To be a Republican you need to believe that:

  • cowboyupnorth

    Posts: 264

    Dec 14, 2007 4:51 AM GMT
    To be a Republican you need to believe that:

    1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton

    2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him; a bad guy when Bush's
    Daddy made war on him; a good guy when Cheney did business with him and
    a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

    3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
    with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

    4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
    highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

    5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
    multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
    without regulation.

    6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
    speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

    7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

    8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies,
    then demand their cooperation and money.

    9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
    health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies
    have the best interests of the public at heart.

    10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
    creationism should be taught in schools.

    11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
    offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
    thousands die is solid defense policy.

    12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
    Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
    Internet.

    13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
    George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

    14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
    conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers
    for your recovery.

    15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born,
    who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity).

    16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest,
    but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.

    17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for
    wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

    If you don't send this to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be
    stuck with more Republicans in '08.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 7:07 AM GMT
    So true it hurts!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 8:13 AM GMT
    Come on! Change it to Neo-con and you are right. Not all republicans are like this (I hope).

    In fact, Ken Miller, who is a major opponent of intelligent design and a great scientist, seems to have some republican leanings.

    It's the neo-cons! They are the devil!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 10:50 AM GMT
    HAHAHA! I don't care who ya are but that's funny.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 14, 2007 11:11 AM GMT
    Very well put... and happens to be devastatingly true
    and coming from someone as sexy as you cowboy makes it all the bettericon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 11:47 AM GMT
    and the world was created in 6 days and adam and eve walked the earth with their pet t-rex. praise be. hallelujah!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 11:53 AM GMT
    we should add being against abortion, but fall for killing the doctors who perform them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 3:11 PM GMT
    Eh those dirty neo-cons.

    Almost as bad as socialist democrats.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 3:31 PM GMT
    icon_redface.gif Sigh,

    icon_cry.gificon_cry.gif I weep, weep, for the party of Lincoln, Grant, Roosevelt:, Coolidge, and Eisenhower..


    <object width=">

    How did the party of egalitarianism and progress fall so far into the Abyss....

  • cowboyupnorth

    Posts: 264

    Dec 14, 2007 5:41 PM GMT
    GQJock

    You make me blushicon_redface.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 6:22 PM GMT
    What It Takes to Be a Good Democrat:a commie-flag
    -----------------------------------
    Unable to “hash” out a coherent, unified position on any issue, Democrats are fielding a variety of leftist ideas this election season. Such campaign promises include taxing funerals, reducing the child tax credit for middle class families, and letting pedophiles live near schools so they can vote -- for Democrats. Never forget the chief campaign promise of Democrats: take our quasi-socialist government and institute full-blown Marxism.

    While Democrats claim to oppose Communism, their actions tell a different story. Efforts to nationalize industries, establish a single-payer healthcare system, and abolish all references to God are indicative of their quest for a utopia based in secularism and excessive equality. All of this war for ideas, of course, is won in America’s public school classrooms, where teachers promote “open-mindedness” by displaying portraits of Che Guevara. The rhetoric is of course cloaked in moderation. Fear of lynching by the American public prevents Democrats from saying what they truly believe.

    Despite conclusions by political pundits of all stripes that the 2004 election was a referendum on values, Democrats seem more hell-bent than ever on moving the Party further to the left, as is evidenced by their selection of nut job Howard Dean as Party spokesman. Polls may show public dissatisfaction with the Republican Congress, but dissatisfaction with the minority Party is even greater. The last time the minority had a lower satisfaction rating than the majority was -- wait, that’s actually never happened before.

    The inability to articulate a political platform palatable to the American public leaves Democrats stooping to new lows each passing day. Pinning their hopes on a cut-and-run strategy in the war on terror leaves them clamoring to whip the Caucus into line. In fact, minor signs of bipartisanship and independence by members of Democratic Party are a death sentence via mob lynching for the perpetrator. Such an execution resembles a Purple Haze fan club gathering.

