Any bipolar people afraid of relationships for the other persons sake?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2009 11:44 PM GMT
    I've been dealing with bipolar disorder since I was 17, lots of different meds & times off meds, hospitalizations, psychotic episodes, etc.

    Well, for the longest time I haven't dated or anything, just an occasional hookup...but lately I find I want a relationship.

    What scares me is what i can turn into in a relationship, and the kind of behavior I can exhibit when I get way too out of wack or run out of meds/quit taking them for some reason or another.

    This all started the other night when an old friend called me and invited me to go check out the spookhouses. I've been infatuated with this guy for 5 or 6 years, but we've never had a relationship. He was obviously interested in something, and I know he's not the hookup type of guy. He's never seen me really crazy (I usually isolate) and my brain is screaming at me to chase after him and see what happens, and the more rational side of me says you'll probably end up ruining your friendship and regretting the whole thing....

    Sometimes I guess I just feel so damaged I should avoid interpersonal relationships period.
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    Oct 26, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    I'm sure it's been quite a journey for you, having to deal with all of the issues related to having BP disorder. I'm sorry you've probably had to deal with a lot of pain.

    My advice would be to hang out with your friend, but don't make any brash decisions. You may feel immediately compelled to try to make things happen quickly, but its probably for the best to take things slow and let things develop naturally. Give him time to show you what he wants/needs, and as always, make sure to be as honest and open as you feel comfortable being.

    There are lots of people who have BP Disorder and who have successful relationships. Sure, it can be challenging, but what relationship is free of challenges or struggles??

    Hope this helps... feel free to message me privately if you like, can message more.

    Take care!
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    Oct 26, 2009 10:09 AM GMT

    Inform the other person, let him decide whether or not he can handle it.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 26, 2009 12:47 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Inform the other person, let him decide whether or not he can handle it.


    GG is right. Let him decide.

    I let my partner decide if he could live with my OCD. It took him a long time to understand OCD, but so far he has been able to deal with it.

    Now that he understands it, he has noticed that his sister suffers from it, and is now a big support to her.

    Don't put your love life on hold because you suffer from Bipolar disorder.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Oct 27, 2009 9:18 PM GMT
    Richard Gere had it in the movie Breathless to a distructive degree. he was bi-polar manic depressive- but now they have meds for it. Hopefully you are taking care of yourself, and seeing a qualified therapist-go there for advice not here!!
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    Oct 28, 2009 2:10 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Inform the other person, let him decide whether or not he can handle it.


    What GG said, I grew up with a bipolar mother, I was around bipolar people of all sorts, I know that bipolar men and women can have successful relationships that are both grounding and uplifting for both people, but it does require someone to understand and accept the difficulties that will come with the relationship.

    The most important thing is to talk to him, let him know, let him know what the difficulties will be, let him ask questions, be willing to hear a "sorry but I can't" but be willing to try.
  • swlaman82

    Posts: 83

    Oct 28, 2009 2:20 PM GMT
    I was in a relationship with someone who is BP and from my point of view the best thing to do is to get to know this person again and let him get to know you. You obviously don't want to throw it all out there at once but over time you'll want to let him know about it and see how he handles it. My ex actully had me meet with his family so that they could tell me what he is like and what he does during is swings and what he needs from his family and friends in those times which was a big help to both of us.

    Basically, in the process of slowly getting to know each other ease him into the facts of it and see what he does. You never know, he might be able to handle it better than you think.
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    Nov 14, 2009 6:33 AM GMT
    God yes - and with good reason - they run for the hills and I don't blame them. You don't have to inform them, they find out pretty quickly. You can apologize, try explaining it - it doesn't matter. One of the reasons I've busted my ass at the gym is to try and give them something to make up for it - something that would keep them around long enough to see how manageable it can be. The reality for me is that nobody wants to deal with it. It really pisses me off sometimes because these guys are not exactly perfect themselves.
    Your experience will very likely be better than mine, your generation is cooler in general and you learned about your situation earlier.
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    Nov 14, 2009 6:54 AM GMT
    i think my bf has a small bit of bi-polar issues. it runs in the family. the beginning of our relationship was very hard sometimes. i'm a very laidback guy and when things blew up for no reason it was very frustrating. after 4 years i've learned ways to smooth things over before any trouble happens.