MIDGETS

  • adrian305

    Posts: 3

    Oct 06, 2009 3:50 PM GMT
    This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend." I know this midget who wants to buy a horse. He has a slight speech impediment, so listen carefully, I'm sending him over." The Midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse." A female horth," the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. "Nith looking horth, can I see her mouth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth." Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes. "OK, what about the earsth?" Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows the ears." OK, finally, I'd like to see her twat." With that, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horse's twat, then pulls him out.Shaking his head, the midget says, "Perhapth I should rephrase. I'd like to see her run!"

    icon_lol.gif
  • vindog

    Posts: 1440

    Oct 06, 2009 4:07 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 4:11 PM GMT
    That's fucked up.....LMAO
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    Teriffic Tuesday Everyone! LMAO... that was awesome. Great way to start my day. =D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 7:10 PM GMT
    Pretty damn good.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 7:15 PM GMT
    I think patton oswalt is the funniest man alive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 7:16 PM GMT
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEryMTVsloE&feature=player_embedded#
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 7:19 PM GMT
    Ok, thank you for the laugh. I needed it for sure.

    ...but don't they like to be called "Little People"
  • vindog

    Posts: 1440

    Oct 06, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    Fountains saidI think patton oswalt is the funniest man alive.



    His new CD, "My Weakness is Strong," is amazing.


    Interrupting an orgy....


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 7:32 PM GMT
    Best thing I've read in here in weeks!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 10:19 PM GMT
    That's very funny and your website is wonderful.

    Check it out people.


    www.theadriangallery.com

  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Oct 06, 2009 11:14 PM GMT
    Ooooooo, you could tell jokes to me all night long, MMmmmmmmm
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2009 11:32 PM GMT
    ROTFLMAO!!!! BLAHHHH!!!!!!icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2009 4:10 PM GMT
    Share it with a friend and he sent me this one:

    A midget was working as the bathroom attendant in the men's room of a very high class restaurant. A wealthy young man enters the bathroom and proceeds to the urinal. The midget glances over and then steps over for a closer look. The wealthy man notices him as the midget drags a box closer to the urinal. He stands on the box and looks at the man's penis.

    Midget - That's the most beautiful penis I've ever seen.
    Man - er...uh... thank you.
    Midget - I mean it. It's perfect, and those balls... they're magnificent.

    The man begins to feel uncomfortable, but a piece of him can't help but feel pride for the compliments his penis is receiving.

    Midget - I hate to ask this, but I'll kick myself if you walk out of here and I don't ask.
    Man - what is it?
    Midget - well, it's kind of embarrassing. But I was hoping you can... you know... let me touch your balls. PLEASE!!!!!

    The man feels even more uncomfortable, but he sees how the midget is pleading and decides to allow him to touch his balls.

    Midget - THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!

    The midget reaches for the man's balls and caresses them in his hand.

    Midget - boy, these balls feel as good as they look.
    Man - thank you

    The man was gleaming at this point, even enjoying the feeling of the midget's hands on his testicles when all of a sudden he felt them being grabbed tightly by the midget. He looks down when the midget says...

    Midget - OK... HAND OVER YOUR WALLET AND ALL YOUR VALUABLES OR I'LL JUMP!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 08, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    This guy at a bar goes to take a leak and a midget walks up to the urinal beside him. Glancing over the guy notices that the midget is as hung as he is tall.
    The midget catches him looking and says "What the hell you looking at?"
    "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to stare. I never knew midgets were that well hung. Are all of you that way?"
    "I'm not a midget, I'm a Leprechaun. Dammit, now I have to grant you 3 wishes."
    "Really? Cool. Hm, I'd like a new Corvette."
    The Leprechaun scratches his head, snaps his fingers and says "It's sitting in the parking lot. What else do you wish?"
    "Cool! Ok, I want a blond with big tits that loves me totally."
    Again he scratches his head, snaps his fingers and says "She's in the car. Next?"
    "Wow, ok, um, let me have 10 million dollars."
    Again, scratch, snap and he says "It's in the trunk of the 'Vette."
    "Wow, that's great! Thanks, Leprechaun. I'll see you later!"
    "Hold on! That's not how this works. I'm not some Genie that you can just get stuff from and then forget about. You have to let me get something from you. You have to let me fuck you."
    "What?? Hell no! No way, man, not with that huge dick, especially."
    "Ok, but when you walk outside, no Corvette, no blond, no money. Unless you let me."

    He thinks about it and finally agrees. They go into a stall, the Leprechaun gets up on the toilet and begins to fuck the guy hard, banging his head into the stall door.
    With tears in his eyes and pain on his face, the guys says "I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me!"
    The Leprechaun scratches his head, snaps his fingers and says
    "I can't believe you think I'm a Leprechaun!"