MY WAKE UP CALLING please read this

  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Oct 22, 2009 2:38 AM GMT
    last weak I was in the shower and I spotted a blue print on my thigh and you have no idea how that scared me
    not just because I might have HIV but because I never came out to anyone here in my country because being gay is illegal and sometimes deadly I was afraid that this will kill my parents
    especialy the fact that there is nothing medecine can do to AIDS pationts just putting them in special places untill they die
    I spented all the last weak thinking about how I'll die , when I'll die and how I'm gonna tell my parents , friends that I'm not normal and pooftah as they call it here ( and that is a bad word to call a man here )
    I kept recalling when I was not safe and I actualy remembered a few times
    I read that AIDS also can come to u from oral sex which I'm always not safe in it
    today I went to have an HIV test and the doctor told me to wait an hour
    my life passed in front of me in that hour and I had my best best friend beside me who is the only hetro person who know about my sexuality and I just lost it
    I became crying and my heart beated so fast I tought I'm having a heart attack
    I couldn't go back to the clinic because my legs weren't moving and my friend went for me
    when he came back and gave me a paper telling me that I don't have HIV the pain just didn't fade away and the fear was stronger
    I tought what if I had it ,,, I mean I sure did a lots of things in the past that might give it to me because I wasn't 100% safe , I think I wasn't even 50% safe

    HIV here in my country just means death not only physicly but also socialy
    I thank God I don't have it and I swear to God never to put myself in that position again
    AND I HOPE YOU DO TOOicon_idea.gif

    Moe Salim
    PS : sorry for my realy bad english
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2009 2:46 AM GMT

    Hey there, Moe,

    We'd like you to go back and get tested again in 3 months, if you would please.
    Both of us know how hard and scary this is, but it is also showing and teaching you something about trusting another when it comes to sex.



    a hug from Canada (two actually) -us
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Oct 22, 2009 2:59 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Hey there, Moe,

    We'd like you to go back and get tested again in 3 months, if you would please.
    Both of us know how hard and scary this is, but it is also showing and teaching you something about trusting another when it comes to sex.



    a hug from Canada (two actually) -us



    thanx alot
    I'm planning to do so
    but I can't help myself from feeling releaved

    just I wonder is there a big chance that test is too early and can't proove anything ???
    is it ????
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2009 3:01 AM GMT

    OK, how long since the last time you had sex with someone?

    The longer it's been, the surer you can be.
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Oct 22, 2009 3:07 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    OK, how long since the last time you had sex with someone?

    The longer it's been, the surer you can be.


    ok I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago and didn't have sex ever since
    eccebt for one oral sex with a friend of mine and he is not gay and I'm sure it was his first time he is a realy good friend of mine and I'm sure he never been with a girl or a guy before me
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Oct 22, 2009 3:09 AM GMT
    I'm also a little sure that my ex is not because he is faithful and a DOCTOR who get tested a lot in his work
    but u never know !!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2009 3:12 AM GMT

    lol, we sent you an email, thinking you may prefer some privacy, but this is fine.

    A test that's OK at six weeks since sex is best ( but you know, you're very likely OK). Your hand's your best friend at the moment. Better is a test at 3 months. Best is testing at 6 months. Guaranteed OK at that point.


    Keep it SAFE. icon_wink.gif
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Oct 22, 2009 3:16 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    lol, we sent you an email, thinking you may prefer some privacy, but this is fine.

    A test that's OK at six weeks since sex is best ( but you know, you're very likely OK). Your hand's your best friend at the moment. Better is a test at 3 months. Best is testing at 6 months. Guaranteed OK at that point.


