I'm going to sleep with everyone because I'm 21, mom!

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    Oct 26, 2009 5:48 AM GMT
    (I totally just changed the topic because I don't want to offend anyone with my sarcasm)

    LOL

    So my mother had a talk with me a couple days ago, and she was explaining to me that I needed to watch out who I had sex with. "I know you're 21 and you're wanting to get out there and test the waters, but I don't think you should be having sex all the time. I know you're young and all, but I just want you to know the risks."

    I just sorta sat there. This was the same lady that gave me not ONE sex talk- but two.

    The straight version

    And then when I was going to meet my first boyfriend- the gay one. ( I had obviously came out by then)

    But it got me thinking at that point. I had to tell her that I really did appreciate the concern and all, but just because I'm 21 doesn't mean I'm going to jump in the sack with any ol' Tom, Dick, and Harry. (hehe, ohhh the jokes that could be made)

    Perhaps I'm looking at this the wrong way, but I really thought I came off as more impressionable about how I choose to handle myself in those situations.

    What about you guys? Ever was told that just because you're young not to sleep around because you're obviously going to do it no matter what.

    My momma so crazy, but I know she cares. icon_redface.gif
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    Oct 26, 2009 5:56 AM GMT
    Mine cried when she caught me sleeping with a girl - then when I came out she REALLY bawled. I think she wanted a priest (or maybe a Ken doll).











  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 26, 2009 7:22 AM GMT
    It sounds like your mother loves you and just wants you to be safe (HIV negative) and happy.
    And, you sound very smart and sensible.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Oct 26, 2009 10:31 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidIt sounds like your mother loves you and just wants you to be safe (HIV negative) and happy.
    And, you sound very smart and sensible.


    What he said.
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    Oct 26, 2009 11:30 AM GMT
    Your mom sounds a lot like mine. It's possible that she's been hearing or seeing news stories about how the kids are all "hooking up" and not having relationships, etc. perhaps this worries her and she wanted to check in with you. As the posters above said, it seems like you and she have a nice relationship.
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    Oct 26, 2009 1:53 PM GMT
    My mom's biggest issue when I finally started dating guys was this odd double standard that she had. At this time we were all still living with my mother. I was around 19 years old and my older brother was about 22. My brother was at the time a complete womanizer. He had always been, but had taken a break to settle down with a woman he had fallen for for a little over two years. She got pregnant, snuck and had an abortion and their relationship was never the same.

    So it was very common for my brother to literally have a different girl staying over every night. He'd have so much loud, disrespectful sex in the house, that my little brother, who's room was next to my brother, would get fed up and sleep downstairs on the front room couch.

    So when I finally did start meeting up with guys, my mom kind of demonized it. Said she didn't want them staying the night, and all kinds of stuff because they could be psychos and butcher up the whole family. In which I said, well couldn't the chicks that my Bro bring home also? She shrugged and said she highly doubted that a 20 something year woman would come in the house and kill every one. In which I asked what made her think that a 20 something year old guy would?

    I told her she was being biased and that I would appreciate it if she was just honest and admitted it the fact that I was gay and it bothered her. But she wouldn't. So I'd just go and spend the night at other people places. Every now and then I'd sneak and have someone come over. I stayed in the basement apartment and she always locked the indoor entrance to it anyway.

    But even then I guessed she just assumed that I wasn't having sex at all. When i went to go get tested one day, she barrated me with a million questions. "I don't understand why would you need to go get tested." My brother laughed and said, "mom why do you think?" She said oh and we never spoke about it again. So odd because I come from a very sexually open family. My mom herself is very open about her sex life and sometimes she'll call me just to talk about things because she's lost so many of her friends over the years, but my sex life is non existent to them. Its just a level of censureship they craved the day I came out.

    So I was the exact opposite. Because of the way I was and because people considered me to be so different from my brother, everyone expected me to be this prudish monk. And when people would find out about my many sexual adventures they'd just act differently towards me like they didn't respect me or something. I had a falling out with a best friend/roommate when I moved out of my mom's place because I was having sex with BF's that I was dating. Thats my story though. I get vilified for the incredibly mundane things that everyone else does. Even now at age 21, I drink a little. I've never been drunk though, but one day my family made the biggest deal out of it and my mom said, "but you dont' drink." lol.

    ok I think I'll stop now. I've typed way too much.
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    Oct 26, 2009 2:18 PM GMT
    Your mother is wise beyond 'your' years...icon_cool.gif
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    Oct 26, 2009 2:21 PM GMT
    mama dukes is just trying to look out for you. it's what parents do. my parents told me the same thing from the time I was 20-25. I think they finally got the picture that I am not some type of idiot and I can make wise decisions on my own.

    she clearly just loves you. you should just listen and respect the things she says!
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    Oct 26, 2009 2:28 PM GMT
    Mom to Brandon: "Have you ever been paid for sex?"
    Brandon: "Um... Yes.."
    Mom: "How much?"
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    Oct 26, 2009 2:35 PM GMT


    Mom to Doug, "Just remember that when a man says he loves you also loves ketchup."

