Weird feeling after cuming...

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    Oct 03, 2009 6:04 AM GMT
    I've had this for years now. It doesn't matter if I only jack off,have sex with a guy or even after sex with my boyfriend. After shooting I feel weird. I don't really know how to explain the feeling I guess you could say wrong. I just don't feel good... not physically but mentally? It's just feels wrong... Anybody ever had this problem? how do i get past it? Is it because I'm still not out yet?
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    Oct 03, 2009 8:59 PM GMT

    In french it's called 'la petite mort', a feeling of exhaustion after climax.

    Can you explain what 'weird' means?

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    Oct 03, 2009 9:43 PM GMT
    I would assume it's not because you are not out to the public, but to yourself. Not comfortable with the idea that you are gay. You're constantly taught that it's "wrong", whether by society or religion. I had the same feeling for a few years, somewhat like waking up next to last night's catch (not that I've had a bad experience there). Never fish heavily under the influence.

    Once the endorphin rush and pent up horniness are out after orgasm, your brain has room to think again! And, being uncomfortable with who you are, you're bound to think about what plagues you the most.

    It's called regret. This too, will pass.
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    Oct 03, 2009 9:52 PM GMT
    For a period of time, from my late teens to late 20s, when following climax from masturbation, sometimes I would suddenly lose all interest in sex, as if a switch had been thrown. It almost seemed disgusting to me, and I would quickly put away any photos or magazines I had used to stimulate me, their sight distasteful for me to look at.

    I never did learn why this happened, but it gradually stopped as I grew older, and never occurs now. I don't know if it was a guilt response, or due to a sudden change in my hormones following climax, or from something else. But it did happen to me, if this is similar to what you are describing about yourself. I was not out at the time, and in fact in total denial about being gay.
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    Oct 04, 2009 12:37 AM GMT
    Pinch your nipple. Do it now.

    Did that do anything for you? A little, maybe. Now, while you are sexually aroused, pinch your nipple. Feel any different? It probably did. Your body is a cauldron of hormones and neurotransmitters that are responsible for sexual response.

    While sexually around dozens of things happen throughout your body. Your body temperature rises, particularly around parts that feel especially good. Your heart pumps faster to deliver more blood to those regions, especially to your penis to keep you erect. The regular humdrum activities of our nervous system suddenly awake; with neurons firing at an increased rate and certain neurotransmitters in particular. Then, at the height of sexual pleasure during the orgasm, your body experiences something a bit like epilepsy. Body parts shutter and move beyond will, the heart rate increases further still, and you probably let out involuntary noises and grunts.

    Your body goes through a remarkable transformation from sitting on the couch to blowing your load. So, when you are coming down your body needs to restock all those neurotransmitters. It needs water to replenish the lost sweat and sperm. It needs a minute to relax to let the heart rate return to normal.

    Of course you feel weird. Inside you are all the composite parts of a bomb. And an orgasm is an explosion. Don't worry about it, but talk to your doctor if you are truly concerned.
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:54 AM GMT
    Two thumbs up to that advice and great description MunchingZombie!

    We're little intrigued by the word 'weird' as he's using it.

    Red Vespa's post and a few others are bringing up concepts of ingrained issues of right and wrong, so which is it, Haloo1212, or is it some of both?
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:37 PM GMT

    Munching Zombie did a great job explaining the physiology and neurology of sexual arousal. If you harbor any sense of guilt or shame about sex generally or gay sex in particular, your mind may have tendency to attribute the physical feelings of winding down and recharging after orgasm to having done something bad. Thus reinforcing your sense of guilt or shame. See if maybe you can consciously try to remind yourself that sex is healthy and meant to feel good. It's a gift to you and to your partner(s). After a while you may find it possible to crowd out the associations with guilt and shame. But if these feelings are really bothersome and lead you to avoid sex etc, you may want to consider speaking to a therapist.
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    Oct 04, 2009 4:54 PM GMT
    MunchingZombi... I am disagree with you a lot, but glad you are here. That was a good post. And i agree with the ^ you can easily mistake that feeling of exhaustion with guilt. It will go away after a while.
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    Oct 05, 2009 2:33 AM GMT
    Haloo1212 saidI've had this for years now. It doesn't matter if I only jack off,have sex with a guy or even after sex with my boyfriend. After shooting I feel weird. I don't really know how to explain the feeling I guess you could say wrong. I just don't feel good... not physically but mentally? It's just feels wrong... Anybody ever had this problem? how do i get past it? Is it because I'm still not out yet?



    It's a possibility that you are feeling guilty. Is this it?
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    Oct 05, 2009 2:29 PM GMT
    [quote]
    It's a possibility that you are feeling guilty. Is this it?[/quote]

    kinda ya
  • GQjock

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    Oct 05, 2009 4:39 PM GMT
    This is very common ....

    There is a chemical change in our bodies after we have an orgasm
    and there are transmitters in our brain and bodies that make you feel tired number one and relaxed
    IF for any reason thru society or your family you associate bad things with gay sex or just sex in general
    then you're going to assoc the feelings of guilt and dispair with this chemical change
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    Oct 06, 2009 2:39 AM GMT
    As long as you don't see Dead people you are ok.