I was cleaning out my closet (insert laugh track here) and stumbled upon a bunch of old papers. One of them was the following poem I'd saved from some random publication. It's dated July/August 1998 when I was myself a wee lad of 25. Enjoy!

Summer Postcard from a Plump Old Dear To the Tawny Toms
by H. Mark Smith

To look upon this dear old queen
Protected from sun and heat
In shaded chaise,
You'd never guess
That once upon a long lost time ago
I, too, was you.

Ah, yes, the summer I was tan
And thin
And wore a gold chain
And dazzled the men -
The rich and charming men.
My, that was grand.

Imagine this ole thang, the star attraction.
Me, commotion's cause.
Morning picnic jam pot for hungry ants.
Fresh new fragrant blossom for bees beyond the dunes.

Ah yes, for those two weeks - or days?
or hours?
The belle of the ball.
A shameless flirt.
Harmless, alas, but shameless nonetheless.
Dancing from my suitors slowly, coyly.
A terrible tease.
And yet, my flirting, teasing gave my men
A thrill
To whet their fancy
Summer dreams.

My, that was fun.
That summer afternoon.
When I was tan.

So enjoy, my buff bronze buoyant boys of now.
Enjoy your moment in the sun.
I've had mine - this sunny day is yours.
Drink it while you can.
I sip a quiet and cool elixir now.
Without a drop of sorrow.

But do, sweet sweaty swaggering swells,
Do, dear boys, remember, this is fun.
Not life, but a charming little toy.
An amusement park ride,
A souvenir
That one day you'll uncover
In the forgotten corner
Of the bottom drawer
And look upon
With a smile, and a smirk.
If you're as lucky as I.

Ah, yes.
Remember that day
That summer I was tan
And thin
And wore a gold chain
And charmed the charming men?