Expectations of sexual manipulation during a massage

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2007 9:12 PM GMT
    Do you expect sexual services from your massage therapist and why?

    The reason I am asking is that I am a licenced massage therapist and it has occured on a couple of occasions where clients book a massage and expect masturbation as part of the massage therapy session.

    I spent over 1000 hours in training and tons of money to work in the health industry.
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    Jan 23, 2007 9:30 PM GMT
    Absolutley, and here's why. Just got back from my massage. My gay male therapist does all the massaging but I do the jo. I think that massage is very beneficial to men in paricular because of prostate health, better ejaculation, and erections. i've had a vasectom which I'm not super happy about, but I think that massage has helped the loss of ejaculation performance surrounding that issue. I'm not purporting to back it up with any scientific studies, but men have different parts than women. Is that a surprise? It's not a sex get off. It's massage. He massages the area around my rectum too. He massages my scrotum and balls. We sit for a lot of hours in this country. The increased blood flow is good for that region of the body. Is it hot? Sure it is. But it is also healthful beneficial massage. We are so prudish in America. A lot of gay men included if you can believe it. i tip my therapist extremely well. Are you offended when you go to France and the women are topless? Come on! Get over it.
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    Jan 24, 2007 4:02 AM GMT
    Hah. The American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) would love to hear that. Not!

    No, actually, while it may be enjoyable to have a massage with "happy release" either/or for the recipient or by massage therapist, or mutual, such would be considered an act of prostitution if money was exchanged, no judgment intended.
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    Jan 24, 2007 7:30 PM GMT
    I don't know if it should be expected, but it should be discussed before the massage if the patient desires this 'treatment'. There are many types of massage and I think this should only be part of a sensual message.
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    Jan 25, 2007 1:16 AM GMT
    Thanks for responding! I have to say that as much as I enjoy pleasuring my partner and being pleasured sexually.

    I am a massage therapist whom happens to be gay. Most of my clients - young/old, male/female gay/straight don't know my sexual orientation and It is not even an issue. Over my career I have had a few incidents where I was either my crotch was grabed or I was asked to perform mastrubation on the client. These clients don't return for a second session.

    I realize that massage and touch is sensual in nature. That an erection during a massage is normal but It does not give the therapist nor the client the right to disrespect the the other person. Yes, the therapist may rub up against the genitals but that usually is not the intent.

    If you therapist is performing sexual acts of nature, it is a form of prostitution. In my provence a therapist will have his/her licence taken away. We have inspectors that govern this sort of activity.

    Massage is of a non sexual intent for the benifit of creating a state of well being; Mentally, physically and spriritually.

    I have never gone to my family physician, dentist or chiropractor and expected to me "jerked off" after my check up or treatment.



  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Jan 25, 2007 1:43 PM GMT
    I agree with you RK! I reward myself with a massage about once a month. The masseuse that I go to is this HOT 25 year old guy. I don't go to him because he is hot, but because he gives the best massage there. I think that I would be kicked out of the place if I suggested a 'happy ending'! Good luck to the guys who do receive these from their masseuse though!
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    Feb 17, 2007 9:31 PM GMT
    I think the whole "happy ending" thing is pathetic. I want the best massage possible. Jerking off is something I can do on my own, just fine, thank you. It's an insult to both me, and the person doing the massage, to inject sex into the whole thing. I've done massage to people for money when I was in a rough spot, and the old roll over on the side for the happy ending thing is pretty sad. I've never given anyone a happy
    ending, and you won't see me asking for it, nor wanting it. It's demeaning to both parties.

    As usual, in gay culture, there seems to have to be some sexual overture. E.g., gay bath houses have no parallel in straight culture.

    With closeted folks, the Religious Right, plain ignorance, and gay culture attaching sex to every activity, no wonder it's hard to gain acceptance.