    Keep it SAFE. icon_wink.gif


    sorry I'm tooo slow
    I read the email after posting this

    thanx again
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 22, 2009 6:21 AM GMT
    You speak excellent English.
    Thanks for sharing your story.
    A similar thing happened to me, in that I had unsafe sex with someone many times over a period of about 4 weeks.
    Like yours, my test came back negative.
    It made me feel very grateful, and reminded me to have common sense instead of feeling desperate enough to have sex with someone that I was willing to take a chance and and risk my health (and maybe my life).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2009 7:03 AM GMT
    Please don't hate me... -but didn't you say you barebacked 8/10 times because HIV is *almost* nonexistent? I hope you are negative, but I don't think you'll be getting my sympathy. Play safe and stay sane, because no one is immune.
    (No Troll.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2009 7:38 AM GMT
    Mohannned saidlast weak I was in the shower and I spotted a blue print on my thigh and you have no idea how that scared me
    not just because I might have HIV but because I never came out to anyone here in my country because being gay is illegal and sometimes deadly I was afraid that this will kill my parents
    especialy the fact that there is nothing medecine can do to AIDS pationts just putting them in special places untill they die
    I spented all the last weak thinking about how I'll die , when I'll die and how I'm gonna tell my parents , friends that I'm not normal and pooftah as they call it here ( and that is a bad word to call a man here )
    I kept recalling when I was not safe and I actualy remembered a few times
    I read that AIDS also can come to u from oral sex which I'm always not safe in it
    today I went to have an HIV test and the doctor told me to wait an hour
    my life passed in front of me in that hour and I had my best best friend beside me who is the only hetro person who know about my sexuality and I just lost it
    I became crying and my heart beated so fast I tought I'm having a heart attack
    I couldn't go back to the clinic because my legs weren't moving and my friend went for me
    when he came back and gave me a paper telling me that I don't have HIV the pain just didn't fade away and the fear was stronger
    I tought what if I had it ,,, I mean I sure did a lots of things in the past that might give it to me because I wasn't 100% safe , I think I wasn't even 50% safe

    HIV here in my country just means death not only physicly but also socialy
    I thank God I don't have it and I swear to God never to put myself in that position again
    AND I HOPE YOU DO TOOicon_idea.gif

    Moe Salim
    PS : sorry for my realy bad english


    Bringing the positive message back...glad to hear you're ok Mohannned. Panic is a pretty normal emotion in a situation like that. Safe sex is totally worth it.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Oct 22, 2009 1:47 PM GMT
    Hey Mohanned,
    Yeah, you should still be careful there are other diseases you can catch from unprotected sex and even from protected sex (condom) that might not have symptoms for awhile if at all. Guys can be carriers of various types of infections that can go undetected for some people but then show up later. There really isn't such a thing as safe sex, just keep that in mind.

    I wish that term was never used because it gives people a sense of security like they aren't putting themselves at risk for disease if they practice 'safe sex' but there are a lot of diseases that can still be transferred during 'safe sex' that are not even usually thought of as sexually transmitted diseases. Even acts that are not considered sex acts by a lot of people can transfer disease, like simple touching and kissing.
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Oct 22, 2009 4:25 PM GMT
    Diffident_Sunshine saidPlease don't hate me... -but didn't you say you barebacked 8/10 times because HIV is *almost* nonexistent? I hope you are negative, but I don't think you'll be getting my sympathy. Play safe and stay sane, because no one is immune.
    (No Troll.)


    I had a feeling that u'd say that
    to tell u the truth too I don't have my own sympathy because I know how much I played with fire
    the problem I study in medical school and I know the risks and I took them without fear
    I know that anything will happen will be just an outcome of my actions
    but in either ways it's as I said a wake up calling to me

    and thanx realy
    MOE
  • victor8

    Posts: 237

    Oct 22, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    My Friend,
    I know it is very hard to be gay in your country, but it is not bad to be gay....God loves you just the way you are....i would advise going on the internet and looking uo safer sex practices....it is very very rare to bet hiv from oral sex...you would have to have an open sore in your mouth...
    be safe, be sane, arm yourself with knowledge. You Are Perfect The Way You Are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2009 4:40 PM GMT
    Mohannned, I notice your profile says you "sometimes" practice safe sex - I hope after your scare you seriously make that "Always".
  • Mohannned

    Posts: 280

    Oct 22, 2009 7:44 PM GMT
    victor8 saidMy Friend,
    I know it is very hard to be gay in your country, but it is not bad to be gay....God loves you just the way you are....i would advise going on the internet and looking uo safer sex practices....it is very very rare to bet hiv from oral sex...you would have to have an open sore in your mouth...
    be safe, be sane, arm yourself with knowledge. You Are Perfect The Way You Are.


    thank u so much
    but I never been ashamed of my sexuality
    actually maybe I'm the only proud gay in my country
    but that deosn't make other people ashamed of me
    I have friends who left me just for rumores

    thanx again Moe
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 22, 2009 11:47 PM GMT
    I hope you are doing well now, and I also hope that you get another HIV test in a few months just to make completely sure you're okay.

    I was raised in an area where being gay was not okay, but at least I was eventually able to move to a different city where it was okay. I also came of age when AIDS first started showing up, so I know very well how much practicing safe sex is important.