Jiu-Jitsu Grappler BASHED for being GAY

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2009 1:32 AM GMT
    Below is a 12-minute clip on the Extras Disc for my "STRONGHOLD: In the Grip of Wrestling" documentary which shows how hard it was for me to get a non-homophobic Jiu-Jitsu school to be in the film. Eventually, as you will see, I got one to speak about what happened to me and the other guy in the film.

    I do understand that there are tons of schools that have gay guys, and that many of them don't care, but homophobia is still extremely prevalent. The best thing that you can be do as a gay man and a grappler, is not cut down or make fun of other gay men who enjoy the sport for both the competition, and who also are not afraid to admit that they enjoy the inherent homoeroticism in their private time.

    If someone says to you "It looks so gay," don't reply back "I'll kick your ass idiot," rather reply, "Yes, it does. Would you like to learn to do it?" Remember, when someone says "It looks gay" they are telling you that THEY see the homoeroticism in it and it makes THEM feel uncomfortable. Make them feel comfortable. Just don't bash them.

    OK, enjoy the clip!

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    Nov 05, 2009 2:30 AM GMT
    *bump*

    Should I put this clip on Youtube?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2009 5:13 AM GMT
    Yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2009 6:11 AM GMT
    Hmm, I don't believe I have ever taken the time to consider this perspective.



    *Considers it*



    (To be edited when I have considered it thoroughly enough.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2009 6:16 AM GMT
    you should first put the video in a more readable format .. mpeg maybe icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2009 6:50 AM GMT
    Sorry, I realized that I deleted the clip from the server before I slipped into bed. It's back up there. I will also encode for Youtube later in case you can't play it.
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    Nov 05, 2009 9:28 AM GMT
    Finally got to see the vid, good work on it too! icon_biggrin.gif

    This is a completely different topic than the last one though, but I explained some of the things in this video that was in the last topic.

    I've seen what happened to that guy, happen to other men who are gay. Its extremely unfortunate, and it pisses me off too. There are a lot of guys in that world and sport who hold that ignorance and hate within them.. Except the guys who are pretty spiritual about the sport, and strongly believe in god. They don't exhibit those bad behaviors.

    1, You have guys in there feeling weird having a gay man all over them. They think he's got sexual thoughts in his head, and is getting off on him.

    2, You have guys in there who think all gay men have aids, and when the blood starts going, they are afraid of maybe catching it.

    3, They don't like to think a guy is checking em out in the locker room.

    Those are the 3 things you'll always hear from those ignorant assholes. Not every guy in that sport thinks like that though. That type of hate and ignorance always comes from the assholes of the sport, who have no kind of class at all, even in victory.

    There was a guy in an old gym of mine who was gay, he was in the lightweight division. He got outed by someone. Some of the guys in the heavyweight division would taught and abuse him a lot because of it. My brother, and friends of mine would stick up for him a lot, which then naturally of course had to mean we were fuckin him. When I went off to the military, and my bro moved, we weren't around for that dude anymore. I had heard from one of the other guys that he actually got beaten up pretty bad and raped by the guys who were taunting him.

    The guys didn't do it because they thought he was hot or anything, they just did it to humiliate him. It messed the guy up really bad, he even got to the point to where he wanted to kill himself, and was extremely ashamed to talk about it. He wasn't getting aroused or anything in the sport, and he was extremely damn good in his division the best in it, and loved to fight.

    When they did what he did to him, he had told me it made him feel like less of a man, it made him feel weak, and he no longer wanted to train or anything anymore. That hurt me a lot, and pissed me off. Worst part about it is that the guys who did all of that crap to him never got in trouble for it.

    I keep in contact with the guy, been trying to get him to get back into it letting him know he's not weak and all.

    The guy at the end had it right, why men do it. Its very natural for some men to want to fight. Some men are just born with that warrior spirit, and or have a lot of aggression in them they need to have directed in the right ways. Men have always enjoyed competing with each other, and displaying power and skill its always been like that. A lot of people in today's society will often frown on it, thinking those guys are barbaric.

    I've always seen guys come into the gym who are looking for that. They discover that its what they need, have been looking for, and realize they do have that whole warrior spirit thing. So they just instantly fall in love with it, its nothing sexual, or erotic.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Nov 05, 2009 10:55 AM GMT
    I've never even remotely considered a sport like that, but after watching the video I found myself actually thinking what an awesome stress relief it would be and a great way to add variety to my workouts!

    I'm not the least surprised that insecure guys would react so drastically to the news that they were bested by a guy BJJ artist. It happens in so many other sports, why would this one be different?
  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Nov 05, 2009 2:10 PM GMT
    Excellent clip....
    definitely will check out the full length version
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    Nov 05, 2009 4:35 PM GMT
    Hey, glad you liked it!

    Gotta tell you, for years even with just my simple online bashing that you see in the video I developed a sad dislike for BJJ; what happened to me tarnished the sport, and still to this day when I pass by a UFC channel or whatever I cringe a bit. The guys posted some nasty stuff online, tried to find out who was "funding" my film, I mean really a lot of sick sick hate, and I had to deal with it a second time the week my mother died. I got bashed both in 2004 (for six months straight) and May of 2008. And believe it or not, the one who bashed me the most was the MODERATOR of the forum that explicitly said not to in the Terms and Conditions.

