My Partner's Condition NOT Worsening in the Hospital! (Amended)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2009 11:10 PM GMT
    This is an update from my earlier thread, "Very bad day for hubby & me" of Oct 25:

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/692518/

    He was in the OR for 3 hours today (Wed), with the doctors determining that the arteries in his right leg are so badly blocked that he cannot have surgery at this time. He how has a catheter in his leg to deliver blood thinner to the area directly.

    That will continue for 24 hours in the intensive care unit (ICU), at which time he'll be re-evalutated. If the blockage has cleared sufficiently they will attempt corrective surgery. If the blockage remains they'll resume the blood thinner for another 24 hours.

    If the blockage still has not cleared they will amputate the leg. The risk from clots breaking loose, and the inevitable gangrene, gives them no option. His basic problem is advanced arteriosclerosis, aka hardening of the arteries, that have narrowed his arteries and allowed loose plaque and blood clots to clog them in the leg.

    Right now he's still in surgical recovery at 7 PM, hopefully moving to the ICU within the hour. Not sure I'll be allowed to see him tonight because of his medical condition. If not, then more likely tomorrow before his next OR session.

    I'm almost shaking with tension. This aggressive blood thinning procedure runs a serious risk of hemorrhage in the brain and other vital organs. Equally dangerous are the life-threatening effects of brain clots breaking loose. And needless to say the loss of his leg would devastate him. But the doctor has told me that's the most likely scenario, the chances of their saving the leg not looking good.
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    Oct 28, 2009 11:13 PM GMT
    Neglected to mention, I'm still in the surgery waiting room, using the notebook computer with a hospital Wi-Fi Internet connection. I have to do something to occupy my mind, between cell calls to his many friends and relatives.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Oct 28, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa,

    I'm sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine what you're going through. I pray that he pulls through, amputated leg or not. Just to have him alive is all that really matters.
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    Oct 28, 2009 11:24 PM GMT
    oh wow, that is just terrible. Both of you must be pretty much beside yourselves. I wish I was there to hug away the tension.

    Don't give up hope!

    Don't forget to take care of yourself as well!
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    Oct 28, 2009 11:25 PM GMT
    funny pictures
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:08 AM GMT
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I have a good idea what your going through. A few months back my boyfriend got hurt at the construction sight he was working on. When I got the call my heart just stopped. Today he's fine. We will pray your guy will come through this too.
    Ken & Kevin
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:14 AM GMT
    I'm soooooo sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are going in your direction. I'm hoping for the best.

    --Mike
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:15 AM GMT
    I'm so sorry that you and your husband are having to deal with what must feel like a continuing nightmare. Even though some of the possible outcomes are troubling to consider, please try to remember that right now, there is still a reasonable chance of a positive outcome. My sister developed a massive blood clot a few years ago after the birth of her daughter. It travelled to her lung and the doctors at Mass General gave her a 10% chance of surviving as they feared it would go to her brain. After three weeks in the ICU she was home and 100% fine. I know every case is different, but it certainly sounds like your husband is in very good hands. If you have any doubts about what his doctors are recommending, I hope you would feel at liberty to get a second opinion.

    I can only imagine your anxiety and frustration at not being able to directly make things better for your husband. It sounds like you have a large circle of friends around you in Florida. And you certainly have many, many people pulling for you on RJ. But, if you think it would help, I would urge you to ask one of your husband's doctors or nurses or unit co-ordinator if they could arrange for you to talk to a social worker or counselor. You've been through a great deal in the past few days. Please look after yourself.

    All the best

    David
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:16 AM GMT
    Hope for the best Vespa, it sounds like they know what they are doing.
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:26 AM GMT
    My thoughts are with you and your Partner. I hope everything turns out ok - hang in there.
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:27 AM GMT
    My thoughts are with you. If your husband can have any comfort now, it is knowing that he has such a dedicated, caring, and loving man in his life.
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:28 AM GMT
    I'm just very sorry to hear this, RV. Hang in there - the RJ family holds you both in our thoughts.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Oct 29, 2009 12:31 AM GMT
    hey red

    my thoughts and prayers go out to you and hubby tonight..i know this seems bleak right now but the doctors know what they are doing and he is in best possible place....just keep positive thoughts and please please take care of your self as well...he will need all the strength you have to muster up as he recovers from the surgeries they need to perform
    hugs from cleveland
    dave
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:36 AM GMT
    I have been through this before with a parent. All I could think the entire time was what the hell am I going to do if he doesn't make it; I never had a boyfriend, I never found love. My parents have been the only constant forces in my life that ever meant anything to me and have been there for me no matter what. The manic thinking I have sometimes is 'if they go I go'...I don't know how I could live without either of them.

