Relationship advice

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 26, 2009 11:08 PM GMT
    I've been with the same guy for over 6 years in a monogomous relationship. Over the past year I feel like I'm no longer attracted to him. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart. It just he's more focus on eating nutritionally deficient foods (cheeseburger, potato chips, candy bars) than going to the gym. He now out weighs me by about 100 lbs and seems complete content on staying that way. We use to go running, cycling, and hiking together. I'm just at a total loss of what I should do. I'm not sure if the problem is me or him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2009 5:22 AM GMT
    Tell him that changes in the relationship have affected you. Tell him you miss sharing exercise with him.

    There are ways to address the weight delicately.

    If he is unwilling to make the lifestyle changes you need to be happy, then it is time to reevaluate the future of your relationship.

    I would also warn against placing blame though ("... the problem is me or him."). Only discuss with him what will make you both happy, and work towards a solution.
  • me35mtl

    Posts: 306

    Oct 27, 2009 5:27 AM GMT
    i agree with this guy
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Oct 27, 2009 5:36 AM GMT
    Tell him you care about him and the extra weight is not healthy. I know when I was miserable in a relationship I gained a lot of weight. I was in a relationship yet I eventually became incredibly lonely because I felt like my SO checked out of the relationship a long time ago. So maybe he sees some issues as well in the relationship. Maybe couples counseling would be a good idea. If you both love each other do your best to correct the issues. I wish you both well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2009 5:37 AM GMT
    I went through this situation myself. My partner was naturally muscular and didn't really have to train, while I was a hard gainer. As I started to get some muscle, he started to get fat. He told me that my muscles made me look "puffy" and that I was ruining my body. As he gained more and more weight, I became less sexually attracted to him. (BTW- weight is not an issue for me in terms of attraction - I've dated some sexy big guys) I think it was the growing apart that turned me off. Finally it didn't work out and we broke up. He is 5'9" and weighs 300 pounds and has all the health problems that go with it.
    I would take Ganymede0s' advice and start figuring it out immediately.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2009 10:22 AM GMT
    Ganymede0 saidTell him that changes in the relationship have affected you. Tell him you miss sharing exercise with him.

    There are ways to address the weight delicately.

    If he is unwilling to make the lifestyle changes you need to be happy, then it is time to reevaluate the future of your relationship.

    I would also warn against placing blame though ("... the problem is me or him."). Only discuss with him what will make you both happy, and work towards a solution.


    ditto! Agreed.