Ok, this is really starting to get on my nerves. This is 2009, and there is SO much more information and knowledge about HIV transmission then there ever was when I was in my 20s. I have been talking online to alot of guys, mostly in their 20s and 30s. Once I tell them that I am HIV+, they stop talking to me all together. Like its a sin to talk to a poz person. Then, I know this kid who went to a bathhouse and got a blowjob from someone and now hes so worried he has HIV. . . HOLY FUCK. . .what is going on these days in the gay community? When will this ignorance wear off?? There is SOOOOO much discrimination within the gay community from negative guys. I dont understand it. . .i really dont. . .YET. . .these are the same guys that will hookup with anyone, go to the bathhouses. . .etc. . .seriously. . .i know so many HIV+ guys who do NOT tell the truth anyway out of fear of rejection. So how many poz guys are these people actually having sex with. . . makes you wonder. . . but it KILLS me that once you tell them you are, even just through talking on the computer, they totally diss you and refuse to talk to you anymore. . .seriously though. . . a bathhouse?? LOL. . .id be more worried about gettin other STDs just walking barefoot on the floor rather then getting HIV from getting a blowjob. . .HAHAHA. Amazing, most guys will hookup constantly but will NOT get tested yet claim to never sleep with a poz person. . .AND. . . .amazing that there are HIV negative guys who KNOW they are neg and still have no problem knowingly sleeping with a poz guy. . . such a huge gap between ignorance and acceptance in the gay community, totally black and white. . .sorry for the ranting but it just amazes me. My 91 year old grandmother who has never left her farm and thinks the world revolves around the tiny village she lives in has no problem sharing her bathroom with me and any other normal everyday thing. . .and yet the younger gay guys think they might catch it just by talking to you and cant let their friends know they talk to a poz guy. . . . i could go on all day about this shit. . . .someone stop me. . .!!!!
OH. . .and on that note. .. ive never dated a poz guy either. . ive only dated guys who were negative and they always remained NEGATIVE. . . i guess it depends on where you live. . .how small the community is. . . i lived in MA at one point and when people found out i was poz, more and more wanted to be with me. . . here in Albany NY, the more that find out, the less want to even talk to me. . .HAHAHA
I believe it is safe to say you wouldn't want to date anyone who is that ignorant to dismiss people based on their poz status. It is a weeding out process. The next time you reveal your status and the person doesn't run for the hills, you know this one stands a chance.
Two things here: one, think of it like women who have to reveal to men that they are divorced with a kid at X "young" age. Most men run for the hills, quality men stick around. Also, while I agree there is a sense of irresponsibility in the gay world towards HIV, the same exists in the straight world. It is just common to only attack the gays. I know a lot of straight people who engage in far more promiscuous sexual habits without getting tested either. Ignorance is human nature and knows no prejudice.
Razzmanic it saddens me to hear of your plight. I have been in the SF Bay area since 1980 and lost almost all of my past boyfriends and very close friends. You are fortunate to not be around in the very early days to see the hysteria people were going through.
I have friends HIV+ since 1978 very health and have not done any drug therapy ever.
I know couples one negative and one positive and they have been together for years some as long as fifteen. The one negative will stay negative and they have unprotected sex.
Ignorance will always be prevalent even in well educated guys.There are a huge number of studies on HIV both for the case on AIDS and against the case of HIV. A huge number of studies on how it is transmitted and how it is not.
I doubt you can find one person that has read any of these studies, even the first paper by Gallo that proclaimed HIV causes AIDS. I have yet to talk to a health care individual that has read any of the research yet many will talk about what it can and can't do. I know some heavy hitters in HIV research as they were my clients in the early 80's. I sell to Biotech and almost all the companies I dealt with in the 80's started with HIV research.
I have always taken the position that every guy I meet is HIV+ even if they say they are negative. Even if they say they just got tested and it came back negative. I just say SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I know you are frustrated because you think people should know more in 2009 than they did in 1989 and in 1969 and in 1949. Unfortunately that isn't the case. People only know what they are told and most don't have the desire to think for themselves let alone find out for themselves.
Sorry but I can also rant on this subject as there is so so so much ignorance out there on HIV.
Just a personal note on getting tested. This is me personally, since I have worked with almost all of the scientific equipment used to in labs and know the different methods of testing. I only test at testing laboratories I know. I request the gold standard for the particular test and I always see the results as to interpret the results myself. This is extreme I know but I've worked it this field all my life. This is my life my body I do not let other people make decisions for me. If you have not had the gold standard test for HIV "WB" it would be worth your time to have it done and learn how to interpret the results.
Sorry you can't change the people but you can change the place you live!
Sorry badly constructed sentence: this should have read the following
Ignorance will always be prevalent even in well educated guys.There are a huge number of studies on HIV both for the cause of AIDS and against the cause of AIDS. A huge number of studies on how it is transmitted and how it is not.
I applaude you all for your comments and couldnt agree more. I don't run from poz guys although I havent KNOWINGLY slept with one.
I get STD tested regularly and had an HIV test done just a couple of weeks ago. It was negative. I am not perfect and have fucked guys bareback on a couple of occassions. Its been awhile but I have done it. I frankly am as concerned if not more so with catching some other kind of STD. At least syphillis, ghonorhea and the clap (excuse the poor spelling) are curable whereas herpes and genital warts are at best only treatable.
I dont claim to know it all, hell there is as much misinformation out there as there is accurate information, and who can tell the difference. I try to be and stay informed but Im sure I am behind the curve.
When you get told stuff like: 1) HIV has become a chronic manageable disease just like rheumatoid arthritis. Youll live a long and happy life. (Dr told me this) 2) You cant get HIV from getting a blowjob 3) Only a very slight chance of getting HIV from giving a blowjob 4)Dont brush your teeth before oral sex 5) Mouth acids kill the virus (if so why isnt the vaccine filled with my mouth acids) 6) You only have a very slight chance of contracting HIV if you are the pitcher 7) You have a much greater chance of contracting HIV if you are the catcher Swallowing spunk is okay because the virus cant live within the confines of your stomach acids
Need I go on? What are you supposed to think with that kind of information?
Not emailing you or talking to you is one thing but I really don't understand why you're angry at "negative" guys for not wanting to have sex with you. It's great that you're fine and that you've accepted that you have to live with HIV but that may not be fine for for another guy to accept and whether or not they're willing to accept the risk that comes from being intimate with a HIV positive guy is totally up to them.
To put it succinctly, you more or less had your chance to remain negative. As such, you shouldn't hold it against guys who are currently negative for trying to avoid behavior or contact with someone that could jeopardize that.
