Were you sexually molested as a child?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2007 8:17 AM GMT
    I'm curious to how predominant having been sexually molested by a teenager or adult male is amoung gay/bisexual men.
    To your knowledge, were you ever abused or molested?
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    Dec 17, 2007 9:24 AM GMT
    i had a cousin that liked to wrestle me alot, i was 11 and he was 15. it then went from rough housing to touching. then the very unkind tasks of me performing acts for him. It never got to him penetrating me, but it came so close. I've had sessions to deal with it, and i've trampled on the horrible experience. even though i must say i wonder how things would of turned out if nothing happened to me. I mean maybe it would be the same or maybe things would be different.
  • Drewboo

    Posts: 28

    Dec 17, 2007 9:26 AM GMT
    Um... no. But several preachers have insisted that I have been molested although it never happened. None of my gay friends were either to my knowledge. I know some heterosexuals who were molested by the same gender but they are extremely homophobic, and still heterosexual.
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    Dec 17, 2007 11:37 AM GMT
    Yeah, but I had worse things happen to me.
  • Silent_Angel

    Posts: 63

    Dec 17, 2007 2:49 PM GMT
    yes for the first 15 years if my life
    icon_redface.gif
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    Dec 17, 2007 3:28 PM GMT
    Nope.
  • Alan95823

    Posts: 306

    Dec 17, 2007 3:34 PM GMT
    Yep, regularly from about 14-16. Until I convinced Mom that I was getting bullied at school, and got her to buy me a book titled "Nerve Centers & Pressure Points"...

    I started causing him pain that didn't do permanent damage or leave marks every time he tried to start something, and eventually he stopped.
  • Paradigm_Shif...

    Posts: 251

    Dec 17, 2007 3:36 PM GMT
    Never
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    Dec 17, 2007 4:53 PM GMT
    This question is why RJ should have blogs with "friends only" settings.

    But no, not to my knowledge.
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    Dec 17, 2007 5:34 PM GMT
    started when i was 5, ended when i was 10...some other things happened as well, but i'm not going into detail about it.
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    Dec 17, 2007 7:06 PM GMT
    I never was, but I have reason to believe that my sister was by an ex-non relative-uncle. My brother, not aware of anything.
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    Dec 17, 2007 7:13 PM GMT
    I was begining at around 11. I went through puberty early and my own sexual curiosity made me an easy target for older men. This went on way into my teenaged years. The effects of such trauma can't be measured. Its amazing how ma an unhealthy sexual experience as a child can bring on problems later in life.

    Luckily I am a big fan of therapy and have a partner that has guided me through some of the stages of denial and acceptance. I have a friend who went through the same experience and it ruined his life.

    Key is to live on... Would be more than happy to discuss with others in a more private forum.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2007 8:34 PM GMT
    Nope--

    I messed around with my cousin when we were teenagers, but he turned out to be straight. Or so he says. Though I wonder, since he still has the abs of a 25 year old and he married an older woman with children and they don't have any of their own together. Hmmm. Anyway, we're still close and the subject never--er--arises. I wonder if he even remembers.

    But this was off topic, because it wasn't abusive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2007 8:34 PM GMT
    A controversial study was done several years ago, of which this was part of the topic.

    It looked at other research that put rates of gay men who experienced sexual abuse as a child at 27%-36%, compared to the total for all men at 14%.

    But the study said that many men do not perceive the experience as negative. For example, a 16 year old has sex with a 21 year old and by conventional, clinical definition is a victim of sexual abuse. (I am not in this field, so if I am reading this wrong, please correct me.)

    You can read a synopsis here
    http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_4_41/ai_n9488757
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Dec 17, 2007 8:48 PM GMT
    Yup.
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    Dec 17, 2007 11:51 PM GMT
    Yes, and it's a topic I have covered in my writing. It was a very therapeutic way of dealing with deep seated emotions. I don't want to go into it here, though.

    xxp
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    Dec 18, 2007 1:11 AM GMT
    Yeah...woke up one night while tent camping and found an older boy scout sucking on my weaner......

    i pretended i was asleep and rolled over on my stomach...to break it off.

    I thought it was funny the next day but never went near that dude again.
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    Dec 18, 2007 4:36 PM GMT
    I was sexually abused by a family member when I was very young and blocked it from my memory until I was 19 and coming out. I don't believe it had an impact on me being gay, but it has affected many other areas of my life and my relationships. I was also physically and emotionally abused, so it's hard to determine what had the most impact. I have many gaps in memory from my childhood and suspect I was abused by another family member who is now dead, making it hard to confirm. Thank God for therapy! I didn't talk about the sexual abuse for a long time, but once I started to talk I found out it is more common than I thought. I know both heterosexuals and GLBT people who were abused. As others have said, I would be willing to talk more about it via e-mail.
  • fryblock

    Posts: 387

    Dec 18, 2007 4:44 PM GMT
    nope, but i was "sexual" with a neighbor in elementary school.
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    Dec 18, 2007 4:49 PM GMT
    Nope.
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Dec 18, 2007 5:24 PM GMT
    I was not sexually molested as a child (I have been raped as an adult, yet that also meant that I had more mental tools at my disposal in working through it).

    The first guy I met with once I started exploring gay sexuality was a potential molester as his only interest was to be the first guy to fuck me (while pretending to be otherwise concerned about my sexual development). I suspect that there could be a correlation between young men's / teenaged boys who are going through initial exploration as gay and being molested by guys who take advantage of their vulnerability.

    An example of the latter from Norway is Member of Parliament André Oktay Dahl (of the Conservative Party) who, earlier this year, went public with his molestation experience from his initial explorations of his gay sexuality (the first man he met with pretended to have been signficantly younger and proceeded to rape him).

    The link is to his Parliament profile page; I have not found an English translation of the media coverage of his molestation.

    Ed: clarified that Oktay Dahl's first gay sexual experience was his molestation experience (from what I recall from the articles)
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Dec 18, 2007 5:40 PM GMT
    Yes. I posted the incident in one of the earlier thread already. I was 19. It happen because of my own naivity and stupidity. Luckily I come out of it alive and wiser.
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    Dec 19, 2007 5:00 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for your honest answers. I too believe I was molested as a very young child and I do wonder if it has anything to do with my curiosity now.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Dec 19, 2007 6:24 AM GMT
    No. But I dated a guy who was.
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    Dec 19, 2007 6:50 AM GMT
    No. If a higher proportion of gay and bisexual men than straight men report being sexually molested as children, couldn't that just mean that gay and bi men are more likely to admit that it happened? I think it does happen to a lot of children.