Out growing your type

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    Oct 06, 2009 5:10 PM GMT
     

    I went down south to Austin Texas, to visit a friend and to check out the rave/club scene. We went around a few places before we heading out to the massive Intent party. So since I was new in town I wanted get a local prospective. I talked to some Random guys and everyone was very nice and friendly. I was with this one group and we started talking about guys we are attracted too. I am attracted to fun, creative, honest guys that are in a healthy shape. Now the group I was talking to was between 30-45 and they were all talking about how they wanted this Skinny, young, masculine, 21-27year old. I was pretty shocked considering that these guys basically didn't fit the mold of what they were longing for. I first asked them what do you think you have in common with someone like that? The room went silent. It made me think about what type of guy I used to like and what type of guy I like now. How has your preferences in guys changed over the years? Or have they changed at all?  
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    Oct 06, 2009 5:41 PM GMT
    Welcome to Austin, chicken capital of the south!

    Our tastes and attractions change depending on what is around us. There is an actual theory about this called the Familiarity Principle (I did learn something in college!). Austin's average age is 30.5 and the bar scene is defiantly geared towards guys in their early to mid 20s. Though youth will always have some draw, you happened to come to a city where it is king. That said, there are plenty of us in our 30s and 40s who are still looking good and enjoying men our age!
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    Oct 06, 2009 5:49 PM GMT
    I was a little afraid back when I was 19 or so that I'd end up becoming an ephebophile, like a lot of the gay guys that hit me up on-line who were in their 30s and 40s. It's been somewhat gratifying that, as I've aged, my age range of interest has proceeded apace. I still get hit on by guys in their late 30s to 60s, and I still hear the same range of comments back when I'm not interested (from "you're an asshole!" to "there's so much an older man can teach you") but I figure I'll get there when I get there.

    I do feel a little sorry for people who have self-defeating preferences, but I don't believe it's entirely a choice. Just like I can't force myself to be exclusively interested in women, or to even consider having sex with someone my father's age without getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I accept that some people are wired with an ineluctable predisposition toward younger men.
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    Oct 06, 2009 5:50 PM GMT
    These questions could fracture across categories. Sexual and romantic tastes, while often fundamentally fixed, are also situationally fluid. (Let's not even discuss how sexual tastes often contradict romantic tastes.)

    One would like to believe the sexual palette expands with age. But as super-hottie DJBens points out, environment can play a large role, as does socialization. Living in a big college town such as Austin, TX, or Columbus, OH (as I've seen with my own eyes) tends to favor a certain flavor of guy.
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    Oct 06, 2009 5:53 PM GMT
    tiren saidI was a little afraid back when I was 19 or so that I'd end up becoming an ephebophile, like a lot of the gay guys that hit me up on-line who were in their 30s and 40s. It's been somewhat gratifying that, as I've aged, my age range of interest has proceeded apace. I still get hit on by guys in their late 30s to 60s, and I still hear the same range of comments back when I'm not interested (from "you're an asshole!" to "there's so much an older man can teach you") but I figure I'll get there when I get there.

    I do feel a little sorry for people who have self-defeating preferences, but I don't believe it's entirely a choice. Just like I can't force myself to be exclusively interested in women, or to even consider having sex with someone my father's age without getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I accept that some people are wired with an ineluctable predisposition toward younger men.


    But don't forget...for every 19 yr old not interested in a 45 yr old...there wait a couple of 19 yr old who are interested in that 45 yr old.

    Behavior reinforced is behavior continued.

    It's not just the young ones who find frustration in attention from undesired age groups. What people have to realize is "something for everyone...at some point in time." So much of it is opportunity and timing.
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    Oct 06, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    I live in Austin but have to agree with DJBens77. What he said above was never more apparent than this past weekend when visiting San Francisco. The motivated, creative, fun-loving, and hot men reach into their 40s there. Austin skews towards the "marshmallow peep" type of guy a bit too much for me these days.

    As I approach 40, I'm beginning to write off guys who aren't over 30 (with very rare exceptions). I wrote a whole bunch of crap about this in my "looking for" profile section, so I won't repeat it here.

