Jerks, Players, Scrubs, you name it...does he sound like one?

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    Oct 30, 2009 7:09 PM GMT
    Alright, so I met this NICE guy a few weeks back. He's sweet, chill, masculine, has his shit together, smart, pretty much the whole package. Needless to say, after a while I hit infatuation when he [supposedly] showed sincere interest in me. We went to his house for the first date and made pasta together, we joked around, I got nervous and did this ridiculously clumsy act (keep in mind I haven't been on a real date in about a year or so), he smiled and it was all good. The same thing the second date, we watched college football, made burgers at my place, etc. But then yesterday we went out to eat, after that I walked him home but he surprised me with a second part to the date: chilling at a remote area he knows about and we just sat and talked, looked at the stars, just chilled, until he kissed me. i told him I’m interested in him, and he just kissed me. What bothered me is this: he said how cute i was, he pretty much managed to get me in some vulnerable state for some reason, but at times he acts shady with me. He’s a huge flirt, so I don’t know if he’s being sincere and I’m the one being a jerk, or if he is toying with me, and I’m heading towards one HUGE disappointment. Other times he’s extremely sweet and makes me feel weird inside (as dumb as it sounds). So…is this a waste of my time? Or should I just man up and ask him out?
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    Oct 30, 2009 8:05 PM GMT
    Um... "ask him out?"

    It sounds like you've already had three dates, and he has kissed you.

    What's the problem?

    Just relax and see where things take you.
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    Oct 30, 2009 8:22 PM GMT
    Is this a joke? He waited for three dates just to kiss you. If he was a player, he'd have insisted on fucking you on the first or second date and you would have even gotten to the third date.
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    Oct 30, 2009 8:24 PM GMT
    I agree with, ThelStrat. He took you to a nice place just to kiss you. Most players and sluts would have done you during the football game, or tried to get in your pants.
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    Oct 30, 2009 9:00 PM GMT
    I guess. Maybe it's also that I haven't dated in a long while. Well...at least haven't had a good guy in a while. icon_rolleyes.gif sorry for the dumb question guys.
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    Oct 31, 2009 1:11 AM GMT
    Nah man, it wasn't a dumb question. I think that you are just skeptical of guys. There is a lot of bullshit out there, and you have every right to be skeptical of a guy. But this one seems to be the exception.
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    Oct 31, 2009 1:45 AM GMT
    STOP THINKING!!!!

    Just go with the flow on this one. Enjoy the time you spend with this guy, and see where it leads. If you want, ask him out on a proper date and see what happens. But don't push it. Noone likes a guy who becomes clingy after the first few encounters.
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Oct 31, 2009 5:38 AM GMT
    [quote]...but at times he acts shady with me.[/quote]

    It all seemed mostly okay until that part about being shady. Just how is he being shady with you? icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 31, 2009 6:32 AM GMT
    I agree with everyone else. If he turns out to be a jerk, then he turns out to be a jerk. He might not be though. He actually sounds like a pretty good deal to me...bonding is a process that many people skip altogether in favor of sex.
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    Oct 31, 2009 7:03 PM GMT
    bigguysf said[quote]...but at times he acts shady with me.


    It all seemed mostly okay until that part about being shady. Just how is he being shady with you? icon_eek.gif[/quote]


    the fact that he ditched me twice, has a bad "reputation", mentioned to me that he just broke up with a guy, when we were making out he was heading for the crotch (well..that's not so bad since we were making out), and once he avoided me. but then he's sweet. jekyl and hyde much?
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    Oct 31, 2009 7:05 PM GMT
    syd_hockey_79 saidSTOP THINKING!!!!

    Just go with the flow on this one. Enjoy the time you spend with this guy, and see where it leads. If you want, ask him out on a proper date and see what happens. But don't push it. Noone likes a guy who becomes clingy after the first few encounters.



    I think Balljunkie is right...I've been out since 14 and dating..so...that tended to make me a Ilittle jaded and skeptical. And we've been on more than three dates..i just mentioned the more significant ones. my faul for not mentioning the details
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Oct 31, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    Yeah, it sounds like he is shady. Date him but set your sites too high for this guy. If he is actually a good guy time will tell.
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    Oct 31, 2009 7:21 PM GMT
    What about your part in all of this?

    Don't you think he would appreciate if YOU took him to a special place to kiss and possibly do more?

    Why is the "burden of proof" all on his shoulders? Sounds like he is doing all the right things and yet you are suspicious.

    I've dated guys who were too busy evaluating and keeping score of how and what I've done with them, always looking for a reason to doubt.,,,,and all I was doing was doing things that came naturally and were fun for both of us. Its a big turnoff when someone is always a skeptic.

    Focus on the good things about him.

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    Nov 09, 2009 10:21 PM GMT
    update: he isnt that all into me. he is "just that nice" icon_confused.gif
  • boilerup_82

    Posts: 188

    Nov 09, 2009 10:28 PM GMT
    syd_hockey_79 saidBut don't push it. Noone likes a guy who becomes clingy after the first few encounters.


    AMEN TO THAT!
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    Nov 11, 2009 5:47 AM GMT
    inmate_6655321 saidhe is "just that nice" icon_confused.gif

    He kissed you because he is nice?
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    Nov 12, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    no apperantly this is what happened: he just got out of a relationship and wanted to mess around. im ok with that. but he should have been straight up with it instead of giving me the butterflies whenever i was with him icon_rolleyes.gif
    last time i'm getting involved with a high school kid