    Then the day of the quadruple bypass came. I had that lump in my throat the whole time. I didn't want to talk to anyone in the waiting room. They had their kids and their spouses with them - who the hell were they to understand what this was like for me - alone - with nobody - I didn't want to hear any comforting words. I just wanted to know that my dad was going to be okay. 33 and I might as well have been 8. It never changes.

    So through that after hearing he was fine, and that the doctor told me that especially today there are SO many of these done daily and the technology has changed so much - from what you are describing - don't think that the 'worst case scenario' is actually the worst case scenario. Things change all the time. Often when they are in surgery they discover ways of saving something or discover that they didn't consider other options that include saving the limb. If this is not the case, believe me, you WILL appreciate that he made it and hopefully that will make you guys even stronger together. Remember that lives are always adjustable, we adapt however we need to and that's always going to happen whether we are in accidents or whether we are getting older or anything. People, once they are gone, they are NOT replaceable. Thank God your husband will be okay. You have to be strong for yourself and for him right now. I know the thoughts going through your mind because I've been there too with the 'what ifs' that would keep me up all night. One year from now I think that life will be just fine for both of you - it might not be the same, things might take some adjusting to, but trust me - you HAVE to get out of your head for a while. When I was dealing with my dad I would get up at 5am and work out every day. Because LIFE GOES ON - had I stopped doing that, it would have sent a message to me that something is very wrong and only negative outcomes will be in my future. I had to KEEP GOING for my own sanity and for my dad because when I would see him, there were times I couldn't believe that this man who I always felt could take anything bad in my life and make it go away; now I had to be the strong one and I didn't know how. But by keeping my life going, I didn't feel like I was going to break down and cry every two minutes.

    You WILL be okay. Keep posting on here to let us know how you're doing. Most of us have been there before whether it's a parent or a partner or a friend or loved one. I will keep both you guys in my thoughts too. This will pass!
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:39 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear that.icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 29, 2009 12:39 AM GMT
    So sorry to hear this. Sending good thoughts your way.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Oct 29, 2009 12:42 AM GMT
    My heart goes out to you and your partner, Vespa. Sending positive thoughts your way.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 29, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    Bob,
    Very sorry to hear about your partner's condition. Will keep him in my thoughts & prayers.... I hope you have family and friends to lean on.. please keep us informed....

    Chris
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Oct 29, 2009 12:47 AM GMT
    RV:
    I hope that things turn out well for you and your partner.

    Rick
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Oct 29, 2009 12:50 AM GMT
    So sorry to hear about what your partner and you are dealing with. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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    Oct 29, 2009 1:00 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear that Red, we wish you and your partner well.
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    Oct 29, 2009 1:15 AM GMT
    Thanks for all your kind words (and a lolcat), both in this thread and in private emails. I saw him in Recovery, rode up with him on the elevator, and just a moment ago left his bedside in the restricted area.

    Now I'm in a waiting room outside that area, while 2 friends drive up from Wilton Manors to take me and our car back home. I'm too exhausted, and too distracted right now, to safely drive at night.

    He's actually in a CCU, critical care unit, not the ICU I was led to believe. At least his pain is temporarily a little better than he had in the Recovery Room, which was heartbreaking. He's fairly alert, all things considered, though for once I wish he was more out of it, to spare him this misery.

    And now time to meet my friends down in the main lobby.
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    Oct 29, 2009 1:20 AM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear about all this that has happened. Hang in there, and give your partner all the support you can muster!
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    Oct 29, 2009 1:36 AM GMT
    Hi Bob,

    Best wishes for a good outcome for your partner. Lots of guys here are keeping you both in their thoughts. Let's hope those blood thinners can work their magic and get the job done. Thanks for keeping us up to date so we can all keep sending you our best wishes.

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    Oct 29, 2009 2:17 AM GMT
    I'm so extremely sorry, Red. I wish you all the best luck in the world.


    James