Have you ever been "GAY BASHED"?

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    Dec 15, 2007 3:11 AM GMT
    As in have you ever been physically attacked and beaten up, because someone thought, or found out, that you are gay? Where, what, when and why do you think it happened?

    I was attacked and beaten up in Ft Wayne, Indiana in August 2000. I had taken a job in that city as an Urban Planner, with the City governemnt. I had just finished several hours of my pre-employment physical and orientation. I was going out to my Truck when two guys jumped me and beat and kicked me on the ground. I had a very small rainbow window sticker on my back window. They must have figured it out and waited for me. As they were attacking me they were yelling,..."we don't need no more of you Ohio FAGS trying to make our kids gay!" When they left me, I wanted to call for help, but there was no phone around, and my cell phone had been destroyed in the attack, so I got in my truck to go to an urgent care. As I was driving to get onto I-69, the two guys were in a truck, and started to chase me. They cut me off and blocked traffic on the interstate in a narrow construction zone, long enough to throw multiple cinder blocks at my truck. They damaged my truck heavily. smashed the windshield, and headlights, smashed up the hood and the front side pannels. I thought they were done and pulled off the highway onto a ramp, and they were coming at me again! My truck was still in running condition, so I got off the highway into the city, where they chased me until, I got into a large mall parking lot. I went into the mall and called the police. They would not help, not even take a report, because the vehicle used to attack me had a paper temp plate and they said they couldn't trace it. The only one that did help me in Ft. Wayne was a State Farm Insurance agent. I got my injuries tended...they were minimal and very superficial. I drove back to Columbus and called the City of Ft.Wayne Human Resources office and resigned from a job that I hadn't even worked yet. I told them why and what happened. The lady I spoke with was stunned and speechless. My "almost" administrator, called me back and attempted to talk me back into the position, but he understood my reasons after I told him the entire story. I have not been back to Ft. Wayne since. This was really ugly and I am still cautious about where I park, any "logo's" on me or my vehicles and where my phones are. Be careful out there!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16305

    Dec 15, 2007 3:22 AM GMT
    Sporty,
    What a horrible experience... gay, straight, black, white, man, woman.... any attack is outragious.
    I'm sorry you had to go through something as horrific as that... alone.. and in a city you were hoping to make your new home.

    Did you get counseling for that attack? When I ask that, I mean did you at least talk it out with family or friends and express how you felt? I hope so and that you were in the company of people who love you.

    Me? Never had an issue like that. Not sure how I'd react, but I think we all should think carefully about what we would do if we were attacked and react accordingly.

    I appreciate your post. Its something always to be concerned about.
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    Dec 15, 2007 12:52 PM GMT
    I've been bashed for every other reason but sexuality.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Dec 15, 2007 12:55 PM GMT
    Wow...that's awful
    I'm sorry that you had to go thru that

    I'm also shocked and more than a little pissed that the police told you that they couldn't DO ANYTHING?
    I need to ask did you file a complaint with the police?
    and then go to the local paper?
    Also ... I know this happened a while ago
    and in the heat of it all you didn't realize but this needs to be reported to a Federal official - the local Congressman or woman
    Federal charges may apply
    and lastly...report it to one of the Gay News services
    the Washington Blade for example

    we can't let things like this go unpunished
  • waltex

    Posts: 140

    Dec 15, 2007 1:22 PM GMT
    BACK IN 2001, I WAS WALKING ON SOUTH BEACH AROUND 7PM. I WAS WALKING ON COLLINS AND 16 - A BUSY BLOCK. A VAN PULLED UP AND THE DOORS OPENED AND GUYS WITH BASEBALL BATS WERE ABOUT TO JUMP OUT. SUDDENLY THE DOORS SLAMMED SHUT AND THEY DROVE OFF. AHEAD OF THEM. I NOTICED THERE WERE A FEW COP CARS. THEY MUST HAVE NOTICED THE POLICE AND DROVE AWAY.

