Politely turning down dancing at clubs

  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Nov 06, 2009 9:46 AM GMT
    I just got home from my first gay club experience (first club experience, and first gay community experience actually), and I had a great time.

    One snag I ran into though was trying to figure out a polite way to decline dancing with someone. A pretty hot guy started dancing with me and I thought ok we're all here to dance and have fun, whatever. Then he started feeling me up and tried to make me turn around to face him (I was in front of him and he was behind me, we were facing the same way) and I was just not enjoying it at that point. He left and came back and I just told him 'i'm actually dating someone. i'm sorry.' (which i'm not, i just didn't know what else to say icon_redface.gif )

    I just wasn't comfortable with that. I don't know if what I said was wrong or what because one of my friends there said he looked angry and that nobody at that club turns this guy down....I don't know. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2009 10:08 AM GMT
    Well that wasn't a bad way to turn someone down, Lot's of people tend to say that or they just say "sorry I'm not interested"

    You could have also just moved his hands off you and he probably would have gotten the hint.

    Who cares if he gets mad, Tough shit! icon_razz.gif lol
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 06, 2009 11:49 AM GMT
    Just dance away ............... icon_biggrin.gif
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Nov 06, 2009 12:18 PM GMT
    You did the right thing. And just as lenoxx suggested, just brush off their reach if it gets uncomfortable. You don't owe him a dance, or a bump and grind.
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    Nov 06, 2009 12:49 PM GMT
    I just dance away, or my friends grab me and hold me passionately while saying "THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND!"
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    Nov 06, 2009 12:51 PM GMT
    actually, if "noone turns him down" you probably did him a favour. One day he will have to return to the real world.
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:03 PM GMT
    brandohsaurus saidI just dance away, or my friends grab me and hold me passionately while saying "THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND!"


    Yep.......you have to have code words and plan with your friends to help out in situations like this. Sometimes even if you gab the offender's hands and push him away, he still doesn't get the hint, so a little intervention by your friends helps a lot.

    And who gives a flying fuck if the guy was angry?
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:11 PM GMT
    Oh how I would have loved to see the look on his face when you turned him down.icon_biggrin.gif

    You handled it very well. Me, I would have started dancing like Elaine from Seinfeld, he would have sashayed away from so fast he would have left skid marks.
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:15 PM GMT
    Just dance away. Smile. Be friendly. But be firm when he gets too close.

    Everyone is there to have a good time. Telling a little white lie is alright, but could turn ugly when he sees you sucking face with the guy you met at the urinal.
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:25 PM GMT
    it doesn't matter what you say or do to get out of an uncomfortable situation as long as you do it with compassion and firmness.
    You don't need to be subjected to any behavior that makes you uncomfortable, but in situations where that sort of behavior might be the norm, its always best to bow out kindly. I think you did a great job! You obviously have good social instincts! "Well done!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:26 PM GMT
    I just twirl away and you fallow at your own risk....if you dare.icon_wink.gif
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Nov 06, 2009 3:27 PM GMT
    Use This:

    rejected.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 06, 2009 3:28 PM GMT
    Scream "BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!" at the top of your lungs and start crying.
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:37 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidScream "BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!" at the top of your lungs and start crying.



    LMAO!!!
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Nov 06, 2009 5:39 PM GMT
    I usually give a death stare or say "Off my stack." and they run with their tails between their legs.
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    Nov 06, 2009 5:43 PM GMT
    Dance like this



    THought you might be taken off by the medics for having an epileptic fit
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 06, 2009 5:55 PM GMT
    You handled it well. You gave him a message by not turning around, he should have gotten the hint.

    Face it, even if you like the music, there is no way someone like this is going to let you enjoy it. I usually wipe my brow, start breathing heavy, act like I need a breather, and walk off the floor. If he leaves the floor soon after, I just go back up again, lol. It's kind of like a big FU in pantomime.
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Nov 06, 2009 6:56 PM GMT
    DanielH saidUse This:

    rejected.gif


    All advice here is great but I really think I need to invest in this. icon_biggrin.gif