Straight friend staying over- advice needed

  • beaujangle

    Posts: 1701

    Oct 15, 2009 12:17 PM GMT
    My straight friend will be here on holiday tomorrow and he wishes to crash at my place as he wants to save on accommodation. I'm happy, in fact excited about it but I have a query.

    I have a queen size bed which fits comfortably for 2 of us. I also have a sleeping bag. I wonder if he feels awkward in sharing a bed with a guy. Shall I ask him about his preference or shall I not ask him & just assume tha he's ok with it?
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    Oct 15, 2009 1:36 PM GMT
    I'd just offer up the bed (his alone) and that would open up the window to your friend about whether or not he'll say it's "not a big deal" if you to sleep on the same bed with him or not.

    Personally, I've never slept on the same bed with a straight (guy) friend. Even throughout all the years that I slept over my friend's house... it just never happenedicon_confused.gif. Hopefully, what I understand is friendship that you're talking about and not trying to hook up with him.
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    Oct 15, 2009 1:41 PM GMT
    ask him what he wants to do...

  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Oct 15, 2009 1:53 PM GMT
    Just talk to the guy. He can take the bed, you can take the couch. If I were him, I'd very graciously decline the offer to have the bed and sleep on the couch, sine you're going out of your way to house him for the night. If he's really your friend, then it won't matter no matter what you do.
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Oct 15, 2009 2:07 PM GMT
    Let him take the bed.
    You sleep elsewhere.

    It's obvious that it's bothering you, else you wouldn't even have to ask about it. How much it bothers you, I couldn't say.


    Just use the bag. You'll feel better.
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    Oct 15, 2009 2:09 PM GMT
    I think you posted this out of wishful thinking. Don't share a bed with him. Sounds like trouble.
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    Oct 15, 2009 2:18 PM GMT
    Offer both options, it's his choice. It is a friend not a fuck buddy. It will be about his comfort level with you as a friend. Of course unless you intend to bite then just offer the sleeping bag. lol
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    Oct 15, 2009 4:02 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidask him what he wants to do...



    Lostboy do you have a special kitty if he needs ONE!
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    Oct 15, 2009 4:20 PM GMT
    I wonder if you have designs on him. What is wrong with that? If he is a friend, are you just wanting to do him, or are you wanting your friend to become your lover? If you just want to do him, I wonder how you feel about that with a friend? If you want him as a lover, what's the problem with asking him to share the bed? He is free to say no. I think it is good to remember that you have no idea what his mind is. He says he is straight -- OK... At the same time, remember. Most guys ARE straight. These are my thoughts.

    Politeness demands you take the bag.
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    Oct 15, 2009 4:24 PM GMT
    beaujangle saidMy straight friend will be here on holiday tomorrow and he wishes to crash at my place as he wants to save on accommodation. I'm happy, in fact excited about it but I have a query.

    I have a queen size bed which fits comfortably for 2 of us. I also have a sleeping bag. I wonder if he feels awkward in sharing a bed with a guy. Shall I ask him about his preference or shall I not ask him & just assume tha he's ok with it?


    Don't make a big deal out of it. Just say, "you're welcome to share my bed, or I've got this sleeping bag if that'll be more comfortable" and leave it at that. I seriously doubt that your friend will care. I've slept in the same bed with plenty of my straight guy friends (and a few girls too). It's a non-issue.
  • Melos

    Posts: 264

    Oct 15, 2009 4:43 PM GMT
    I personally give my buddies the floor, even when they bring their girlfriends. It's a free place for the night, and I'm sure he'll be raiding your pantry some time while he is there. If they don't like the floor, there is always a couch or they can bring an air mattress.

    Last time I offered my bed, my friend fucked his girl friend in it, but I got the last laugh. Last time I was at his place I left a giant empty bottle of lube "discretely" in his bathroom trash can and left him to his own devices to determine what happened.

    If you want to be the nice guy, then I agree with the others and just offer up your bed and see what he would prefer.
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    Oct 15, 2009 5:15 PM GMT
    lol - yea I had given my friend my bed and he fcuk'ed a girl in my bed too. I made fun of them the next day, but it was disrespectful of them nevertheless.
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    Oct 15, 2009 5:32 PM GMT
    beaujangle saidMy straight friend will be here on holiday tomorrow and he wishes to crash at my place as he wants to save on accommodation. I'm happy, in fact excited about it but I have a query.