    SOUTH BEACH 10 YEARS AGO WAS A GAY MECCA. NOW IT'S A COMBINATION OF HIGH PRICED CONDOS AND THUG LIFE.
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    Dec 15, 2007 3:29 PM GMT
    Just a thought - Did you ever describe the people or vehicle to your potential employer or the Ft Wayne PD?

    If there were no obvious cues, and you were in a place where you were relatively unknown... The beating might have had more to do with your getting the job than it did with being gay - that might just have been the pretext that they used.

    I know, I have a nasty, suspicious mind.

    ----------------------------------------------------


    In 1992 I was in a gay bar in Albany, NY when some teenage punks decided to start throwing rocks. They smashed the bars full length windows, and hit several patrons, including myself (2x). The bartender called the police immediately - while we were still getting stoned.

    Forty minutes later the police did show up; and told us there was nothing they could do, and that it was just some teenagers. The the lead cop told us that we had probably incited them and that we shouldn't 'flaunt' ourselves the way we did.

    In 1995 I had just come out of a bar in Atlanta late one night, and was walking around the corner and down the street to my car, when three college age guys pulled up in a car, jumped out, and proceeded to attack me. One guy had a baseball bat.

    Chuckle, they picked on the wrong faggot. I know how to fight, and I fight dirty. I took the bat away from the one guy, decked all three, then proceeded to smash their headlights and widshield. One guy tried to pick himself up and get away; his directional sense must have been badly impaired, because he smashed his head into the car door. The third guy did manage to run away (maybe he was the one who actually called the cops). The cops were actually quite understanding, they heard my story and told me to 'get lost'.




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    Dec 15, 2007 8:23 PM GMT
    waltex
    interesting to see your posting. Cause my partner had partner died of gay bashing in south beach 10 some yrs ago.
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    Dec 15, 2007 9:20 PM GMT
    Yea, I have...don't care to go into details about it though. Let's just say one of my friends outed me at this huge party with a bunch of drunk rednecks. Another time, I was living at the beach with my bf. People around the apartment knew about us I'm sure, they would key our car, write "FAG" or "QUEERS" on the door, threw shit through our windows. We finally had to move. Then there's my mom. I grew up having 2 moms, and people at school knew about this...I got teased alot, had to switch schools a few times. Never really had any friends because of it. There are a few more, granted my stories aren't hardcore bashing, but it's hard all the same. I realize that there are some cruel, ignorant people in the world, but that stuff makes you stronger and wiser as an individual.
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    Dec 15, 2007 10:08 PM GMT
    Well, I didn't have any experience like that, but one guy at my school spreads the word that I'm gay, even though I don't act feminine, I try to act straight as much as possible, because you don't really want to come out in a small conservative country as my country is.
    Anyways, those guys' rumors really had an effect, because I get teased and excluded from events that those 'cool', straight guys organise.
    However I do have some friends that make it easier, but they don't know I'm gay. Keeps things simple, actually. And as lilmaninsc says, it makes you stronger.
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    Dec 15, 2007 11:20 PM GMT
    Multiple times - once, in a bar in Memphis - some bikers came in an roughed up some of the patrons, me included - result: deviated septum.

    Next time your usual hassling on the street - but I got away with minimal problems.

    The next two times were with Law Enforcement - first, an LA County Sherriff who stopped me and gave me trouble because I looked like I was "driving naked" - I was in a yellow tanktop. The most recent was with an Oklahoma State Trooper who pulled us over, separated us, put me in the squad car and interrogated us while additional troopers circled around looking for trouble to start. Eventually he let me go with a "warning" trumped up to cover the stop - no ticket. Took about 45 minutes and scared the crap out of us.

