-minded to the discussion. I should preface all this with the fact that I'm still licking my wounds from an extremely difficult breakup, and am perhaps hyper-sensitive on the subject of honesty and openness.
Anyway... to shorten this story... I ended up throwing the guy out of my house, and found out later the that he is the Pastor of a very large, conservative and politically active church in a nearby town. Sounds very familiar to (and actually resembles) Rev. Ted Haggard... http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/03/haggard.allegations/index.html
It feels to me, that outing this guy would at the very least put one more chink in the armor of the Religious Right Wing Conservatives and expose the leadership for the hypocrites they often are. I know there would be some serious repercussions for his wife and his marriage, but having recently been the object an extended period of spousal deception, I can't help but think in in the long run, she'd rather be informed of the truth than be left in the dark.
So, here are the questions: Is there a time when it is alright to to OUT someone?... Is there a time when it's actually ones responsibility as a gay man to OUT someone?
http://jasmynecannick.typepad.com/jasmynecannickcom/2005/11/much_ado_over_o.html