I'm getting married to the most amazing man I've ever met... ME.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2009 6:04 AM GMT
    I realized something yesterday after talking to a few of the people in my life who have significant others: I am not joking when I have said throughout the last two years on here that I am so content with being single that I have no desire to even consider anything else. And I want to celebrate that.

    My sister, who has had one baby daddy and is working on divorcing her crazy husband (and has bought herself a divorce ring, divorce cake, and divorce dress); my mother, who has been married so many times I can't remember the exact number (because I don't remember if she was married once or twice before I was born); my friend Paula, who isn't going to see my dance performance tomorrow, because her husband won't "let" her; my ex Randy, who reminds me exactly how nauseating the wrong one(s) can be; my friend Mitch, whose heart is aching over a friendship that is probably ruined after a failed romance with his best friend; and all the married men who seek me out, who remind me how easily trust can be totally falsified... they have all made me dig my heels in with a resolve that I had not yet found until last night. All of them, whether they are precious to me or not, have, in every way imaginable, shown me that "I will love you forever" actually means "I will tolerate you until it's inconvenient." I don't intend to experience that again. Ever.

    So, I am going to marry myself.

    I have to wait to get engaged though. I know it's best to have a long courtship. I'd hate to ask, only to be rejected...

    But in the spirit of optimism I have already picked out the one-karat tiffany diamond that is set in a wide, flat platinum band. I have already started looking at getting a tux tailor made to fit only me. I intend to find a sacred space, to have a religious master of some kind, and to write vows. And I am going to have witnesses. LOTS of them. Oh, and cake. A big one.

    This ceremony is not a gesture of bitterness, though it'd be absurd to pretend I don't understand the many layers of politicized commentary wrapped inside of it. It isn't a snub towards anyone else's relationship(s). It is a public declaration (and I need the accountability) that I intend to love, honor, cherish, and protect FOREVER the person in my life who make me whole. And that person is myself. When this is all said and done, (and I think the process should culminate at the time when I am scheduled to pay off all my debt and retire from adult entertainment by my birthday in 2012) I will be wearing a ring. I will be off the market. I don't want to risk losing this good thing to someone else (and here I start humming Beyoncé).

    I just hope I fare better than the 52% divorce rate suggests...
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    Oct 16, 2009 6:24 AM GMT
    This is a refreshing shift in perspective from the woes of the men who mourn their inability to find and/or keep a relationship. I've always maintained we have to fully embrace and love ourselves -- and that means being genuinely happy being on our own with ourselves -- before we can open ourselves to the possibility of sharing our lives with a partner.

    The only question I have is this: would you ever cheat on yourself? Or, say, if a man came along who fit into your life and was all things good and right, would opening yourself to the possibility of a relationship with him actually be another way of loving, honoring, and cherishing (though perhaps not protecting) yourself? Not that I feel there's any one answer to that question -- I'm just wondering what yours would be.
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    Oct 16, 2009 6:34 AM GMT
    This is so deliciously self-indulgent--and I really do mean that in a good way. Jack, I believe marrying yourself would be a new level of fabulous, so you go for it. I await the YouTube video.
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    Oct 16, 2009 7:27 AM GMT
    OMG can I be the flower girl?

    OMG CAN WE DO THE MOST AWESOME WEDDING DANCE ENTRANCE?

    OMG Can I say OMG just once more?

    OMG

  • reload16

    Posts: 267

    Oct 16, 2009 10:27 AM GMT
    Congrats Jack!! icon_smile.gif

    when is the engagement party? and who is invited!!


    icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2009 11:01 AM GMT
    Don't forget the Pre-Nup.

    Mazal Tov
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    Oct 16, 2009 11:07 AM GMT
    lilTanker said

    That sure as hell ain't the Baptist Church. Hell, the preacher is a girl.

  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Oct 16, 2009 11:36 AM GMT
    Enjoy the honeymoon. Will your left hand buy your right hand something sexy to wear?
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    Oct 16, 2009 2:19 PM GMT



    Gosh, what will you tell yourself if you're not in the mood? icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 16, 2009 2:22 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidI will be wearing a ring. I will be off the market. I don't want to risk losing this good thing to someone else (and here I start humming Beyoncé).

    I just hope I fare better than the 52% divorce rate suggests...


