false dichotomy. it's brilliant. it underscores the complete intellectual bankruptcy of such absurd arguments as DADT, DOMA, and misguided state initiatives as prop 8 in cali and prop 2 in florida.
then again, it is the onion, and that comes as no surprise (unless you are part of the population segment that believes fox news is actually 'fair and balanced' and actually 'news'; in which case, yes, this is a literal story and a genuine issue to write your representative about. do so now and don't delay. keep the purity of horse racing from from any abnormal homosexual taint).