    "If you can use his toothbrush, you're in love with him."

    "Don't pressure your partner for sex. You'll kill the golden goose. For god's sake, be the yellow pages and let your fingers do the walking (aka masturbate - even funnier, Dad worked for the phone co !)


    -Doug
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Oct 26, 2009 2:39 PM GMT
    brandohsaurus saidMom to Brandon: "Have you ever been paid for sex?"
    Brandon: "Um... Yes.."
    Mom: "How much?"


    Awesomeicon_cool.gif
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Oct 26, 2009 2:40 PM GMT
    Better than my dad tying to marry me off to every girl that walks in the house, he suspects that I'm gay so he forces straight and girls down my throat icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Oct 26, 2009 2:49 PM GMT
    Don't consider it a foregone conclusion that all twenty-somethings sleep around.

    smiley_coffee.gif
    Pianist
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    Oct 26, 2009 3:30 PM GMT
    Lord, when I was 18 I did anything and everything I could to piss my mom off in this regard. I remember moving into my dorm and casually noticing, "oh look mom, there are my condoms and lube." Wink wink.

    So, my mom probably thinks I'm a slut and has also given me the same talking to before. I'm pretty sure she's just scared I'll catch HIV, which is likely a similar fear of your mother's, but it shows they loved you and just want you to be healthy and safe. Awwwww.
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    Oct 26, 2009 3:43 PM GMT
    My mom thinks I'm a real puss n boots. I hate it! Thats not at all. I will admit that in the context of a committed relationship I can be a very very naughty nymphomaniac because I have a very high sex drive that I repress almost 98% of the time. I mean one day I was going to see my BF and we were just going to get lunch, go for a drive, and maybe hit up the island for a bit and she calls me from her work like.... WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I DONT KNOW ANYMORE? YOU'RE SUCH A SKANK! And I'm here like WTF, MATE?! Needless to say I felt like doing jack shit after that and my bf could tell this so all we did was make lunch at his house and watch movies... went for a drive & starbucks later. You know what I think is the hottest thing in the world that doesn't turn me on like in a oh lets bang kind of way? Its me lying in bed in my bball shorts, no shirt curled up next to my bf resting my head on his chest. I love it. I love being held and nothing else going on... no kissing, no groping, just that. Im in heaven with that but apparently I;m a skank. .... FML!
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    Oct 26, 2009 4:45 PM GMT
    basically it's just hard for parents to give up control over their kids.
    love and concern is mixed in that bag somewhere, but it's most of the time a control thing.

    the closest my mom ever got discussing sex was :' oh, you must have "thoughts" ! ' ... that was , i dunno, centuries ago.
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    Oct 26, 2009 5:02 PM GMT
    Space_Cowboy_89 saidBetter than my dad tying to marry me off to every girl that walks in the house, he suspects that I'm gay so he forces straight and girls down my throat icon_rolleyes.gif


    should he be forcing you down their throats?
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    Oct 26, 2009 5:08 PM GMT
    TheIStrat's Mom: I want you to wait until you get married to have sex

    TheIStrat: But ma, I'm gay, they won't let me get married.

    TheIStrat's mom: Oh. Well....I don't really have an answer for that.
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Oct 26, 2009 5:15 PM GMT
    TheIStrat saidTheIStrat's Mom: I want you to wait until you get married to have sex

    TheIStrat: But ma, I'm gay, they won't let me get married.

    TheIStrat's mom: Oh. Well....I don't really have an answer for that.



    Ha.
    xD

    I have an answer!

    D:
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    Oct 26, 2009 5:18 PM GMT
    She's just looking after you. My mom never gave me a speech but she'll always tell me to be careful about who I meet. When I came home one day, I noticed she was reading up alot more on HIV and other std's and would somehow would make HIV in the gay community a topic to discuss or she would make an aside. She's not in my face about it but she's definately aware.
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    Oct 26, 2009 5:28 PM GMT
    LOL, why does your concerned mom think you are a slut???
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    Oct 26, 2009 5:38 PM GMT
    hector2009 saidLOL, why does your concerned mom think you are a slut???


    Haha!

    My mom's reasoning was not that she thought I was a slut...she wrote me a letter during Freshman year of college. When I e-mailed her back and asked her if she DID think I was a slut, she replied with:

    "well, not really, dear...I just think I would like to be better safe than sorry and warn you. I don't care what you stick your dick in, just cover it up, please."
    ~Mom

    Gotta love that candidness when Italian mothers choose to open their mouths.
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    Oct 26, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    My parents assume I'm asexual. They're almost right.
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    Oct 26, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    hector2009 saidLOL, why does your concerned mom think you are a slut???
    LOL

    That's my thought exactly! I don't do anything to suggest that I sleep with a lot of guyg in a short period of time. I can see the reason, though. I think it's because she wants to prepare for the worst (I guess in her mind that is the worst thing ever) so she warns me not to do something. I respect what my mother says, so I just joke with her about it.

    she so crazy icon_redface.gif