    That was on my last trip through Oklahoma. I wouldn't send my worst enemy back to that state.....
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    Jan 01, 2008 3:42 AM GMT
    Man,I'm sorry any of you have had to experience that crap. I'd love to find those dickwads that bashed you and while you hold their arms behind their back I'd kick them in the balls with my pointed high heels and grab their nutsack in my hand and squeeze while digging in with my long sharp glossy red fingernails and say: "Here M-F-er, look at my pretty girlish face and never forget this: now you can tell all your homophobic jackwad pig pals that you got f-ed by a limp wristed mincing total weakling sissy wuss pussy femmy girlyboy in the worst way!" and I would not release them until they cried out whatever any of you guys might want them to say. At very least I'd like to videotape their face saying something like: "please, please, please give it to me in my ___!" and then put that on YouTube along with their full name so that it comes up as a hit whenever anyone googles their name. I was lucky but also very careful to never get found out because had I been I most certainly would have been beaten to death. I know that at least three football jocks at my High School wanted to pummel the daylights out of me. They even had the head JV cheerleader try to trick me into dressing as her for the homecoming rally to see if I got off on dressing up as a girl. I never even did anything to piss them off or confirm their suspicions about me, they just hated me because I had long hair, a pretty face, and did not play any sports. Other than that I acted as though I was all-boy.
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    Jan 01, 2008 3:49 AM GMT
    "Chuckle, they picked on the wrong faggot. I know how to fight, and I fight dirty. I took the bat away from the one guy, decked all three, then proceeded to smash their headlights and widshield. One guy tried to pick himself up and get away; his directional sense must have been badly impaired, because he smashed his head into the car door. The third guy did manage to run away (maybe he was the one who actually called the cops). The cops were actually quite understanding, they heard my story and told me to 'get lost'."

    Right F-ing on! I would have loved to have gotten that on tape.
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Jan 01, 2008 3:49 AM GMT
    i have never been physically attacked, but I was a high school teacher for 10 years. I was never out in the work place but I did have my face pic on sites like this one. I started getting weird and kind of threatening phone calls from people alluding to my sexuality. I always assumed it was parents from the school I worked at.
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    Jan 10, 2008 5:10 PM GMT
    the problem is universal and the community must support the gay members of there community. we have to have tolerance, understanding and respect to call our comunities inclusive. i feel the education of the young, to understan equality and diversity issues must be tought in the schools. understanding of culture and life style choices will help in combating intolerance and hate.
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    Jan 10, 2008 5:54 PM GMT
    I was gay bashed once when I was leaving kendo (a martial art) practice.

    A word of advice to gay bashers. Don't pick on the queer with wooden swords, it wont end well.
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Jan 10, 2008 6:11 PM GMT
    WOW... crazy stories. I've never been through anything like that, obviously, because I'm not out, but even when I've been to other cities and out at gay bars/clubs, nothing like this has ever happened to me, thank GOD! I don't know what I would do, I had a rough upbringing so I know how to defend myself, but it has been such a long time since I've had to resort to beating someone up until I know I probably would be shocked at first. And then I'd get over it and try to beat the shit outta them. LOL
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    Jan 10, 2008 6:20 PM GMT
    Wow my heart goes out to you guys that have suffered this.

    I have been attempted to get gay bashed a couple of times and end up straight bashing thankfully. I think the funniest one was down to a particularly mouthy boyfriend and we were walking along the street and a car full of young asians yelled out the window fucking poofs and threw a can of lager at us, my then other half yelled nah Im fucking a poof now piss of you ugly frustrated cnuts!

    I kinda just braced myself as the car screeched to a halt so I walked straight over the first guy out of the car came straight at me as the others were getting out of the car with bats, I just walked straight up looking him in the eye and nutted him. He went down like a sack of spuds, the others dropped their bats dragged him into the car and sped off.

    I dont fight Im a lover not a fighter but Im a rugger player, still at heart, and no one pisses with this bitch and ruins my moonlit stroll :-)
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    Jan 10, 2008 6:32 PM GMT
    I was gay bashed once . . . and only once . . . by, now don;t laugh . . a carload of girls . . .

    walking down the street doing nothing "gay" and this group of girls actually stopped the car and got out and started throwing Rocks and bottles at me . . . I busted up laughing cuz it was frikkin hilarious . . and the cop who was sitting right there watching them thought it was humorous too . . . as he was arresting them . . . I kinda felt bad for them . . not really

