One of the travesties of our time is that we lost so many of our older gay men to HIV... which makes me sad. It seems like it is starting to correct itself with time fortunately. I have always been drawn to older... even geriatric peolple, not sexually but socially.
I had an 85 year old friend who was gay. I would help him in his garden, we met when he was 73 and he was having a hard time getting around and working his garden. Once every few months he would hit on me, but in a wonderful, sweet way. He'd ask if I was ready to be boyfriends and offer to take care of me and make sure I was always ok. He would ask every few months but was always totally respectful and courteous. We talked about everything and had many, many wonderful times sitting in his garden up to our elbows in soil, weeds and pruned branches. That someone thought so much of me that he would want to spend his remaining days with me was a wonderful compliment even though I refused each time. I sat with him while he was in a coma, and later when he died on a respirator. He was indeed my friend... I miss him.
I have a new friend who is 10 years older than me, we actually met online when I was looking for a friend with benefits. We never got to the benefits part but he is turning out to be a whole new category of friend. He's in the demographic of "white privilege" and we have very little in common socially, but it's oddly refreshing.
I don't have many gay male friends who I can really confide in... aside from my new older friend, there is one who is about 5 years older, and ex boyfriend and also my boss... peculiar situation really.
Gay friendships are so difficult because of the hypersexualization of our identities as a community. I have many more straight and lesbian friends because there isn't the flippant disregard for sexual boundaries like there are with gay men.
I guess it's a double edged sword because the fluidity of gay sexuality can be so wonderful and unlimited under the right circumstances. What can you do?