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    Oct 06, 2009 7:49 PM GMT
    My type is a good person. I really hope I never outgrow that or settle for less :/
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    Oct 06, 2009 8:01 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo7 saidMy type is a good person. I really hope I never outgrow that or settle for less :/


    I HEART Ciarsolo icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 06, 2009 8:14 PM GMT
    I don't know that my "type" has changed all that much because I have always looked at a pretty wide variety of guys and enjoyed getting to know them. What has changed for me is how I prioritize things these days. While looks and physical attraction has some to do with it, I find that "total package" compatibility is what I am looking for. That's more inward looking than outward and is a result of my past relationship experiences, good and bad. By total package compatibility I mean that there is physical attraction/chemistry, but also chemistry and compatibility mentally, intellectually, spiritually and sexually.

    Trust is by far and away the biggest factor in total package compatibility - sort of like the mortar that holds the bricks in place. Respect is also huge as is maturity. Confidence is downright sexy and class is irreplacable.

    I definitely do not want to date a clone of myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good guy with some great goals in mind and someone who enjoys life every day, but I want to be with someone who thinks perhaps differently than I and who isn't afraid to push my buttons now and then.

    I went through a "phase" if you will, in the past, where I was stuck on the whole A&F, pretty boy type. I wanted the typical blond hair, blue eyed "boy". Good looks with me used to be so much, now it's merely a door opener if that. Age used to be a big deal, now I see it for what it is - a stupid, silly and irrelevant number.

    I'd like to think that the wisdom that comes through maturity and truthfully contemplating where you've been has made a difference for the better.
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    Oct 06, 2009 9:40 PM GMT
    I used to find the Bruce Weber boys THE most attractive thing in the world, but as I got older i find some of that kind of look as rather puppyish. I also spent years in Latin America and love many of the different latino looks. I seem to attract very handsome and hot guys in their 30s. icon_biggrin.gif I still like someone a little younger if I´m being totally picky, but a little younger means up to about 5 years. hehe

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    Oct 06, 2009 9:46 PM GMT
    When i was 18 i had a thing for muscular latin guys.There is this saying that guys tend to go after guys that they dont look like. I can agree on some levels that this might be true. However, over the years i have gain interest for older men between the ages of 37 to 42, especially if they are in shape. To me theres nothing more sexy that a masculine, in shape older man. I also like the fact that some of them can be really mature and often times love to give advice about issues in life as they have already done allot with their life. The funny part is i dont see myself with a guy my age. I dont know why its just been this way for a long time. I guess it has to do with older guys are more likely to settle down ltr wise. I guess we all have our different take on what we see as compatible mates.
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    Oct 06, 2009 9:47 PM GMT
    My type is a mature guy who is open minded, adventurous, with boyish face and lean muscles, and mostly bottom. When I was younger I dated mostly older guys (up to late 30's), but after I turned 30 I started dating younger guys (25 & up). The criteria of my type have been consistent all along, however my taste in men have broadened in race and age after more positive life experiences with men of different races and ages.
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    Oct 06, 2009 9:51 PM GMT
    I'm one of those guys who's always dated my age, meaning when I turned 35, I was into 35yo's, now that I'm 44, dating a guy thats 48... Always thought that I would be one of those chicken trolls, guess with age comes wisdom...lol
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    Oct 06, 2009 9:56 PM GMT
    When I was in my teens I was interested in guys in their late 20s and in their 30s

    When I was in my 20s, 30s and 40s did it for me

    When I was in my 30s, 30s 40s and 50s did it for me

    As I grow older my age type shifts upwards

    Put me out of my misery if I start to ever date someone in their teens or 20s. When I was that age I never found the age group remotely interesting.

    I can't imagine why I would do so now, either.
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    Oct 06, 2009 10:01 PM GMT
    Yeah, my type has evolved, and I'm quite happy about it.

    When I was 16, I was scared that my tastes woud remain geared towards 16-19 year olds.

    My tastes seem to have just naturally aged.

    Probably social valorisation, or increased interest in the mental/intelligence aspect.
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    Oct 07, 2009 3:52 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo7 saidMy type is a good person. I really hope I never outgrow that or settle for less :/


    This quote reminds me of what a gal pal told me about relationships. She said " It's not always about the right thing, it's sometimes the good thing is what you need."

    I always look for the good in people I like.Now when I fantasize about my dream guy I see( Place the hot celebrity guy name here______________)

    Only in the end the way he makes me feel is the only thing that matters.

