I can't even "fuck buddy" right.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2009 1:49 PM GMT
    I've been single for just about 2 years now after an 8 year relationship. This year I decided it was time to start looking for a guy to call my own again. To say dating has been a disappointment would be putting it mildly.

    So, after one mini-drama after another, I've decided to give dating a rest and do what I swore I wouldn't do. I decided it would be best to just find one or two fuck buddies to just have some fun and leave it at that. Finding FB's took pretty much zero effort by the way.

    Some of you I'm sure all ready know where this is going, I'm sure.

    The two guys I've started to regular with are now calling me and email me everyday wanting to hang out, get to know each other yadda yadda. One calls me in the morning to say "good morning sunshine, I woke up thinking about you" the other says he's got a serious man crush going.

    WHAT THE FUCK......SERIOUSLY!

    You have got to be kidding me right....Can someone please explain this to me?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2009 1:52 PM GMT
    Not everyone can separate their emotions from their sex drive. The heart and the dick are both part of the same person.
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    Oct 10, 2009 2:06 PM GMT
    @crtrainer - Correct. I just want NSA fun right now.
    @theantijock - Oh no, this is not a complaint, I am just confused why one action yields the opposite effect.
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    Oct 10, 2009 2:27 PM GMT

    Hey GaFUZZ, In some ways this is how I met Bill.

    No FBs though. What happened is I decided to just meet people and enjoy that for what it was. After many failed relationships and attempts, I'd reached a point where I had more or less shelved the idea.

    I didn't see it coming.


    Perhaps the 'vibes' I put out were an attitude of being self contained and not needing on an emotional level, which can come out in speech, and the way I had been looking at men (body language), lol; no eyes boring into their faces full with the intensity of searching.

    Slightly aloof attracted them in the way quiet confidence does.

    I can see that happening when someone's just looking just for FBs, though I never had one or thought to.

    So now, unexpectedly, it's happening to you. How quickly can you 'shift gears'? heheh, I think that flexibility could be an asset in this case.

    Awake, heart. Romance seeks you. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug of meninlove (Bill still zzzzzzzz upstairs)
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Oct 10, 2009 3:06 PM GMT
    when i met my bf of 14 months; i also was just looking for a FB. as was he. we both had been burnt too many times. i had given up on finding "love", whatever the hell that was.

    because of our variable work schedule, we could hook up as often as once a week or as little as once every 6 weeks.

    we met online, agreed to meet in person at a local bar. that night we has sex. it was enjoyable enough that i considered him FB potential the next morning. as did he. we both admitted out loud that FB status was all we wanted from the other.

    the fourth time we had sex he agreed out loud that we had a good FB thing going on.

    the sixth time we had sex i started to re-evaluate the FB status i held him in. i was starting to like him as much out of bed as in bed. when we parted company the next day he teared up as we kissed goodbye.

    4 months into the FB thing, after an emotionally intense and sexually satisfying session; someone mumbled "i love you". shit...the someone was me! instead of grabbing his clothes and running for the door, as i feared he would, instead, he smiled at me as leaked tears out of his eyes and held me tight against him and then fell asleep with his head on my chest.

    the next time we had sex HE used the "L" word on ME. I started leaking fluid out of the corner of my eyes.

    there's been ups and downs in the emotion levels, several misunderstandings, a couple of internet fights...but we are still together and using the "L" word on a daily basis. icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

