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So I've only just come out a few months ago and haven't had a relationship or done anything with a man yet.

I met a dude who is a grade above me in a frat (a co-ed non-residential fraternity) I joined. He chose to be my "big" (mentor kinda) and I was really glad because he is very hot. We both found out each other was gay. Anyways, the way it works is the next 3-4 years we are going to be together several times a week because we are in the same group and he is my big.

Since this (a couple months back when college started) we have been hanging out a lot outside of frat stuff. We go to parties together and dance together, we drink/smoke together, go to the gym together, we hang out in groups or just the two of us a lot. When we hang out he teases/insults me a lot but he isn't like that with ANYONE else, and even admits that. Sometimes there are silences and we just look at each other for a very long time and I don't know what it means...

He is the type that is attractive, confident, and knows it. He is seems to be kind of a whore, or at least makes it sound like it. He tells me who he has made out with or how many times he masturbates a day and is socially all over the place at parties and such.

I think I'm attractive too and have a good personality, but I'm much more shy and am not assertive enough to make a move... but he hasn't made a move on me and we are alone a lot so maybe he isn't interested?

Or could he not want to get into a relationship because of "dont shit where you eat", we are going to be together a lot for frat so if it went south that could end up bad...

I really want to be with this guy and I can't tell what he wants.

Any advice on what to do? I'm very hung up on him..

We get these questions often here. My first question to you is, if you guys were to hook up and things get messy (e.g. you fall for him, he doesn't feel the same and breaks your heart, and tension develops between the two of you), how will that affect your interaction in the frat? Can you change "bigs?" Can he, if he's spiteful, get you kicked out? I'd give serious thought to those ramifications.

If you still decide to go with what your little head thinks rather that your big head, then I think you'd likely get your way. From your description, he gets around (a sign that if you're expecting anything MORE than sex from this guy, that you should look elsewhere), and the two of share silences where you "just look at each other for a very long time" (that means he's into you -- straight men don't tend to do that).

If you're looking for your first real relationship, you're better off waiting for a bit. This is college, you're going to meet more gay men here, trust me. If you're just looking for sex, and you HONESTLY think the two of you can keep this from getting messy, than try kissing him the next time you two are alone. I'm sure you'll get what you want.

I'm gonna just start answering these:

"No. Next in line?"




I used to follow a vegetarian forum where this one guy kept a tally of everytime someone asked if vegetarians could eat animal crackers. I think it was up around 400 last time I was on there.

Sorry OP. You really wanna know? Ask the dude.

Wow, what a touching story. I'm really happy for you too!

You can feel it too, can't you? It's like an invisible string (okay lace, since this is a gay website lol) bringing you two closer together. I suspect your relationship will deepen. If he's gay, and your gay, and you both really really get along...I dunno, am I the only one who sees the progression?

I'm really happy for you two. My only advice would be to keep things steady and go with the flow, see where it takes you; at the very least you still have a great friend.

Beware of the ramifications of lust, and WAIT before you have sex
sounds like a fairy tale romance, dosn't it??
here's wishing you the best of luck!!!!

Ganymede0 said I used to follow a vegetarian forum where this one guy kept a tally of everytime someone asked if vegetarians could eat animal crackers. I think it was up around 400 last time I was on there.

You know, that's an interesting question. Can they?

although touching it sounds like he's taken you under his wing and is looking out for ya, enjoy having the company and advice of someone who is more experienced and confident then you.

Cause he sounds like if he'd wanted to make a move he would have.

jprichva said

Ganymede0 said I used to follow a vegetarian forum where this one guy kept a tally of everytime someone asked if vegetarians could eat animal crackers. I think it was up around 400 last time I was on there.

You know, that's an interesting question. Can they?

Jeff, CJ desperately needs your sage advice, stop putzing around !

Am I the only who finds the OP's story familiar? Sounds like the storyline on the show "Greek" between the two gay frat brothers.

Just sayin'.

Really Leo, is that how you were when a 'virgin'? "He's wary about getting involved with a virgin because we all know that they can turn "psycho" if it doesn't works out."

lilTanker saidalthough touching it sounds like he's taken you under his wing and is looking out for ya, enjoy having the company and advice of someone who is more experienced and confident then you.

Cause he sounds like if he'd wanted to make a move he would have.

Sadly, I realized this may be the truth. He really has taken me under his wing for everything...

I wouldn't be where I am without him and I should be really thankful for that but my crush is ruining everything and I'm not happy at all.

This has been tearing me up. Maybe I should accept our relationship is just close-ish friends on big/little terms.

If he is so experienced/confident/gets around he would surely make a move on me if he wanted to.

I feel so naive.