    Unable to win at the ballot box, Democrats of late have increasingly relied on the federal courts to implement their agenda. Judges who stick to the Constitution are labeled extremists, bigots, and a slew of racial epithets. However, the control of the judiciary seems to be slipping from the Democrats. Recent State Supreme Court rulings in heavily Democratic states such as New York and Washington have dealt serious blows to efforts to redefine marriage.

    Left with few options, Democrats have resorted to internal political witch hunts in an effort to seize control of the country. Former Democratic Vice-Presidential candidate and longtime Sen. Joe Lieberman (D.-Conn.) was beat out by a primary challenger as a result of his support for Jewish causes, like the defeat of Islamofascism. Support for the war in Iraq, coupled with criticism of Democrats and St. Clinton’s sex escapades landed him in hot water with burnt-out ‘60s radicals. Ned Lamont, Lieberman’s previously unknown billionaire challenger, gained a 4-point lead in the polls by criticizing a kiss Lieberman received from President Bush at this year’s State of the Union address. It is now apparent that Democrats’ ancestors were no doubt the mob of people screaming “crucify Him!” to Pontius Pilate. In fact, one of Lieberman’s campaign advisor recently told the New York Times that “there is a growing tolerance for anti-Semitism in the Progressive community.”

    Even Boy Clinton said that the plan to purge Democrats who waver from the party on one issue was the most ridiculous election strategy he’s ever heard of. Still, John Kerry declined to support Lieberman. But alas, Stalin purged his comrades, too.

    In order to be a “good Democrat” these days, one must posses a myopic obsession with personally hating the President, coupled with an appreciation for good hash and Willie Nelson songs. If deviance on one issue is all it takes to run a fellow party man up a flagpole, then McCain, Hagel, Graham, Frist, Chafee, DeWine, and Specter should all be hanging from the oaks in front of the Capitol. To the contrary, the Republican Party has always been a big-tent party where members are free to think independently. Despite our disagreements, we still respect McCain, et al as great men.

    Dig this joint, man.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2007 6:57 PM GMT
    Hey Tyler, shut your pie hole~

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



    To be a Republican, you need to believe that you are the spawn of satan.

    That and drink the blood from children...


    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 15, 2007 1:00 AM GMT
    Well ITJock... I don't think Grant or Coolidge rank very high on the scale... and you forgot Harding or Hoover and their progressive ideals.... I always thought the "Roaring 20's" were interesting.. under the leadership of Harding, Coolidge and Hoover the democrats inherited, um... the 1930's and now the democrats will get.....

    I didn't hear anything about Nixon.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 1:24 AM GMT
    Wow, I am socially liberal, fiscally moderate, and you folks are jut as bigoted as evangelicals sometimes. No matter who you are, having a political balance is good in life. Sometimes a pat on the head is better than a middle finger macro.

    From now on, no one can ever call me young and naive. I would rather be that (and allow people to have differing views) than be old(er), set in my ways and closed minded in any direction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 1:33 AM GMT
    It wasn't always true that being Republican was a shameful thing. There is room for what USED to be called conservative ideas. What calls itself conservative now, though, is simply batshit nuts.

    The Republican Party's turn to the Dark Side came when the people around Nixon decided to go after George Wallace's voters in 1968, the famous "southern strategy". At that point hatred became a permanent plank of the party. And there is a straight line from George Wallace that runs right up to Karl Rove.

    Prior to Nixon, there were haters in the party--the people who smeared and railroaded the Rosenbergs, for example, and the witch hunts of the 1950s, but that was not at the time an electoral strategy. Now you can't have a Republican campaign without someone to hate. Commies? So 1950s.... Faggots? So 2004....Today it's IMMIGRANTS. How do you like them apples, Juan Pedro Miguel?

    And SickoftheSame--being "openminded" is not a virtue when what you're being open to is a moral horror. Would you have been open to Pol Pot's side of the story?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 1:37 AM GMT
    illegal = illegal.

    Something I dislike about most democrats. Their willingness to ignore citizenship just to get more votes from newly minted americans.

