One Night Stand: Is it slutty?

  • UBdevil_doc

    Posts: 24

    Oct 04, 2009 12:55 PM GMT
    This is going to be the longest stretch I've been single and I'm totally cool with that. The other night I brought a guy home from the coffee shop where I have been studying all day. I told him if we went to my place that we would keep everything PG, off course being gay that means alot of kissing and grinding. I never gave in to presssure of sex, but I feel like I should have. Now, I feel like they lost interest and were only interested in fucking. I've been out of the social loop so don't even know what the norm is anymore. I'm personally content with being single, I know my hand never complains, but is fucking on the first night slutty?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:15 PM GMT
    What is this? Pretty in Pink?

    If you're an adult you should be able to make a judgment call about your own sexual behaviour.
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:26 PM GMT
    Putting out on the first "date" doesn't make you slutty. Taking a guy home from the coffee shop and not putting out makes you a prude. I would have lost interest to, to be frank.
  • UBdevil_doc

    Posts: 24

    Oct 04, 2009 1:29 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidWhat is this? Pretty in Pink?

    If you're an adult you should be able to make a judgment call about your own sexual behaviour.



    You missed the point.... I was asking for an opnion. Thanks for the obvious
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:31 PM GMT
    Agree with redheadguy, jprichva & dancerjack: not slutty. Or it had better not be, because I would have been a prime slut myself, back in my own single days.

    I took plenty of guys to bed the first night, usually my bed. Some I never saw again, others I dated from that moment, for as long as 2 years, and I remain friends and stay in touch with several of them. Which also applies to them regarding me, needless to say. And one guy I bedded at our first meeting (his bed that time) became my partner, which tragically only ended because he died.

    That doesn't mean I went to bed with every guy I met or dated. Some I didn't let within 100 feet of my sheets, not ever, especially as I got to know them better, and then broke it off. No, don't criticize yourself, just because you have 1-night stands. Rather, I wonder more about the guys who DON'T -- seriously.
  • UBdevil_doc

    Posts: 24

    Oct 04, 2009 1:32 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidPutting out on the first "date" doesn't make you slutty. Taking a guy home from the coffee shop and not putting out makes you a prude. I would have lost interest to, to be frank.


    I guess i have different morals than you..... rather be a prude then icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:33 PM GMT
    Call me old-fashioned but I expect one-night-stands to include sex.icon_lol.gif

    If you are not putting out because you don't want to, that is your prerogative and ok. On top of that, you explained to the guy that no sex was going to happen in advance, so he could have backed out before going home with you. The guy probably thought you were joking or that he could convince you to have sex, or whatever.

    Question is to me, why do you think it is slutty to have sex on the first night and why do you think being a slut is a problem? icon_twisted.gif

    Just keep doing what feels right to you.icon_exclaim.gif
  • jeffper1

    Posts: 148

    Oct 04, 2009 1:34 PM GMT
    days of one niters are over for me....but did it alot
    sometimes 3 4 5 times a nite. but it's what you wanna make of it
    do it you feel the need...just protect yourself.
    also i went thru a period where i thought i not good....but hey, i did it
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:35 PM GMT
    UBdevil_doc said
    dancerjack saidPutting out on the first "date" doesn't make you slutty. Taking a guy home from the coffee shop and not putting out makes you a prude. I would have lost interest to, to be frank.


    I guess i have different morals than you..... rather be a prude then icon_smile.gif



    bitch, please. you asked for opinions - it looks like you're getting them. welcome to realjock.
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:37 PM GMT
    Let's be honest. We've all done it, we've all enjoyed it. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you were safe and made no false promises of undying love or whatever. Therefore there's no cause to take to an internet forum to do public penance.

    I'd be concerned about it only if it was becoming my standard way of introducing myself to anyone I've just met.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 04, 2009 1:37 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidPutting out on the first "date" doesn't make you slutty. Taking a guy home from the coffee shop and not putting out makes you a prude. I would have lost interest to, to be frank.


    He said up front to the guy there would be no sex and he still came home with him. I'm guessing he wasn't expecting honesty.
  • UBdevil_doc

    Posts: 24

    Oct 04, 2009 1:38 PM GMT
    bernd saidCall me old-fashioned but I expect one-night-stands to include sex.icon_lol.gif

    If you are not putting out because you don't want to, that is your prerogative and ok. On top of that, you explained to the guy that no sex was going to happen in advance, so he could have backed out before going home with you. The guy probably thought you were joking or that he could convince you to have sex, or whatever.

    Question is to me, why do you think it is slutty to have sex on the first night and why do you think being a slut is a problem? icon_twisted.gif

    Just keep doing what feels right to you.icon_exclaim.gif




    Well I guess I am old fashioned. Sex for me = love. I'm not your average gay guy I guess. Oh well
  • _gingin

    Posts: 116

    Oct 04, 2009 1:42 PM GMT
    UBdevil_doc said
    bernd saidCall me old-fashioned but I expect one-night-stands to include sex.icon_lol.gif

    If you are not putting out because you don't want to, that is your prerogative and ok. On top of that, you explained to the guy that no sex was going to happen in advance, so he could have backed out before going home with you. The guy probably thought you were joking or that he could convince you to have sex, or whatever.