    Gay Bashing is not cool and yeah my to everyone else who goes through an experience far more serious than my own
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    Feb 25, 2008 8:11 AM GMT
    Yea..again.. happened tonight. I have to say this time it hurt worse.. cuz it was by my family. Was at my dad's and he knows about me and I thought it was cool.. well my step-bros found out and they didn't like it much.. they ended up jumping me. I ended up with a blackeye, lil busted lip, and some bruised ribs. I got a few punches in though.. was kinda hard since it was 2 of them, who are alot bigger than me... my dad just stood there.. didn't do a damn thing. Before they knew, we had always been cool with each other.. been good close with them since I was 8.. just goes to show you really aren't safe anywhere. I'm about ready to just say fuck it.. this is the third time something like this has happened to me. Maybe I should just go back to "being straight".... I know it's like living a lie.. but if it will stop all this shit from happening.... IDK.. fuck it.. I just feel like dying right now.
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    Feb 25, 2008 8:33 AM GMT
    Phuzzehlogik saidIthis group of girls actually stopped the car and got out and started throwing Rocks and bottles at me . . . I busted up laughing cuz it was frikkin hilarious . .
    lol, and you are 6'5"? what were they thinking? Finally a bashing ends as it should .. they go to jail!
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    Feb 25, 2008 8:40 AM GMT
    lilmaninsc saidYea..again..
    Holy shit .. that is the suckiest! Try not to get too down lilman. We are all rootin' for ya! Maybe you should get away for a while or something.

    Someone should write all these stories and more in a big book to the public and call it "Why equality matters!"
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    Feb 25, 2008 8:44 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said[quote][cite]lilmaninsc said[/cite]Yea..again..
    Holy shit .. that is the suckiest! Try not to get too down lilman. We are all rootin' for ya! Maybe you should get away for a while or something.

    Someone should write all these stories and more in a big book to the public and call it "Why equality matters!"[/quote]

    Hey man.. thanks, I'll try not too. And yea.. they should, but no one would care.icon_cry.gif guess that's just the world we live in though.
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    Feb 25, 2008 8:51 AM GMT
    Yes, I have back in the mid 80's. I've discussed the details in another thread on here before... basically, I got yanked into an alley outside a gay bar in Raleigh, NC by the back of my shirt and had my face repeatedly smashed into the side of a brick building, while he yelled about "fags have to die", "fags are evil", and the usual "god hates fags" bullshit. I got away by dropping to my knees and grabbing him by the balls (thin sweatpants with no underwear), digging my nails in hard (I kept them a bit longish back then) and yanking as hard as I could. I drew blood... but I got away and went back into the bar. The cops got there an hour later (the police department was right across the street) and insisted that I must have been coming on to him and I got what I deserved. Actually, I had just gone outside for a smoke and some air... I never saw the guy until I started to fight back. I had a concussion, fractured teeth, two black eyes, facial abrasions, busted lips and nose, and some other injuries... but even though he got away, at least I know I fought back and probably ruined his sex life for a while... icon_twisted.gif After that, I started taking Aikido...
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    Feb 25, 2008 9:07 AM GMT
    lilmaninsc saidHey man.. thanks, I'll try not too. And yea.. they should, but no one would care.icon_cry.gif guess that's just the world we live in though.
    I think we would all be surprised how many people would care if they really saw what is going on.

    Sometimes reading these forums I get the idea that other Gay people don't even know how bad it can be because they just don't see it going on.

    I have never been bashed, but leaving Gay establishments in Atlanta, I have had people yell sexual "insults" and have had things thrown at me from cars -- trash, bottles .. the weirdest thing thrown was a squash! WTF!! did they want me to make them a casserole or something?? lol

    A warning to bashers .. T-Bone hates bashing ... grrrrr!
    dogs
    It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
    but the size of the fight in the dog ..
    that means not only using our fists
    when we have to .. but our heads!
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    Feb 25, 2008 9:55 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFitSometimes reading these forums I get the idea that other Gay people don't even know how bad it can be because they just don't see it going on.

    I think you might be right about that. What's the old saying?... "Out of sight, out of mind"... I suppose if you've never seen it, experienced it, or known someone who's experienced it, you just don't think about it that much.

    I have to wonder, too, if maybe people in general hear about so much violence and stuff nowadays that they're becoming desensitized...