    You DO realize that being taken and unavailable will instantly make you irresistible to a large percentage of other gay men, don't you?
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Oct 16, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
    Girrrrrl don't do it. He will just use you.
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    Oct 16, 2009 3:01 PM GMT



    ROFL Celticmscl!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2009 3:04 PM GMT
    Where are you registered? No point in a marriage without some good gifts.
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    Oct 16, 2009 3:10 PM GMT
    A lot of the videos and comments posted are very funny, but seriously, I think this could be a very good idea. It's a ceremony to formalize that you have made a free and conscious decision to be single. Why shouldn't single people have ceremonies to celebrate their decisions? Our society makes it seem like if you're single it's because you're still single, like marriage hasn't happened to you yet. The stated or implied message is that EVERYBODY is supposed to want to be married, and if you're not married (now/still/yet/again) then you've somehow failed at achieving the externally imposed social goal. The O.P. brings up a lot of good examples of why someone would deliberately choose to be single, and I could add a long list of others that I have known over the years. Some of the marriages I have seen I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy!

    In the middle ages in Europe, people basically had to either get married or join a monastery or convent (and supposedly be celibate :winkicon_smile.gif. But they all had commitment ceremonies. The people who married had weddings to celebrate their vows, and the people who chose monastic life had ceremonies to celebrate their vows. There really isn't any equivalent nowadays in a secular society for people who chose to be single.

    Dancerjack, I would happily attend your ceremony if I was invited. Good luck to you.
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    Oct 16, 2009 3:13 PM GMT
    Can I be your "best man"???? icon_cool.gif

    Can I give you away?!?icon_lol.gif

    How about the bachelor party?!?!?icon_eek.gif

    I hope I'm at least invited to that!
    icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2009 3:26 PM GMT
    dancerjack: DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

    The more I think about this, the more brilliant it seems to me. This is genius. This could start a revolution. Years from now, people may look back at this as the event that started the "Singles Liberation Movement", freeing single people everywhere from the tyrannical oppression of the marrieds and married-wannabes.

    I would even be willing to pitch in some $$$ for the ceremony if you need and if you promise to send me pictures. I'm totally serious.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2009 3:47 PM GMT
    hmmm...

    A. Marriage is defined as between a Man and a Woman, silly...
    So you can't marry yourself for two reasons... Uh, it would be gay for one and two there has to be another party to whom the party in question want's to go to the party with

    B. The sex acts that this "marriage" would imply are illegal in most states and from what I hear may very well make you go blind. icon_eek.gif



    ..."go blind" well from my own personal experience after 27 years of pleasuring myself I now have to wear reading glasses icon_confused.gif
    So you may not go blind quickly, but none-the-less, you my friend are a silly man. But I still love ya more then my luggage...


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    Oct 16, 2009 4:25 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidOMG can I be the flower girl?

    OMG CAN WE DO THE MOST AWESOME WEDDING DANCE ENTRANCE?

    OMG Can I say OMG just once more?

    OMG

    That's awesome! Perfect for Dancer! How does one pic which side to sit on though?
  • metta

    Posts: 39099

    Oct 16, 2009 4:33 PM GMT



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2009 4:35 PM GMT
    If the ring isn't from Tiffany's. IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!! icon_biggrin.gificon_wink.gif
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    Oct 16, 2009 4:36 PM GMT
    The only way the OP could cheat on himself would be if he were to jack-off with the hand he doesn't normally use. If he's right-handed and he tries it with the left hand, he's cheating!
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Oct 16, 2009 4:42 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidI realized something yesterday after talking to a few of the people in my life who have significant others: I am not joking when I have said throughout the last two years on here that I am so content with being single that I have no desire to even consider anything else. And I want to celebrate that.



    I see your point Jack. If I were you I would marry myself also.
    Curious though-
    Will you be monogamous? Or will you allow yourself to have sex outside of your marriage. icon_question.gif
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    Oct 16, 2009 4:59 PM GMT
    this is one of the most awesome threads i've read in a long time. Thanks DancerJack! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

    gifts or cash? icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 16, 2009 5:15 PM GMT
    you all realize of course, that i'm being totally serious - so don't be surprised as i update this thread and keep you all abreast of the answers to your questions ;)

    and yes: i WILL be sending out invitations (in the future). lots to do... lots to do...

    (and i'm not avoiding answering your questions: it's part of the courtship of myself... i have to figure out the answers before i can give them).

    but yes, i will be registered somewhere, and yes, i want all the same trappings a duad would expect in their ceremony (so don't offer to be a flower girl unless you really mean it) HAHA

    edit:
    i'm going to start keeping a video journal of this, so that i can keep an account of the process... it will probably end up being a very cathartic 2.5-year process.
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    Oct 16, 2009 5:28 PM GMT

    Aww, Jack, too bad you're so far away. I'm an ordained minister! I'd love to perform the ceremony!

    Just one question though: Is he good enough for you? You're not marrying below your station are you? (OK, technically 2 questions)

    Afterall, he is in "show business", you know.icon_wink.gif

    And seriously.....good for you! I hope you make you happy.icon_cool.gif