    Besides for you guys out there who ever got to be with a total package, you know they are hard to get and even harder to keep.
  • t0theheights

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    Oct 07, 2009 4:02 AM GMT
    I'm 25 and am mainly attracted to guys who are, or at least look, 18 - 25, just like I always have been. My friends who are mostly aged 28 - 45 seem to be into the same age group (18-25) for the most part. So while some people's taste progress with their age, this isn't true for every one.

    Fortunately, in SF at least there seems to be a big market of young guys (18-25) looking for older (30/35+), so my older friends continue to do quite well here. (One is 35 and hasn't managed to date or hook up with any one outside the ages of 18, 19, or 20 in a while, and I've known several 18-22 year olds dating guys who are 40+, or even 50+.) That gives me a bright outlook on the future, I guess... SF is a good place to age as a gay guy, particularly if your tastes remain younger. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 07, 2009 4:22 AM GMT
    t0theheights saidI'm 25 and am mainly attracted to guys who are, or at least look, 18 - 25, just like I always have been. My friends who are mostly aged 28 - 45 seem to be into the same age group (18-25) for the most part. So while some people's taste progress with their age, this isn't true for every one.

    Fortunately, in SF at least there seems to be a big market of young guys (18-25) looking for older (30/35+), so my older friends continue to do quite well here. (One is 35 and hasn't managed to date or hook up with any one outside the ages of 18, 19, or 20 in a while, and I've known several 18-22 year olds dating guys who are 40+, or even 50+.) That gives me a bright outlook on the future, I guess... SF is a good place to age as a gay guy, particularly if your tastes remain younger. icon_smile.gif


    Growing old in this city has it benefits.Many times older guys I know are hooking up with alot of younger guys in there 20's,I'm pretty impressed. The only problem it seems that none of these relationships rarely last.Guys my ages I think have the hardest time in the city because we are too old to be young babes, but to young to be Daddies. icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 07, 2009 4:30 AM GMT
    I've always been attracted to older guys. My 1st experience was with an older guy (family friend) which lasted just under two yrs. Although I fooled around w/ guys my age when I was in my 20's, they never excited me the was a 30+ guy did at that age.
  • t0theheights

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    Oct 07, 2009 10:10 AM GMT
    silkrock said
    t0theheights saidI'm 25 and am mainly attracted to guys who are, or at least look, 18 - 25, just like I always have been. My friends who are mostly aged 28 - 45 seem to be into the same age group (18-25) for the most part. So while some people's taste progress with their age, this isn't true for every one.

    Fortunately, in SF at least there seems to be a big market of young guys (18-25) looking for older (30/35+), so my older friends continue to do quite well here. (One is 35 and hasn't managed to date or hook up with any one outside the ages of 18, 19, or 20 in a while, and I've known several 18-22 year olds dating guys who are 40+, or even 50+.) That gives me a bright outlook on the future, I guess... SF is a good place to age as a gay guy, particularly if your tastes remain younger. icon_smile.gif


    Growing old in this city has it benefits.Many times older guys I know are hooking up with alot of younger guys in there 20's,I'm pretty impressed. The only problem it seems that none of these relationships rarely last.Guys my ages I think have the hardest time in the city because we are too old to be young babes, but to young to be Daddies. icon_sad.gif


    A new time of "tweener" discovered! haha Trust me, talk to my 34- and 35- year old friends, and you'd know you'll be just fine. ;)
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    Oct 07, 2009 12:13 PM GMT
    crtrainer said BTW - does SMH mean somethng like WTF or BTW? I can't friggin' keep up.

    Another reason why it's better to date within one's own demographic.
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    Oct 07, 2009 1:10 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo7 saidMy type is a good person. I really hope I never outgrow that or settle for less :/


    Forgive an old man for saying something presumptuous.icon_smile.gif What you say is a potentially noble sentiment. My guess from your picture, though, (and from what I know of men generally) is that you look for a person like yourself: good on the inside and beautiful on the outside as well. See if the person you go out with on your next date does not match up with this description better than the one you give in the quote above.

    I want to make an argument for beauty. There is nothing wrong with beauty. Why should we not want a life partner who is both good and beautiful? That was certainly my choice and I have never regretted it.

    Our tastes can change. I have to say that mine haven't. In men, for as long as I can remember, and now I'm 45, I have been into hunks, of whatever type and age. And of course, he should have a Beautiful Mind as well!

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