Being a Hot Guy and Being Single

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2009 1:58 PM GMT
    I sense that there is an unspoken way of thinking that assumes that if you are hot (great body and face) that you are less likely to be single.

    Is this true?

    What about guys who are arguably less physically hot and single?

    Do people assume that being physicaly nice looking automatically makes it easier to meet and KEEP a LTR relationship?

    I always assumed that it takes two beautiful minds that ultimately keeps a relationship going, with or without good looks. Maybe I'm wrong and there really IS a pecking order of natural selection that inherently puts hot guys as somehow more able to click with that special someone.

    Do you think its true?
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    Oct 28, 2009 2:05 PM GMT
    there is a physical pecking order unfortunately.. however in many ways it's subconscious.. however as you say, it does take two people who have "beautiful minds" also for it to work.

    personally however I look for something other then them being physically hot, sure it's nice to look out but I get bored so easily that men with no substance bore me to tears.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:04 PM GMT
    You can't really see true hot.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:06 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo7 saidYou can't really see true hot.



    so you blindfold your boyz too, eh? Kinky
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:08 PM GMT
    Lostboy said
    Ciarsolo7 saidYou can't really see true hot.



    so you blindfold your boyz too, eh? Kinky


    Gotta keep it interesting icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:10 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo7 saidYou can't really see true hot.


    I actually agree... you have to EXPERIENCE IT.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:10 PM GMT
    I think it is easier to get into a relationship if you are physically attractive, but that does not mean that you are going to stay in it long.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:14 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo7 saidYou can't really see true hot.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I think you made a great point - simply put !!! I've known a lot of 'hot' looking guys who when you get to know them are as shallow as hell, and left their contacts feeling cold about them. I've known many more though who would be considered average looking but when you got to know them became very 'hot' indeed. I think 'hot' equals the total person, to me that's the true test of what 'hot' is. sometimes I feel sympathy for really great looking guys because a lot of them just cannot seem to get quality over quantity. Average looking guys seem to have more staying power in relationships from what I've seen.
  • Celticmusl

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    Oct 28, 2009 3:19 PM GMT
    Well there is also this DOUBLE EDGED SWORD thing going on where no one takes you as a serious contender for a relationship if your nicer looking. Guys just want that score so they can think "ive been with that guy". I know a few very nice looking guys that are perpetually single and this is their complaint. I've never dated them so I don't know if there are other issues involved, but I am starting to understand what they are talking about.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    Oct 28, 2009 3:21 PM GMT
    Meeting "The One" probably has a great deal more to do with the right chemistry, timing, and luck than it does physical appearance. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but true love is in the heart.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    No I think what the ideal is that "Hot" people can naturally have anyone they want. How many people would say no to a "Hot" person? Not manyicon_lol.gif
    The problem is we sometimes forget even "Hot" people have preferences that certainly aren't always met by those they meet. I've known far too many "Hot" people who would give their looks to be normal, cause not everyone likes attention.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:27 PM GMT
    realifedad said
    Ciarsolo7 saidYou can't really see true hot.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I think you made a great point - simply put !!! I've known a lot of 'hot' looking guys who when you get to know them are as shallow as hell, and left their contacts feeling cold about them. I've known many more though who would be considered average looking but when you got to know them became very 'hot' indeed. I think 'hot' equals the total person, to me that's the true test of what 'hot' is. sometimes I feel sympathy for really great looking guys because a lot of them just cannot seem to get quality over quantity. Average looking guys seem to have more staying power in relationships from what I've seen.


    I pity the physicaly hot guy who also happens to value quality over quantity and has a hot personality to complete the package. Maybe its easier for people to see the hot personality in an physically average guy. That's what I hear on these forums.
  • Celticmusl

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    Oct 28, 2009 3:28 PM GMT
    realifedad said
    Ciarsolo7 saidYou can't really see true hot.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I think you made a great point - simply put !!! I've known a lot of 'hot' looking guys who when you get to know them are as shallow as hell, and left their contacts feeling cold about them. I've known many more though who would be considered average looking but when you got to know them became very 'hot' indeed. I think 'hot' equals the total person, to me that's the true test of what 'hot' is. sometimes I feel sympathy for really great looking guys because a lot of them just cannot seem to get quality over quantity. Average looking guys seem to have more staying power in relationships from what I've seen.


