Say What?: The Golden Girls TV Show Will Make You Gay

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    Nov 03, 2009 2:13 PM GMT
    According to the dim bulbs in the sky fairy palace, the Golden Girls made Gen X'rs like me gay.

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    I've quoted most of the relevant text to avoid having to link to the ridiculous Christwire website, from where the article originates.

    The Golden Girls television program was never much to look at. A foursome of Florida geriatrics getting agitated about pharmacy bills and shoulder pads– who could ever find such a thing interesting? But somehow these perky and absurd women wormed their ways into America’s homes for an 8-year run in the 1980s. Maybe it was our desire to see our grandmothers having fun that encouraged us to watch. Maybe we wanted to believe old age wasn’t dominated by infections and hip problems, loneliness and crushing depression before death finally stomps us out like the acrid end of a damp cigarette.

    The most unexpected segment of this show’s fanbase was America’s young men. In the 80s, these were boys too delicate for sports, too awkward for girls, too “artistic” for labor-intensive work and too flamboyant for peer acceptance in high school. With no real adults in sight, these poor children became obsessed with the poorly conceived characters on this show. Desperate for a firm hand in their lives, they gravitated to the subversive undercurrent of masculinity in these aged matrons.

    Many studies have been done on why the gays love The Golden Girls, but science can’t fathom the moral challenges and social upheaval of those historic times. The 1980s was an epoch of President Reagan’s manly wisdom and the terrifying threat of Cold War annihilation. America had sobered up from the flashy lights of 1970s disco. We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers. Spiritual leaders like Jerry Falwell were telling us that Christianity was in the majority again. On the other side, there was a subculture of homosexuality creeping up on our youths. It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans and to sneak off to public parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities.

    THE GOLDEN GIRLS GAY AGENDA

    It was only to be expected that our lonely boys exposed to these conflicted times would succumb to the nagging Golden Girls agenda. These were slender, unathletic children who were left out of the fun militarism of the Reagan years. Skyrocketing divorce rates ruined their faith in traditional relationships. Rock groups like Duran Duran and Styx encouraged big hair and overactive libidos. The show lit a match which enflamed their intense physical urges. With the utmost cruelty and immorality, The Golden Girls seized upon this opportunity to cross the hormonal wires of America’s lost generation.

    The results were disastrous. Our horny, lonely boys sought out intimate comforts with likeminded Golden Girls addicts who didn’t mind each other’s theatrical voices and touch-feely hand gestures. Together, these clusters of awkward teens and twentysomethings bonded over their favorite episodes and characters, mimicking the voices and gowns of their tv friends. When the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill. They were so desperate for the next big trend they turned to same-sex sexual experimentation. What woman would have them now, anyway? This led to the worse excesses of early homosexual visibility– the most enormous of drag queens, the dirtiest of leather daddies, the most enticing of twinkie boys, androgyny, overeating, public sex and the birth of “camp.”


    That is not the entire article. Clearly it's enough. Laughably incredulous.

    So...did the Golden Girls make any of you gay?
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    Nov 03, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
    No. The big hair of bands like Duran Duran did it.

    But seriously? Sheesh. I didn't know whether to be angry or laugh hysterically.
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    Nov 03, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    That is ridiculous. We all know in the 80's Murphy Brown and Designing Women made us gay. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 03, 2009 6:36 PM GMT
    Do these people fathom how stupid they sound to anybody with a brain? In addition, they don't have their facts straight. Golden Girls was on for 7 seasons, not 8. They didn't make me gay. I was ALREADY there.
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    Nov 03, 2009 6:37 PM GMT
    That site [christwire.org] is satire. They also have an article about how comic characters were present at all the world's tragedies.

    Super_Hero_8%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800
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    Nov 03, 2009 6:38 PM GMT
    Dean Cain and David Chokachi made me gay.
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    Nov 03, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    lol... i guess it goes in the same boat that "gayness" was contageous... lol... people can jump off a bridge... they are just dumb
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    Nov 03, 2009 6:40 PM GMT
    Have they written about Fantasy Island? That was subversive, a midget and Ricardo Montablan.
  • me35mtl

    Posts: 306

    Nov 03, 2009 6:41 PM GMT
    I think Bo and Luke did me in...cant really blame 4 old women ..
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    Nov 03, 2009 6:52 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidDean Cain and David Chokachi made me gay.