    I assure you, we're not all fucked up.
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    Feb 18, 2007 12:19 AM GMT
    Thank you so much Chuckystud!
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    Feb 20, 2007 8:16 AM GMT
    bloglcon I ve spent over 2000 hours to achieve my license in massage,,,,,,,,,,And have no attentions of giving sexual favors doing a session......thats the most rediculous thing I have ever heard.........if your massage therapist does that for you hes obvious a hustler....why risk 2000 hours of hard work over some guy with a hard dick........its not worth it. guys like that i kick off my table presto pronto
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    Feb 20, 2007 3:18 PM GMT
    It's mighty embarassing when I find my pole standing half-mast--even when being massaged by a woman. not intentionally. so i'd rather just hang out on top of my water-powered massage blanket from Sharper Image

    http://www.pornhub.com/album/show_album?id=11266321
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    Feb 20, 2007 3:44 PM GMT
    It might interest people to note that in my state (RI) happy endings are in fact legal. They are anything but happy, though. Due to some strange legal issues, prostitution is legal in private in RI. If you paid for the massage first, anything sexual that happens after is legal, even if money is exchanged.

    In fact, the definition of "private" is so broad that cruising in a wooded area, like what might be alongside a highway rest stop, is considered private. The legal test is that for an area to be public, a member of the public could be reasonably expected to happen upon you while going about their business. So, if you have to pay to get in, or are out of view of public rights of way, you are in private. RI only is able to regulate "public soliciation" and "loitering for the purpose of prostitution," both of which must occur in public.

    This has created a huge human trafficing problem in this state, with glorified pimps paying for asian women to immigrate here as "massage therapists," and then forcing them to work off their debts as sex slaves in massage parlors that are glorified brothels. The state is currently struggling to find a way to regulate this in a fashion that gets around our state constitution's rigorous privacy protection without unduly punishing the women who really are the victims in the whole situation.
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    Feb 20, 2007 3:44 PM GMT
    I don't quite get comments from people like BlogIcon who say "we in America are so prudish." Of course, he's the exception, right? It's funny how a country as expansive and diverse as the United States gets pigeon holed into the most generalized stereotypes, even by Americans. There are more sex shops and sex clubs and sexually oriented businesses in the US than any nation on earth. America produces more porn than the rest the world combined. But I'm sure BlogIcon would turn around and condemn America as decadent! America simply cannot win with some people--you know, the snobs.
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    Feb 20, 2007 4:25 PM GMT
    I remember when I used to live in Germany. I intended Gay Saunas during the week end and I happened to have massages. I generally felt better after hours of training during the week. I couldn't stop myself having a hard on whenever the guy was massaging sensitive parts of my body, but I never wanted to go past a certain limit. This guy was only paid for the massage, and I could understand it very well.

    I also read the previous comments and I can say the top less women appeared in France at Saint Tropez. (Brigitte Bardot)

    Are the USA a puritain country ?...I don't think so and I completely agree with cutejockmasc with his comments. The Government Policies make us believe what they want to.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Feb 21, 2007 11:45 AM GMT
    I think it's ludicrus to expect a qualified masseur to give you a hand-shandy at the end of the process. You are there for a massage, not to get your rocks off.

    I do think it's natural to get turned on by the process though. I do however think that it is common decency to cross your legs, be a bit embarassed and maybe apologise if you do find yourself with an erection. I'm sure masseurs see the effects of their touch all the time.

    As for Americans being prudish. I think this interpretation (as far as outsider like myself goes) comes from the strange contradiction that exists in the USA. On one hand you seem to be able to buy explicit porn absolutely everywhere (newstands etc), but then the country has a nervous breakdown at the sight of a woman's nipple (poor old Janet Jackson). What's that all about?

    Loz
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    Feb 21, 2007 3:19 PM GMT
    Laurence, liberty breeds contradictions. For example, you paint your house pink and I paint mine green (unless there's a community standard, which have passed Constitutional muster). Or, you decide to attend San Fancisco's Folsom Street Fair (which permits public sex and nudity), and I decide to go to a Christian revival in Napa County. Or, you watch EWTN (a 24-hour Catholic Cable channel), and I choose to watch MTV's "Next," which often shows teen-age boys toungue kissing each other. Or, you travel to Nevada for a vaction and have sex in one of the state's legal brothels, and I decide to go to Nevada's neighbor Utah and explore the rich history of Mormonism.... Get it now?
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Feb 21, 2007 4:00 PM GMT
    Hi CJM.