    Thinking that an average looking guy is the salt of the earth, is a complete scam. Believe me, I've been involved with some average looking guys and for the most part they are the most narcissistic and boorish guys I have ever met. The average looks makes you put your guard down.....and then you find out they are psychotic.

    On the other hand, have a handsome looking guy have an off night and be in a bit of a mood, and it's "oh he thinks he's so special, blah blah blah".

    Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they're hollow, and just because someone is average doesn't mean they are a great guy.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:30 PM GMT
    When I was in high school, I remember having a crush on this very hot and popular girl. She had it all, she came from money, she had class, fantastic looks, popularity etc etc. Well I figured she was out of my league so I never asked her out. I wasnt a shy kid at all, I was a good looking self confident (within reason) and dated a lot in school. But I was afraid of rejection. (Side note- you want to feel rejection, start dating gay guys, they are ruthless lol)

    Fast forward to my 20 year class reunion. I see her and say Hi Holly hows it going. We start talking, I look great and so does she. Finally she says, "why didnt you ask me out in high school, I thought you were so cute" I replied I didnt think Id have a chance against all those jocks. She said "you made a huge mistake" and we both laughed.

    The point I am making is that as hot people don't always get asked out because they are unapproachable.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]KissingPro said
    I pity the physicaly hot guy who also happens to value quality over quantity and has a hot personality to complete the package. Maybe its easier for people to see the hot personality in an physically average guy. That's what I hear on these forums.[/quote]
    I think the problem here is Most people aren't even willing to get to know peopleicon_lol.gif and miss out. For we'd rather have a perfect partner when in fact we ourselves aren't perfecticon_razz.gif I've found most people are Fucking hypocritical.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:37 PM GMT
    Celticmusl said On the other hand, have a handsome looking guy have an off night and be in a bit of a mood, and it's "oh he thinks he's so special, blah blah blah". Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they're hollow, and just because someone is average doesn't mean they are a great guy.


    A very good looking guy may be less giving in a relationship. He doesn't have to be, because from experience he knows there are always others available.

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    Oct 28, 2009 3:47 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Celticmusl said

    Thinking that an average looking guy is the salt of the earth, is a complete scam. Believe me, I've been involved with some average looking guys and for the most part they are the most narcissistic and boorish guys I have ever met. The average looks makes you put your guard down.....and then you find out they are psychotic.

    On the other hand, have a handsome looking guy have an off night and be in a bit of a mood, and it's "oh he thinks he's so special, blah blah blah".

    Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they're hollow, and just because someone is average doesn't mean they are a great guy.[/quote]

    Well said.

    I guess people need to put nice neat little labels and definitions on other people in order to bring order logic and "justice"into their lives. Its sad
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:48 PM GMT
    Well take me for example, I consider myself average, but I've had some great relationships with really great looking 'hot' guys. Most of them seemed conflicted to me though, like their looks were problematic to them because they felt taken advantage of to some degree by their looks. They didn't often say it, but in moments of deep discussion they seemed to infer it. This past summer while visiting up in Vermont with my daughter, I went with her and her friends to a bar. Well we weren't there long and in walks two college guys who were very 'hot' we got to talking and the shorter of the two was really friendly with me, we traded numbers cause he wanted to "hang out" with me. My daughter came and joined us as did her friends and we all had a great time, I had to laugh when my daughter said to the group, "Dad always gets the 'hot' guys" LOL !!!! The guy called a few times the next day so we could get together but I was there to be with my daughter so declined. Damn !!! LOL !!! but you see "hot" sometimes likes average who don't go after them. It works for me !!!
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Oct 28, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    Oh yeah, and don't look younger than your age, because the guys that are your age or older get so pissed off with you that they start harassing you about it. I've been told that someone has proof that I have had plastic surgery....wtf? I get asked very loudly in front of others "where do you get your botox". I had one date with a guy that was 50 and I had to show him my license because he thought I was adding a few years onto my age.