I'm sorry to hear that people run away from you when you're talking to them online, but you should still stay honest and tell everyone up front. ...EVEN if they DON'T ask. -(when you plan on dating them that is... or having the sex with them.) ---------------- As for the -/+ having bareback sex... that is both reckless and unbelievable.
I recently attended an HIV/AIDS meeting set by the Office of National AIDS Policy (White House). Sex education is missing for gay men. How many of you remember being taught in school, by educators, how to have safe gay sex?
Another issue is that we've gone from targeting the gay community to protect themselves, to targeting everyone with the same message (which doesn't work). Men can't get pregnant so they don't use a lot of condoms anymore, because people in their 20's (in general) don't think HIV can happen to them, and if it does, they think they can just live with it and it won't really do anything to them.
HIV education is basically something this nation lacks. I've been involved in an HIV education program for over a year, and it still amazes me that people think you can get it in ways you can't.
To the OP: no one wants to get tested because they might have it, and then they'd be the monster they fear. Being HIV+ is like being gay in the 50, something you just don't talk about. That's the general opinion (likened to pregnant teens and the religious right).
Simply_Drew saidI recently attended an HIV/AIDS meeting set by the Office of National AIDS Policy (White House). Sex education is missing for gay men. How many of you remember being taught in school, by educators, how to have safe gay sex?
.
That's exactly the problem. Teaching that "gay" sex ONLY equals anal sex does youth a great disservice, especially when a number of them aren't even inclined to engage in anal play to begin with. Same-sex education should encompass ALL aspects of same sexuality, not just telling guys to use a condom when they have anal sex as if it's a given that they'll be having anal sex at all.
Who teaches that gay sex is only anal sex? I certainly didn't get that in sex ed. You don't like anal sex. Wonderful. I hope you have plenty of great assless sex and enjoy the shit hell out of it. But, the majority of gay people love anal sex. Just because your particular perversion does not click with so many guys doesn't mean there is some vast conspiracy against you frot-lovers. You have a kink. Your kink is not having anal sex. Other people's kinks are having their balls stepped on by high heel shoes, getting peed on, or dressing like a bear and getting blow jobs. Those are not popular, or heavily featured kinks. Yet, I don't think I know a kinkster who spends so much time complaining about being oppressed by the vanilla masses.
Simply_Drew saidI recently attended an HIV/AIDS meeting set by the Office of National AIDS Policy (White House). Sex education is missing for gay men. How many of you remember being taught in school, by educators, how to have safe gay sex?
Another issue is that we've gone from targeting the gay community to protect themselves, to targeting everyone with the same message (which doesn't work). Men can't get pregnant so they don't use a lot of condoms anymore, because people in their 20's (in general) don't think HIV can happen to them, and if it does, they think they can just live with it and it won't really do anything to them.
HIV education is basically something this nation lacks. I've been involved in an HIV education program for over a year, and it still amazes me that people think you can get it in ways you can't.
To the OP: no one wants to get tested because they might have it, and then they'd be the monster they fear. Being HIV+ is like being gay in the 50, something you just don't talk about. That's the general opinion (likened to pregnant teens and the religious right).
I am curious. The education you have of HIV comes from what sources?
Have you ever read any of the original research on HIV by Gallo, Luc Montagnier, or Ho or read any of the CDC surveillance from the 80''s, Peter Duesberg, Kary Mullis ( nobel winner is chemistry, inventing PCR) Harvey Root-Bernstein. etc . I think there are thousands and thousands of research paper on HIV and AIDS.
I am curious as to where you got your education what it consists of these days, that is all.
I can't help but to use the phrase knowledge is power but it's true when I got my 1st HIV test I was horrified, so horrified I studied up on HIV b4 I got tested and it gave me to tools to know how to stay negative and gave me a guidline for healthy living , I know they don't teach gay sex in school but guys have to take the responsibility of teaching yourself
RyanReBoRn saidNot emailing you or talking to you is one thing but I really don't understand why you're angry at "negative" guys for not wanting to have sex with you. It's great that you're fine and that you've accepted that you have to live with HIV but that may not be fine for for another guy to accept and whether or not they're willing to accept the risk that comes from being intimate with a HIV positive guy is totally up to them.
To put it succinctly, you more or less had your chance to remain negative. As such, you shouldn't hold it against guys who are currently negative for trying to avoid behavior or contact with someone that could jeopardize that.
You would be amazed at how many guys are willing to bareback and do almost anything sexually - until they find out the other guy is poz. That is why some poz guys are angry.
RyanReBoRn saidNot emailing you or talking to you is one thing but I really don't understand why you're angry at "negative" guys for not wanting to have sex with you. It's great that you're fine and that you've accepted that you have to live with HIV but that may not be fine for for another guy to accept and whether or not they're willing to accept the risk that comes from being intimate with a HIV positive guy is totally up to them.
To put it succinctly, you more or less had your chance to remain negative. As such, you shouldn't hold it against guys who are currently negative for trying to avoid behavior or contact with someone that could jeopardize that.
You would be amazed at how many guys are willing to bareback and do almost anything sexually - until they find out the other guy is poz. That is why some poz guys are angry.
Are you saying they're angry that they cannot infect others? Ummmmmmmmm.......
No responsible Poz man should want to bareback someone who is neg.
Well said razz. I get on my knees and thank the dear Lord every day that I found a man that doesn't care, and isn't afraid of me. I spent close to ten years not going much past the second date with anyone once I revealed my status. Which of course meant ten years of no sex. The paranoia mixed with willful ignorance out there in 2009 is shocking to behold...
RyanReBoRn saidNot emailing you or talking to you is one thing but I really don't understand why you're angry at "negative" guys for not wanting to have sex with you. It's great that you're fine and that you've accepted that you have to live with HIV but that may not be fine for for another guy to accept and whether or not they're willing to accept the risk that comes from being intimate with a HIV positive guy is totally up to them.
To put it succinctly, you more or less had your chance to remain negative. As such, you shouldn't hold it against guys who are currently negative for trying to avoid behavior or contact with someone that could jeopardize that.
To put it succinctly, you are an ass. Why under Heaven would you assume that anyone you are intimate with is negative? If you are doing what you are supposed to do, you are in no danger from anyone. And while I'm at it, how dare you make moral judgements of a person because of a disease? Some of us had no choice in the matter in case you didn't know. Some of us were lied to, some of us were forced or coerced in some way - you know, RAPED - , hell, some of us are former circuit queens that don't even remember the incident occuring (which is its own particular kind of punishment). I refuse to be judged by you of all people, a clear closet case that nonetheless probably frequents BB parties...