    Hey,I hope you didn't think I was being critical of your great country. I am a big fan, in the main, of the many achievements of the USA. I was just pointing out how some things might be viewed contradictory by outsiders, just as I am sure some things that we Europeans get up to may seem so to you Americans. I think we'd all like to live in a world where we (and our actions, if not hurting anyone else) could live in peace and harmony. And it would certainly be a boring world if we all were the same and had the same views.

    Freedom of speech is an important part of a civilised society.

    Loz
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    Feb 21, 2007 8:09 PM GMT
    Yes, Europe is full of contradictons also. For example, the countries that are very liberal on gay issues also have the most hate crimes committed against gay people than any other nations in the industrialized world--U.N. statistic. In other words, I'd rather be an openly gay baseball player playing center field for the Texas Rangers than an openly gay soccer player playing left flank in the Netherlands. That would be almost like a death sentence.
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    Feb 22, 2007 12:25 AM GMT
    i go to a gay masseur, he's even on this site (i forget his screen name), and i have no hopes of getting a happy ending from him. many of the people on this site are honest athletes, and sometimes we need an honest athletic massage. not just something that feels good. so we go to trained masseurs. now i'm sure that people go to masseurs for pleasure with the hopes of having an extra-pleasurable experience. but there are different masseurs for that. you know? so i say if you want a massage for pleasure, you just have to look for the right people to give you those. if you want a massage for relief, then you look for different masseurs and go in with different expectations.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Feb 22, 2007 10:49 AM GMT
    Hi again CJM.

    Hey that's great. I had no idea being an out Gay sportsman (or woman) was no big deal in the US.

    You're obviously more progressive than we are in Europe. Where there are still problems with being out and proud in the sports arena.

    Loz
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    Feb 24, 2007 12:37 AM GMT
    Road is right. I go for a sport massage to work out all the knots I have from practice! Ouch! ...but later ...

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    Feb 24, 2007 3:25 AM GMT
    Fellas.

    I think that you have forgotten about the topic issue and turned this forum into a gay bash for other countries.

    We all know that religion has ruled this planet since it first existed.
    I think that we should focus on what we have in common in gay world. Same struggles and make a push throughout the entire world to change.
    To be a single force pushing for total "Acceptance" not toleration.

    Please do not fight over which countries are better. Do we not have more pressing matters?
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    Feb 24, 2007 3:25 AM GMT
    srry rk.
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    Mar 06, 2007 11:36 PM GMT
    I think the comments have been really great! I know that here in Canada we are a bit more liberal than other countries, Quebec being very liberal. We have same sex marriages, one of the first few countries in the world. There are therapists here, who I know do happy endings, they are up front and advertise in the local paper. To me, there is a huge difference between getting a theraputic massage from a professional and a rub down and hand job by someone who took a weekend course.

    However, I don't care where you live or how liberal your country, state, city is - the issue is Do you expect extras from your therapist and why do you think so?
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    Mar 07, 2007 12:23 AM GMT
    I think the arguing back and forth is a little silly.

    I live in south florida and admittedly it's a little gay-central. I have no qualms going to an LMT with a happy ending.

    That said however, LMTs or Body Rubs advertise fairly clearly if the happy ending is included. If you want one, you go to one that advertises or intimates such. If you don't, then go to an LMT that doesn't advertise it, and don't ask him for it.

    Personally I don't find anything wrong with a happy ending. If that's what a guy wants from his massage guy and he is happy to give it, then so be it. It's not hurting you so why whine about it.

    If however you're a no happy ending LMT, then simply state as much in a polite fashion so your [new] client knows better than to ask you.

    -----

    The prudishness of America is getting all up in arms because of what someone else does with some other person. Why fuss about it when it really has little to do with you? There are a lot of things that I don't like, find disgusting, or scary. But why should I get my balls in a blender over it and dig out the megaphone and anti-whatever posters?

    Some people are rude and blatantly ask for a handjob or whatever after a massage. My advice to you is a polite "i'm sorry, that's not offered here." For the others that are getting agitated by the idea of a massage and sex, ... why do you care?


    :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2007 12:57 AM GMT
    I wouldn't expect it, but it would be a nice fantasy. After a stessful day, I would love to have a hot guy massage the stess and tension out of me. Most likely, I'd doze off and enjoy his strong, sensual hands. I'd respect him enough to not make him feel uncomfortable. If he initiates some extra activities, hey I can deal with that ;o)