    I didn't like a photo of myself taken at an event and someone I was on a date with states "oh, come on, quit fishing for compliments"....um....I honestly hated the pic. He was 46.....do you think I would have gotten that kind of insult from someone in their 20s or 30s?

    So now you not only have to worry about looking good, or not looking good, or looking average, but you have to look your age as well, or people will misjudge you and think you are trying to be something or someone that you are not. Aaaaaaaah!!!
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    Oct 28, 2009 3:56 PM GMT
    I see far too many good-looking people who have nothing more than looks, because they never felt they had to work on their personalities past that. And most extremely attractive people are horrible at making out. They feel they have nothing to prove, so they are kinda duds.

    Give me a medium-looking guy any time! They've got spunk!

    I LIKE SPUNK. icon_wink.gif
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Oct 28, 2009 4:15 PM GMT
    My mom always said "The wrapping might be pretty, but the present can still suck."

    She is correct.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2009 4:19 PM GMT
    Celticmusl saidOh yeah, and don't look younger than your age, because the guys that are your age or older get so pissed off with you that they start harassing you about it. I've been told that someone has proof that I have had plastic surgery....wtf? I get asked very loudly in front of others "where do you get your botox". I had one date with a guy that was 50 and I had to show him my license because he thought I was adding a few years onto my age.

    I didn't like a photo of myself taken at an event and someone I was on a date with states "oh, come on, quit fishing for compliments"....um....I honestly hated the pic. He was 46.....do you think I would have gotten that kind of insult from someone in their 20s or 30s?

    So now you not only have to worry about looking good, or not looking good, or looking average, but you have to look your age as well, or people will misjudge you and think you are trying to be something or someone that you are not. Aaaaaaaah!!!


    I think you and some to the guys here need to do some weekend reading,
    Albert Einstein book on Relativity give you a whole new perspective.

    Don't let anyone tell you or lie to you.... you look your age! Cute and
    young. Aaahhh don't worry you'll catch up to the old geezers just wait.
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    Oct 28, 2009 4:22 PM GMT
    I think for guys with attractive bodies and faces that it's perhaps easier to open the door to a relationship, but the substance beneath the surface is what ultimately tells the story.

    Right now I would consider myself average at best. Certainly not hot, and not as physically attractive as I was a few years ago. But I also am now a much happier, more content person with a much better outlook on life. I'll confess that I obssessed about the outside and neglected the inside which made anything meaningful nearly impossible. It took a painful injury to make me re-evaluate things. That being said, I believe that now a sustainable, meaningful relationship would be easier for me because I am open completely where I was not before.

    My last relationship was with a very hot guy who hates the fact that nobody really wants to get to know him. (He has severe issues he is working through) They just view him as eye candy. He is not the hookup type at all, and feels his looks are more of a detriment than a help.

    What good is style if you have no substance?

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    Oct 28, 2009 4:23 PM GMT
    everyone seems ruined. what a stupid thing to think about, really.
    anyone who is barely paying attention would notice that almost everyone finds love at some point.
    people may fuck you for your skin and bones, but they certainly don't love you for it.

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    Oct 28, 2009 4:24 PM GMT
    I think in reality "hot" people think they CAN get lots of play/attention...with other, equally "hot" people.

    Truth is, regular people and whomever else likely have far more and far more enjoyable sex than "hot" people.

    I'm not suggesting "hot" = picky. I am suggesting that certain people attach themselves to certain standards based on more than "hot"...and learning how to work within, without and around those often indicates one's level of sex. A truly attractive person might have low self-esteem and have no sex, while a less attractive person full of vanity, good presentation and confidence gets more dick n ass than a ship full of horny sailors.