I feel the mentality of the younger homosexual community is irresponsible and downright reckless towards their unprotected anal sex. The "you're negative, right?" after sex is so common, it's disheartening. But even more so, is the lack of HIV testing done by this group out of the false assumption that their partners are actually negative.
Many of my younger friends are too afraid to get tested because they have had unprotected sex. And from my conversations with them, they are not afraid of getting tested and HIV result itself, but of the actual societal ostracism associated with an HIV+ test result. Ignorant assumptions placate this fear. (No positive results, so they're technically negative still, right?)
I find it shameful that anyone on this site, espousing health and vitality, doesn't realize that in life mistakes happen and HIV is a sad misfortune facing millions of people worldwide.
And, honestly, I'd much rather have sex and date someone that is HIV+, aware of their status, and acting responsibly, than some dumb kid getting fucked bare and betting their status on "you're negative, right?" the day after.
Just some thoughts on that...
Oh yeah, kids, you're extraordinarily infectious during the "window period" of testing negative.... How safe is that bareback morning after questionnaire, now, eh?
I've been asked if I was negative and while the guy is asking, he's shaking his head yes, and I'm like "lemme answer first." I've caught myself doing it on occasion and the guy has said, "I haven't said yes yet." Bottom line is, if we are wanting something, the question is just red tape that's easily dismissed....unless someone is forthright and tells the truth. If he does, that is beautiful and while he may not get laid, he has something more valuable within.
EDIT>> People do lie and this is the reason to assume every man you bed is positive, so you will take the proper precautions. I think it is far more likely that a guy emotionally invested would overlook a positive status. They are willing to get educated and take the proper precautions. A one night stand just wants sex, he doesn't want to do the work.
My theory on why the hot men in clubs behave this way toward a positive is because of the stigma. I still think a lot of gay men respond to the lies and antiquated teaching that AIDS is a punishment or a burn for being gay. If they bed with a pos, it's like facing their ultimate fear that they WILL get burned eventually for what they are. It's BS, I struggle with these lies myself ................................................
A little off topic...but sometimes I do see guys on sites like Manhunt that are positive and looking for bareback sex. I always wonder what sort of idiot would agree to do so, but then again I've also heard of people that purposely try to catch HIV to "get it over with."
Gilbercrat saidA little off topic...but sometimes I do see guys on sites like Manhunt that are positive and looking for bareback sex. I always wonder what sort of idiot would agree to do so, but then again I've also heard of people that purposely try to catch HIV to "get it over with."
Meth kills.
I think it's the misinformed mentality that once you're HIV+ you're free to do whatever you want with no further repercussion. That coupled with a pschologically devastated self-worth... not so much, someone trying to get HIV.
I am curious. The education you have of HIV comes from what sources?
Have you ever read any of the original research on HIV by Gallo, Luc Montagnier, or Ho or read any of the CDC surveillance from the 80''s, Peter Duesberg, Kary Mullis ( nobel winner is chemistry, inventing PCR) Harvey Root-Bernstein. etc . I think there are thousands and thousands of research paper on HIV and AIDS.
I am curious as to where you got your education what it consists of these days, that is all.
I get my HIV/AIDS information from the MPowerment project here in Albuquerque which is connected to the New Mexico AIDS Service program, and they get there information from various sources including the CDC.
RyanReBoRn saidNot emailing you or talking to you is one thing but I really don't understand why you're angry at "negative" guys for not wanting to have sex with you. It's great that you're fine and that you've accepted that you have to live with HIV but that may not be fine for for another guy to accept and whether or not they're willing to accept the risk that comes from being intimate with a HIV positive guy is totally up to them.
To put it succinctly, you more or less had your chance to remain negative. As such, you shouldn't hold it against guys who are currently negative for trying to avoid behavior or contact with someone that could jeopardize that.
Not angry with Neg guys for not wanting to have sex with me. . when you talk to someone ONLINE, and they want to hookup. . and i tell them, " im poz so that might change the game plan" and they just STOP talking all together. . .that annoys me. . .like they cant even TALK to someone who is poz online. . i get plenty of guys who are at least nice enough to say something like (from what one guy had told me) "as much as i'd love too, i just can't with someone poz. " That was fine. . . but why to stop talking all together??? THATS where the ignorance lies. .
Diffident_Sunshine saidI'm sorry to hear that people run away from you when you're talking to them online, but you should still stay honest and tell everyone up front. ...EVEN if they DON'T ask. -(when you plan on dating them that is... or having the sex with them.) ---------------- As for the -/+ having bareback sex... that is both reckless and unbelievable.
I always tell people upfront. . .even online if i never even plan on hooking up with them. . . i could never date anyone without disclosing it first. .
MotorBrett saidI feel the mentality of the younger homosexual community is irresponsible and downright reckless towards their unprotected anal sex. The "you're negative, right?" after sex is so common, it's disheartening. But even more so, is the lack of HIV testing done by this group out of the false assumption that their partners are actually negative.
Many of my younger friends are too afraid to get tested because they have had unprotected sex. And from my conversations with them, they are not afraid of getting tested and HIV result itself, but of the actual societal ostracism associated with an HIV+ test result. Ignorant assumptions placate this fear. (No positive results, so they're technically negative still, right?)
I find it shameful that anyone on this site, espousing health and vitality, doesn't realize that in life mistakes happen and HIV is a sad misfortune facing millions of people worldwide.
And, honestly, I'd much rather have sex and date someone that is HIV+, aware of their status, and acting responsibly, than some dumb kid getting fucked bare and betting their status on "you're negative, right?" the day after.
Just some thoughts on that...
Oh yeah, kids, you're extraordinarily infectious during the "window period" of testing negative.... How safe is that bareback morning after questionnaire, now, eh?
DUDE, you took the words right out of my mouth. . . when either at a bathhouse or tweeked out on drugs or drunk off your ass. . . if asked if you are poz or neg before engaging in sex with a hot guy youve been eyeing all night. . . MOST guys sure as hell arent going to tell the truth out of fear of rejection. . . so the neg guys go by that AND sadly believe what someone tells them. . . Ive always been in relationships with negative guys, and to be honest. . .recently finding that being HIV+ is a brotherhood. . . we should stick together. . . is that wrong?? Not that I am discriminating negative guys, because ALOT still want to have sex with me, but i feel the bond is lost there with a mixed status couple. . . thats MY opinion. . .I would love someone regardless of their status, just seems like it would be easier . . . am i wrong???
Gilbercrat saidA little off topic...but sometimes I do see guys on sites like Manhunt that are positive and looking for bareback sex. I always wonder what sort of idiot would agree to do so, but then again I've also heard of people that purposely try to catch HIV to "get it over with."
