The important part of this one is the abuse. You had to get an order of protection against this guy, and he ignored it because he wanted to be your friend? He doesn't get to be your friend; he lost that privilege when he abused you. Your friendship is a reward to people who are good to you and for you. He is neither.
Being friends with an ex is possible, particularly if you part on good terms and/or sufficient time has passed to take the edge off the emotional reactions. I've seen couples split and continue to spend time together in groups with no apparent strain. Being friends with someone who physically and emotionally abused you and broke the law in order to even contact you, however, is essentially impossible. While people can change with huge and sustained effort on their part, individuals who do so are the exceptions, not the rule.
What did he want to talk about at coffee? I'd be more likely to take him seriously if he said something along the lines of "I need to apologize to you. What I did was horrendous and inexcusable. I screwed up badly and am getting help. I'm not asking you to forgive me, and I know that we'll never be a couple again, but part of overcoming my problems is to face what I've done, and apologize to those I've hurt. I know that this can never make up for what I did, but nothing can. This is just the best I can do." and sounded sincere about it. And, preferably, in a letter that acknowledged that as long as the order of protection was still in place, that would be the last you heard from him, because he recognized your right to have him completely out of your life, and that he didn't blame you for doing so. Anything that hints of him asking/wanting something of you would be likely filed as just a new form of manipulation.
You were in love with him, but you realized it wasn't healthy, and you took the difficult but important step of breaking it off despite the pain. Your time is too valuable -- your mental and physical health is too valuable -- to spend on someone who intentionally abused you, but now expects that you can just be friends despite the legal prohibition on contact. You say you still love him, and always will; if so, that makes you that much more vulnerable to him, as you're still able to be manipulated by him despite knowing that you're better off without him around. As long as you still have a strong emotional reaction to him, stay away.
Remember: the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. When he no longer matters to you at all -- when he becomes irrelevant, rather than inspiring love or hurt or rage or spite or longing or regret or anything else -- then it would be safe to stop avoiding him if your social circles happen to still overlap. Until then, keep in mind that you are more important than him, and thus you need to do what's best for you, not what he wants.