What do I do? my nerves are getting the better of me...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2009 5:20 PM GMT
    I have been training for the Columbus Marathon since June and it is Sunday 10-18-09, start time is 730AM.
    The training is all done now and all I am doing is waiting... "anticipating" and all the little mental and physical prep things. I picked up my bib/number and my "timing chip" friday night. There are over 15000 participants and I saw many of them last night at pick up. I think it was last night at pick up that the magnitude of what I will be doing started to sink in.......I saw some..MANY people that looked to be MUCH more hardcore, intense, competitive and just looked to be in better shape and more of a "genetically natural runner", than I ever can be. They were also 20 to 30 or more years younger than me, too. Still, I need to do some sort of physical activity that wont burn me out for the race, but will still let me work off some of the mental and physical anxiety....and I'm having a hard time with ideas....I thought about a nice walk in the park and some swimming or a bike ride, maybe some yoga/stretching, not having alot of luck and the whole "super-hydration" and "carbo loading" thing is just really wearing on me right now....I know that I am in the "Clydesdale" division, and that I am not going to be competing for the win or even to qualify for "THE BOSTON", but still, my competitive streak wants me to to the best I can, finish in a respectable time and NOT BE LAST!....AHHHH!
    The magnitude and importance of this to me is to FORCEFULLY, UNMISTAKEABLY and FOREVER punctuate the change I made when I had my weight loss surgery. I still have family and friends that are not yet believing my weight loss will stick and that I will regain all of my weight to again top over 400 lbs...because it happened in the past with every other diet I did.....NOT THIS TIME. The line is in the sand and has quick, absolute and DEADLY consequences if I fail. I run not to compete, nor even to prove a point, but to live.....OK starting to get a grip again, and get my perspective again...This has been the cycle.....freak out, over thinking this and then regain composure and perspective....GOD! I just need to do this! icon_biggrin.gif "Firsts" are such a pain to get through even when they are good and exciting and well prepared for.....
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    Oct 17, 2009 7:07 PM GMT
    Never done a long run but the bf has done a few marathons and he does a nice slow 2 mile jog (20 min) the day before and if that isn't enough to burn off your nervous energy go for an easy bike ride.

    Stay away from anything that can give you gas this evening, but no need to overstuff yourself with carbs. Go to bed early.

    Much success for your run tomorrow. You must be very proud of yourself.

    Break a leg
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    Oct 17, 2009 7:30 PM GMT
    You just have pre-race butterflies. I wish I could be there to cheer you on.

    But I will definitely be there in spirit giving you Mega hairy muscle hugs of support.

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    Oct 17, 2009 7:39 PM GMT
    Well haven't participated in a race but did in a Dance competion in the first year of college. The worst thing happened. It was a group stuff and the guy in front of me came way to back and I had to go back even more. Thus I tumbled on something and it was captured on a video. Many people made fun of it and I decided never to do it again. But I wanted to do it next year too, though my confidence was way down than previous year. A day before while rehearsing I was forgetting all the steps and my stomach was just cramming me up. I wanted to shout and cry. But then I faced myself in mirror and thought why I was doing it and once that was clear I did the best I could without worrying an ounce about it. Guess what, we won this time. Pre-participation butterflies are there because we think too much about others and their opinoin about us and how it will change later. We want to impress everyone including us. Reading you comments I felt you are giving way too much importance to what others say. Just forget about them, go to a nice place where you can clean up your head and find why you should do this just for you. This will help you boost your confidence and morale. It did a lot for me. Hope it helps.
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    Oct 17, 2009 11:37 PM GMT
    As you've done in the past, walk into, through, and beyond your comfort zone to a better place. You'll be fine!!!!
  • islander24

    Posts: 161

    Oct 18, 2009 1:56 AM GMT
    Good luck Gary.

    Didn't you have surgery for the weight loss? I don't think you can regain the weight. I am starting Medfast diet. Six small meals/ snacks a day to convince the body not to store every bite.
    You got a friend in the deep south pulling for you.