Meth kills.
I think it's the misinformed mentality that once you're HIV+ you're free to do whatever you want with no further repercussion. That coupled with a pschologically devastated self-worth... not so much, someone trying to get HIV.
No worries about syphilis or whatnot.
Yeah, Meth = Death.
You can still get reinfected. . .thats my beef about HIV+ bb sex. . .that sickens me that people who are poz think that they can't end up with a worse strain. . .there is a superstrain out now. . .
personal I don't have a problem with with a person who is inflicted with incurable disease (so far) such as HIV/AIDS. Talking with someone is not a crime however I'm not willing to put myself at risk for anyone especially if I know the person has the disease.
Even if i didn't know I play it safe at all times because at the end of the day who can you really blame. Who should you really blame.
I think what Ryan was trying to say about sex ed thing was that most people think the gays are just all about anal sex. We are about the same sex as everyone else and so it shouldn't be labeled as gay sex just because we like anal It should just be called "sex" because last time I checked straight men and women love anal like the rest of us.
When you label something like sex that is commonly done by every regardless of sexual preference you are inviting ignorance. Sex ed doesn't and shouldn't discriminate against those with different tastes. It's purpose is to teach about sex and to teach about how to be safe and responsible with it and the dangers/consequences that occur daily when not done with caution.
I think the reason that there may be more cases of hiv among gays than str8s, even though there are more str8's than gays is because str8's usually use a condom because they don't want to have a baby, whereas many gays go bare, which is how hiv is often transmitted. That's just my thought.
Okay, remain honest! The world needs more people like you, (honest ones.) I understand the people that stop talking to you online BECAUSE they are ONLY looking to HOOKUP. OHHH caps AND bold font. Although you do deserve a, 'okay thank you for your time and honesty but I do not want to risk such a blah blah blah.'
RyanReBoRn saidNot emailing you or talking to you is one thing but I really don't understand why you're angry at "negative" guys for not wanting to have sex with you. It's great that you're fine and that you've accepted that you have to live with HIV but that may not be fine for for another guy to accept and whether or not they're willing to accept the risk that comes from being intimate with a HIV positive guy is totally up to them.
To put it succinctly, you more or less had your chance to remain negative. As such, you shouldn't hold it against guys who are currently negative for trying to avoid behavior or contact with someone that could jeopardize that.
Not angry with Neg guys for not wanting to have sex with me. . when you talk to someone ONLINE, and they want to hookup. . and i tell them, " im poz so that might change the game plan" and they just STOP talking all together. . .that annoys me. . .like they cant even TALK to someone who is poz online. . i get plenty of guys who are at least nice enough to say something like (from what one guy had told me) "as much as i'd love too, i just can't with someone poz. " That was fine. . . but why to stop talking all together??? THATS where the ignorance lies. .
The reason they quit talking to you is probably because the only reason they talk to anyone is to hook up. Once they find out you are poz and don't want to hook up with a poz guy, the conversation ends. I'm not saying this is right, but even though I am not poz, I've had guys quit talking to me, once I say I am not interested in hooking up. Then they quit talking to me because the only reason they were talking to me in the first place is because they wanted to hook up with me. Once they found out that wasn't a possibilty anymore, they stop talking to me. So I wouldn't take it personally. Sometimes, a guys only purpose for talking to anyone is to hook up.
You have no assurance that anyone is truly neg because they may not even know that they are carrying the virus. Even if the guy has been recently tested and tested neg. , this does not mean he is neg. It can take up to 6 months for the virus to show up on a test. In other words ,the guy may be spreading the virus for 6 months before ever finding out he is poz and then all the guys he infected are doing the same for up to another 6 months or even longer, if they do not get tested.
Simply_Drew saidI recently attended an HIV/AIDS meeting set by the Office of National AIDS Policy (White House). Sex education is missing for gay men. How many of you remember being taught in school, by educators, how to have safe gay sex?
Another issue is that we've gone from targeting the gay community to protect themselves, to targeting everyone with the same message (which doesn't work). Men can't get pregnant so they don't use a lot of condoms anymore, because people in their 20's (in general) don't think HIV can happen to them, and if it does, they think they can just live with it and it won't really do anything to them.
HIV education is basically something this nation lacks. I've been involved in an HIV education program for over a year, and it still amazes me that people think you can get it in ways you can't.
To the OP: no one wants to get tested because they might have it, and then they'd be the monster they fear. Being HIV+ is like being gay in the 50, something you just don't talk about. That's the general opinion (likened to pregnant teens and the religious right).
I think most gay men have been educated about the truth and facts regarding hiv, but they choose to suppress the truth because they either don't beleive what they have been taught, or they don't think it can affect them.
It is all covered in sex ed classes in school today, so unless guys are sleeping and not paying attention, there's no reason for anyone graduating today for not knowing the truth about hiv. Some choose to ignore the truth and this is an entirely different problem.
Gilbercrat saidA little off topic...but sometimes I do see guys on sites like Manhunt that are positive and looking for bareback sex. I always wonder what sort of idiot would agree to do so, but then again I've also heard of people that purposely try to catch HIV to "get it over with."
Meth kills.
I think it's the misinformed mentality that once you're HIV+ you're free to do whatever you want with no further repercussion. That coupled with a pschologically devastated self-worth... not so much, someone trying to get HIV.
No worries about syphilis or whatnot.
Yeah, Meth = Death.
I never did understand why anyone WANTS to be poz Can anyone explain why they would want to be poz? Are they depressed or what?
THIS KILLS ME. . . . As ive told many people on here and online. . . people will always lie about their status to get the sex they want. . . how do you determine who to trust???? I dont know. . .DONT HOOKUP i guess. . .date. . . I am witnessing right now, a friend who is poz. . .has changed his status online to Negative. . . now that i guess he has split with his boyfriend. . . This is driving me nuts because i know he loves to bareback and hes fuckin hot. . .so i know hes out to hit up some young gullable guys just to get laid and NOW put them at risk by lying. . . and I'M the one who is fucking honest to the hilt and look what i get in return . . .UGH. . .
waxon saidI can't help but to use the phrase knowledge is power but it's true when I got my 1st HIV test I was horrified, so horrified I studied up on HIV b4 I got tested and it gave me to tools to know how to stay negative and gave me a guidline for healthy living , I know they don't teach gay sex in school but guys have to take the responsibility of teaching yourself
The schools in WI do teach about hiv and I'm sure this is true in other states as well. A medical professional comes into the schools and teaches and distributes truthful information about it and there is a question and answer period that follows. But I'm telling you, many kids at the high school level do not take it seriously and even joke about it because they think they are immortal at that age. Don't get me wrong. There are a lot who do take it seriously, but there are always some for whatever reason don't.