    Yes! These are exactly the two guys I wanted in my bed back then! It is their fault I'm like I am! Their fault! (How do I go about thanking them?!)icon_cool.gif

    You have VERY good taste in men!
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    Nov 03, 2009 6:56 PM GMT
    rb10.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 03, 2009 6:58 PM GMT
    Ganymede0 saidThat site [christwire.org] is satire. They also have an article about how comic characters were present at all the world's tragedies.


    What is really a tragedy is that there are Christian websites which are almost exactly like that. icon_eek.gif
  • Parker817

    Posts: 359

    Nov 03, 2009 7:00 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidDean Cain and David Chokachi made me gay.


    David Chokachi DEFINITELY made me gay.
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:01 PM GMT
    I'll see your Rainbrow Brite and raise you He-Man.

    Masters-of-the-Universe-he-man-604213_12

    I mean come on! He was a prince (more like circuit queen) in a poet's blouse pink vest, purple pants, and UGG boots that had a magic sword that gave him a harness and a loin clothe. On top of that he was always hanging out with that military daddy (check out that c*ck broom), and he rode a purple panther!

    Add some techno music and you are at a Miami White Party.

    And we all know Skeletor was just a methed out old gym queen, too.
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:05 PM GMT
    blogpost-1239083800145-2.jpg

    this link is the XXX version and not suitable for children

    http://justcartoondicks.net/gaycartoon64_heman/originals/01.jpg
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:06 PM GMT
    lawlz!
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:14 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:15 PM GMT
    ridiculous
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidblogpost-1239083800145-2.jpg

    this link is the XXX version and not suitable for children

    http://justcartoondicks.net/gaycartoon64_heman/originals/01.jpg


    Is it wrong that i want to climb up on to Skeletors ass and join in icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:22 PM GMT
    Lostboy said
    Ganymede0 saidThat site [christwire.org] is satire. They also have an article about how comic characters were present at all the world's tragedies.


    What is really a tragedy is that there are Christian websites which are almost exactly like that. icon_eek.gif


    I prefer http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ Are the Sneaky Creatures in "Where the Wild Things Are" Trying to Teach Our Children How to Masturbate?
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite saidI prefer http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ Are the Sneaky Creatures in "Where the Wild Things Are" Trying to Teach Our Children How to Masturbate?


    "Years ago, a father entered his son's room to find him sitting in bed wearing a bunny outfit. The boy was naked below the waist, his back supported by several pillows. When daddy came closer, he could see his son had a copy of the book, Where the Wild Things Are, cinched between his naked knees. As daddy reached for the nearest Bible to fling at his son, the boy shifted his blanket frantically, trying desperately to cover his shame!"

    Oh man! That is HILARIOUS!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:28 PM GMT
    Even better from that same site Guerrilla posted:

    sissykit_01.gifsissykit_02.gifsissykit_03.gifsissykit_04.gif
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    Nov 03, 2009 7:56 PM GMT
    me35mtl saidI think Bo and Luke did me in...cant really blame 4 old women ..


    That was, as I like to call it, my awakening as well. Those shirtless Duke boys. Lord have mercy!

    MV5BMTg3NTgwNDkyN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDIw
  • me35mtl

    Posts: 306

    Nov 03, 2009 8:04 PM GMT
    RunintheCity said
    me35mtl saidI think Bo and Luke did me in...cant really blame 4 old women ..


    That was, as I like to call it, my awakening as well. Those shirtless Duke boys. Lord have mercy!

    MV5BMTg3NTgwNDkyN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDIw


    Funny enough, i was googling their images just to make 100% sure it was them that made this happen to me, and i saw that exact same pic you posted..the same pic that pretty much confirmed my suspicion ,,who can resist southern guys with country shirts exposing their hairy chests with the guy next door looks?
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 03, 2009 8:13 PM GMT
    Surfwarrior said
    Lostboy saidblogpost-1239083800145-2.jpg

    this link is the XXX version and not suitable for children

    http://justcartoondicks.net/gaycartoon64_heman/originals/01.jpg


    Is it wrong that i want to climb up on to Skeletors ass and join in icon_smile.gif


    Skeletor is hot. People who look like Skeletor are not.