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    Oct 10, 2009 3:17 PM GMT
    LMFAO-------just go with the flow..play along....but then again if you told them from the jump that your only looking for fun they wouldn't be calling you often. Thats where you probably went wrong.
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    Oct 10, 2009 5:35 PM GMT
    I have a lot of fuck buddies and have been in your situation. Just tell them you are not interested in anything more than just fucking. Simple. They will never call you again or just call when they are horny. Problem solved.
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    Oct 10, 2009 6:48 PM GMT
    Sounds u haven't been HONEST bro...just tell them u r fukkin 4 da hell of iticon_eek.gif The sex will stop, the emails will stop, and then the calls will stopicon_lol.gif
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    Oct 10, 2009 6:52 PM GMT
    I see all these threads here where guys can't find a date and you are fighting them off and complaining about it. It is the gay community, so just tell them you voted for John McCain and you will probably never hear from them again.
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    Oct 10, 2009 7:33 PM GMT
    its life... if uve done stuff with someone thts wats gunan happenthey r gunna strt to have feelings for you.
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    Oct 10, 2009 8:24 PM GMT
    Great story mch!! Does he have any brothers??icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2009 8:35 PM GMT
    So what is the definition of a fuck bud? Are you allowed to do anything except fuck? Do you have to leave right his place after you cum? Can you ever be seen in public together?
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Oct 10, 2009 8:39 PM GMT
    Hum, sounds like you've got something good down thereicon_wink.gif
    Just go with the flow and enjoy it, when your 80 you can look back and say' i had 2 hunks fighting over me in my day, yes sir ree bob''...........icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 10, 2009 8:56 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like it's these OTHER guys who can't fuck buddy right. THEY'RE the ones who are breaking the fuck buddy rules, not you. Which means, if fuck buddies are what you want right now, you need to find some better, who are genuine, strict definition fuck buddies.
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    Oct 10, 2009 9:09 PM GMT
    I had a FB fall for me, too. Bi-, engaged, wealthy family...all the reasons to keep it DL.
    The 4th time we hooked up ( he was into 'rape scenes' ) he stayed over instead of leaving. In the morning he told me he couldn't "do this anymore, I enjoyed cuddling with you as we slept." Thankfully he knew where it was headed and didn't want to go there. No mess, no fuss.
    End of FB. Married his fiance', has 3 kids now. I see him every few years and we both just nod to each other.
    Don't know what to tell you, budd. It takes 2 to FB. Either one gets emotional, then it's not a FB relationship anymore and can get complicated.
    Gonna get flamed for this, but I think Bi guys are the safest bet. Or Married.
    I'd never do that, simply because of one small word ..."subpoena"....but to each his own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2009 9:11 PM GMT
    rnch said.but we are still together and using the "L" word on a daily basis.


    You call each other "Lesbians"? icon_lol.gificon_cool.gif
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    Oct 10, 2009 9:13 PM GMT
    heartrobb saidI see all these threads here where guys can't find a date and you are fighting them off and complaining about it. It is the gay community, so just tell them you voted for John McCain and you will probably never hear from them again.


    LMAO. If that doesn't work, tell them you think Sarah Plain is a intelligent woman and you hope she runs for President soon.



    If you can force that big a lie out your throat.LOL
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Oct 10, 2009 10:24 PM GMT
    Luckydog76 saidGreat story mch!! Does he have any brothers??icon_wink.gif
    he has 3 brothers...but all three are "hopelessly hetero". icon_neutral.gif
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    Oct 10, 2009 10:36 PM GMT

    Sounds like you may have solved your dating problem. icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 10, 2009 11:11 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite said
    heartrobb saidI see all these threads here where guys can't find a date and you are fighting them off and complaining about it. It is the gay community, so just tell them you voted for John McCain and you will probably never hear from them again.


    LMAO. If that doesn't work, tell them you think Sarah Plain is a intelligent woman and you hope she runs for President soon.



    If you can force that big a lie out your throat.LOL


    That's a lie I know I could not pull off as I can barely even bring myself to speak her name. I do not like anything about her... that is except for that hot looking husband of hers. How did she pull that off? And that Levi also. Dang, those Palin women know how to find the hot guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2009 11:24 PM GMT
    Because you don't care. There is something sexy and appealing about a guy who is confident and can take it or leave it. If you were interested they would be running....most likely.
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    Oct 10, 2009 11:34 PM GMT
    lmao this is hilarious, oh man, u know what? whateverrrr....unless you really see any future in a relationship with any of them.
  • gcoastmark

    Posts: 83

    Nov 28, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    Just found this post as I'm trying to understand the rules of the road here? There have been a number of posts on the topic but I'm looking for the concensus on the rules? Is a happy birthday ok? What if one is looking and the other isn't?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2011 3:10 AM GMT
    Isn't fuck buddy just going to make you feel emptier in the end? icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2011 3:13 AM GMT
    HAHAHAHAHA sounds to me like you have a little problem thereicon_lol.gif