How to get guys' attention in gay bars?

  • johnny9027

    Posts: 90

    Oct 26, 2009 6:24 AM GMT
    I've just past the age that i can go to bars...Actually I've been to gay bars before, but i always go with my friends and dance with friends...this week i decide to go to bar by myself and try to meet some new cute guys..lol...so i was kinda worry about if i will be alone in the bar all night.... i don't have very muscular body and super cute face, but i'm kinda talktive and sociable, and i can dance well on the dance floor...i still have no much confidence that if i can hook ppl up in this adventure...hahaicon_smile.gif...anybody who have expertise in getting ppl's interest on them please share some experience or skills for me...thanks!!!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 26, 2009 6:38 AM GMT
    Smile and say hi, as if you were just being friendly.
    Then, see what his reaction is.
    If he doesn't even smile, move on.
    If he's friendly, strike up a conversation.
    Then, see what his reaction is.
    If he just acts like a friend, then you've made a new friend.
    If he acts like he's really interested in you in a romantic or sexual way, then see where that leads you.
    The most important thing is to have fun.
  • johnny9027

    Posts: 90

    Oct 26, 2009 6:39 AM GMT
    thanks...that's so helpful...
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    Oct 26, 2009 3:55 PM GMT
    johnny9027 saidI've just past the age that i can go to bars...Actually I've been to gay bars before, but i always go with my friends and dance with friends...this week i decide to go to bar by myself and try to meet some new cute guys..lol...so i was kinda worry about if i will be alone in the bar all night.... i don't have very muscular body and super cute face, but i'm kinda talktive and sociable, and i can dance well on the dance floor...i still have no much confidence that if i can hook ppl up in this adventure...hahaicon_smile.gif...anybody who have expertise in getting ppl's interest on them please share some experience or skills for me...thanks!!!



    GET SOLD ON YOURSELF! GET SOLD ON YOUR PRODUCT AND BRAND! then my friend... you will be able to sell yourself to someone else. Attracting someone else is like marketing... having worked in retail and put that in to practice with what I learned from "My Guy: A Gay Man's Guide to a Lasting Relationship" yeah.... fuck yea! My life is getting much better and not only am I meeting new people friend or maybe more but also my guy that is apparently dealing with commitment issues is beginning to realize that if he doesn't make his mind up and take care of me better and commit to me... someone else will and he will never have what I gave/give him.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 26, 2009 3:57 PM GMT
    The bar I usually go to always has muchies or candy on the bar. Chuck a peanut at his head and when he looks at you, wave.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Oct 26, 2009 4:03 PM GMT
    Really I doubt you'll have any trouble. Just being alone will invite people to talk to you, as long as you're not sitting in a corner somewhere or something. Just be friendly, throw a few smiles around, be social. Also, try dressing up a bit so you stand out (no hollister or abercrombie, tempting as they may be). I haven't been out in years but when I went I would wear a dress shirt, and people would constantly ask where I was coming from that I was dressed up. It's a good conversation starter.

    While I don't necessarily think hook-ups are the way to go, I wish you the best of luck.

    Also, Timberoo's advice is great if the guy you're aiming for isn't a douchebag... and if you hit the right guy.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Oct 26, 2009 4:06 PM GMT
    Take your shirt off and smile.
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Oct 26, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    I generally cop a feel and blame it on my italian nature.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Oct 26, 2009 4:50 PM GMT
    JP85257 saidI generally cop a feel and blame it on my italian nature.


    Eek....I hope this isn't true, lol. Don't follow this advice!


    I get really turned off by someone handling me that I don't know. My friends and I had a discussion on this since it happens so often to all of us. Most of us agree it's a real turnoff and we just feel the other guy is so desperate that this is the only way they will get action.

    One friend though seems to love it, and love any attention....it would work on him.

