Craigslist kills me...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2009 8:09 PM GMT
    Because I was bored and couldn't sleep, I checked out the 'Missed Connections' section for Phoenix last night. My two favorites, by a long shot:


    Safeway - m4m - 28 (7th/glendale)
    Date: 2009-10-09, 12:09AM MST
    Reply To This Post


    Around 9pm today you were the hot 20 something guy lookin at produce when I walk by and farted. You turned around and smiled. I wish I got your number. I want you to fart on my face.


    [To] the guy passed out with puke on his face at the bus stop.... - m4m (phoneix)
    Date: 2009-09-24, 10:02PM MST
    Reply To This Post


    You were really hott. Brush your teeth and I d do ya...buy ya a couple beers.
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    Oct 12, 2009 8:14 PM GMT
    wow. let me find this one from houston musicians the other day.
    http://houston.craigslist.org/muc/1396389982.html
    hahaha
    he's so dumb



    one of the bands he lists as his influences is "three days graces"


    I'm still lawling about that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2009 10:40 PM GMT
    I read those same two last night. I love being bored at night; Thank You Craigslist.


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    Oct 13, 2009 2:32 AM GMT
    Saw this on Reddit..

    icon_lol.gif

    F56n5.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2009 2:33 AM GMT
    icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2009 2:39 AM GMT
    I check craigslist regularly after discovering someone was using a photo of me on the m4w section. icon_eek.gif
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Oct 13, 2009 3:54 AM GMT
    zdrew said
    Safeway - m4m - 28 (7th/glendale)
    Date: 2009-10-09, 12:09AM MST
    Reply To This Post


    Around 9pm today you were the hot 20 something guy lookin at produce when I walk by and farted. You turned around and smiled. I wish I got your number. I want you to fart on my face.


    [To] the guy passed out with puke on his face at the bus stop.... - m4m (phoneix)
    Date: 2009-09-24, 10:02PM MST
    Reply To This Post


    You were really hott. Brush your teeth and I d do ya...buy ya a couple beers.


    OMG... these are hysterical. I wonder if they are real?
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    Oct 13, 2009 4:06 AM GMT
    This is my favorite of all time:

    Reply to: pers-993581081@craigslist.org
    Date: 2009-01-14, 11:50PM PST

    To the woman that crapped in my car… (NE Portland)

    We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

    I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

    At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

    I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…

    What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

    I await your call,
    Tad

    P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…
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    Oct 13, 2009 4:11 AM GMT
    badmikeyt saidThis is my favorite of all time:

    Reply to: pers-993581081@craigslist.org
    Date: 2009-01-14, 11:50PM PST

    To the woman that crapped in my car… (NE Portland)

    What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

    I await your call,
    Tad

    P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…


    Seriously, some of these are better than Texts From Last Night.
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    Oct 13, 2009 4:16 AM GMT
    My favorites come around Halloween, such as:

    Batman Looking for my Robin

    and the guy that had just got his darth vader costume and wanted to get an anonymous blow-job while being called master without ever taking the costume off.
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    Oct 13, 2009 4:18 AM GMT
    I doubt any of those are real. In fact I think those are posted by guys who are bored at night and can't sleep.

    But my favorite was posted by a guy who went to the Y where I once worked out:

    "We were in the sauna alone and you started beating off. I'm straight but it kind of turned me on."
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    Oct 13, 2009 4:41 AM GMT
    omg!...

    like...

    Oh.. my.. gawd!... (rolling eyes)..

    (thud)..
  • bmw0

    Posts: 588

    Oct 13, 2009 4:56 AM GMT
    Craigs list always cheers me up... LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2009 5:04 AM GMT
    craigslist is fun..but has anyone ever been mentioned in the missed connections part???....i think thats soo cool that a guy saw you on the train and was too shy to say hi so he posted it in missed connections with hopes that you will see it.
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    Oct 13, 2009 5:05 AM GMT
    gawwwwwwd!!!! ahahahahha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2009 5:45 AM GMT
    wow
    "Seeking Interlectuals - 42 (Twin Cities)

    Date: 2009-10-12, 10:03PM CDT
    Reply To This Post

    Last Spring I was a love machine…now I’m just an affectionate blender. Whirrr.

    No weirdos. "

    interlectual and not a weirdo??? haha i'm afraid this person doesn't fall under either category
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2009 6:01 AM GMT
    RunintheCity saidI check craigslist regularly after discovering someone was using a photo of me on the m4w section. icon_eek.gif


    Not the M4W section!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2009 10:03 AM GMT
    badmikeyt saidThis is my favorite of all time:

    Reply to: pers-993581081@craigslist.org
    Date: 2009-01-14, 11:50PM PST

    To the woman that crapped in my car… (NE Portland)

    We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

    I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

    At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

    I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…

    What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

    I await your call,
    Tad

    P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…



    I was in a bad mood this morning but this definitely made me laugh
  • cowboyathlete

    Posts: 1346

    Oct 13, 2009 11:39 AM GMT
    I have no doubt some of these are true. I posted some joke notices before in craigslist, and actually heard from guys who wanted to hook up. LMAO
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    Oct 13, 2009 12:33 PM GMT
    so philly was just voted one of the ugliest cities in the country. also, we are usually found on listings towards the bottom for the unhealthiest cities. hence the below


    All You can Eat Buffet "The Big MAN" - m4m - 53


    Saw you at the All you can Eat Buffet in Bucks County and you were huge and so very hot.
    Your big round beer belly had great shape and I wanted to rub it all over.
    I did say hi but not sure you noticed.
    So if you were that big extra huge man at the All you can eat Buffet and you could use some companionship or some great service please contact me.
    GWM Regular guy here 5'8" 175 Stocky muscular build 53. You are awesome and I want to please you all over. Give me a chance.
    Big beer bellied men encouraged.
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    Jan 03, 2011 6:06 AM GMT
    danielryan saidso philly was just voted one of the ugliest cities in the country. also, we are usually found on listings towards the bottom for the unhealthiest cities. hence the below


    All You can Eat Buffet "The Big MAN" - m4m - 53


    Saw you at the All you can Eat Buffet in Bucks County and you were huge and so very hot.
    Your big round beer belly had great shape and I wanted to rub it all over.
    I did say hi but not sure you noticed.
    So if you were that big extra huge man at the All you can eat Buffet and you could use some companionship or some great service please contact me.
    GWM Regular guy here 5'8" 175 Stocky muscular build 53. You are awesome and I want to please you all over. Give me a chance.
    Big beer bellied men encouraged.


    Just goes to show ya... even if you're "not in the best shape" there may well be some hot guys that'll paw all over ya that you might never suspect. This whole thread is killin' me! Thanks for the "up-lift"! icon_cool.gif
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    Jan 03, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    xrichx saidSaw this on Reddit..

    icon_lol.gif

    F56n5.png



    Dammit! You made me spit chicken noodle soup all over my keyboard! lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2011 6:14 AM GMT
    I had an argument with a guy who said that a4a was more lewd than craigslist. I explained to him that obviously has had never been to the m4m section on craigslist.
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    Jan 03, 2011 8:23 AM GMT
    jeezis,,,,i haven't had a belly laugh like this for a long time...thanks for the thread and the posts, brothers...lmgfao.............................Keithicon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2011 8:24 AM GMT
    http://www.craigscrimelist.org/