Razzmaniac saidTHIS KILLS ME. . . . As ive told many people on here and online. . . people will always lie about their status to get the sex they want. . . how do you determine who to trust???? I dont know. . .DONT HOOKUP i guess. . .date. . . I am witnessing right now, a friend who is poz. . .has changed his status online to Negative. . . now that i guess he has split with his boyfriend. . . This is driving me nuts because i know he loves to bareback and hes fuckin hot. . .so i know hes out to hit up some young gullable guys just to get laid and NOW put them at risk by lying. . . and I'M the one who is fucking honest to the hilt and look what i get in return . . .UGH. . .
You should report him to the authorities because in WI here it is a law that if you have tested poz, you MUST truthfully disclose this information to all sex partners. If you don't, you can be arrested and convicted..
I' m not sure if you aware of this, but there is discussion about possibly putting those with hiv poz tests on a public registry, so that this information is available. But many times hiv is spread by people who are not tested. Perhaps they wil make mandatory testing for everyone every six months. This would be very costly, but it would reduce the spread some what, but because of that 6 month window, it can't stop it entirely.
'names' reporting is now common or state law in many states.... but this is far from a public registry. NOBODY's personal health information, including HIV status, is available to other members of the public save for those who work with the Medical Information Bureau databases used by insurance companies and other corporations in the medical field. it is against the law (HIPPA) for private health information to be shared and exposed to anyone other than those involved in the direct care of the patient.
and making HIV testing mandatory has been tossed around forever, especially in hospital admissions, but it's an absurd idea. talk about driving people away from health care.... that will surely do it. and no 'federal health police force' on the planet will be able to track people down and test them... those who need testing most will stay away from health care altogether.
and forget 'telling' on people or reporting them to the authorities... protect yourself and treat everyone like they're positive.... then all concerns expressed above go away.
Gilbercrat said You can still get reinfected. . .thats my beef about HIV+ bb sex. . .that sickens me that people who are poz think that they can't end up with a worse strain. . .there is a superstrain out now. . .
The concept of HIV superstrains and mutated strains has been around since the mid 80's . I haven't seen any verifiable scientific research papers that show the sequence of these strains.
HIV tests are based on the original HIV from Gallo's lab and ultimately from Luc Montignie since Gallo stole it and took credit. The HIV grown inVitro in mammalian cells at the CDC is distributed to companies that do research and make test. The genetic sequencing of HIV is very and I mean very well known and has been for a long time. I have not seen any credible evidence of these strains. To my knowledge all vaccines are based on the original HIV from 82-83 and do not know of any superstains distributed to any of my clients that still do the work.
You are saying these SS strains can reinfect both Poz and negative men alike. Which means stains are going undetected and every negative gay man is potentially Poz with this superstain. Meaning what? That these SS HIV strain are bad ass and will kill like the original HIV did in the late 70s to 90 but is now manageable? If you are right then even RyanReBoRn is SOL as well as everyone in RJ. Until any of theories are proven and some of my clients start working on it I wouldn't give it much thought or worry.
You have a enough to worry about! To believe any gay man is negative because he said he is and he just got tested is fooli
Well Razz I will be your friend lol I would not have sex with a guy I knew was poz but thats just me.On the other hand treating positive people like lepers is disgusting.They are a big part of the community and need friendship and support like us neg guys.Always room for new friends here neg or poz
G_Force saidI think the reason that there may be more cases of hiv among gays than str8s, even though there are more str8's than gays is because str8's usually use a condom because they don't want to have a baby, whereas many gays go bare, which is how hiv is often transmitted. That's just my thought.
Sorry but your thought is not supported by the CDC HIV surveillance reports.Every year that sees an increase is STD's in the STr8 population HIV rates have not increase. That holds the same for the gay population. I grant you the last time I got the surveillance monthly reports were 1995 so I am a few years in the dark. However I don't remember any reporting of increased HIV infection in the str8 population but do of the other STD's
The increase on other STD tells you they don't use condoms like we think they do. Sorry
Being poz myself I understand what your saying...luckily I have been in a relationship and still am since my diagnosis so I havent experienced the dating scene as far as this goes but I completely understand the stigma of this whole disease.
I honestly think it all boils down to these guys is "what you dont know wont hurt you" Just like some of our parents might "think" we are gay but its not an issue until we "tell" them we are gay.
The stigma of this disease is so out of control because of the 80's epidemics and deaths. Some dont take it seriously anymore because they think "hey if I get it I just have to take one pill a day and thats it" its so much more than that.
Before I knew I was poz I am not sure if I could willingly have sex with a poz guy or not. But did I ever use protection? hardly ever. Did I ever even ask? hardly ever. I have for the most part been in ltr's but thats no excuse or escape, obviously since I am poz.
The only thing you can do is to try to educate people. The guys that are running from you sucking dick in the bathhouse will be the same guys writing you later on asking you your advice on what to do because they just found out they are poz to.
Its like the people out there that never get tested so they can say they are negative. They figure if they dont get tested, and they dont know then they dont have to lie....they dont know so they say they are negative.
I feel your pain on this one man, but theres not much you can do other than try to reach out to these guys and educate them and be an example to them as a friend and what HIV is all about if you can. And if you do, you will probably save their life and save them from getting this terrible disease themselves.
I will say this though. Since I have told my status especially on RJ and places like this....I have had so much support and love shown to me from so many guys on here. It has been overwhelming. There are so many great and wonderful men out there that are educated and are willing to look beyond someones status to see the real you.
Who teaches that gay sex is only anal sex? I certainly didn't get that in sex ed. You don't like anal sex. Wonderful. I hope you have plenty of great assless sex and enjoy the shit hell out of it. But, the majority of gay people love anal sex. Just because your particular perversion does not click with so many guys doesn't mean there is some vast conspiracy against you frot-lovers. You have a kink. Your kink is not having anal sex. Other people's kinks are having their balls stepped on by high heel shoes, getting peed on, or dressing like a bear and getting blow jobs. Those are not popular, or heavily featured kinks. Yet, I don't think I know a kinkster who spends so much time complaining about being oppressed by the vanilla masses.
Let. It. Go.
Nobody has to formally teach that gay sex is only anal sex because gay men and the media do a well enough job of making sure the terms "gay sex" and "anal sex" are synonymous enough to interchange regularly. When you tell someone that you're gay you might as well have also told them that you have anal sex because that's exactly what they're going to think.