    I get a lot of guys trying to pinch my nipple and really.....after the first thousand times.....it gets really irritating. If you want to treat me like an object you've just done it. If you want to treat someone as a person try to establish a conversation with "Hi" or "hey". Obviously this is just my opinion....maybe twisting someone's nipple actually works on a few guys.
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    Oct 26, 2009 6:26 PM GMT
    Stand somewhere in plain view and feel genuinely confident. People can smell it.
  • johnny9027

    Posts: 90

    Oct 26, 2009 6:40 PM GMT
    mcwclewis saidReally I doubt you'll have any trouble. Just being alone will invite people to talk to you, as long as you're not sitting in a corner somewhere or something. Just be friendly, throw a few smiles around, be social. Also, try dressing up a bit so you stand out (no hollister or abercrombie, tempting as they may be). I haven't been out in years but when I went I would wear a dress shirt, and people would constantly ask where I was coming from that I was dressed up. It's a good conversation starter.

    While I don't necessarily think hook-ups are the way to go, I wish you the best of luck.

    Also, Timberoo's advice is great if the guy you're aiming for isn't a douchebag... and if you hit the right guy.



    oh...dressed up is a little difficult in canada now...it's pretty cold and i have to wear really baggy jacket...but anyways a pretty shirt really works
  • johnny9027

    Posts: 90

    Oct 26, 2009 6:42 PM GMT
    Celticmusl said
    JP85257 saidI generally cop a feel and blame it on my italian nature.


    Eek....I hope this isn't true, lol. Don't follow this advice!


    I get really turned off by someone handling me that I don't know. My friends and I had a discussion on this since it happens so often to all of us. Most of us agree it's a real turnoff and we just feel the other guy is so desperate that this is the only way they will get action.

    One friend though seems to love it, and love any attention....it would work on him.

    I get a lot of guys trying to pinch my nipple and really.....after the first thousand times.....it gets really irritating. If you want to treat me like an object you've just done it. If you want to treat someone as a person try to establish a conversation with "Hi" or "hey". Obviously this is just my opinion....maybe twisting someone's nipple actually works on a few guys.


    pinching nipples? gosh,that's hot and i kinda like it....but actually "hi" doesn't work for me...
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    Oct 26, 2009 6:44 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidSmile and say hi, as if you were just being friendly.
    Then, see what his reaction is.
    If he doesn't even smile, move on.
    If he's friendly, strike up a conversation.
    Then, see what his reaction is.
    If he just acts like a friend, then you've made a new friend.
    If he acts like he's really interested in you in a romantic or sexual way, then see where that leads you.
    The most important thing is to have fun.


    Wow, an advice based on common sense! Really good job, i like it. icon_wink.gif

    Of course, i would've personally just screamed
    HHEEEEEEEYYYY!!!!!!
    But that doesn't quite work out right, hahaha!
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Oct 26, 2009 8:11 PM GMT
    I dont pinch the nipples unless I know the person. I dont know it they are a violent offender or not.

    I usually just give a firm, open palm smack on the behind.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Oct 26, 2009 8:20 PM GMT
    JP85257 saidI dont pinch the nipples unless I know the person. I dont know it they are a violent offender or not.

    I usually just give a firm, open palm smack on the behind.



    Ok well that's not bad....I was thinking of other places, lol.
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    Oct 26, 2009 8:26 PM GMT
    Someone jammed their hand down the back of my jeans in a club once...

    and I I spun around, the randomer ran away and all I saw behind me was my friend who I punched harder than I intended in the stomach (a lot harder) and left him winded and curled up on the floor, and the bouncer came over and thought he was having a epileptic fit or something...and he had no Idea why i had just punched him icon_neutral.gif
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    Oct 26, 2009 8:37 PM GMT
    Dance good
  • iCute23

    Posts: 76

    Oct 26, 2009 8:38 PM GMT
    Well not doing much somehow helped me. It was my first time there. While there, I was offered a drink but refused. Then while chatting with one guy he randomly kissed me without my permission, ugh! icon_neutral.gif

    There was this one guy that definitely caught my eye. I whispered a few words to his buddy since I did not want to go directly up to him. I got the undivided attention I wanted...

