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Oct 27, 2009 6:54 AM GMT
Ok... first of all, please spare me the judgment. I know it's wrong, I know how that makes me look, but ignore that fact for a few minutes  We met a few days ago, had coffee for 20 mins and then we went to his place and had the best sex I've ever had. He's the kind of guy who can have anyone he wants and he sleeps with a different boy almost every day. So it's obvious that he's not about to get into e relationship or anything, not to talk about the fact that he's married with children. However, I really like him... he's smart, gorgeous, treats me like nobody before... he's the kind of guy I've always wanted. But if I see him again, there's a big chance that I will start falling in love with him... I'm not the kind who has one night stands, I'm not used to that way of life. So do you guys think I should continue seeing him... or just let it be the only one night stand I've had with the best guy I've met and move on?  |
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Oct 27, 2009 9:03 AM GMT
no
but my advice wont stop you.
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Oct 27, 2009 9:18 AM GMT
You are confusing love with sex. If you feel you cannot control your own emotions, and it sounds like you can't "there's a big chance you're falling in love", you should not continue to see him!
Treats you like nobody before?? He's just using you to get off. Sorry you have been treated so poorly in the past!! Find a guy you can fall in love with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Oct 27, 2009 9:42 AM GMT
MikemikeMike saidYou are confusing love with sex. If you feel you cannot control your own emotions, and it sounds like you can't "there's a big chance you're falling in love", you should not continue to see him!
Treats you like nobody before?? He's just using you to get off. Sorry you have been treated so poorly in the past!! Find a guy you can fall in love with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 well, of course he's using me to get off, I'm not retarded. I was planning on doing the same with him, but I didn't expect him to be such a great guy. That's the thing... I am not sure I want a guy I can fall in love with because I'm not even sure I want a relationship. I don't know what I want, I just know two things - I like him a lot and he's married  So either I keep seeing him for sex and nothing more or I stop. Yeah, I guess I know what's the right thing to do .... but it just feels wrong to say no to something that makes me feel so good. |
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Oct 27, 2009 2:14 PM GMT
If he sleeps with a different boy every day, then chances are it's not your decision. He's going to move on if he hasn't already.
Plus, if it makes you feel any better, he is probably great at first impressions and the hot fleeting encounter, but long term your needs aren't going to matter to a guy like that.
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Oct 27, 2009 2:26 PM GMT
I am going to assume he is still with his wife and that she doesn't know he is sleeping around.
He is cheating on his wife. Now, I wont judge you for sleeping with him. Because, if he doesn't sleep with you he will sleep with someone else. That is not your problem. However, what happens if you fall in love and convince him to leave his wife for you?
He is a cheater. And cheaters are ass holes. He will cheat on you.
If he leaves his wife for his fuck buddy, he will leave you for a new fuck buddy. In his life, you are just a minor player in a cast of thousands. If you feel like after 20 minutes of conversation and a fuck you might be in love, stay the fuck away. You are just going to get yourself more hurt than you will be when he stops returning your calls. Move on before it is too late.
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Oct 27, 2009 2:29 PM GMT
lilTanker saidno
but my advice wont stop you. You took the words right out of my mouth.  |
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Oct 27, 2009 2:36 PM GMT
I'm not going to say I haven't done the one night stand thing, because I have. I will say this though, if you want to see him again, go for it, if that's what he wants, but, maybe you should tell him when you do see him, or at least mention that you really aren't into just hooking up. See how he reacts, he might say, well, this is just sex for him, or who knows. I'm sure his story probably goes along the lines of having gotten married and had kids before realizing he was really into guys and that he couldn't possibly come out now. Not that I've had this kind of situation before, well not the great sex part anyway.  |
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Oct 27, 2009 2:36 PM GMT
Moral judgement aside, I have never seen such a case of poor judgement so blatantly displayed in the annals of RJ. (lol, I just said "annals"). Your age explains a lot, however. At the age of 19 I would fall in love pretty easily too. I guess it took a few years for me to realize first impressions can be incredibly inaccurate.
You already know the plusses and minuses of the situation. You already know the outcome. There is nothing more that will come of this contact except sex, if your lucky.
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Oct 27, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
I'm not sure I understand you. The guy is a great guy because he has a wife and children at home waiting for him while he fucks you and a different guy everyday? Since you went to his place, I imagine you had this great sex in the same house he shares with his wife and children.How is any of that great ? You don't know what you want ? Maybe you shouldn't think so much about yourself but try thinking about the pain you may be involved in causing his family or maybe that's not important to you. Just a thought, but how do you respect yourself ? On second thought, I don't want to know. If it wern't so sad for his wife and children it would be the perfect add for Ashleymadison.com.
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Oct 27, 2009 2:55 PM GMT
MunchingZombie saidI am going to assume he is still with his wife and that she doesn't know he is sleeping around.
