Question about misrepresenting

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2009 3:11 AM GMT
    I got a question here...what if a guy who represents himself as average looking, in average shape with average looking kinda out of shape pics of himself on his profile ends up being this gorgeous hunk of a man who is now in incredible shape but never told you. He's still misrepresenting himself..but is it morally as bad as the flip side?? I ask because its happened to people and its kinda confusing.

    How would you react??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2009 3:27 AM GMT


    React? Well, happily surprised.

    It's easy to see ourselves as less than we are.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2009 4:22 AM GMT
    nysexy saidI got a question here...what if a guy who represents himself as average looking, in average shape with average looking kinda out of shape pics of himself on his profile ends up being this gorgeous hunk of a man who is now in incredible shape but never told you. He's still misrepresenting himself..but is it morally as bad as the flip side?? I ask because its happened to people and its kinda confusing.

    How would you react??


    In sales, we call that under promising and over delivering. Usually works like a charm.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Oct 03, 2009 4:24 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    React? Well, happily surprised.

    It's easy to see ourselves as less than we are.



    Yes! I wholeheartedly agree.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Oct 03, 2009 4:27 AM GMT
    Well, I think it's one thing to misrepresent yourself as younger, slimmer, and more in shape than you actually are than the opposite. Your example is a rare case. Perhaps he feels as if he's objectified for how good of a shape he's in. By suggesting he's average, he probably hopes he'll be judged for his other qualities. I'd also suggest it's a form of modesty.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2009 4:35 AM GMT
    As someone who is overweight, and used to be quite larger, I can answer this. (I dont practice it though);

    Its a test. Plain and simple. Does vanity rule your judgement? Is he wrong for this? Maybe. It shows a insecurity, well, rather a mis-trust of others, based on his personal experiences.

    When your overweight, there is a greater tendency for people run in the other direction. Regardless of how much work you have done to get where you are at now. I get it often. My pictures are accurate. Though when people find out I'm overweight, they never respond again. Or create a sad excuse that contradicts all of their previous messages. (Yes, people do notice the mood change in the e-convo.) icon_rolleyes.gif

    The best part: I am overweight, but I still look good. I laugh when I run into people that previously ran off. Im nice, cordial, and respectful to them. However, they are held at arms length. Unless they are man enough to apologize. Thats happened too. I have a greater respect for them at that point.

    While it may seem like a poor way to meet, (honesty and such), try empathy first, and understand why they do it. Judging a book by its cover is never a good idea.

    Personally, I don't mis-represent myself. The fact that you dont see my "weight" in my pictures is for obvious reasons, however, I am factual on the numbers I put out there. Hell, in conversations, Ill bring it up sometimes, to make sure that the person isn't wasting my time. If you cant read, not my fault. icon_lol.gif

    And thats not to say that I dont understand personal attraction. However if a conversation is going well, and then the weight comes up, and they run without a word after, they are a dick and a coward. plain and simple. Its the judgement that sucks.

    Hope this helps on perspective. icon_smile.gif

    I agree with all of the posts above. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2009 4:41 AM GMT
    Maybe he has no recent pictures and he is not good at taking them of himself. It's not easy for some to ask a friend or neighbor to take a pic of you wearing only gym shorts or underwear for a real jock profile. You should offer to help him out.
  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Oct 03, 2009 6:20 AM GMT
    If you have a problem with the guy looking better than his average persona then perhaps you may be somewhat insecure yourself.

    As for me.... love pleasant surprises icon_biggrin.gif
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Oct 03, 2009 6:28 AM GMT
    A pleasant surprise is NEVER a bad thing! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2009 10:41 AM GMT
    Personally, I don't see an overly pessimistic self image as materially different from an overly optimistic one. Neither one is a misrepresentation. They are both ego statements by people who are human and flawed. It seems simplistic, childish, and victim-ey to call it lying, deceit, or whatever term-du-jour is in vogue.

    It really seems delusional to me to go on a blind date and expect the person to be exactly as they've described themselves in a personals ad. Expect the unexpected.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2009 5:06 PM GMT
    nysexy saidI got a question here...what if a guy who represents himself as average looking, in average shape with average looking kinda out of shape pics of himself on his profile ends up being this gorgeous hunk of a man who is now in incredible shape but never told you. He's still misrepresenting himself..but is it morally as bad as the flip side?? I ask because its happened to people and its kinda confusing.

    How would you react??


    it is always better to under promise and over deliver. so enjoy the surprise.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 03, 2009 5:35 PM GMT
    nysexy saidI got a question here...what if a guy who represents himself as average looking, in average shape with average looking kinda out of shape pics of himself on his profile ends up being this gorgeous hunk of a man who is now in incredible shape but never told you. He's still misrepresenting himself..but is it morally as bad as the flip side?? I ask because its happened to people and its kinda confusing.

    How would you react??


    Depends. If he's oblivious, then ok. If it was some kind of test, then the hell with him.
  • islander24

    Posts: 161

    Oct 03, 2009 7:13 PM GMT
    heartrobb saidMaybe he has no recent pictures and he is not good at taking them of himself. It's not easy for some to ask a friend or neighbor to take a pic of you wearing only gym shorts or underwear for a real jock profile. You should offer to help him out.


    And maybe they were the BEFORE shots and he just hasn't gotten around to the AFTER shots.

    Amen and congratulate him.icon_biggrin.gif

    I know I don't have any pictures of myself and it took me a while to get a single picture posted. Thus I am still waiting to post my before shot in our RJ workout program
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2009 2:46 AM GMT
    well that should be a problem.
    If you went for him i assume you like average guys, with average abilities and
    average looks, who do everything average , who will take you to an average restaurant, serving you average wine and food and perform very average sex in an average bedroom.
    anything stepping out of those norms should be a terrible disappointment to you.
    you should feel cheated and tell the Adonis he's your worst nightmare.

    i'm feeling your pain already.