    I left ending up with 3 numbers that night and one very hot private kiss session (with the guy I was too shy to go up to). I enjoyed my birthday. icon_biggrin.gif



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 26, 2009 8:40 PM GMT
    mcwclewis saidReally I doubt you'll have any trouble. Just being alone will invite people to talk to you, as long as you're not sitting in a corner somewhere or something. Just be friendly, throw a few smiles around, be social. Also, try dressing up a bit so you stand out (no hollister or abercrombie, tempting as they may be). I haven't been out in years but when I went I would wear a dress shirt, and people would constantly ask where I was coming from that I was dressed up. It's a good conversation starter.

    While I don't necessarily think hook-ups are the way to go, I wish you the best of luck.

    Also, Timberoo's advice is great if the guy you're aiming for isn't a douchebag... and if you hit the right guy.


    I like this response! Also its important to be confident
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    Oct 26, 2009 9:02 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo7 saidStand somewhere in plain view and feel genuinely confident. People can smell it.


    That never works.. At least not the places i've gone. I gernally see it work if it's a guy that's very talkative and talking to everyone. I tried it once and got mixed responses. One person said i was out trying to cheat on my bf, don't know where that came from. Another one said, after a drink or 2, that he probably doesn't have chance because i look like one of those cocky guys and then proceeds to walk away. Again don't know where that came from either because im the total opposite.

    I find it easier when ur with at least one friend. They can see how u are naturally cause we all know someone is always watching. Usually when the friend leaves to goto the "bathroom" they make their move or u actually notice all the eye contact they're making
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    Oct 26, 2009 11:52 PM GMT
    I didn't think anyone went to gay bars anymore; the last ten years it's been growing popularity of chat rooms, etc., that way you can see exactly what you're getting, say whatever you want, get to know the good stuff before you've wasted hours and money at a place where, generally, the kinds of guys you probably like are not going to be at gay bars.

    They're just not at the bars. Nor are they coming out either. Online chat rooms are the new closets, and you can get some great pictures and maybe some halfway decent chat, but you'll never find anyone who's going to be around to see in the new year with (but the bars are the same way). It seems like no matter what city you go to when you start talking to the locals they're all complaining that they're tired of seeing the same guys all the time and nobody new ever shows up...

    So if you really like bars, that might be your thing, but if you're really trying to meet guys, you might be wasting a lot of time...
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Oct 26, 2009 11:58 PM GMT
    Have broad shoulders. Mine work for me.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Oct 27, 2009 12:31 AM GMT
    Just get on the dance floor and do your thing, no partner needed..Most of the time someone will join you[ at least in the clubs i attend]..
    Dont get so caught up in meeting someone just chill.....
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    Oct 27, 2009 12:37 AM GMT
    Nyflava said
    Ciarsolo7 saidStand somewhere in plain view and feel genuinely confident. People can smell it.


    That never works.. At least not the places i've gone. I gernally see it work if it's a guy that's very talkative and talking to everyone. I tried it once and got mixed responses. One person said i was out trying to cheat on my bf, don't know where that came from. Another one said, after a drink or 2, that he probably doesn't have chance because i look like one of those cocky guys and then proceeds to walk away. Again don't know where that came from either because im the total opposite.

    I find it easier when ur with at least one friend. They can see how u are naturally cause we all know someone is always watching. Usually when the friend leaves to goto the "bathroom" they make their move or u actually notice all the eye contact they're making


    I wouldn't have said it if it hadn't personally worked.
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    Oct 27, 2009 12:42 AM GMT
    MsclDrew saidSomeone jammed their hand down the back of my jeans in a club once...

    and I I spun around, the randomer ran away and all I saw behind me was my friend who I punched harder than I intended in the stomach (a lot harder) and left him winded and curled up on the floor, and the bouncer came over and thought he was having a epileptic fit or something...and he had no Idea why i had just punched him icon_neutral.gif


    Me o my, talk about anger issues, with all the unwanted attension I have received in my life, I have never resorted to violence.