    I have no problem with anyone's personal choice in politics so long as you base your decisions on reason or objective facts. Voting along your "moral" guidelines is something to be ashamed off. It's something both sides are guilty off.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 1:41 AM GMT
    I'm sorry to say this Trance, because I've actually come to like you a little, but that last statement was just idiotic.

    It isn't about partisan politics, though as a Republican I know you've been trained by the Rove to think of EVERYthing as being about partisan politics.

    Every fucking one of us here is the son or daughter of an immigrant. We were allowed to come--yes, even before there were racist "quota" laws (and look up the history of immigration quota laws, why don't you, they were all about "race"). And I don't like hypocrisy. Republicans don't seem to mind hypocrisy. In fact they seem lately to thrive on it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 1:45 AM GMT
    I edited out that middle part*

    But this isn't the 1800's Jprichva. We allowed so much immigration once because we damn well very much needed it. We needed fresh faces to work fields and then fight to save the union from splitting.

    Today we have a clear problem with government debt. Now I have no problem with legal immigration. Come here legally and I'll throw down the welcome mat. But I will not nor ever be in favor of just giving citizenship or ID's to anyone who comes over and then paying taxes to feed and nurse them. This isn't a nanny state.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 1:49 AM GMT
    I'm not arguing with "legal", Trance.

    I just think it should be ALL legal, and I don't mind your opinion, I DO mind your accusation that it's because Democrats want Mexican votes. There is a principle here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 1:50 AM GMT
    That's awfully bad news for political refugees, Trance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 1:57 AM GMT
    "And SickoftheSame--being "openminded" is not a virtue when what you're being open to is a moral horror. Would you have been open to Pol Pot's side of the story?"

    This is generally a lost distinction -- especially in media.

    Today, people like George Bush think they should be allowed to say whatever they want, no matter how untruthful, without challenge by the media. They think if Harry Reid says the sky is blue and George Bush says that it's the color of weapons of mass destruction, that the reporter is obligated, in the interest of being "balanced" and "objective," to record this without question. If the reporter notes that Bush's representation of facts is inaccurate, he's accused of bias.

    There is no "balance" or "objectivity" where the truth is being obscured without question. This is how George Bush managed to build broad public support for an invasion that hardly anyone now approves.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 3:42 AM GMT
    "Every fucking one of us here is the son or daughter of an immigrant."

    ..but not an illegal immgrant.

    For me, the issues are the illegality of the entrance into the country by the immigrants ...and the illegal employment of those immigrants.

    Allowing the illegal entrance of the immigrants both hurts the US and allows the corrupt government and social system in Mexico to persist. If the immigrants have to stay back in their own countries, those countries would be forced to address the political and social problems that are making these people come here illegally in the first place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 10:22 PM GMT
    jprichva-

    You put up a strawman argument; pick a fallacy that is harder to spot. Not only that but you put openminded in quotes, as if I said it. Do me a favor and respect what I post and don't twist it. That is very "republican" of you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 15, 2007 10:48 PM GMT
    Well, here is the deal. Immigrants actually contribute more to the economy, per capita, than many 'Americans'

    From the Fiscal Policy Institute

    21% of the population is foreign born in New York State and yet they make up over 30% of the GSP. They own homes and business at a rate higher than native born New Yorkers

    Now, if you just want to talk about illegal immigrants. They pay more in taxes than do native born Americans in the same economic class. They all pay property tax (built into rent) which pays for schools. They all pay sales tax and a majority of them pay income tax anonymously. What ever services the state provides (school, health care, etc) to undocumented workers is more than payed for with their tax money.


    So, that old yarn about us not needing immigrants, or immigrants being a burden is just not true.

    You can read the full thing here http://www.fiscalpolicy.org/immigration2007.html

    which is, of course, not to say that illegal immigration and border security is not a problem that needs to be dealt with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2007 3:08 PM GMT
    Naw sickofthesame...sometimes the middle finger is easier. You know, because you’re young, naive and dubious about what you stand for. Sounds like a you’ll be a perfect ‘republican’ in the future!

    And since you're so smart, I'm sure you can figure out what finger is being used right now!!!!

    Just kidding, do you need a hug?