Question Of The Day...

  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Oct 25, 2009 1:51 AM GMT
    If someone you had a serious crush on told you they thought you were a douche, and did not want anything to do with you, would your feelings be hurt, or would you just brush it off, and get over it.
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:00 AM GMT
    Uhh isn't that pretty obvious? I'd be pretty bummed, hence the 'serious crush'. However at least that way I know not to pursue them.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 25, 2009 2:01 AM GMT
    I'd be hurt.
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:08 AM GMT
    OH! OUCH!...That's gonna leave a mark.... sorry!
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:18 AM GMT
    I doubt anyone has mastered totally being unaffected by rejection, so don't be hard on yourself if your hurting. You'll rise above it, and as you experience more of it in all aspects of life you'll find you like yourself too much to let rejection affect you for very long after something like this happens.
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:24 AM GMT
    NyRuinz saidIf someone you had a serious crush on told you they thought you were a douche, and did not want anything to do with you, would your feelings be hurt, or would you just brush it off, and get over it.


    I'd be hurt, but ignore them, and move on...but I'd glower at them at any time I would happen to be in the same room as them so that they know I hate them. Yup, I'm immature like that. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:30 AM GMT
    JakeBenson said
    NyRuinz saidIf someone you had a serious crush on told you they thought you were a douche, and did not want anything to do with you, would your feelings be hurt, or would you just brush it off, and get over it.


    I'd be hurt, but ignore them, and move on...but I'd glower at them at any time I would happen to be in the same room as them so that they know I hate them. Yup, I'm immature like that. icon_smile.gif
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> LOL !!! JakeBenson your shamelessly honest, I think we'd all have a tendency to want to do that.
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:31 AM GMT
    realifedad said I doubt anyone has mastered totally being unaffected by rejection, so don't be hard on yourself if your hurting. You'll rise above it, and as you experience more of it in all aspects of life you'll find you like yourself too much to let rejection affect you for very long after something like this happens.


    I must AGREE with realifedad on this one and want to add that one of the better things about getting a few years on you is the experience and the "toughening" of the skin after taking a few of these unfair and unexpected shots....They still hurt, but you are a little quicker to let it go and move on.....
    Also know that when you are "good with yourself" and secure in who you are and what you stand for and your place in your life, you find that you don't worry so much about what others think or say or do....most guys don't really get that type of self confidence until after age 40 or so....learn the lesson and mark it up to experience...and move on to the next crush! We still love you!
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:31 AM GMT
    realifedad said
    JakeBenson said
    NyRuinz saidIf someone you had a serious crush on told you they thought you were a douche, and did not want anything to do with you, would your feelings be hurt, or would you just brush it off, and get over it.


    I'd be hurt, but ignore them, and move on...but I'd glower at them at any time I would happen to be in the same room as them so that they know I hate them. Yup, I'm immature like that. icon_smile.gif
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> LOL !!! JakeBenson your shamelessly honest, I think we'd all have a tendency to want to do that.


    Hahahahah I actually have a talent for making people feel like shit. It's not just limited to this site. icon_cool.gif
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:45 AM GMT

    We'd ask "In what way?". If you're obnoxious or someone thinks you are, it's an opportunity to self-examine.
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:50 AM GMT
    I'd say...."If I'm a douche all the more reason for you to use me because you stink, bitch!"

    ..........................................................
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    Oct 25, 2009 2:59 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    We'd ask "In what way?". If you're obnoxious or someone thinks you are, it's an opportunity to self-examine.


    I've self-examined myself. I've examined where I live. My personality doesn't match the West Coast, nor does it match some online mentality...then again virtually no online mentality matches everyone else's. I just need to move. If I hear one more fucking cement truck paired with a blonde fuck-wad with sun-glass blasting asshole house music out of their car while screaming on their cell-phones "omg i know right it's so sunny today" (like it isn't sunny every fucking day) and swerving across three lanes while trying to make a left without turning on their signal....then I think I'm just going to kill everything that falls on my retina.

    hahahahah wow that was a tangent!

    Yeh, I'm planning to move. I'm not impulsive so I just can't up and go. Working on GREs right now. ;) College will be my key to escape from LA.
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    Oct 25, 2009 3:05 AM GMT
    JakeBenson said
    meninlove said
    We'd ask "In what way?". If you're obnoxious or someone thinks you are, it's an opportunity to self-examine.


    I've self-examined myself. I've examined where I live. My personality doesn't match the West Coast, nor does it match some online mentality...then again virtually no online mentality matches everyone else's. I just need to move. If I hear one more fucking cement truck paired with a blonde fuck-wad with sun-glass blasting asshole house music out of their car while screaming on their cell-phones "omg i know right it's so sunny today" (like it isn't sunny every fucking day) and swerving across three lanes while trying to make a left without turning on their signal....then I think I'm just going to kill everything that falls on my retina.

    hahahahah wow that was a tangent!