    I have a queen size bed which fits comfortably for 2 of us. I also have a sleeping bag. I wonder if he feels awkward in sharing a bed with a guy. Shall I ask him about his preference or shall I not ask him & just assume tha he's ok with it?


    He goes in the sleeping bag.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Oct 15, 2009 5:37 PM GMT
    tahoejock said
    beaujangle saidMy straight friend will be here on holiday tomorrow and he wishes to crash at my place as he wants to save on accommodation. I'm happy, in fact excited about it but I have a query.

    I have a queen size bed which fits comfortably for 2 of us. I also have a sleeping bag. I wonder if he feels awkward in sharing a bed with a guy. Shall I ask him about his preference or shall I not ask him & just assume tha he's ok with it?


    Don't make a big deal out of it. Just say, "you're welcome to share my bed, or I've got this sleeping bag if that'll be more comfortable" and leave it at that. I seriously doubt that your friend will care. I've slept in the same bed with plenty of my straight guy friends (and a few girls too). It's a non-issue.
    Excellent Reply!
  • handsoffire

    Posts: 178

    Oct 15, 2009 5:49 PM GMT
    I'm with Tahoe, it's a non-issue for me with most of my friends. I've even got str8 friends that cuddle with meicon_smile.gif
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    Oct 15, 2009 6:11 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidask him what he wants to do...



    Thats the best answer. I liked how some one also said give him your bed and you take the sleeping bag.
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    Oct 15, 2009 6:22 PM GMT
    I agree; offer him your bed and you take the couch. Normally they will decline taking the bed but manners dictate you offer that as an ideal option. Being the host you should try and make any guest as comfortable as possible.
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    Oct 15, 2009 6:45 PM GMT
    I thought it was common to offer the bed to your guest, while you take the couch or floor.

    Or both of you take the bed, but face in opposite directions. Your head is at the headboard and his head is at the footboard. Just make sure both of you have clean feet. And make sure neither of you like to kick in your sleep. icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 15, 2009 6:46 PM GMT
    Don't offer your bed to him. No sane straight guy crashing his friend's place would expect the friend to give up his bed for him. Offering it is just weird.
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    Oct 15, 2009 6:57 PM GMT
    Interesting how many people here are put off by or scared of sharing a bed with a friend. Why? I agree with others that (the most) proper etiquette dictates giving your friend the bed and taking the couch, or whatever. But that seems very formal to me.

    I don't have a fear of being close (physically) to my straight friends. We routinely share beds when we take ski or backpacking trips, get naked and jump into the hotsprings together, share our (very small and confined) tents out in the backcountry, etc.

    Sharing a bed (after all, you're just sleeping) with a close friend shouldn't bother anyone. And it shouldn't make a difference whether your friend is gay, straight, male, female, black, white, etc. Your bond of friendship should transcend any discomfort or fear one might have, and if it doesn't, perhaps you should ask yourself why?
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    Oct 15, 2009 6:58 PM GMT
    It's your place. He's asking to stay there, you didn't invite him?
    If you did, then offer the bed.
    If you didn't, then HE gets the couch/sleeping bag/floor/bathtub.
    He's 'mooching' .....don't offer the bed, too.


    Unless you want to open a can of worms you can't put the lid back on.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Oct 15, 2009 7:36 PM GMT


    offer options to your guests. straight, gay, purple, yellow, mute, or loquacious ... ask him what he'd like to do. assumptions are not the best options to take in most instances.
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    Oct 15, 2009 7:59 PM GMT
    xrichx said
    Or both of you take the bed, but face in opposite directions.


    JERRY: You spent the night at James's? Did we?

    ELAINE: Yeah but we reversed positions so there was no funny business.

    JERRY: Reversed positions?

    ELAINE: Yeah, you know, head to toe.

    JERRY: So what your genitals are still lined up.

    ELAINE: No, because I slept with my back to him.

    [long pause - no comment from the guys]
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    Oct 15, 2009 8:51 PM GMT
    Are you in middle school? If the bed is big enough to comfortably fit both of you then you should both sleep in the god damn bed. Seriously why is this an issue? I've slept in the same bed as my straight friends plenty of times.
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    Oct 15, 2009 8:56 PM GMT
    Tell him he's welcome to sleep on the couch, as long as he tucks you in everynight. He will also need to make your bed in the morning as well.

    And he must read to you a bedtime story that involves handsome men.