    Question is to me, why do you think it is slutty to have sex on the first night and why do you think being a slut is a problem? icon_twisted.gif

    Just keep doing what feels right to you.icon_exclaim.gif




    Well I guess I am old fashioned. Sex for me = love. I'm not your average gay guy I guess. Oh well


    then this topic is really irrelevant. you just answered your own question. way to go!
  • UBdevil_doc

    Posts: 24

    Oct 04, 2009 1:42 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidLet's be honest. We've all done it, we've all enjoyed it. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you were safe and made no false promises of undying love or whatever. Therefore there's no cause to take to an internet forum to do public penance.

    I'd be concerned about it only if it was becoming my standard way of introducing myself to anyone I've just met.



    Thanks for proper etiquette update
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:42 PM GMT
    Timberoo said
    dancerjack saidPutting out on the first "date" doesn't make you slutty. Taking a guy home from the coffee shop and not putting out makes you a prude. I would have lost interest to, to be frank.


    He said up front to the guy there would be no sex and he still came home with him. I'm guessing he wasn't expecting honesty.



    what, people actually mean that when they say it? that isn't my experience. AT ALL.
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:43 PM GMT
    UBdevil_doc said
    Well I guess I am old fashioned. Sex for me = love. I'm not your average gay guy I guess. Oh well


    Maybe then taking the guys home on the first night is not the best course of action. To me that sends the message of sex being in the cards. Go on a couple of dates in public before you bring him home.
  • UBdevil_doc

    Posts: 24

    Oct 04, 2009 1:44 PM GMT
    _gingin said
    UBdevil_doc said
    bernd saidCall me old-fashioned but I expect one-night-stands to include sex.icon_lol.gif

    If you are not putting out because you don't want to, that is your prerogative and ok. On top of that, you explained to the guy that no sex was going to happen in advance, so he could have backed out before going home with you. The guy probably thought you were joking or that he could convince you to have sex, or whatever.

    Question is to me, why do you think it is slutty to have sex on the first night and why do you think being a slut is a problem? icon_twisted.gif

    Just keep doing what feels right to you.icon_exclaim.gif




    Well I guess I am old fashioned. Sex for me = love. I'm not your average gay guy I guess. Oh well


    then this topic is really irrelevant. you just answered your own question. way to go!


    Nope you missed the point too
  • UBdevil_doc

    Posts: 24

    Oct 04, 2009 1:47 PM GMT
    bernd said
    UBdevil_doc said
    Well I guess I am old fashioned. Sex for me = love. I'm not your average gay guy I guess. Oh well


    Maybe then taking the guys home on the first night is not the best course of action. To me that sends the message of sex being in the cards. Go on a couple of dates in public before you bring him home.


    Your 100% right.... I just made sure I was honest and upfront before we went.
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:53 PM GMT
    If he was only interested in fucking he would have lost interest regardless of whether or not you put out. Being a slut isn't wrong if you both want to do it, but if sex = love for you, then clearly you don't want to do it. So don't give into the pressure.
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    Oct 04, 2009 1:58 PM GMT
    Not slutty, and usually not very fulfilling either.
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    Oct 04, 2009 2:02 PM GMT
    asulikeit saidNot slutty, and usually not very fulfilling either.


    depends on the coffe shop ;)
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    Oct 04, 2009 2:04 PM GMT
    dancerjack said
    asulikeit saidNot slutty, and usually not very fulfilling either.


    depends on the coffe shop ;)


    You haven't been to Amsterdam, do you?
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    Oct 04, 2009 2:27 PM GMT
    UBdevil_doc saidWell I guess I am old fashioned. Sex for me = love. I'm not your average gay guy I guess. Oh well


    Oh geez. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Then why are you even asking? You seem to want someone to tell you it's slutty. That's obviously how you feel so why bother with opinions?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 04, 2009 2:36 PM GMT
    Everyone is different and your going to get different assessments about what
    behavior is slutty and what isn't.

    My suggestion is do what makes you the most comfortable. If thats screwing him on the first date (date?) then so be it. If its a "date" and you want to get to know him and sex is off the table then take that course of action. If its a mix, if its a PG... then thats cool.

    If he isn't interested in spending time with you after a "PG evening" on the first date, I would cancel his ass and there wouldn't be a second date.
    Of course for me, I'm an angel on the first, then attack on the second.

    icon_twisted.gif
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Oct 04, 2009 2:41 PM GMT
    I have been with hundreds of men , or probably thousands (honestly) in the "one night stand " situation. I been doing it ever since high school , and I dont think I will stop anytimes soon. Most of the men I meet only into it for sex, anyway. Living in a country where homosexuality is illegal, one night stand is about as good as it got. You cant get married, you have no future together, most gay men will get married to a women anyway, why bother with all this courting and playing hard to get.

    If that mean I am the sluttiest whore then, I guess I am.