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    Oct 18, 2009 2:46 AM GMT
    Thanks for the suggestions and support.
    I took a nice easy walk in the park and strolled very casually with some friends.
    We had a grand time!
    I feel much better and will be heading to bed very soon, after the laundry finishes!
    Wish me luck and I will let you know what happens! LOL!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9225

    Oct 18, 2009 5:11 AM GMT
    Try to convince yourself that it doesn't matter, and it doesn't.
    It doesn't matter if you come in first, last, or somewhere in between.
    What matters is that you chose something to do, a goal, a challenge, and you're doing it.
    Even if you can't finish, do the best you can.
    You've already got more courage and drive than most people.
    I wouldn't enter a race like that in a million years.
    You're already a winner.
    Do this for the joy of doing it, that you're doing something good for yourself.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 18, 2009 5:14 AM GMT
    "you can do it!" "you can do it all night long" Waterboy had some sound advice in it for a stupid comedy!!
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    Oct 18, 2009 5:21 AM GMT
    Hopefully you are sleeping soundly right now and won't read this until you get back on here to tell us how you did!

    When I did my first Ironman I know many didn't think I would finish. Wanting to prove those people wrong was something that crossed my mind often, but I had to fight focusing on that. External motivation can be positive for a while, but doesn't last. Internal motivation has been shown to be much better. Be motivated by what you have accomplished in the past and by all the hard work that got you ready for this day.

    Whether you read this having finished or dropped out after 5 miles, the fact is you trained hard, lost weight and have much to be proud of. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Finishing the race and keeping the weight off are not related.

    Congrats on all your work!
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    Oct 18, 2009 4:28 PM GMT
    Get in the water.....a swimming pool or the ocean. You don't have to swim perfectly just play around,,,,,,float.......splash around.....move your body against the water resistance....have fun!
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    Oct 18, 2009 10:59 PM GMT
    Well...the Columbus Marathon is now HISTORY and I finished the bastard!
    I did not "win, place or show", but I finished it and was faster than many others...including some of those that were younger and "appeared to be in better shape" than me!.....Time for my first tattoo...26.2...BITCH!!!
    ...OK...now for the reality...I am in pain and really sore...no blisters, but OMG stiff and moving like I am a centurion! I had a true therapeutic massage at the end of the race...it was part of the entry fee and then went to my gym and soaked in the hot tub, took in several 1000 calories and about 100 gm of protein since the race and have been inhaling water...now into my 5th gallon for the day.....but SHIT! I never got this sore from my training runs or had any issues with water or "monster cravings" for the calories or protein...WTF!....
    As I turned on to Nationwide Blvd...for the last KILLER 2/10's mile.... It was fenced and it was draped with huge balloon arches and confetti and news crews and lots of music and the big "jumbo-trons" with the approaching runners on it in and THOUSANDS, TENS OF THOUSANDS of people cheering and chanting your name (it was on the jumbo-tron under your approaching image!), as well as an announcer doing an almost "play-by-play".... I was a mess!...crying as I ran harder and faster than I had the entire race...As I crossed the line, I was met by a couple of the volunteers wanting to get me to the first aid area for whatever my "pain" was that had me in tears... I was fine!..but I had just done my FIRST MARATHON! and was feeling a little emotional thinking about the long and hard FIGHT I had taken to earn this...49 years in the making....I am still emotional when I think about it.....I think I can safely use this as an EXCLAMATION POINT to all of the non-believers and naysayers about my weight loss and my changed lifestyle.... GOD! That monkey has been on my back for 5 years! I take great joy driving a steak in his heart!....and my time was 5 hrs 4 minutes 49 seconds....like I said...not going for Boston or the win...just the finish and the right to say I did it.icon_exclaim.gificon_exclaim.gificon_cool.gif
    Thanks for your support!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2009 5:22 PM GMT
    :-) Awesome!

    Any "Real Jock" knows the joys and rewards of competition. Feels neato.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Oct 21, 2009 5:55 PM GMT

    Well done Mate.

    When's the next one?

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    Oct 21, 2009 6:27 PM GMT
    My sis in law ran the Columbus as well, just over 4 hrs, and my mom did the half. They had a blast but noted that it was unusually cold!