    Yeh, I'm planning to move. I'm not impulsive so I just can't up and go. Working on GREs right now. ;) College will be my key to escape from LA.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Well I know this is totally off topic but since you raised the subject of moving, you really aught to move with some more guys just like you to my area. of East Tenn, Southwestern VA. We need more gay guys out here. The cost of living is low and unemployment is too, so get that degree and get out here !!! LOL
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Oct 25, 2009 3:48 AM GMT
    realifedad said I doubt anyone has mastered totally being unaffected by rejection, so don't be hard on yourself if your hurting. You'll rise above it, and as you experience more of it in all aspects of life you'll find you like yourself too much to let rejection affect you for very long after something like this happens.


    Well I actually was the one who did the rejecting. A few weeks ago I posted a thread about a friend of a friend who was really a jerk to me on several occasions, but supposedly liked me (a lot). I was not interested because I thought he had a girlfriend (I was wrong), and I was already turned off by his behavior toward me. He recently approached me to see if I wanted to go catch a movie some time, and I told him I really felt about him. I was not rude or anything, but I was honest. I am asking this question because I am feeling a little bad about what I said, but I was being real. Here is the link to that thread...


    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/659705/
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    Oct 25, 2009 4:18 AM GMT

    Well , twirtle *turns quick 180* (and now dizzy) .

    Ok, lol, you should have said so before.

    "and I told him I really felt about him. I was not rude or anything, but I was honest."

    ...so, did you tell him why you found him to be a douche?
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    Oct 25, 2009 4:21 AM GMT

    jakebenson said, "If I hear one more fucking cement truck paired with a blonde fuck-wad with sun-glass blasting asshole house music out of their car while screaming on their cell-phones "omg i know right it's so sunny today" (like it isn't sunny every fucking day) and swerving across three lanes while trying to make a left without turning on their signal....then I think I'm just going to kill everything that falls on my retina."


    *Doug and Bill snickering quietly because they just had a day full of a few people like that*
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Oct 25, 2009 4:34 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    Well , twirtle *turns quick 180* (and now dizzy) .

    Ok, lol, you should have said so before.

    "and I told him I really felt about him. I was not rude or anything, but I was honest."

    ...so, did you tell him why you found him to be a douche?


    Yes I did, and he had an excuse for everything, which turned me off even more, but he did seem to be a little shaken by what I said. His eyes were a little watery and while I was speaking to him he would turn to the side as if he didn't want me to see his face, so I was left wondering did I hurt his feelings which left me feeling a little bad.
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    Oct 25, 2009 4:45 AM GMT

    Well, we're unsure what to say because we don't know what you told him. *wink*
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 25, 2009 6:32 AM GMT
    Definitely, my feelings would be hurt.
    I hate thoughtless intentional cruelty...
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    Oct 25, 2009 6:38 AM GMT
    I'd think nothing about being called a douche because I know I'm not one. I'd much prefer this than to be strung along in the hopes of the guy liking me back.

    Excessive self reflection is for people who aren't that confident in who they are, IMO...
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    Oct 25, 2009 6:42 AM GMT
    NyRuinz saidIf someone you had a serious crush on told you they thought you were a douche, and did not want anything to do with you, would your feelings be hurt, or would you just brush it off, and get over it.


    Well if you were a serious douche, you wouldnt care, part of being a douche bag right? So if it did bother you, 1) Youre not a douche and 2) You don't need someone who can misread you so easily.

    My favorite quote towards me recently, " I know you're not evil, just a total bastard", who knew? icon_eek.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Oct 25, 2009 7:09 AM GMT

    I'd welcome their perspective and I would, if it needn't become bothersome, entreat them to tell me as to why they thought such about me. I would take this as an opportunity to learn and grow. personally, there are so many different facets to people, respectively, I would expect for them to have their reasons for seeing the world in a manner that varies from my own. I would just like to hear about such a topic from their perspective.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Oct 25, 2009 7:28 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidDefinitely, my feelings would be hurt.
    I hate thoughtless intentional cruelty...


    Okay let me clarify some things, I did not call him a douche literally, but the characteristics I used to describe him would point to him being a douche. I basically declined his invitation to go out to the movies, and I told him he isn't someone I would ever consider dating due to his rude, arrogant, selfish disposition. I let him know that I really tried my best to befriend him and on each occasion my feelings was hurt, so for future reference, if I know that he will be attending any of (friends name) get together's I will not be there. I also recommended he look at himself and his actions to see why I feel this way.
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Oct 25, 2009 8:08 AM GMT
    That level of honesty is rare. Most people just disappear when they don't like someone. Yeah, it would hurt. I have hurt people and have been hurt. Sometimes I hurt people (especially when I was younger) out of a callousness, not recognizing how someone else felt.

    I don't think there is any easy way to say no to someone, it will hurt. One does not have to be insulting or cruel in order to say no. Even with out cruelty or insult, it doesn't make it any easier to say it or hear no.
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    Oct 25, 2009 11:25 AM GMT
    yes hurt - yes brush off - and yes get over