    As a filmmaker I only responded to a few simple questions, and just sat back and had to read what awful stuff they wrote without replying. I said to myself, Vic, you didn't expect this, but you are doing a documentary and if it's happening to you, it is probably happening to others, so document it. Take screen captures, recordings, etc. And remember, the film was not even out yet so they had no idea how the film was going to be presented.

    I went out of my way to find a school that would represent BJJ better. But I can still tell you that I felt homophobia at that school as well, but maybe not as bad.

    A year after I filmed that piece I talked to the guy at the end on the phone who jokingly responded "probably homoerotic" and he told me he meant what he said. He's married and has kids. Really cool guy.

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    Nov 05, 2009 5:06 PM GMT
    yeah thanks for putting that up.

    I'm glad to say that in my judo club, if it came to a situation, it'd be the homophobes who'd be told to pack and leave (I'm on the board as well as being an instructor, so I'm one of the bosses lol). we want our club to be open and accepting of all kinds of people, well except those extremely narrowminded people icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 05, 2009 5:17 PM GMT
    I think you distort sport with fetish and do the sport, as an athletic endeavor, a huge disservice, as well as use this site for your marketing campaign.

    There is no doubt that Southerners, with their low literacy, and false belief systems, are more prejudiced than other folks in the country, but, almost any Real Jock knows there are gay, bi, and straight folks in every sport. Most Real Jocks are in the game for the athletic endeavor, and not because of some underlying perversion.

    What's really disgusting is turning sports into fetish. I think that turns most reasonable folks off (true athletes), gay, bi, or straight. It comes across as a sickness, and not only taints the sport and enrages folks who are in sport for athleticism, but furthers prejudice, and the reason for it. As long as sport is polluted by the perverts, there's going to be push back from regular folks.

    Given the South Carolina case was wrong, it's not because that guy was great athlete, but, because of folks like you who give gay athletes a bad name. They don't want it be being a point of contention, and it shouldn't be, but, with folks ruining the "game" by overtly sexualizing it, no wonder regular folks are repulsed.

    You want your cake and eat it too and you come across as being ill to most mainstream folks.

    Being open minded sexually, I like to engage in sport without having some creep get turned on by the endeavor. It's sick.
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    Nov 06, 2009 8:59 AM GMT
    Thanks for putting up the video. Great insight that a shit load of people need to see. You showed the harsh reality that people go through for a very very unjust reason. Thanks once again. Great video too.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Nov 06, 2009 9:14 AM GMT
    chuckystud saidI think you distort sport with fetish and do the sport, as an athletic endeavor, a huge disservice, as well as use this site for your marketing campaign.

    There is no doubt that Southerners, with their low literacy, and false belief systems, are more prejudiced than other folks in the country, but, almost any Real Jock knows there are gay, bi, and straight folks in every sport. Most Real Jocks are in the game for the athletic endeavor, and not because of some underlying perversion.

    What's really disgusting is turning sports into fetish. I think that turns most reasonable folks off (true athletes), gay, bi, or straight. It comes across as a sickness, and not only taints the sport and enrages folks who are in sport for athleticism, but furthers prejudice, and the reason for it. As long as sport is polluted by the perverts, there's going to be push back from regular folks.

    Given the South Carolina case was wrong, it's not because that guy was great athlete, but, because of folks like you who give gay athletes a bad name. They don't want it be being a point of contention, and it shouldn't be, but, with folks ruining the "game" by overtly sexualizing it, no wonder regular folks are repulsed.

    You want your cake and eat it too and you come across as being ill to most mainstream folks.

    Being open minded sexually, I like to engage in sport without having some creep get turned on by the endeavor. It's sick.


    So says the man with how many videos of you flexing in a singlet?

    I'll spare you the 'get off your high horse' bit because it's a touch overdone with you. To be honest I kind of like you, which is why I find your post incredibly hypocritical and ludicrous.

    There's nothing wrong with being turned on by competing in sports. Having said that, there IS something wrong by getting off on guys who clearly indicate they are NOT interested in any sort of sexualization with another man.

    But how many fucking sports have cheerleaders flashing their twats in an attempt to encourage male dominance? Because lets face it, men compete to best other men in an attempt to be the most physically virile, because the more physically virile and dominant a man is the more appealing a mate he becomes. There's a direct link between competition and sex that spans millennia, all the way back to when we were nothing more than primitives.

    So for you to sit there and pass THAT kind of judgement, knowing full well you sexualize SOME aspect of sport...THAT'S the sick part.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2009 6:58 PM GMT
    OK, I put the clip on Youtube now in case you could not watch it. I had to cut the first 2-minutes out to fit Youtube's 10-minute limit.

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    Nov 08, 2009 7:24 PM GMT
    That was good. I think people tend to diminish the effects of homophobia because it never affects them in such an apparent way as this guy.

    But also, I agree that there is something primal and natural about grappling and wrestling. I know as a boy I was always wrestling with my brother and friends. There is something exhilarating about it. Also the animal wrestling and play thing came to my mind before it was even mentioned. Maybe you should put together a video compilation of animals play-fighting and wrestling.