He is cheating on his wife. Now, I wont judge you for sleeping with him. Because, if he doesn't sleep with you he will sleep with someone else. That is not your problem. However, what happens if you fall in love and convince him to leave his wife for you?
He is a cheater. And cheaters are ass holes. He will cheat on you.
If he leaves his wife for his fuck buddy, he will leave you for a new fuck buddy. In his life, you are just a minor player in a cast of thousands. If you feel like after 20 minutes of conversation and a fuck you might be in love, stay the fuck away. You are just going to get yourself more hurt than you will be when he stops returning your calls. Move on before it is too late.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I strongly urge you to listen to MunchingZombie, I think his advise is spot on, and I would add too, that a married man like this man you describe, who is routinely adding notches to his belt over the number of new guys he's fucked, shows signs of being very very insecure, and out to prove something to himself. Don't keep adding your name to his list because insecure people are dangerous and never satisfying in the long run, his insecurity that's pushing him to multiple partners will only hurt you in the long run. Stay away from him !!! (if you don't believe me that insecurities are the driving factor in guys like him, do some reading on the subject) |
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Oct 27, 2009 2:56 PM GMT
fulldelight saidI really like him... he's smart, gorgeous, treats me like nobody before... he's the kind of guy I've always wanted. But if I see him again, there's a big chance that I will start falling in love with him... I'm not the kind who has one night stands, I'm not used to that way of life. What makes you think you are the only boy of all the boys he sleeps with every day that doesn't have the SAME exact sentiments the first time they sleep with him? |
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Oct 27, 2009 3:12 PM GMT
Stop wasting your time! He's never going to be yours in any other way besides sexual. Nevermind the fact that he's married; he's sleeping with a different boy everyday which means, he's closeted, deceitful, and not as great of a guy as you've become delusional to think.
Work on your own self confidence and I suggest you go learn and value your own worth.
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Oct 27, 2009 3:17 PM GMT
Hey fulldelight, You falling for this person is exactly why 'He's the kind of guy who can have anyone he wants and he sleeps with a different boy almost every day.'
You're probably just one of many of those 'boys' that feel the same way as you about that guy. Now you know the secret of his success. It comes at your expense.
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Oct 27, 2009 3:24 PM GMT
Just 'cause he's your "type" doesn't make him right.
He'll move on before you do, simple as that.
Take it for what it was, fun and just sex, period!
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Oct 27, 2009 3:27 PM GMT
fulldelight saidHe's the kind of guy who can have anyone he wants and he sleeps with a different boy almost every day. Find a different friend with benefits. |
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Oct 27, 2009 3:28 PM GMT
The fact that he sleeps with a different boy every day, jeopordizes your own health. I would stay away from someone like that.
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Oct 27, 2009 3:29 PM GMT
Awww the OP is 19. Have we so soon forgotten how horny we were at 19?
But it's true though. You need to remove yourself from this situation
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Oct 27, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
Kid, you sure are taking a big risk for playing the game. Just be sure you can deal with the consequences, whatever they are. If not, I'd get out while ya still can.
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Oct 27, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
You're lucky he didn't give you the old "my wife/bf doesn't understand me" bs. At least you're not in doubt about the fact that this hookup has absolutely nowhere to go.
But when I was 19 sound advice didn't stop me from embarking on a totally doomed infatuation with months and months of pointless self-inflicted suffering. Some things you can only learn by experience.
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Oct 27, 2009 3:38 PM GMT
He's married with wife and kids. Why even think about continuing. It's wrong.
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Oct 27, 2009 3:55 PM GMT
OCN8 saidHe's married with wife and kids. Why even think about continuing. It's pointless. |
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Oct 27, 2009 4:10 PM GMT
I agree that the young age of the OP has a lot to do with his bad decisions. To the OP, your dream man most likely has found another boytoy so even if you wanna get together together again he may not.
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Oct 27, 2009 4:17 PM GMT
Trust the voice of experience young one... your traveling down a hard road that is rough to rebound from. No one wins... *no one*.
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Oct 27, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
realifedad saidMunchingZombie said
He is a cheater. And cheaters are ass holes. He will cheat on you.
If he leaves his wife for his fuck buddy, he will leave you for a new fuck buddy. In his life, you are just a minor player in a cast of thousands. If you feel like after 20 minutes of conversation and a fuck you might be in love, stay the fuck away. You are just going to get yourself more hurt than you will be when he stops returning your calls. Move on before it is too late.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I strongly urge you to listen to MunchingZombie, I think his advise is spot on, and I would add too, that a married man like this man you describe, who is routinely adding notches to his belt over the number of new guys he's fucked, shows signs of being very very insecure, and out to prove something to himself. Don't keep adding your name to his list because insecure people are dangerous and never satisfying in the long run, his insecurity that's pushing him to multiple partners will only hurt you in the long run. Stay away from him !!! (if you don't believe me that insecurities are the driving factor in guys like him, do some reading on the subject) These two sum up everything important you need to know...PAY ATTENTION !!! |