What makes you think anal sex isn't the "kink", seeing as how the anus isn't even a sex organ? Anal is about as pertinent to sex as balloons are. But, apparently, majority rules here.
G_Force saidI think the reason that there may be more cases of hiv among gays than str8s, even though there are more str8's than gays is because str8's usually use a condom because they don't want to have a baby, whereas many gays go bare, which is how hiv is often transmitted. That's just my thought.
Sorry but your thought is not supported by the CDC HIV surveillance reports.Every year that sees an increase is STD's in the STr8 population HIV rates have not increase. That holds the same for the gay population. I grant you the last time I got the surveillance monthly reports were 1995 so I am a few years in the dark. However I don't remember any reporting of increased HIV infection in the str8 population but do of the other STD's
The increase on other STD tells you they don't use condoms like we think they do. Sorry
Are str8 people more resistant to hiv infection then?
G_Force saidI think the reason that there may be more cases of hiv among gays than str8s, even though there are more str8's than gays is because str8's usually use a condom because they don't want to have a baby, whereas many gays go bare, which is how hiv is often transmitted. That's just my thought.
Sorry but your thought is not supported by the CDC HIV surveillance reports.Every year that sees an increase is STD's in the STr8 population HIV rates have not increase. That holds the same for the gay population. I grant you the last time I got the surveillance monthly reports were 1995 so I am a few years in the dark. However I don't remember any reporting of increased HIV infection in the str8 population but do of the other STD's
The increase on other STD tells you they don't use condoms like we think they do. Sorry
Are str8 people more resistant to hiv infection then?
i dont know about this guys theory, none of my straight friends use condums cuz the girls are always on birth control, and i always tell them a baby isnt all u have to worry about... just wrap it up guys. the reason why HIV is more prevalent in the gay community is because the lining in ur ass is VERY absorbent thats why u can take medicine that route... and the lining is also very thin so it tears alot and theres alot of openings... so yeah...
G_Force saidI think the reason that there may be more cases of hiv among gays than str8s, even though there are more str8's than gays is because str8's usually use a condom because they don't want to have a baby, whereas many gays go bare, which is how hiv is often transmitted. That's just my thought.
Sorry but your thought is not supported by the CDC HIV surveillance reports.Every year that sees an increase is STD's in the STr8 population HIV rates have not increase. That holds the same for the gay population. I grant you the last time I got the surveillance monthly reports were 1995 so I am a few years in the dark. However I don't remember any reporting of increased HIV infection in the str8 population but do of the other STD's
The increase on other STD tells you they don't use condoms like we think they do. Sorry
Are str8 people more resistant to hiv infection then?
i dont know about this guys theory, none of my straight friends use condums cuz the girls are always on birth control, and i always tell them a baby isnt all u have to worry about... just wrap it up guys. the reason why HIV is more prevalent in the gay community is because the lining in ur ass is VERY absorbent thats why u can take medicine that route... and the lining is also very thin so it tears alot and theres alot of openings... so yeah...
so perhaps there's something to not putting dicks in the ass then
G_Force saidIt is all covered in sex ed classes in school today, so unless guys are sleeping and not paying attention, there's no reason for anyone graduating today for not knowing the truth about hiv. Some choose to ignore the truth and this is an entirely different problem.
My school's sex education was complete abstinence until marriage. And gays were going to hell. And masturbation is wrong. So there is plenty of examples of people graduating from school with absolutely no info on safe sex.
G_Force saidI think the reason that there may be more cases of hiv among gays than str8s, even though there are more str8's than gays is because str8's usually use a condom because they don't want to have a baby, whereas many gays go bare, which is how hiv is often transmitted. That's just my thought.
Sorry but your thought is not supported by the CDC HIV surveillance reports.Every year that sees an increase is STD's in the STr8 population HIV rates have not increase. That holds the same for the gay population. I grant you the last time I got the surveillance monthly reports were 1995 so I am a few years in the dark. However I don't remember any reporting of increased HIV infection in the str8 population but do of the other STD's
The increase on other STD tells you they don't use condoms like we think they do. Sorry
Are str8 people more resistant to hiv infection then?
i dont know about this guys theory, none of my straight friends use condums cuz the girls are always on birth control, and i always tell them a baby isnt all u have to worry about... just wrap it up guys. the reason why HIV is more prevalent in the gay community is because the lining in ur ass is VERY absorbent thats why u can take medicine that route... and the lining is also very thin so it tears alot and theres alot of openings... so yeah...
To answer Blondizgd and waxon: You are assuming str8 don't have anal sex: Wrong.
Saying the vagina is super strong compared to the rectum walls doesn't hold water that theory has not been proven.
Take a look at the CDC HIV Surveillance reports over the last 26 yrs. The prevalence of HIV in gay, straight, IV drug user has not changed. It show up in the same percentages that it started with.
It the early 80's ( 84 to 85 )they said there were an estimated 5 to 6 million people infected with HIV in the US that changed to less than 600,000 by the mid 90"s. I don't know what it is now.
Aids researcher and activist lobbied for large amounts of research money based on early mid 80's projections that every hospital bed in the US would have only AIDS patients. No room for anyone else. Didn't happen.
MY Point: there are a lot of unproven theories running around about HIV and AIDS. Much of this comes from the " WE THINK GUYS"
There are a lot of proven research information out there on what HIV is , what it can and can not do. Reading it all will take you years and years, it did me.
Before you put out information be sure it is backed by proven verifiable research. Or statistics backed by the CDC surveillance reports
Blondizgd you asked a good question to which I do not know the answer nor does anyone else about str8 HIV infection prevalence. I have two sheets of questions about HIV and AIDS that I would like to find proven verifiable answers to.
It the early 80's ( 84 to 85 )they said there were an estimated 5 to 6 million people infected with HIV in the US that changed to less than 600,000 by the mid 90"s. I don't know what it is now.
Aids researcher and activist lobbied for large amounts of research money based on early mid 80's projections that every hospital bed in the US would have only AIDS patients. No room for anyone else. Didn't happen.
Should read
IN the early 80's ( 84 to 85 )they ( HIV researchers ans AIDS activists ) said there were an estimated 5 to 6 million people infected with HIV in the US that changed to less than 600,000 by the mid 90"s. I don't know what it is now.
Aids researcher and activist lobbied for large amounts of research money based on early mid 80's projections that every hospital bed in the US BY 1990 would have only AIDS patients. No room for anyone else. Didn't happen.
There is also ignorance in the gay community in regard to intestinal parasites. Certain kinds are prevalent enough in the gay population against the background population that it makes gay men an at risk group for them.
I would have no problem dating/having safe sex with someone who is HIV positive.
Its so difficult to find decent, intelligent, warm, real men out there. I don't want to shrink the options even more by eliminating anyone who is poz.
Conversly, once I was starting to develop real feelings for this one guy and he told me he was poz and couldn't date someone who wasn't. That tore me up a little since it seemed my feelings didn't matter.
KissingPro saidI would have no problem dating/having safe sex with someone who is HIV positive.
Its so difficult to find decent, intelligent, warm, real men out there. I don't want to shrink the options even more by eliminating anyone who is poz.
Conversly, once I was starting to develop real feelings for this one guy and he told me he was poz and couldn't date someone who wasn't. That tore me up a little since it seemed my feelings didn't matter.
Sorry that happened to you!
I have some long time friends, couples that are mixed -/+. Some have been together 15 yrs or more and have very strong loving relationships.
Let me repeat something you just said.: Its so difficult to find decent, INTELLIGENT, warm, REAL men out there!!!!!!
I understand being poz is a tough burden to bare and I respect Razzmaniac's attempt to do the right thing; being up front. I watched my best friend die 10 years ago from AIDS so I'm uber cautious.
So I resent being told that I'm discriminatory or ignorant because I choose to not have sex with someone who is poz. It's just my choice. I have friends who are poz and I certainly don't treat them like leapers.
I can't say that, if I were negative, I wouldn't also avoid sex with positive guys...but I know that I wouldn't avoid social contact with 'em.
One thing to you negative guys, it would go a long way if you'd put a little thought into how you describe your status. "Clean", "DDF", etc. are descriptive, but imply that those of us unlucky enough be "Dirty" or "Diseased Pariahs" are...so, breathe your sigh of relief, but perhaps just indicating that you're "HIV-" or "Negative" is sufficiently descriptive?
And, as for the remainder of the "DDF" status...while I am aware of HIV bug-chasers, I don't recall ever seeing anyone specifically searching for any other sexually transmitted disease/illness...so you probably should just ask your guy before the act instead of advertising for it. I'm just sayin'. (grin)
bradsmith saidI can't say that, if I were negative, I wouldn't also avoid sex with positive guys...but I know that I wouldn't avoid social contact with 'em.
One thing to you negative guys, it would go a long way if you'd put a little thought into how you describe your status. "Clean", "DDF", etc. are descriptive, but imply that those of us unlucky enough be "Dirty" or "Diseased Pariahs" are...so, breathe your sigh of relief, but perhaps just indicating that you're "HIV-" or "Negative" is sufficiently descriptive?
And, as for the remainder of the "DDF" status...while I am aware of HIV bug-chasers, I don't recall ever seeing anyone specifically searching for any other sexually transmitted disease/illness...so you probably should just ask your guy before the act instead of advertising for it. I'm just sayin'. (grin)
Read your profile your not alone in your experience in no meds no problems. Did you ever get retested using the gold standard Western Blot? The HIV literature has examples of guys testing positive going on meds wasting away then went back in to retest and were never positive to begin with. I was to a few town meeting in the Castro in late 80 that had guys talk about testing poz then retesting neg. Something to think about if you haven't.
thanks Chuck I just looked at table 3 just now about new infection rates per 100,000. Those are the same risk groups in approximately the same percentage since the beginning 82-83. Interesting to note in 2006 the year of the table that new female infections were due to IV drug use and sex with high risk people.
I used to be frustrated by situations similar to the OP's, but in recent years I look at it as a blessing in disguise. If there is even a hint of hesitation, let alone a cutting off of contact as Razz has described, I'm done with them. I do not have the time for anyone who is uneducated or uncomfortable with my HIV status whether that be for a hook-up, dating or even friendship. I don't even talk to those who want me to further their education on the matter. I'm sorry, but if you're smart enough to communicate online and haven't educated yourself on HIV, you're damaged goods on a whole host of levels in my book. All the information you'll ever need is a few keystrokes away and if you haven't accessed it yet you're lazy and/or exceptionally stupid. If you have opinions and preferences concerning the HIV status of your potential partner, that is certainly your right, but if those choices are formed out of anything other than a well educated opinion, you're not worth my time.
KissingPro saidI would have no problem dating/having safe sex with someone who is HIV positive.
Its so difficult to find decent, intelligent, warm, real men out there. I don't want to shrink the options even more by eliminating anyone who is poz.
Conversly, once I was starting to develop real feelings for this one guy and he told me he was poz and couldn't date someone who wasn't. That tore me up a little since it seemed my feelings didn't matter.
Thats the problem bro. . .i have never dated anyone who WAS poz. . .always a neg guy. Being poz, i didnt know if i could. . i know that sounds odd and in my own way discriminating, but i have now been fooling around with other poz guys (safely) and found there is a bond there. . i always call it the "brotherhood". I guess the best way to explain it is like an interracial couple. you can love eachother but there is that one huge issue thats missing. Dont get me wrong, a man is a man. . i can love anyone. . regardless of status, just happened to be i always ended up with neg guys. Lived in areas where really noone i knew was poz or the only poz guys were totally barebackers and drug users. THAT is not my thing. A month ago i hooked up with a guy on line who is poz, we had such an amazing night. . not just the sex, but the conversation. . .it was, as he put it, powerful and somewhat spiritual. And it was. . . cant explain it. . . but i never felt that special bond with anyone negative. Its very sad though for YOU that this guy discriminates against negative guys. . . always some sort of discrtimination in the gay commmunity. . .so sad and so sorry for you. But YOU are the better person for accpeting him regardless of his status. . .thank you
GuerrillaSodomite saidI used to be frustrated by situations similar to the OP's, but in recent years I look at it as a blessing in disguise. If there is even a hint of hesitation, let alone a cutting off of contact as Razz has described, I'm done with them. I do not have the time for anyone who is uneducated or uncomfortable with my HIV status whether that be for a hook-up, dating or even friendship. I don't even talk to those who want me to further their education on the matter. I'm sorry, but if you're smart enough to communicate online and haven't educated yourself on HIV, you're damaged goods on a whole host of levels in my book. All the information you'll ever need is a few keystrokes away and if you haven't accessed it yet you're lazy and/or exceptionally stupid. If you have opinions and preferences concerning the HIV status of your potential partner, that is certainly your right, but if those choices are formed out of anything other than a well educated opinion, you're not worth my time.
I find it absolutely amazing the difference in intelligence and ignorance in even generation gaps.. . . there can be men in their 40s who have been out their whole lives who say "absolutely not" to sex with a poz guy. . .and then there are are guys in their 20s who say to me "as much as i am educated about it, and as much as i know how to protect myself, it does NOT bother me that you are poz" . . . . isnt that something?? Im not saying everyone should be open to poz sex, but the education is not consistant, and lacks greatly in this community.
Razz, Well I can understand older guys being more nervous about it since they are more likely to have negative experiences with HIV as people died from it vs younger guys where that is not the case so for them it's more of something they've heard about as opposed to experienced.
But also you have to take into consideration that there is risk beyond sex and also certain other diseases have a higher incidence among men who are infected with HIV than men who aren't. I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it all just show that people can have reasons for it.
Hi guys, I've not been on here for a few months (relationship breakdown, but im getting back int he swing of things with life and the gym), so here's my first post for a while...
As a British guy I wanted to put across my point from the UK.
What has traditionally been thought of as something that affects only those living in poverty and third world countries has now become a living reality in the UK. The number of gay men testing positive for HIV is at an all time high and does not seem to be slowing.
Whilst it is an unfortunate fact, gay men still remain the behavioural group at greatest risk of contracting HIV. Figures released by the Health Protection Agency have seen a 63% increase in the number of newly diagnosed cases of HIV infection amongst gay men with 2,700 new cases reported in 2006 alone. The most alarming report to have been released reveals that approximately 10% of gay men living in London are HIV positive.
UK Government finance for HIV prevention among men who have sex with men is woefully inadequate. We are affected the most, yet we get much less than half the funding. HIV has been degayed to the point where those most likely to be at risk of infection – gay and bi men - are often sidelined in public education campaigns. This has to change. The government must reprioritise awareness and prevention work with same-sexers.
In my last relationship I did have unprotected sex with my partner, we trusted each other, well I thought I trusted him. I was tested a few monts back and I had the all clear.
Razz sorry to hear you are getting this reaction, but alot of guys who are hiv poz, not you!, go onto having unpeotected sex because they feel they already have it. Research has told us it is a virus and will mutate and become stronger with more strains. Also many men, again not you, are co- infected with hiv and an std or hepatitis. I think this might explain why some men are fearful. I applaud you being upfront about your status and wish you continued health. Again as I have said in another thread- gay men calling other gay men family is a joke!!
I have never actually met a Poz person in my life at least that I have known. Would I date one... most likely not since at some point I would like to be able to bb with my guy and I mean I'd have the ring on it and yeah we are an a fully committed everything but married (since I live in texas) status but maybe married if we go somewhere else and get it done. Just my thing though. Its quite rude for anyone to react that way to someone. We are all human and everyone gets or has been sick.Sorry to hear about that. That sucks and I really wish you the best of luck.
I would never stop talking with a guy just because he is Poz, nor would I have any trouble giving him a kiss and hug!!!!!!!!
In the 80s before the news hit the media about HIV AIDS, the gay plauge, I was working in a bathhouse, and being a bloke from a farm with big shoulders arms and legs, and calves to die for, as well a nice smile with good teeth. One was very popular, and I had a fucking good time, I was latter to find out even with guys at that time who did not know they were infected, no-one did. I even had a sexual relationship with a HIV+ guy who failed to inform me he was HIV+, even after being asked, and he encouraged unsafe sex too. Yet all these years latter I'm still HIV-
But the thing that had an ever lasting effect on me, was knowing guys were HIV+, and they were failing to inform their sexual partners of this for fear of rejection, and fear their dick would miss out on the party. Infecting people along the way, many who are dead now, from a very slow death.
This was a community I stood by where so many fled out of fear, and a community I loved supported 110% and fort for, and I was to witness so many being murdered, because another did not won't to deprive their dick of enjoyment, and then they fobbed it off with : "oh I was in denial at the time!" sorry not good enough, and I know I even had people try to deliberately infect me too, out of their own bitterness.
So I well understand your frustration, because I seen it all in the early days, and survived to talk about it now. The difference is many of these guys have growen up with the term HIV, when we did not.
HIV/AIDS is many things to any of us at any given point in time...
I too find HIV to be more of a social disease; I go to the gym, eat right, take care of myself, and take my meds...so I am pretty healthy...
However, I never shook off that diseased status that came with testing HIV positive. I did the right thing, letting my sex partners know, etc...most of whom since have thrown me under the bus...
Worse- some of them have tested poz and now need someone to talk to- I ask them to talk to their caseworker...
Last year, I went public with my HIV status- it's out there- no secret- on all my profiles, etc...it's just a part of the packaged deal that you have to know about-
Today, I take comfort in understanding that someone else's comfort level with me being HIV Positive isn't my demon to deal with- but their...
And yes, it is sad, that more than some in the gay community look at HIV as a scarlet letter and to no end will try to wreak social havoc on our lives.
Taking control of my health and my status took the wind out of their sails...
My doctor said I would die an old man- and I believe she is right...like a good patient, I continue to leave the worrying to her while holding up my end of the bargain to take care of myself...
GuerrillaSodomite saidI used to be frustrated by situations similar to the OP's, but in recent years I look at it as a blessing in disguise. If there is even a hint of hesitation, let alone a cutting off of contact as Razz has described, I'm done with them. I do not have the time for anyone who is uneducated or uncomfortable with my HIV status whether that be for a hook-up, dating or even friendship. I don't even talk to those who want me to further their education on the matter. I'm sorry, but if you're smart enough to communicate online and haven't educated yourself on HIV, you're damaged goods on a whole host of levels in my book. All the information you'll ever need is a few keystrokes away and if you haven't accessed it yet you're lazy and/or exceptionally stupid. If you have opinions and preferences concerning the HIV status of your potential partner, that is certainly your right, but if those choices are formed out of anything other than a well educated opinion, you're not worth my time.
I find it absolutely amazing the difference in intelligence and ignorance in even generation gaps.. . . there can be men in their 40s who have been out their whole lives who say "absolutely not" to sex with a poz guy. . .and then there are are guys in their 20s who say to me "as much as i am educated about it, and as much as i know how to protect myself, it does NOT bother me that you are poz" . . . . isnt that something?? Im not saying everyone should be open to poz sex, but the education is not consistant, and lacks greatly in this community.
Did you ask these guys in their 20s if they have ever sit by the bedsides of 5, 10 or 15 of thier friends and watch them dying with every breath they take?
Have you asked these guys in their 20s if they ever had to changed the beddings and the clothes of any of their friends because their freinds were too week to get up and go to the bath room on their own?
Before you act so scandalized make sure you fully understand both sides
Swallowing spunk is okay because the virus cant live within the confines of your stomach acids